DEVAN Envy, hate, and rage gnawed at the insides of my visceral. I doubted if I was capable of containing it any longer than I had already done. Seating there in the cold street that night, I felt my heart thudding as I watched the couple that stood just outside the door of Sweet Raymond's store. I felt hurt, broken and betrayed. Cullen had found a way to win her heart when I couldn't. A sad love story it was. I dug my hand into Robb's jacket that I had on, and I felt something. I pulled it out, and sighed. It was a cigarette stick. Robb always knew his way around things, even in his absence he always knew how to lure me into things I had no interest in. I watched Cullen wrap his arm around Miss Ellen, and I knew I couldn't pretend no more. I dug my hand into the pocket on the other side of the jacket. There had to be a lighter somewhere. I was right. I pulled the lighter out, and lit the end of the cigarette. Without stopping to consider what I was about
DEVAN The news of the fire incident had circulated around the whole school by the next day. I was terrified to my bones, after hearing that Mr. Cullen had been a victim of the fire. He hadn't been in the car when Sam had set the car ablaze. So, how had he managed to end up in the car? Only Sam could provide answers, but just when he was needed, he was absent. The whole school was rowdy as always, but today was different. Everyone had one news of the fire incident or the other. Some said Mr. Cullen hadn't survived the incident, and others refuted that argument. I was cold inside. I dreaded seeing Miss Ellen that day. How could I face her when I had done that to her? I could only hope Mr. Cullen had survived the incident. He had to. If perchance he didn't make it out alive, investigations were going to kick in, and soon enough Sam was going to be found out. I didn't want Sam to get caught yet. I had great plans for him. He was still of much use to me. Now, wi
ELLEN The scent of flowers, and the stench of antiseptics weren't an excellent combo. However, here I was with a bouquet of flowers, a get well card, and the smell of antiseptics choking life out of me. I glanced at my wrist watch, and coincidentally he walked through the door. He glanced around briefly in search of me, but I didn't wave or call out to him, I just watched and waited until he found me. "What took you so long?" I asked upon his arrival. He was dashing as always, with dark shades on, which I deemed totally unnecessary as regards to this kind of event. He was sexier than I had cared to notice. "I'm sorry, Ellen." He mumbled, and brushed his head slightly. The gods be damned! He had even made the extra effort to style his hair. Little wonder he hadn't cared about how long I had been seated on that damned hospital seat, expecting his arrival. "Did you bring flowers?" I quizzed, expecting a negative reply. "Well, yes I did." He rep
DEVAN 'A Dog on a leash!' Those very words still found a way to haunt me, even without the presence of its owner. Ellen had found a way to mock me even in her absence. It was clear that I needed to do something about Blue, before anyone else found out. And maybe find Sam along the way, if I was lucky enough. I wasn't always lucky anyways. I opened the door to Robb's room, and there he was with reddened eyes that never seemed to close. "You should be asleep." I noted. He raised his eyebrow, and chuckled. "You should be asleep, Devan." I closed the door as quietly as I could, and strolled towards him. "Well, I do need your help." His eyes widened as he drew closer. "You can't sleep? Don't worry, I've got the best stuffs for you." He promised ransacking his pockets, with a chuckle. "I didn't come here to talk about your stuffs at this time of the night, Robbie." His countenance fell immediately. "What do you want then? I've got nothing else to
ELLEN I woke up with a fix. I was naked, and in another bed that was entirely different from the one I had slept in the previous night. I was startled, and wasn't comprehending how I had ended up here. Something was totally off, and I wasn't liking it any bit. I stood to my feet, and headed towards the door. Had I gotten myself drunk the previous night? I couldn't tell. I pushed the door weakly, but it didn't budge. It was stiff. Someone had locked the door from outside. I heard footsteps approaching the door, and I retreated. Maybe I should have hidden myself, but there was no where to hide. It was just an empty room with a huge bed at the middle. The sound of keys rattling resounded, and I saw the door knob turn, and he walked in. Bloody Zach! "Are you awake, Baby?" He quizzed with a smirk. My eyes widened in confusion. This didn't seem right. It had all shades of perplexity clearly written on it, and I was perturbed. "What's going on, Zach?
