Renegade"It's been a slow fucking day," Tank yawns as the two of us sit in our patrol car, clocking speed on a side street off of a main thoroughfare. The town's had complaints about speeding being a problem in this residential area, but so far we've seen nothing.There's no lie in his statement. It's been one of the slowest days in recent memory for me. After the past week though I'm enjoying it. Every time I'm with him, I have a rush of guilt and I'm scared I'll blow the cover on the baby. This is one thing Whitney and I haven't really talked about, and I plan on bringing it up at our first dinner tonight.I smile slightly, thinking about the dinner we'll be having tonight. She said she'd like to cook on Tuesdays, leaving me with Thursdays. Off and on we've texted a little, trying to figure out if there's anything either of us absolutely hate, anything we both love. It's been mundane conversation, but to know I'm on her mind, even that way, is worth it."It has, I'm ready to
WhitneyI've been anxious since I heard his truck pull in the driveway. It's not overly loud, but loud enough. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have one of those annoying mufflers like Trevor put on his. Like all of the things they share in life, they both have a love for big trucks. Both blacked out with chrome, but Ryan's is lifted a little higher to accommodate his height. Trevor makes jokes about how Ryan has little man syndrome, but I know better. A flash of heat runs through my body as I think about his size. God, I miss the feeling he gave me as he thrust into me that night, the welcome weight of him laying on top of me, the way our eyes locked when he made me come. Damn, it's hot in here now.Fanning my hand in front of my face, I try to cool my wayward thoughts. This past week has been awful. If I didn't know better, I'd think I'm a teenage boy. After looking it up on the internet though, I know I'm good. This is completely normal, no matter how unnatural it feels.Putting my
WhitneyTuesday night has now become my favorite night of the week, followed by Thursday. For a month Ryan and I have been doing dinner. The first week was awkward, but now we've settled into a pattern. I cook on Tuesday and he cooks on Thursday. I try not look too deeply into why Tuesday is my favorite night, but I know it's because I get to take care of him.We've still managed to keep our secret, but it's not going to be much longer. The morning sickness has finally gone away and now I'm starting to gain weight. My clothes are fitting more tightly now that we're almost into the fourth month. We're going to need to start decorating a nursery and making plans soon. I'm a planner, obviously, and we both want to know the gender of the baby, can't even begin to tell you how excited I'm becoming about this new season of life.I check the clock on my SUV as I pull into the driveway. I have about forty-five minutes before Ryan gets here, which is nice, because that means I'll be able
RenegadeI've been good. Since this started I've let her call the shots, let her decide what part I get to play, what she'll allow me to do. I've never been the type of person to just sit back and let others direct me in my personal life. Doing what I do for a job, I have to be able to take, execute, and adjust my orders. I don't like it so much when I'm cut off at the knees in my personal life. It hits me like a freight train, the need to show this woman what I want from her.Her finger nails are cutting into my flesh she's holding me so tightly. The weight of her body is leaning into me, and I'm taking it. I want to show her how much I support her, how invaluable I am when she needs someone to lean on. I'm not the kind of guy to run when things get tough. Never in my life have I backed away from a fight, whether it be between me and my dad, me and gunfire in the middle of the night, or me and a perp. Ryan Kepler hangs around and gets the job done, no matter how difficult it is.
