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Confessions.
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The One He Never Put First. Killing me softly.
*Flashback*"I love you but I hate that you're doing this to me."I say to my fiancé in frustration. I know there's no turning back now but that still won't stop me from being annoyed and complaining about it."All you're doing is going to dinner with your future husband's family, I don't get what's so painful about that.""Oh I don't know, maybe just the simple fact that said family happens to be a bunch of your ex-wives who would rather not have me breathing the same air as them."I say to him only half joking."Babe, they just need to get used to you. And how are they going to do that if they never see you?"I decide not to respond to that to not ensue another argument. I've been meeting them for quite a while now and they still treat me the same, like I'm an intruder. He knows this but he keeps on defending them. It's getting old and irritating. They are grown-ups and they need to act like it.I don't tell him all that though. I instead ask him,"Do they know?"I'm pretty sure the
The One He Never Put First. Mama.
"Mom?"She thought she was dreaming. It had been so long that the woman looked completely different. She had always been very beautiful but clearly the years had been too hard on her. Like she'd been miserable the past couple of years."Yes sweetheart, it's me." Her tears were uncontrollable. She hadn't seen her daughter conscious in years. 6 years to be exact.Kayla stood up on her feet to give her mother the biggest embrace she'd ever given. The fact that she wasn't a teenager anymore didn't stop her from balling her eyes out on her mother's shoulder."Mama, I missed you so much." She'd continued to say as the older lady held on to her form for dear life. "I'm so sorry." She whispered into her ear.There hadn't been a day she hadn't thought about her daughter, despite being the one who kicked her out. She wished she could explain why she hadn't reached out all those years even though she really wanted to, there was no excuse except for the simple reason that she was human and she ba
The One He Never Put First. Betrayal.
Aaron Miller was a prodigy.Even though he was known not to be messed with, he was one of the most generous beings in the country. He had countless charitable organizations on his payroll and he always did the best that he could to help out where he could.Mrs. Sinclair knew this very well. This was because she had done extensive research on the man. This was the man her daughter had run away with and she needed to know who he really was, if she had more things she needed to worry about.Even though she hated the man, she couldn't help but go through all the good he'd done in his community and the world. She'd been in awe despite her heart not wanting her to be at how incredible he seemingly was.But that still didn't overall change her true feelings about him. She hated him, more than words could ever express. Because of him, she wasn't ever able to see her daughter turn into a woman. She never got to send her to college and see her cry uncontrollably at the fact that she was going t
The One He Never Put First. No saint.
*Flashback*"Seriously? You got me fired?"Words cannot explain the anger radiating within me. Yes, I wasn't the kindest person to him, but getting me fired was beyond extreme. And not only that,"I can't get any other job because you put me on some stupid list and now no one will hire me." I try really hard not to cry as I say this because I don't want him thinking he broke me or something.Of course I'd just thought to go get another job for the summer after getting fired, only to find out I'm unhirable."Sorry sir, we couldn't stop her." I hear a guard say breathlessly behind me. I asked them nicely to see their boss and they wouldn't let me so I did what I had to do. I kicked him in the nuts and then ran around until I found his office. The security team is clearly a joke here since it wasn't hard at all to find this person who's supposedly really important.I'm too busy thinking about how much of an idiot the guard is that I don't see Mr important's full 6'5 hovering over me, I'
The One He Never Put First. Bruise.
"Mr. Miller, any comments on today's potential verdict?""Mr. Miller, will you be divorcing your wife after this case?""Mr. Miller, do you think your ex-wife will get jail time?""No she won't."That was something he knew for certain. The mother of his son was not going to be arrested. He knew though that answering the press was a bad idea because it only encouraged them to ask more questions. So he was hardly surprised when,"Mr. Miller...""Mr. Miller...""Mr. Miller..."He had to shut them out, all of them. For his sanity.He had a clue on what the verdict was going to be, and he knew he was definitely not going to divorce his wife but he unfortunately couldn't say the same for the girl. He knew he was going to fight though, he was going to fight for her even if it was the last thing he did. The situation they were in was beyond complicated but just like every hardship they'd ever been through, they'd get through it. They always did."Are you ready Aaron?"He wasn't. Not even in t
The One He Never Put First. Marry me.
*Flashback*"Marry me.""What?""Marry me."I look at my boyfriend like the crazy person he is but I'm surprised when I don't see even a hint of humor in his eyes. So I look back at him again, now with the same intensity he's radiating through his eyes. But it's to ask him again,"What?"Aaron Miller has made a declaration, to himself and the people around him. That he would never again get married and he put that on his life. Dating him, I had to accept that we would never get past the dating point. That marriage was something I would never experience, at least not with him. I'd happily given that up because I'd never felt for anyone what I felt for him. No man had ever made my heart beat a mile a minute just by a single stare.We're now laying in bed, at 2 p.m. Something we've been doing a lot lately, mostly because it's winter time and there's nowhere else we'd rather be. But also because we can't seem to be able to be apart from each other. Wherever he is is where I want to be, a
The One He Never Put First. Consequences.