DEVAN It was the wee hours of the hours of the morning when I stole quietly to the sitting room with nothing but my backpack. I had to leave before Robb or Mum awakened. Mum had vehemently kicked against the idea of me going for the school trip, but I was having none of that. I tiptoed quietly through the sitting room with hopes of not awakening anyone. Mum was seated on the chair, snoring deeply, and a bottle of empty whiskey on her laps. Robb had done that to her. I inserted the key into the keyhole, and turned it in the reverse. I was a few steps away from victory. I turned the door knob, and stepped outside. The cold was biting. I held my arms tightly together, and rubbed them. I should have taken a sweatshirt along, but I hadn't. I could go back inside to get one, but I couldn't risk it. It was too risky, I could be caught. "You need a ride?" Mum quizzed behind me. I froze in shock, and turned around to face her. She was covered with a blanket, and
ELLEN Nothing seemed to amuse me anymore, except this promotion I was pinning for. I wasn't interested in going on this trip without Cullen anymore. I had wanted to go along with him, and had even considered having an affair with him, if he had asked me to. Seven hells! That would have been crazy. It would have been a wild ride. I could almost feel him inside of me already. I wanted that, but that couldn't happen anymore. Cullen wasn't here, and I was stuck here in this bus with students chattering unnecessarily, and a few other teachers who hadn't deemed me fit to welcome into their flock. Little wonder, I had grown so attached to Cullen. I had no one else who was ready to talk with me, or listen to me. Not even Zach. I plugged my earpiece in, and tried to shut my thoughts out. Perhaps, I should have listened to Zach. It was suddenly beginning to seem like he had been right all along. I should have listened and stayed back. Maybe, I would have
DEVAN Principal Walter was the Devil himself. Mean, authoritative, and evil to the core, just as I had known all along. A menace he was. My back was sore, and it ached to be relieved of the day's stress. But, sadly Principal Walter hadn't granted me that opportunity yet, as he ordered me around his bed space, while he lingered on the bed with a blanket to his chest, and a newspaper article in his hand. Son of a cursed woman that he was! I looked out of the window, and could see the rest of my mates clearly enjoying themselves, but here I was having the worst experience of my life. "There's a party holding tonight." I announced, as I arranged the last of his clothes into a shelf. Principal Walter barely glanced up at me, as he nodded briefly, and returned to reading his article. "So...?" I began. "So what, Barker?" He questioned, readjusting his glasses to sit perfectly on his nose. "Once I'm done with this, could I leave? I mean everyone has ta
ELLEN The ceiling fan whirred softly, barely producing enough air to reduce the heat that enveloped the room. I turned around, trying to find a better position that suited me. BJ's snores took a higher tempo, and I could tell that he was fast asleep now. I turned to my side on the bed, again, grunting and grumbling, as the heat refused to subside. Exhaustion took the better part of me, and I forced myself to a sitting position. What had I expected from a motel as this one. This was the cheapest one I had been able to find. In fact, this was the only place I had been able to afford. Suzy wasn't back to the room yet. She had stepped out to take a call about an hour ago, and hadn't returned since then. I wondered what was taking her time. I stretched out on the bed, and stood to my feet, yawning tiredly. I couldn't sleep, and no matter what I tried, the sleep refused to come. "Ellen?" Suzy called, pushing the door opened, as she stepped in. I stood fac
DEVAN Regrets, and making bad choices went hand in hand. The house hadn't been the same since Mum had realised what she had done. She had suddenly withdrawn into her shell, barely speaking out anymore. I could barely imagine the amount of disappointment she felt at that point, but I wasn't ready to ease her agony so quickly. School was were I buried myself in now, mostly to keep myself busy, and keep the crazy thoughts away. It wasn't going to be the same anymore. Mum sat by the window side, staring blankly through the window, with a steaming hot cup of coffee in her hand. Each time I looked at her, I knew I had to help her, but it was going to be difficult. She always had a hand in everything that went wrong at home. What was a little pain compared to the series of insults that I had been forced to go through in her hands. I held unto the sides of the wheelchair I was seated in, and slowly forced an exhale out. "I see you, Devan." She said, breaking t
ELLEN A loud, startling knock on the door, flung me off the bed in trepidation. I glanced quickly at my feet, and hissed lightly. My shoes were still on, I hadn't taken them off after getting into the room. I sat at the edge of the bed, and began to pull at them, when the knock came again. I took my shoes hastily, and stared blankly at the wall clock. The time read two A.M. However, the time hadn't served as enough deterrent to whoever was banging on my door. Maybe I shouldn't have rented a room at this motel, I should probably have gone for another one. A safer one, perhaps. A thousand and one thoughts ran through my head, as I held my shoe up in my left hand, just in case there was a need for it, and began to move towards the door. Was there a possibility that Devan and Robb had managed to find me so quickly? I couldn't tell, until I opened the damned door. "Who's at the door?" I quizzed, with shaky hands, and a shoe in it. The silence was enough
