Renegade"It's been a slow fucking day," Tank yawns as the two of us sit in our patrol car, clocking speed on a side street off of a main thoroughfare. The town's had complaints about speeding being a problem in this residential area, but so far we've seen nothing.There's no lie in his statement. It's been one of the slowest days in recent memory for me. After the past week though I'm enjoying it. Every time I'm with him, I have a rush of guilt and I'm scared I'll blow the cover on the baby. This is one thing Whitney and I haven't really talked about, and I plan on bringing it up at our first dinner tonight.I smile slightly, thinking about the dinner we'll be having tonight. She said she'd like to cook on Tuesdays, leaving me with Thursdays. Off and on we've texted a little, trying to figure out if there's anything either of us absolutely hate, anything we both love. It's been mundane conversation, but to know I'm on her mind, even that way, is worth it."It has, I'm ready to
WhitneyI've been anxious since I heard his truck pull in the driveway. It's not overly loud, but loud enough. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have one of those annoying mufflers like Trevor put on his. Like all of the things they share in life, they both have a love for big trucks. Both blacked out with chrome, but Ryan's is lifted a little higher to accommodate his height. Trevor makes jokes about how Ryan has little man syndrome, but I know better. A flash of heat runs through my body as I think about his size. God, I miss the feeling he gave me as he thrust into me that night, the welcome weight of him laying on top of me, the way our eyes locked when he made me come. Damn, it's hot in here now.Fanning my hand in front of my face, I try to cool my wayward thoughts. This past week has been awful. If I didn't know better, I'd think I'm a teenage boy. After looking it up on the internet though, I know I'm good. This is completely normal, no matter how unnatural it feels.Putting my
WhitneyTuesday night has now become my favorite night of the week, followed by Thursday. For a month Ryan and I have been doing dinner. The first week was awkward, but now we've settled into a pattern. I cook on Tuesday and he cooks on Thursday. I try not look too deeply into why Tuesday is my favorite night, but I know it's because I get to take care of him.We've still managed to keep our secret, but it's not going to be much longer. The morning sickness has finally gone away and now I'm starting to gain weight. My clothes are fitting more tightly now that we're almost into the fourth month. We're going to need to start decorating a nursery and making plans soon. I'm a planner, obviously, and we both want to know the gender of the baby, can't even begin to tell you how excited I'm becoming about this new season of life.I check the clock on my SUV as I pull into the driveway. I have about forty-five minutes before Ryan gets here, which is nice, because that means I'll be able
RenegadeI've been good. Since this started I've let her call the shots, let her decide what part I get to play, what she'll allow me to do. I've never been the type of person to just sit back and let others direct me in my personal life. Doing what I do for a job, I have to be able to take, execute, and adjust my orders. I don't like it so much when I'm cut off at the knees in my personal life. It hits me like a freight train, the need to show this woman what I want from her.Her finger nails are cutting into my flesh she's holding me so tightly. The weight of her body is leaning into me, and I'm taking it. I want to show her how much I support her, how invaluable I am when she needs someone to lean on. I'm not the kind of guy to run when things get tough. Never in my life have I backed away from a fight, whether it be between me and my dad, me and gunfire in the middle of the night, or me and a perp. Ryan Kepler hangs around and gets the job done, no matter how difficult it is.
Renegade"These are for you," I hand Whitney the flowers I brought over. I figured if we're going to do the dating thing, I might as well pull out all the stops. Even if I did get her flowers last night. Every woman deserves to be wooed, and I will totally woo the fuck outta her.She smiles as she dips her head down to inhale the scent permeating the plastic they're in. "You always get me the best smelling flowers.""I wanted to be sure you remember this occasion. It's our first date," I remind her, following her into her house.After being relegated to indoor dinners, I can't believe I finally got her to agree to appear in public with me. I'm happier about it than I probably should be, because it still doesn't mean anything in the grand scheme of things. She's still unsure of me, and I know that, but I'll prove to her I'm the real deal."I'm excited about our date," she says as she adds the flowers to the same vase with the ones from last night, before grabbing her purse and
Renegade"Fuck I feel like I'm about to serve a warrant," I tell Whitney as I listen to the caller giving us our letters and numbers. "My heart is going to beat out of my chest, I'm so close to a damn bingo."She laughs at my side. "It's addicting, isn't it?""Like fucking heroin," I agree as I hear the next spot we can mark. Damnit, it's not the one I need."This is seriously what got me into it," she admits. "I won once and then I wanted to win again and again. So I just kept coming back. At one point, I could play like ten cards at once.""No way," I take my eyes off my own cards for a split second. "How?""Obsession?" she shrugs. "You just learn to do it, and then you don't want to stop. I'm not saying this is the best thing for someone with an addictive personality, but it's fun for a while."The caller calls out B-32 and holy shit. "Bingo! Bingo!" I yell to be heard above the loud room. Holding my hand up."Yes!" Whitney squeals next to me. "You did it!"We wait
Renegade"What's wrong?" I ask when I feel her turn over for maybe the hundredth time tonight. I'd thought being invited into her bed and sleeping here tonight would be a smooth ride, but she's probably traveled three miles in her quest for sleep."Can't sleep," she huffs, disentangling herself from me and pushing her pillow further up into the headboard. "No matter which way I lay, I can't get comfortable. Those chairs tonight were hard.""Isn't that supposed to happen later on in the pregnancy?" I drawl, trying to wake myself up to deal with her plight."I guess it can happen whenever because my hip is freakin' killing me, and now I can't go back to sleep."I know by the way she huffs again that this is going to be a long night. Forcing my eyes open, I focus on the clock at the bedside table. Two in the morning. If I can get her back to sleep within an hour, I can at least get four more before I have to be up and down at the station. "Would talking help you go to sleep?" I
Whitney"Do you like this color?" I hold up a piece of pale yellow fabric next to an off-white. "Does it wash this out?""I like them together, especially for a spring or early summer wedding. When is this one?" Addison asks, grabbing the appointment book from my table.We're in my kitchen today, working on some of the things we've unintentionally let pile up. I have a whole list I want to get through today, and Addison, bless her heart, brought me an iced decaf coffee from our local shop. We're checking stuff off our list like nobody's business. "I think it's in April of next year, but I'm meeting her next week to talk about color. I want to give her some options.""You're right, it is April. Ohhhh," she reaches over grabbing another piece of fabric. "What about the yellow and either a mint or a light blue? It's unusual, but it could be striking with the right back drop."I grab my notebook, jotting down notes. "I love that!""So what are your colors gonna be when you marr