DEVAN A MONTH BEFORE THE ACCIDENT... Black on white, and a red bow tie to match. It was Christmas again, and just like every other year, the whole family was here to celebrate it. However, Uncle Viktor's absence was greatly noted. He was the one who always one funny joke or a story to tell, but he wasn't here now. The last I had heard about him was that he had moved far away for holidays or vacation of some sort, after separating from his wife of a few months, over a cheating scandal. Heartbreaking, it was! And it didn't seem fair that he never got to enjoy his marriage as much as he should have. Howbeit, it was what it was, and there was nothing that could be done about it. "Pass me the sauce." Aunt Lisa ordered, as I obeyed without hesitation. I wasn't left with much of a choice though. Aunt Lisa, wasn't a friendly one, or someone who could be kept waiting. Her rage was always waiting to flare up into a wild engulfing fire. I passed the sauce to her
ELLEN The room was tense, and the silence that we shared was thick enough to be cut through with a knife. The four of us stood in that sitting room with eyes fixed on each other. We all wanted different things at that moment, but there was no way to satisfy each of us at the same time. We had our different ideologies on priorities, and it was beginning to play out. "Suzy has to be first on our list." Cole yelled, with a glass of wine in his hands. "And why is that? Because she's your wife?" Tommy fired, losing his patience already. "That's one reason, and the other is because you all got her into this mess. She was innocent, and had nothing to do with all of this, until you all came along." Big Joe scoffed, shaking his head slightly. "Now is not the time to apportion blames, Cole." He warned, but Cole being the insensitive, drunk fool that he was continued. "Why shouldn't we? After all, Ellen got her into this mess, so why can't she get her out?" He que
DEVAN THREE WEEKS BEFORE THE ACCIDENT... There were only two of us who didn't seem to be so normal, as opposed to what the world referred to as normal. Matt and I were those two people, and we weren't trying so hard to fit in anymore. Over the months we had gotten closer, so close that Mum felt threatened by it. I could do nothing but see how incapacitated she felt seeing us together. Sad, of course! Yet, slowly, and with the passing of time, her one time favourite child, had cut himself from her, and you could tell that she wasn't so happy about it. I could see her force a smile on each time she saw the both of us together. And, oh dear! How much joy I had just seeing her screech in agony, or yell unnecessarily. It was worth it. I had finally managed to make things the right way. This was how it was all meant to be from the beginning, before Mum had played the favouritism card on us. "Sit still," I ordered, as Matt repositioned himself in his seat.
ELLEN Screeching tires, and an old truck atop it. We were all seated in the truck as we sought after what we hoped was real; Robb's existence. It was still confusing, or rather unclear on how Robb had managed to remain alive, after Devan had claimed that he had been thrown down the window by Cullen. We were all quiet, including Lousy Cole who always had something to say. I handed quickly at him, as he was sat in his seat probably ruminating on what we were about doing. "There's still time to go back, if you are afraid, Cole." I taunted, as he turned sharply towards me, with a stare that pierced through my entire frame. "I'm not going to chicken out, I promise you." He promised, forcing a smile to his face. "Come on, Ellen. Don't taunt poor Cole. You're going to make him scared now." Tommy joked over the steering wheel, as we both burst out laughing. Cole hissed loudly, and turned away mumbling some inaudible words to himself. Nothing gave me as much joy,
BIG JOE Bloody Devan! That name seemed to have remained stuck in my memory, and right now, I couldn't take it out anymore. Who was Devan, and what connection did he have with all of these crappy storylines. "Why don't you two head on, Joe and I would keep watch, besides the both of you seem like a pair." Cole informed as my eyes widened in shock. What was he saying? I found myself wondering. "That would be fine." Ellen agreed, as Tommy hurried after her. "Keep watch? Nice one, Cole. We should be in there searching for Robb, or whatever his name is and not standing here." I fired immediately they were out of earshot. "Oh, come on. I was only trying to save your ass." Cole reprimanded. "What are you talking about?" I quizzed, perturbed by what he had just said. "You don't see it, do you?" He chided mockingly, as I rolled my eyes in exhaustion. For heaven's sake! The suspense was killing me. "See what, Cole? I don't understand what you're talking a
DEVAN TWO WEEKS BEFORE THE ACCIDENT It was immiscible; I mean, the lies from the truth? It just didn't match. Nothing seemed to make any sense around here anymore. It was all just some kind of soap opera playing out, right before our eyes. Mum's eyes never seemed to get wearued, as they followed me around the whole house in the most uneasy manner that I had ever been subjected to. Robb was beside the grill, keeping a watchful eye on Dad, just as Mum had urged him to. In case Dad got too drunk again to tend to the barbecue, just as he had done the previous week. Matt was unusually quiet this morning, and it was noticeable. Matter of factly, we didn't seem like a regular family anymore, it was all just some kind of play, and of course, drama. "Get some clothes on, Matt. Your skin's doesn't look so good when the sun hits it." Mum advised, but Matt barely moved an inch, as he chose to focus on the book he was scanning through. I was nervous at his erratic