DEVAN I could almost swear that she had noticed that our gazes were fixed on her, yet, she busied herself about the room, as if she didn't care. My heart ached to ask her all the crazy questions that burned at my heart. Why was she doing this? I heard Dad say something loudly, but we were all too preoccupied to even care at the moment. Mum began humming a song, as she went about her duties. I didn't know what to feel at that moment, anger, or resentment that she had only noticed me, after Matt's death. "Ms Barker, could I please get something to eat? It was a long walk from school." Sam pleaded, as Mum beamed a wide smile at him. "Of course, Sammy Boy. You're always welcome here. What would like me to get you?" She quizzed, scratching at her elbows agitatedly. Sam's fingers flew to his head, for a brief moment, as if trying to come up with something, and then thy dropped to his side again weakly. "Anything is fine, ma'am. I wouldn't want to be so much o
ELLEN My eyes opened as Robb brought the car to a halt. I exhaled deeply, excited all over again. I was finally home, and although I didn't know where my home was yet though,but I was excited. "You look happy." Robb commented, as the engine died down. I nodded, and beamed a smile at him. "Well, I should be. I was away for too long." He chuckled lightly, and stared at me with a confusing gaze. "You think so? Things aren't the same as you left them." "Oh, come on, Robb. Everything's just fine." "No, it isn't!" He snapped, slamming his hands against the steering wheel. I was taken aback by his reaction. I lifted my hand gently, and rested it on his arm, as he sighed. "What's going on, Robb? Tell me." "Ellen..." He began swallowing deeply. "There's something I should have told you before, but I couldn't bring myself to do it." "What are you talking about, Robb? Spill it already." "It's not good, I promise ." I faked a smile, and patted his a
DEVAN Time they say, had a way of doing things to you, changing you, breaking you, or making you. In all of these processes, you were considered as a chief factor, and I was in this one, somehow. Mornings were usually the busiest, school work, and having to endure the taunting and long stares from everyone at school. Not like I cared much though, but driving through the school halls always had a way of reminding me of a life I had once lived, in fear and in the shadows. That life was due for a change. Maybe, it was time I did something really meaningful with my life. I didn't know what it was then, but I was getting there. It was only going to take a short while now. I tapped my hands gently against the wheelchair, as I drove through the halls receiving the usual whispers, and hushed talks from the bunch of students around the hallway. Exhaustion got the better of me, as I shook my head slightly in pity. "You don't look so good, Devan." A voice said behind m
ELLEN Cups of coffee sat on the table between us, and the rising sun behind us. I was clearly exhausted, and how much I ached to free myself from Cullen's piercing eyes. He was quiet, and a little distant than I had known him to be. With eyes fixed on me, watching every move, and every gesture that I made. I didn't know what to do, or think. I mean, after all the time I had spent rehearsing, and coming up with words to say to him, when I finally got the chance to, yet here I was, as mute and silent as a lamb. "What's in your mind?" He quizzed, staring intently into my face. I shook my head slightly, regaining myself. "Nothing," I said hurriedly. "I mean, you're the one who's been withdrawn. You weren't like this the last time I saw you. What's happened to you?" He chuckled softly, and sipped at his coffee. "I'm the same person, Ellen. You just didn't know this part of me." I nodded in pretense. And of course, I didn't understand a word he had uttered.
DEVAN Somehow, all of this still seemed pretty new to me. I had my memory back, and honestly, I had never felt as alive, as I did right now. I rode my wheelchair around the house in impatience, I was alone at home. Robb hadn't returned since he left, and now Mum also was taking too much time at the hospital. It had been a long while since I had been at the house, it seemed different from the last time. Probably because I had my legs then? Sad. A car honk blared loudly, and I drove to the window hurriedly. And just as I expected, it was Mum helping Dad out of the car. Matt's death had tightened the cords that held us as a family. Maybe that was what we had ended? A little it of something macabre? I shook my head hastily to clear it of the thoughts that filled it. Mum was at the door now with Dad. I didn't know what to do, I just sat there waiting for the door to be pushed open. In a moment, Mum stepped into the house, and Dad began turning his head around hu
ELLEN I clearly didn't look forward to the break of day. I knew what Suzy was going to do, but still, I wasn't ready to succumb to her demand. It had been a long night, and as far as I could remember, I had barely blinked an eye. Suzy had barely slept also, as I had felt her toss from side to side on the bed next to me. She wanted to get her life back, and I wanted mine also. And there was no possible way I was going to sacrifice living the very life I had fantasized about living, just because she needed my help. That wasn't fair to me. That morning, I had gone about my regular business just like the previous night, and from what I could tell, Suzy wasn't interested in me, just as I wasn't also. I mean, we were both so different, but yet, there was this kind of connection that I felt like we both shared unknowingly. I was bent over a bag, as I arranged a few stuff I had left into it. Big Joe hadn't even been kind enough to let me come back to the house to