Chapter 4

Gwen sat on her bed looking out of her window. It was around midnight and she had an oil lamp burning on her nightstand. She was stuck in a problem. The problem was preventing her from doing what she needed to do. And the problem had to do with her mother. If she were to suddenly leave in the middle of the night then it would be problematic and would cause her mother great pain. But if she were to tell her mother that she was planning to leave then she would be prevented from going.

Gwen did not want anything to get in her way and she would be locked in the house if she told her mother. But if she didn't tell her then it would cause her mother to be upset.

She sighed as she looked out of the window. Gwen got up and tapped her fingers against the cool glass as she looked at all the lights. She could see people walking down on the street. Still doing their business no matter how cold or late it would get.

Gwen already had a bag with her things on her bed. She had packed her most suitable clothes for the journey, some small snacks to eat and mementos she cherished. She considered leaving them here so that they would be safe from anything but she realized that if she joined the army she would most likely be lonely there. It was the first time she would be without her parents and it would be hard on her. Especially leaving like how she wanted.

After a couple of seconds of inner turmoil, she decided to make the hard choice and just leave. But she would leave behind a letter. Gwen was not a child anymore. She had thought her decision through and knew that this was what she was supposed to do. Leaving the Queen to do what she wanted and not doing anything was just as bad of a thing as the person doing it. She knew her mother was scared and she was scared but she felt like this was what she had to do.

Gwen wanted to avenge her mother and get the country back on the right track. It was not fair that her mother was cruelly driven out of her home and didn't get the life she deserved. Gwen would make sure she would. This was what she put in her letter. She poured out her heart hoping that for one last time her mother would understand where she was coming from.

'I didn't want it to end up this way but it's the only way that I can see myself getting to where I wanted. I have a plan. A solid plan. So believe me. Believe in me, please. I'm going to do great and avenge you, I swear. I am capable of handling myself out there as I am skilled in combat. The Queen will be defeated. She will not get the things she wants and we will all be happy.

I love you and dad, please stay safe.

P.S. Don't try to make any officers look for me. I will be charged with treason and killed if they found out my reason. So just be patient. I will write more letters once I get there. I promise.'

Gwen ended her letter with teary eyes. She made her bed and rested the folded paper in the center of it. This would definitely break her mother's heart. But it was something she needed to do.

Once everything was set in her room she zipped up her bag, blew out her lamp, and left. Looking at the clock on the wall, she squinted and saw that it was around one o'clock. The borders were always open to cross so there would be people there. Gwen hoped there would be other people there so that she didn't look suspicious. The only person showing up in the dead of the night would definitely raise some eyebrows.

She put on her boots, cloak, and a thick jacket over it before she left. The air outside was frosty and she could clearly see her breath. There were other people trudging along the roads as well. Some holding sacks of things, others pulling carts down the roads. Gwen smiled a bit. She felt a little less scared now that there were people outside. And with one last look at the butcher's shop, she walked away.

"It's too late to start regretting things now," she said to herself.

Gwen walked on the side of the road, passing under the street lights and passing the many piles of trash on the roads. She passed by a couple of paperboys and well-known vendors. Somewhere in her heart, it felt like she was saying goodbye to her town but she convinced herself she would return as someone who was victorious.

The border was a ways away from where she lived and she walked for a couple of hours before she got there. Walking for that long was something that she would have to learn how to do in the army so she could not complain. It was not too bad because of how peaceful it was outside but once in the army, she knew there would be much more chaos and a lot more yelling. The thought made her stomach flip and she gripped her bag tighter.

"I'm doing this. I really am." she smiled.

The border was crowded. Not really what she expected to see once she got there but understood because war was near. She guessed that anyone who was not a part of a family larger than three people was taking the chance and leaving. Gwen's family could leave and before she wanted to join the army she thought they should have left but her mother did not have an identification card. It was probably somewhere in the palace, forgotten.

And if she proposed the idea to get a fake one she knew her mother would never do that. She was too pure for that sort of thing.

Gwen joined the line and huddles her clothes together to her body as she waited anxiously to get to the front. There was a line for people that went into a building that would let them through to the other side and there was a line for cars that were outside. The line with the people led all the way outside and everyone was left to freeze in the miserable cold as they waited to get through.

There were arm barriers that stopped the cars to get checked and then from then on was the fence that outlined the border. It stopped when it got closer to the border of Estril because the border there was mostly a forest and so instead of a fence there were guards who patrolled the area. There were border guards everywhere but more in the forest. It was said that they were skilled in guerilla warfare and never let anyone pass. Gwen had wanted to test that theory but refrained.

It took Gwen a solid hour before she was able to get to the front of the line. The sky was getting light and her nerves were refusing to give her a break. Her mother would be awake in a few hours and she would find the letter probably cry, wanting to get her back. Maybe she would ignore everything Gwen said and still try-

"Next in line, please." the border guard cut off her thoughts.

Gwen took a shaky breath as she looked into her bag for her identification card. Gwen left her real one home just in case she accidentally pulled it out. And if they checked her bag and found another one then that would not be the best thing for her. 

"Identification card please," he said in a plain voice.

Gwen handed it to him with a small smile. Her stomach was doing summersaults and her heart would not calm down no matter how much she begged it to. Her hands shook and she prayed the guard did not notice.

He gave her cards once over and then looked at her. "You're from Naudis?"

"Yes sir,"

"And why were you in Paria-Drae?"

"I was here for a little getaway but things got a little hard and my parents want me back home. They worry alot, especially with everything that is going on." she gave him a sad look. Trying her best to invoke some sort of sympathy.

Many people from Paria-Drae felt shame for what the Queen was doing and so she hoped that the guard would let her through because he felt sorry for what the Quee was doing. She was sure that there were guards who even let families larger than three pass. Barely anyone really liked the Queen. Although it was not openly said and boldly done. The country was not listening to anything she had to say. She was sure that if a family of six came begging to be let through they would. It was an unspoken thing between the citizens and Gwen loved it. And it seemed like to was just enough to get her to pass.

The guard gave her a sad smile. "I see. I see. Well, you should get back as soon as you can." he handed her card and stepped aside to let her pass.

Gwen walked past him and through the door to the other side. He didn't even check her bag or anything. They must feel really sorry for everyone. But if Gwen was in that position she would just anyone pass without batting an eye.

She looked back over the border to Paria-Drae before heading towards the building just some meters away to get checked by the Naudis guard.