ELLEN You could call it fear, or whatever you might. However, it did feel like I had a thousands spiders climbing up my spine. Although, it was really surprising how I had managed to maintain my sanity for this long. Robb was crazy, and didn't seem to make any sense at all. I listened to him rant, and ramble, beating about the bush, without hitting the nail on the head, and my head spiralled. "Are you with us, Ellen? You don't look too well." Tommy chimed, awakening me to reality. "Of c-course I am." I stuttered, blinking my eyes rapidly, to prevent me from zoning out again. Robb's gaze seemed to remain fixed on me without a plain cause. I tried to act as normal as I could, but my palms were beginning to sweat, and I could barely feel my legs anymore. "You don't look alright, Miss Ellen." Robb stated. "I promise you, Robb. I'm very much alright. I just need a little air." I stated. "Then come along, let's go for a walk." Robb offered, dragging me al
DEVAN THE DAY OF THE ACCIDENT... Matt was definitely crazy! The day had barely broken when Matt had snuck into my room, and disrupting a very peaceful sleep that I had been having at the time. I was pissed, angry, and mad at him for not waiting until the sunlight, before discussing anything with me. But, he had insisted, and now here we were, seated on the opposite sides of the bed, waiting on each other to break the silence. He had an envelope in his hands, and I wondered what this was about. Hopefully, it was about his academics. Matt had been lacking severely in that area, and his grades were beginning to take the fall. Each time I broached the topic to him, I was always met with a strong rebuff, that most times had me scuttling back to my seat regretfully. Matt was the complete opposite of me. He possessed the attributes that I lacked, although he hadn't realised this at the time, but I knew this was true. Where he was strong-willed, I didn't thi
ELLEN The ceiling fan whirred softly, barely producing enough air to reduce the heat that enveloped the room. I turned around, trying to find a better position that suited me. BJ's snores took a higher tempo, and I could tell that he was fast asleep now. I turned to my side on the bed, again, grunting and grumbling, as the heat refused to subside. Exhaustion took the better part of me, and I forced myself to a sitting position. What had I expected from a motel as this one. This was the cheapest one I had been able to find. In fact, this was the only place I had been able to afford. Suzy wasn't back to the room yet. She had stepped out to take a call about an hour ago, and hadn't returned since then. I wondered what was taking her time. I stretched out on the bed, and stood to my feet, yawning tiredly. I couldn't sleep, and no matter what I tried, the sleep refused to come. "Ellen?" Suzy called, pushing the door opened, as she stepped in. I stood fac
DEVAN Regrets, and making bad choices went hand in hand. The house hadn't been the same since Mum had realised what she had done. She had suddenly withdrawn into her shell, barely speaking out anymore. I could barely imagine the amount of disappointment she felt at that point, but I wasn't ready to ease her agony so quickly. School was were I buried myself in now, mostly to keep myself busy, and keep the crazy thoughts away. It wasn't going to be the same anymore. Mum sat by the window side, staring blankly through the window, with a steaming hot cup of coffee in her hand. Each time I looked at her, I knew I had to help her, but it was going to be difficult. She always had a hand in everything that went wrong at home. What was a little pain compared to the series of insults that I had been forced to go through in her hands. I held unto the sides of the wheelchair I was seated in, and slowly forced an exhale out. "I see you, Devan." She said, breaking t
ELLEN A loud, startling knock on the door, flung me off the bed in trepidation. I glanced quickly at my feet, and hissed lightly. My shoes were still on, I hadn't taken them off after getting into the room. I sat at the edge of the bed, and began to pull at them, when the knock came again. I took my shoes hastily, and stared blankly at the wall clock. The time read two A.M. However, the time hadn't served as enough deterrent to whoever was banging on my door. Maybe I shouldn't have rented a room at this motel, I should probably have gone for another one. A safer one, perhaps. A thousand and one thoughts ran through my head, as I held my shoe up in my left hand, just in case there was a need for it, and began to move towards the door. Was there a possibility that Devan and Robb had managed to find me so quickly? I couldn't tell, until I opened the damned door. "Who's at the door?" I quizzed, with shaky hands, and a shoe in it. The silence was enough