Wait.Is what they were told to do.Mrs. Sinclair paced around the corridor of the familiar hospital ignoring her husband's desperate attempt to calm her down, there was no way at all that she could be free from stress in that moment, she was in complete agony.Why? Because it was all her fault, at least that was what she kept telling herself. The doctors warned that putting her under a lot of stress might do more harm than good to her already compromised state and she simply didn't listen. She just had to get revenge, and because of that her daughter's life was in danger. Again.Her daughter's life was in danger, because of something that ultimately proved to be useless.She knew very well that the system didn't quite cater much for people who looked like them, especially not against affluential beings like Aaron Miller. Shame on her for having faith and hoping that the system would prove her wrong, but an even bigger shame on her for ever thinking that her ex-son-in-law cared even t
The One He Never Put First. Unspecial.
*Flashback*"I don't know I guess I've always imagined it to be a little more... special."I was never really a kid who cared much about my wedding day or the dress I would want to wear on the day but that doesn't mean I didn't want the day to be great. It doesn't mean I didn't want the day to be so amazing I would want to tell my great-grandkids about it."You know I can't love." He says to me as he packs up the things he needs to go to the office, further breaking my heart.I take a breath to calm myself down and then make my way to the kitchen where he follows me not long after.We sit in silence as we relish the omelet meal I made for us. My mind is racing but his isn't, because as always - the thing that means everything to me means nothing to him. He's sitting reading the business section of the newspaper that's hiding half his figure. I know it's not purposeful but that doesn't stop me from being irritated.Not because of the newspaper of course. I'm irritated because he's bein
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The One He Never Put First. Conclusion.
To truly understand someone, you have to go back to their past, what they'd been through.I, just like the majority of humanity have been taught that one can either be good or bad. That it can either be black or white, yes or no. But I think that's not true.I think that people do really bad stuff sometimes, but that doesn't necessarily make them bad people. It just makes them well... human.I also think that mental illness is a part of it. When you've been hurt so much, you start to expect it. And when you've hurt people so much, they start to expect that from you - so you give them what they expect.Of course that's not the 'mental illness' portion of it. I just think that our minds are really fucked up.It's been a year.The 'Aaron Miller Massacre' news took the world by storm. There wasn't a news channel that didn't cover the story, nor a person who didn't speak of it.When I'd heard about what had actually happened, I was shaken beyond words. Literally.See after they'd removed h
The One He Never Put First. I'm so sorry.
'My dearest Kayla,If you're reading this it's because I'm either serving life in prison or my life has been taken from me.I know I haven't been the greatest partner and I'm sorry that I'll never get a chance to make it up to you. You were right, I should've put you first. You were the most important person to me and I should've shown it.I'm writing this with so much sorrow in my heart because I've been utterly betrayed, by the people I'd thought had my back. Because of that, I've had to do some things you wouldn't be very proud of, things that have either gotten me in trouble with the law or got me killed. But I would've done that and more to make sure you're safe.I put my trust in people I thought were my family when I should've considered you family to start with. You were the only person who truly cared about me, you were the only one who loved me. I'm so sorry I didn't realize that sooner my love.It's too late now but for what it's worth, I wish for you to know that I was wor
The One He Never Put First. Greater good.
"Oh don't act all mighty, you never liked her. You just acted like you did so he doesn't get rid of you.""Excuse me? We were friends. She trusted me.""Oh yeah but I bet you wanted to take her place so bad, didn't you? She was a constant and painful reminder that you lost it all. That he was finally over you and you would never get that perfect life back. You cheated on him and you wish you could take it back.""Shut up! Shut the hell up, you don't know what you're saying."Britney heard herself shouting at the girl who stood in front of her. She was not one to lose her cool but she hated how the girl always ensued the worst out of her.Yes she'd always regretted cheating on Aaron but she'd long gotten over that. It was a long time ago, he'd since gotten married plenty of times."I gave up on any kind of future with him when he'd gotten married the first time. You're just looking for drama where it doesn't exist.""Oh but does it not? Sweet little Britney... Everyone's best friend. I
The One He Never Put First. Bad deeds.