Renegade"These are for you," I hand Whitney the flowers I brought over. I figured if we're going to do the dating thing, I might as well pull out all the stops. Even if I did get her flowers last night. Every woman deserves to be wooed, and I will totally woo the fuck outta her.She smiles as she dips her head down to inhale the scent permeating the plastic they're in. "You always get me the best smelling flowers.""I wanted to be sure you remember this occasion. It's our first date," I remind her, following her into her house.After being relegated to indoor dinners, I can't believe I finally got her to agree to appear in public with me. I'm happier about it than I probably should be, because it still doesn't mean anything in the grand scheme of things. She's still unsure of me, and I know that, but I'll prove to her I'm the real deal."I'm excited about our date," she says as she adds the flowers to the same vase with the ones from last night, before grabbing her purse and
Renegade"Fuck I feel like I'm about to serve a warrant," I tell Whitney as I listen to the caller giving us our letters and numbers. "My heart is going to beat out of my chest, I'm so close to a damn bingo."She laughs at my side. "It's addicting, isn't it?""Like fucking heroin," I agree as I hear the next spot we can mark. Damnit, it's not the one I need."This is seriously what got me into it," she admits. "I won once and then I wanted to win again and again. So I just kept coming back. At one point, I could play like ten cards at once.""No way," I take my eyes off my own cards for a split second. "How?""Obsession?" she shrugs. "You just learn to do it, and then you don't want to stop. I'm not saying this is the best thing for someone with an addictive personality, but it's fun for a while."The caller calls out B-32 and holy shit. "Bingo! Bingo!" I yell to be heard above the loud room. Holding my hand up."Yes!" Whitney squeals next to me. "You did it!"We wait
Renegade"What's wrong?" I ask when I feel her turn over for maybe the hundredth time tonight. I'd thought being invited into her bed and sleeping here tonight would be a smooth ride, but she's probably traveled three miles in her quest for sleep."Can't sleep," she huffs, disentangling herself from me and pushing her pillow further up into the headboard. "No matter which way I lay, I can't get comfortable. Those chairs tonight were hard.""Isn't that supposed to happen later on in the pregnancy?" I drawl, trying to wake myself up to deal with her plight."I guess it can happen whenever because my hip is freakin' killing me, and now I can't go back to sleep."I know by the way she huffs again that this is going to be a long night. Forcing my eyes open, I focus on the clock at the bedside table. Two in the morning. If I can get her back to sleep within an hour, I can at least get four more before I have to be up and down at the station. "Would talking help you go to sleep?" I
Whitney"Do you like this color?" I hold up a piece of pale yellow fabric next to an off-white. "Does it wash this out?""I like them together, especially for a spring or early summer wedding. When is this one?" Addison asks, grabbing the appointment book from my table.We're in my kitchen today, working on some of the things we've unintentionally let pile up. I have a whole list I want to get through today, and Addison, bless her heart, brought me an iced decaf coffee from our local shop. We're checking stuff off our list like nobody's business. "I think it's in April of next year, but I'm meeting her next week to talk about color. I want to give her some options.""You're right, it is April. Ohhhh," she reaches over grabbing another piece of fabric. "What about the yellow and either a mint or a light blue? It's unusual, but it could be striking with the right back drop."I grab my notebook, jotting down notes. "I love that!""So what are your colors gonna be when you marr
CruiseFive Years Later"Molly's asleep." I press my wife up against the door to our bedroom, spreading open-mouth kisses along her neck as we grind against one another. Pulling back, I push my hands up her tank top, palming her breasts, moaning as I feel her nipples peak against her bra. "I paid Kelsea her stupid-ass babysitting fee, she's gone. We're alone." I can hear the annoyance in my voice. It's been an on-going argument between the two of us, how I'd watched her for free as a kid, and now she charges us.We've been out with friends and family, had a DD, and both of us have had a little too much to drink. Her with the margaritas she likes to indulge in with the ladies, and me with the whiskey Morgan and I were shooting straight with my dad."God, I want you." She rakes her nails across my neck, down my back, and fists my shirt in her hands.I want her too. Molly is three now, born within the first two years of us getting married, and we've finally got this parenting th
Ruby"Where are you taking me?" I watch as Caleb drives through the streets of downtown. This fall night is cool as rain falls from the sky. It's not sheets like the day he shot the armed man, but a steady drumming against the roof of the Jeep."You'll see." His deep voice has a secretive lilt to it, one that I've come to know well in the year we've been together. He's not great at keeping secrets, but when he does, they're the best kind.As he turns in front of The Café, I grin. No matter what's happened inside the building or in front of it, this is still one of our favorite places to go, to be. On any given night, we can walk inside and find any number of friends or family inside. It's darkish in there tonight, but I figure maybe the electricity is flickering because of the rain storm we're in. Earlier in the day, the school had lost power.He snags a parking spot near the door. "Don't touch the door, I'll come around for you. I don't want you get wet."Since the first nig
RubySeptemberBack when I bought this dress so many months ago, I had assumed I would wear it for Valentine's Day, but because of Caleb's schedule we were never able to make a special date work. He never did take me to that dinner, but we've had so many other special moments that I truly can't complain. Tonight, however, I'm thrilled to be wearing this dress to watch him get an award for bravery."You look absolutely gorgeous." He comes up behind me in the mirror as I'm applying a layer of lipstick."You don't look so bad yourself." I turn around in his arms, helping to straighten his dress uniform.I don't think Caleb has ever looked as hot as he does right now. There's something about him being so buttoned-up that I'm loving. "It's cutting off my circulation." He pulls at the fabric around his neck."You're fine." I slap his hands away. "Are you nervous?""Not really," he says with a shake of his head. "Nerves was playing for the college football championship. This is
