RenegadeI've been good. Since this started I've let her call the shots, let her decide what part I get to play, what she'll allow me to do. I've never been the type of person to just sit back and let others direct me in my personal life. Doing what I do for a job, I have to be able to take, execute, and adjust my orders. I don't like it so much when I'm cut off at the knees in my personal life. It hits me like a freight train, the need to show this woman what I want from her.Her finger nails are cutting into my flesh she's holding me so tightly. The weight of her body is leaning into me, and I'm taking it. I want to show her how much I support her, how invaluable I am when she needs someone to lean on. I'm not the kind of guy to run when things get tough. Never in my life have I backed away from a fight, whether it be between me and my dad, me and gunfire in the middle of the night, or me and a perp. Ryan Kepler hangs around and gets the job done, no matter how difficult it is.
Renegade"These are for you," I hand Whitney the flowers I brought over. I figured if we're going to do the dating thing, I might as well pull out all the stops. Even if I did get her flowers last night. Every woman deserves to be wooed, and I will totally woo the fuck outta her.She smiles as she dips her head down to inhale the scent permeating the plastic they're in. "You always get me the best smelling flowers.""I wanted to be sure you remember this occasion. It's our first date," I remind her, following her into her house.After being relegated to indoor dinners, I can't believe I finally got her to agree to appear in public with me. I'm happier about it than I probably should be, because it still doesn't mean anything in the grand scheme of things. She's still unsure of me, and I know that, but I'll prove to her I'm the real deal."I'm excited about our date," she says as she adds the flowers to the same vase with the ones from last night, before grabbing her purse and
Renegade"Fuck I feel like I'm about to serve a warrant," I tell Whitney as I listen to the caller giving us our letters and numbers. "My heart is going to beat out of my chest, I'm so close to a damn bingo."She laughs at my side. "It's addicting, isn't it?""Like fucking heroin," I agree as I hear the next spot we can mark. Damnit, it's not the one I need."This is seriously what got me into it," she admits. "I won once and then I wanted to win again and again. So I just kept coming back. At one point, I could play like ten cards at once.""No way," I take my eyes off my own cards for a split second. "How?""Obsession?" she shrugs. "You just learn to do it, and then you don't want to stop. I'm not saying this is the best thing for someone with an addictive personality, but it's fun for a while."The caller calls out B-32 and holy shit. "Bingo! Bingo!" I yell to be heard above the loud room. Holding my hand up."Yes!" Whitney squeals next to me. "You did it!"We wait
Renegade"What's wrong?" I ask when I feel her turn over for maybe the hundredth time tonight. I'd thought being invited into her bed and sleeping here tonight would be a smooth ride, but she's probably traveled three miles in her quest for sleep."Can't sleep," she huffs, disentangling herself from me and pushing her pillow further up into the headboard. "No matter which way I lay, I can't get comfortable. Those chairs tonight were hard.""Isn't that supposed to happen later on in the pregnancy?" I drawl, trying to wake myself up to deal with her plight."I guess it can happen whenever because my hip is freakin' killing me, and now I can't go back to sleep."I know by the way she huffs again that this is going to be a long night. Forcing my eyes open, I focus on the clock at the bedside table. Two in the morning. If I can get her back to sleep within an hour, I can at least get four more before I have to be up and down at the station. "Would talking help you go to sleep?" I
Whitney"Do you like this color?" I hold up a piece of pale yellow fabric next to an off-white. "Does it wash this out?""I like them together, especially for a spring or early summer wedding. When is this one?" Addison asks, grabbing the appointment book from my table.We're in my kitchen today, working on some of the things we've unintentionally let pile up. I have a whole list I want to get through today, and Addison, bless her heart, brought me an iced decaf coffee from our local shop. We're checking stuff off our list like nobody's business. "I think it's in April of next year, but I'm meeting her next week to talk about color. I want to give her some options.""You're right, it is April. Ohhhh," she reaches over grabbing another piece of fabric. "What about the yellow and either a mint or a light blue? It's unusual, but it could be striking with the right back drop."I grab my notebook, jotting down notes. "I love that!""So what are your colors gonna be when you marr
Whitney"Are you nervous?"Ryan's quiet as he sits in the driver seat, navigating us along the back roads to my parents' house. They've lived in the split-level ranch home since I was ten years old and mom was pregnant with Trevor. Back when I was younger, mom had her own roadside vegetable stand, but she's given it up in the last few years. Now she caters for my company on occasion when I need her to. Nearing sixty, I hope dad's looking to retire, and I know mom's ready to buy a beach house along the gulf."You think I should be?" His tone is one of nonchalance, a man completely at ease with the choices he's made.I scoot closer, grabbing his free hand with my own, and hold it in my lap. There's just something I love when a truck has a bench seat. "Maybe. I mean, you did get me pregnant. Even if I am thirty-five, I'll always be his little girl. Isn't that what dads always say?"He looks my way, taking his gaze off the road for a split second, but I can't see his eyes behind
Renegade"Are you okay with not sitting with your family?" I take Whitney's hand in mine as we wait for the fireworks to start. We're sitting on the tailgate of my truck, in the back of the football field away from everyone, but still where we can be a part of the celebration.Around us families are eating leftover bar-b-que, kids are running around with sparklers, dogs are giving them chase, and parents are taking a few minutes to breathe, knowing this is a safe spot for those kids. Someone's set up a kiddie pool and slide to the left of us, and I laugh as I see Holden take his shirt off, taking a ride down the slip-n-slide. Something about the summer air and the Fourth of July makes everyone festive."Yeah, I think we both need to have our own separate conversations with Trevor, but tonight I'm not up for it."I can tell, she looks like she's wilting in the heat. "You look like you're about to fall over," I offer her the bottle of water I'm drinking."It's just been a long
RenegadeI'm sort of surprised when I show up at the station to get into our car the next morning and see Tank already there. I figured he'd call in or get someone to switch with him instead of being stuck with me for the day."Morning," I hand him the cup of coffee I always bring both of us.He grunts something to me that may be morning back, but I'm not sure. If this is any indication on how this ride is going to go, maybe I ought to turn around and go back home. For the first three hours, we ride in complete silence. When my cell phone chimes with a new text message, I'm excited that it gives me someone to talk to.W: Hey handsome! How's it going with my brother?R: We haven't said but two words to one another. He took my coffee though, so maybe it's a good sign? How are you today? You were sleeping hard when I left this morning.W: It's because someone wore me out last night.R: No, I'm pretty sure that was you humping my dick in the back of my truck, and then you giv