What Ifs

The kids weren't awake even an hour after she arrived. She had been seated on the small couch next to the wall and waited, alone. Ivailo didn't give her so much of a glance when he left her there to her own devices and went upstairs. She was grateful that he left her alone though. His presence was too much to handle. She hadn't gotten used to such pressure yet. His authoritative demeanour didn't sit right with her. It made her skin crawl and she couldn't help closing up in front of him.

He made her feel restless, like a secretary at the mercy of her boss's tyranny. Ollie would never get used to it. She didn't want to get used to it. She had started looking over the files for some minutes now, to distract and remind herself of the children's names. She scanned them for the hundredth time.

"Edil, Lilac and Nile Bridge," She muttered underneath her breath as she skipped through each individual slowly. The boys were twins and the girl was the oldest of the three. Not many details were laid out here, just their pictures attached to their names, ages and the fact that they were orphans.

Ollie really didn't know what she was getting herself into when she jumped at this mindless opportunity. Werewolves weren't easy to handle if Ivailo was any evidence of that. Why did she think their children would be easier? Ollie had felt pity crawl into her gut when she realized they were orphans but when she learnt of how they became orphans, dismay replaced it.

Their parents were killed by humans.

To say, Ollie wasn't stunned or surprised. She knew what her kind was capable of when they felt fear for the unknown. Even though it was glaringly obvious, werewolves had no plans to intervene or overthrow human society, there were always people with what-ifs. Ollie had been one of those people, scared of what she didn't know. That fear could turn into violence, an act to protect oneself but, against what? What was the actual danger?

Would these kids really listen to her? Believe a word she says? 

Ollie knew deep down she took up a mountain on her head and it might crush her if she couldn't hold it up. Her reasons for doing so weren't noble either. It was all for money. She was horribly human and that scared her even more than anything else. How would she be able to prove that her species weren't all bad? What could she ever say to turn that around?

This werewolf-human integrating program was all but a farce. She could see that from a mile away. It was a crappy plan the government came up with to keep the werewolves in check, to gloss over their mistakes instead of apologizing for them because of fear of retaliation from their horrible decisions when they didn't think twice about making them. 

"Do you want some water?" 

The voice snapped her out of her trance and she looked up into shining green eyes. A short girl stood in front of her with her dark hair skillfully done in twin pigtails. She blinked at Ollie with a nonchalant stare. Her hands were pushed into her blue sweater pockets. 

Lilac Bridge.

Ollie recognized her right away. The oldest of the three. She was fifteen at most but she looked younger for some reason. Ollie was once again staring and forgot she had been asked a question. She really needed to get rid of this habit. She smiled putting all her effort into being likeable. She could do this. Human or not, a good person was a good person.

"I would like that...Lilac right?" Ollie responded slowly standing up and placing her files on the table in front of her. She towered over the girl a little. She reached her stomach at most and Ollie wasn't considered tall by any means. Lilac nodded.

"Yeah, okay then wait right here," Lilac responded and turned around to walk into the kitchen but Ollie reached out and stopped her by holding her shoulders. The touch was light and Ollie hoped it wasn't intrusive. The last thing she wanted to do was offend them. Lilac stopped and turned a questioning face to her. Ollie thought for a pre-teen, Lilac was already immensely beautiful. She looked delicate, like a carefully crafted porcelain glass doll.  She reminded Ollie of Ivailo at this moment, with his deliberately carved handsome features that were just ethereal. Werewolves seemed to be blessed by the gods with peerless beauty. 

"I'm Ollie," She introduced herself by placing her hand on her chest. She was aware of how awkward this felt but she didn't know how to approach these kids. The game plan she had in her head was already diffused by that wolf, absolutely shattered it. Lilac stared at her and turned around fully.

"Look, I'm not going to eat you," She said moving her eyes down to Ollie's feet then back up to her face.

"You may not know but werewolves can smell anything Ollie. I can smell your fear,"

Lilac smiled like she was mocking Ollie with that sentence. Ollie was stunned by that notion. Was that the reason why Ivailo called her weak? because he could smell the anxiety in her bones? She felt a blush creep up to her cheeks. She didn't want to admit she was severely ignorant about the werewolves species but knowing they could smell emotions wasn't nearly known as much, well to her. Ollie laughed nervously and dropped back into her seat. She diffused. She knew she wasn't cut out for this. Why was she trying so hard anyway?

"You're right. I have no idea what I'm doing at all," She chuckled and leaned back into the seat. Lilac leaned on the edge of the large sofa arm behind her. Ollie should have felt embarrassed for being called out by a fifteen-year-old but who the hell was she kidding really?

"Are you here to "help us mend into the human world?' " Lilac asked rolling her eyes at her own statement. Ollie laughed at the irony of the situation. It was a joke to even say that's what she came here for because her intentions were nowhere near noble. 

"Yeah, I guess. That was my job description,"

"It's total bullshit you know that right?" Lilac replied.

Ollie shifted her head to stare at the girl in front of her. She couldn't disagree with her words. It wasn't werewolves that needed to understand human beings in any way but it was humans who needed to understand werewolves but Ollie could see something else inside Lilac's eyes. Her face was devoid of emotion but that underlying scrutiny was there.

"Well, it's shrouded in biases by the human authorities but don't you think it's needed?"  Ollie stated. She smiled a small smile and leaned forward. Lilac didn't reply but laughed. 

"Why do we need to involve ourselves with you guys? How does that benefit us?" 

Lilac's eyes narrowed and her grip on the couch arm tightened. Ollie could see the conflict in her irises. They were cloudy with emotions. Anger. Anger at humans.  It was prevalent. Ollie felt something slither down her chest. She was jarringly right with her previous thoughts. This mountain was going to consume her whole being.

"You're right. This favours humanity more but just as we barely know anything of your species, wouldn't be worthwhile to learn about ours?"

"If that's what you really thought, you wouldn't be so scared now would you?"

That statement slammed into Ollie like a brick. What more was she supposed to say to that? It was the ultimate truth. She was scared, like her predecessors. The knowledge that these people could tear her into two without even breaking a sweat lingered at the back of her head but, she meant no harm. Just as Lilac, she thought this program was useless, but now, she could see, werewolves and humans had too many underlying biases, too many grudges because of their differences. She could teach them. She could show them. She knew she could.

And they could teach her too.