"What did you do?"He felt his heart beating a mile a minute. Somehow he knew what he'd done but he'd hoped otherwise."Boss, you know this was for the best. It needed to happen."He had to be dreaming, there was no way it was real."Mike...""They've done nothing but cause you pain and heartache...""Mike... no..."He was not one to cry but the tears had taken on their own life because they'd started pouring out without his permission.Words failed him as he looked at the man he'd trusted with his own life."Get them to talk, that's all I said."He'd heard himself say barely audible. His chest was weighing heavy on his heart, he couldn't breathe."I'm not the enemy here boss. They've done nothing but...""That doesn't mean they deserve to die!" His calm betrayed him, he felt himself shake as the words left his lips.Who was he to decide their fate? That was exactly the reason he'd always kept a distance when it came to the people who'd worked for him, he'd always remained stern becau
The One He Never Put First. Broken walls.
"Gosh, I love it here."It was the lake, the trees, the breeze. But it was mostly the fact that they were alone that made her love it so much. It was peaceful."Yea."Kayla agreed as she closed her eyes feeling the wind blow against her skin softly. She'd missed such simple things in life."So...""So...""How's everything going with you-know-who? I've barely seen you the past couple of days."Elisa asked ensuing a blush from the other girl.Their friendship had transcended through the weeks and they'd somehow become closer each day."Well, nothing's official yet. I like him but I'm taking things really slow. I don't wanna jump into anything too quickly y'know?"The truth was that she was afraid. She'd done the whole falling in love thing and it didn't quite work out for her."It's been months Kay, the man clearly likes you."It was true and she knew it.He'd planned to stay for the Christmas holidays but decided he'd stay around a bit longer to help out his mother. Kayla knew he'd pa
The One He Never Put First. Complicated.
*Flashback*"What do they have on her?""Uhm... Mr. Miller. Maybe let's not get too focused on the details. It...""What do they have on her?!!"They knew he was the wrong person to play that game with. He'd always preferred people to be straight up with him, no beating around the bush."Uh...""Talk Brandon! Use your words!""Fingerprints! They found her fingerprints on the door handle."Aaron felt his world shatter as the words of the man who stood in front of him registered. It can't have been, his ears must've been playing tricks on him."They think it was when she went inside to take her belongings after the accident. They claim she didn't want her to be found so she Jane Doe'd her.""Sir, they're making it look like she wanted to kill her because of jealousy. It would be a miracle if we won the case...""Shut up! Shut the hell up!"He knew that and he needn't have said it. They'd had so much evidence against them and there was no way the verdict was going to go in their favor.
The One He Never Put First. Beautiful ruin.
He didn't care anymore, he didn't want to know who exactly was at fault. The simple fact that they'd even thought to harm his wife and his little boy who was now in heaven was reason enough. Aaron had never felt so much rage in his life. The people whom he would've given anything for, the people he'd thought cared for him, how could they?"Aaron please...""Aaron no.""Aaron!"He'd ignored their cries. He was tired and his heart hurt so much it felt numb."Do it."He'd simply said to his ally then turned around to leave ignoring their cries getting louder.----"She's having a baby.""What?""I said!! She's having a baby! She's damn pregnant!""Shit... that means.""Everything will be ruined. Yes!"That had been the worst thing that could have ever happened. It was bad enough that the man had changed so much because of his wife, now she was pregnant. They knew that would change everything.They never had to worry about much before as they knew the man didn't have a biological child th
The One He Never Put First. Letting go.
*Flashback*Third time wasn't the charm so the fourth time had to be right? Well that was what he'd told himself. He was never one to give up so he wasn't going to do that. He was going to keep trying.Besides, Sandra was great. She was nothing like the others. She was confident, she knew what she wanted and wasn't afraid to go for it. She was sassy and took no nonsense. He'd be lying if he'd said he hadn't found that attractive. Not to mention she was easy on the eye too.She'd had striking features that made you do a double take. When she walked into a room people stopped what they were doing to simply admire her beauty and the way she walked like the world was her platform. He couldn't help but feel attracted to her energy, her aura. She was the kind of woman you'd want to have by your side.So,"How hasn't anyone swept you off your feet?"They'd been sitting having dinner at a very fine restaurant she'd strongly recommended. He would've taken her anywhere. It was beyond him how s
The One He Never Put First. Humble beginnings.
"How old were you?""16 when I met him but we didn't do anything until I was 18.""Did he Uhm... force y...""No no, not at all. If anything I practically begged him." She'd said remembering the day like it was yesterday.'Please. I can't take it anymore. Please Aaron.' She'd practically cried. She knew he wanted her just as much as she wanted him. She couldn't take the waiting anymore, the sexual tension drove her mad.It had taken him a while but eventually, he'd given in."Oh. How old was he?""He was 35 when we met."The questions were getting a bit too judgmental but she'd understood why he was asking them. She probably would've too.Their relationship had been frowned upon pretty much since they'd met and at some point, they'd gotten used to it, It didn't phase them anymore.And as much as Kayla was over her soon-to-be ex-husband, she never wanted anyone to think he forced her into anything. The relationship was consensual on both sides. He never took advantage of her."But was