DEVAN I could almost swear that she had noticed that our gazes were fixed on her, yet, she busied herself about the room, as if she didn't care. My heart ached to ask her all the crazy questions that burned at my heart. Why was she doing this? I heard Dad say something loudly, but we were all too preoccupied to even care at the moment. Mum began humming a song, as she went about her duties. I didn't know what to feel at that moment, anger, or resentment that she had only noticed me, after Matt's death. "Ms Barker, could I please get something to eat? It was a long walk from school." Sam pleaded, as Mum beamed a wide smile at him. "Of course, Sammy Boy. You're always welcome here. What would like me to get you?" She quizzed, scratching at her elbows agitatedly. Sam's fingers flew to his head, for a brief moment, as if trying to come up with something, and then thy dropped to his side again weakly. "Anything is fine, ma'am. I wouldn't want to be so much o
ELLEN My eyes opened as Robb brought the car to a halt. I exhaled deeply, excited all over again. I was finally home, and although I didn't know where my home was yet though,but I was excited. "You look happy." Robb commented, as the engine died down. I nodded, and beamed a smile at him. "Well, I should be. I was away for too long." He chuckled lightly, and stared at me with a confusing gaze. "You think so? Things aren't the same as you left them." "Oh, come on, Robb. Everything's just fine." "No, it isn't!" He snapped, slamming his hands against the steering wheel. I was taken aback by his reaction. I lifted my hand gently, and rested it on his arm, as he sighed. "What's going on, Robb? Tell me." "Ellen..." He began swallowing deeply. "There's something I should have told you before, but I couldn't bring myself to do it." "What are you talking about, Robb? Spill it already." "It's not good, I promise ." I faked a smile, and patted his a
DEVAN Time they say, had a way of doing things to you, changing you, breaking you, or making you. In all of these processes, you were considered as a chief factor, and I was in this one, somehow. Mornings were usually the busiest, school work, and having to endure the taunting and long stares from everyone at school. Not like I cared much though, but driving through the school halls always had a way of reminding me of a life I had once lived, in fear and in the shadows. That life was due for a change. Maybe, it was time I did something really meaningful with my life. I didn't know what it was then, but I was getting there. It was only going to take a short while now. I tapped my hands gently against the wheelchair, as I drove through the halls receiving the usual whispers, and hushed talks from the bunch of students around the hallway. Exhaustion got the better of me, as I shook my head slightly in pity. "You don't look so good, Devan." A voice said behind m
ELLEN Cups of coffee sat on the table between us, and the rising sun behind us. I was clearly exhausted, and how much I ached to free myself from Cullen's piercing eyes. He was quiet, and a little distant than I had known him to be. With eyes fixed on me, watching every move, and every gesture that I made. I didn't know what to do, or think. I mean, after all the time I had spent rehearsing, and coming up with words to say to him, when I finally got the chance to, yet here I was, as mute and silent as a lamb. "What's in your mind?" He quizzed, staring intently into my face. I shook my head slightly, regaining myself. "Nothing," I said hurriedly. "I mean, you're the one who's been withdrawn. You weren't like this the last time I saw you. What's happened to you?" He chuckled softly, and sipped at his coffee. "I'm the same person, Ellen. You just didn't know this part of me." I nodded in pretense. And of course, I didn't understand a word he had uttered.
DEVAN Somehow, all of this still seemed pretty new to me. I had my memory back, and honestly, I had never felt as alive, as I did right now. I rode my wheelchair around the house in impatience, I was alone at home. Robb hadn't returned since he left, and now Mum also was taking too much time at the hospital. It had been a long while since I had been at the house, it seemed different from the last time. Probably because I had my legs then? Sad. A car honk blared loudly, and I drove to the window hurriedly. And just as I expected, it was Mum helping Dad out of the car. Matt's death had tightened the cords that held us as a family. Maybe that was what we had ended? A little it of something macabre? I shook my head hastily to clear it of the thoughts that filled it. Mum was at the door now with Dad. I didn't know what to do, I just sat there waiting for the door to be pushed open. In a moment, Mum stepped into the house, and Dad began turning his head around hu
ELLEN I clearly didn't look forward to the break of day. I knew what Suzy was going to do, but still, I wasn't ready to succumb to her demand. It had been a long night, and as far as I could remember, I had barely blinked an eye. Suzy had barely slept also, as I had felt her toss from side to side on the bed next to me. She wanted to get her life back, and I wanted mine also. And there was no possible way I was going to sacrifice living the very life I had fantasized about living, just because she needed my help. That wasn't fair to me. That morning, I had gone about my regular business just like the previous night, and from what I could tell, Suzy wasn't interested in me, just as I wasn't also. I mean, we were both so different, but yet, there was this kind of connection that I felt like we both shared unknowingly. I was bent over a bag, as I arranged a few stuff I had left into it. Big Joe hadn't even been kind enough to let me come back to the house to