RubyI'm lying on my couch, re-watching some TV show I've seen a million times, trying to figure out how to get through to Caleb when the doorbell rings. At first I ignore it, not wanting to disturb my brooding, but then I hear his voice."Red?" It's unsure and soft as he knocks on the door this time. "I know I don't deserve for you to let me in, but I'm asking you to. Please?"For a moment I think about ignoring him, I think about letting him sit out there and sweat. Give him the same type of reaction he's given me, but I realize quickly one of us has to be the bigger person. That person is me, because I know he's hurting and I know he's dealt with the situation he's been thrust into the best way he knows how.Opening the door, I stand there with my arms crossed. Until I see what he's carrying in his hands.The ugliest looking cupcakes I've ever seen in my life."I finally realized why he made them, even though they looked like shit," he gives me a slight smile. "It's the
Cruise"How'd you get in here?"My dad is waiting on me, probably ready to rip me a new one, just like Ruby did. I'm so not in the mood for it tonight."You don't need to know how I got in here." He gets up from where he's sitting on my couch. "Instead, what we need to do is talk about how we're going to get you to where you need to be.""What the fuck is that supposed to mean? This is me.""This isn't you, we both know that. I didn't raise you to be a fuck face. You haven't been answering my calls, your mom's, Kelsea's, or come to find out Ruby's, so let's talk about this Caleb. What the fuck is going on?""Nothing." I grind my teeth together, not wanting to do this with him."We've done this once before son, and we won't do it again. Do you remember when your friend died? Remember when you pushed everyone away? How'd that work out for you?""How does having a murderer for a son work out for you?" I fire back at him. "Because I'm on administrative leave for committing
RubyI'm sitting in my car watching Morgan and Caleb eat through The Café window. This is what I've been reduced to. It's been a week since the shooting, and so far, Caleb's refused to see me. I went to see him the other night, and it was a bad scene."What are you doing here?" Caleb opens his door, arms crossed over his chest. "I figured me not answering any of your calls let you know I'm not up to talking to anyone right now. Including you."Not gonna lie, this hurts. Seeing him like this hurts, hearing him talk to me the way he is hurts. But I won't give up on him. I promised Kelsea months ago that I would be here if he needed me, that I could handle whatever was thrown at me."You need me," I talk against the tightness in my throat."I need to be left the fuck alone. You. Mom. Dad. You all need to leave me the fuck alone.""We won't," I shake my head standing my ground. "We won't leave you alone to deal with this by yourself.""Fine, then if you won't leave, I will."
CruiseThe July sun is beating down on the pavement as I make my drive around the streets that make up Laurel Springs. It's been a boring day, for the most part, but I'm not stupid enough to think it'll last. Lately it's been slow and I've been feeling a lot like the other shoe might drop. This nagging feeling hasn't let go for the last week, but I know eventually either that shoe will drop or I'll get over it.Rain came through over an hour ago, but it did nothing to cool the day down. It's now a sauna outside. In certain parts there's actually steam coming up off the road. Behind the sun that's moved in, you can see more clouds behind. A dark hazy threat looming in the background, more storms are moving in. The stillness of the day threatens to break wide open when they do.Because of the heat that's been baking the ground and asphalt for days, most people are inside this afternoon, enjoying the air conditioning and not wanting to have heatstroke. Probably one of the reasons th
CruiseI love the smile on Kelsea's face, love even more that I'm the one who put it there. "You excited Kels?" I grin into the rearview as we make the drive to Birmingham."So excited, like I knew you knew him." She bounces in her seat. "But I didn't really know!"Him references my college roommate Slater Harlow, known by everyone who watches professional baseball as Savage. He's a formidable force on the baseball diamond, having the best season of his career. We're not as close as we once were, because life took us two totally different directions, but we still hang out every once in a while. Typically I like to keep the fact I know him from just about everyone, because I know he values his privacy. Now though? Kels is old enough to go to a major league game, and I'm doing my best to impress Ruby."I've known him a long time." I think back to our college days, how both of us had been so damn homesick. Him more than me, since I could at least head home on the weekend. Slater w
RubyIt's a hot summer day, as I walk onto the practice field. Since school let out in early June, I've been catching up on sleep, taking a summer class, and spending as much time with the man in my life as I can. Neither Mason nor Caleb are here today. Both are on duty, so another parent has offered to help the girls practice. Karina is sick with a summer cold and me? I'm here, not sure what the hell I've gotten myself into. Kelsea and I are spending the afternoon together, beginning with me picking her up. So we'll see how this goes."Ruby!" I hear as I shield my eyes and look out along the field. Kelsea is running toward me, her backpack bouncing as she runs."Hey Kels," I greet her, a real smile on my face. She and I haven't had a ton of time with one another, but as Caleb and I have gotten closer, the same has been true for the two of us. "You ready?" I wave to today's coach as she walks beside me."I am, it's hot out here." She pushes her hair back from her forehead.Ta