1

Ever since I graduated 5 years ago, I have enjoyed my time as a nurse. I liked the chaos; and thrived in stressful situations that would cause others to shut down. I've held people's literal lives in my hands before. Working in an ER I saw everything from people having the flu to people with gunshot wounds. But, deep down I really knew why I liked working in the ER. I didn't have to form meaningful connections with the people I took care of. Once they were patched up, they were sent off to wherever it was that they needed to be sent to. 

Needless to say, I didn't like the idea of becoming attached to people. 

"The patient in room 306 is asking for you, Bella." A female voice spoke behind me. Ordinarily, I wouldn't have been so irritated by someone telling me that one of my patients was calling for me. However, the new hire had no business prodding into my rooms without needing to.

I sighed, frustration settling in my veins. I had been working hard all day, and the last thing I wanted to do was be stuck in a patient's room right before finishing all my paperwork. I blinked to study the new blonde nurse, her name I could not remember. Her pale cheeks were tinted pink from the permanent blush caused by a certain someone a few feet away, not paying attention to his trainee. Aside from noticing her flushed state, I decided it was not in my best interest to nitpick someone who wasn't worth my time.

My own light brunette hair was slipping out of the slack ponytail at the nape of my neck, preventing me from seeing her entirely anyway. With the feeling of an impending headache and the clock ticking closer and closer to the end of my shift, I decided to not tighten it. 

I batted the tendrils away from my face, trying my best to not appear annoyed but probably failing miserably. "Alright, did he say what he needed?" I urged, checking my pager to see if he had pressed his call light. "Uh, no. Just said he needed his nurse." She gave me a fleeting simper before ducking into her desk. I lamented, placing my clipboard down to see what the man wanted. I let out a low huff of annoyance, why couldn't she just see what he wanted before getting me? I thought to myself as I stood to my feet and made my way across the ER floor to the room where my patient supposedly needed me. "Where's your trainer?" That is what I should have said to her. But, I decided to keep it in as I composed myself just outside the door of 306.

I rapped on the door's glass, "Hello," I greeted, studying the aged man in the hospital bed. The man jumped slightly as I came into the room, appearing to be startled that I was coming into his room. As if he wasn't really expecting me. "Did you need something?" I questioned, going to his chart to check if he was heading off anywhere before discharge. "No, the other nurse just stuck her head in here and asked if I needed anything." He shrugged.

I kept my frustration to myself as I turned to him, "Well, if you need anything, just go ahead and press your call light and I'll be right here." I gave him a firm smile before leaving him be. I exited the room, pumping sanitizer into my palm as I advanced on the blonde, giggling with my childhood friend, Gabe. Flirting with him now that I was seemingly occupied in a patient's room. I didn't spare her the sympathy to come back later; she clearly didn't know how things worked around here. She and Gabe were doing nothing but flirting back and forth all afternoon. Well, this nurse had had enough.

"Clare, is it?" I suspected, giving her a stern look. My voice startled her, making her jump and straighten as I crossed my arms. "Uh, it's Amber." She corrected me, her ears turning a deep shade of red as I stood there, fuming. Gabe had to choke down his laugh by covering it with a cough, causing me to glare at him. 

"Right... Amber, don't go into patients' rooms unless they call, ok? Or unless you're supposed to go in there. He's my patient; he's not scheduled for anything, so leave them be. Gabe?" I shifted to my dark-haired friend of over 15 years, "Yes, Bella?" He stifled a chuckle as I scowled at him.

"Don't flirt with new hires, remember. The rule." I narrowed my eyes at him, and he offered me a one-shouldered shrug before he nodded his head, "Right. Dr. Marcus's rule of not dating co-workers." he waggled his finger, making a fake 'gotcha' face.

"Perfect." I spoke sarcastically, then clapped my hands, "302's light has been on for 5 minutes." I reminded them both of their late call light before veering away and going back to my paperwork. I lamented, sitting down to chart before the next shift arrived and needed a report. I pulled out my loose pony, feeling an oncoming headache forming at the back of my head stronger than before. "You don't have to be so rude, Isabella." Gabe hissed, smacking my shoulder. I turned to look at him, noticing the lack of his blonde shadow, "Listen, complain to someone who cares. I'm behind on charting because someone," I smacked him back, "is supposed to be training. Not flirting." I began to click away quickly on my charts. "I'm doing both." He crossed his arms, rolling his light-colored eyes.

"Both- why don't you tell Dr. Marcus that?" I rolled my eyes as I checked the time. "And while you're at it, go ahead and finish your charting before you're late." I ignored him as he yapped about how I needed to be nicer to people or I would die lonely with only him as a friend. After ten or so minutes of his nagging, I finally spun around in my chair to glare at him. "Don't you have end-of-shift training to do, Gabriel? I'm sure you have better things to do other than to tell me how to live my life."

"Whoa- someone's crabby today." Gabe gave me a once over, "No, I just don't want to listen to you nag at me like a gnat." I made a yapping motion with my hand at him, "Please, leave me alone so I can finish my work." I snapped. Gabe took the hint and left me alone, returning to his workstation. I knew Gabe, and I knew that he was already done with all of his work. I had to complete my admittance paperwork before I left in 20 minutes, and I needed to focus.

Not to mention that I had therapy after work, which always stressed me out.

I hated going to treatment, but I had to. My Aunt Maggie necessitated that I go; I had to undergo therapy as long as I desired to stay in her house. She was a big mental wellness nut, and for some reason, she was really adamant that I go for some reason to talk about my childhood. She says that I needed a conclusion about my family's abrupt disappearance when I was four years old. I've tried to tell her that I can't recollect what occurred because I was so young, not because my brain had shut it out. My therapist disagreed with me; he sided with Maggie.

"Hey girl," Ardith, one of the more experienced nurses on our unit, greeted me as she planted her bags beside me. "Full moon is in a few nights; I'm still recovering from the last one." She chuckled, cracking her knuckles. I gave her a weak smile, "Don't remind me. That night was hell."

"Did the labs ever come back from the dog wound guy? I've never seen a large bite wound on a dude before." She inquired, leaning against the counter. I shook my head, "It was inconsistent with DNA from the breed he told us it was. It was inconclusive, really," I shrugged, "Lab was baffled too." She pursed her lips, "Eh. Whatever, I was just thinking about it on the way in. I see there's someone over in 306?" I gave Ardith report before heading out, now running a little late and wouldn't be able to change into my civilian clothes before going to my appointment, or I wouldn't make it in time.

I cast my belongings into my passenger seat and slid into my car before driving off into going home traffic to my therapy office uptown. I tapped the steering wheel as I sat at a red light, biting my bottom lip. Classical music piped quietly over the stereo speakers, the resonance relaxing my speeding thoughts. The light flashed green, and I was heading out again. I looked in both directions and turned right, going to the parking garage to find a place to park my vehicle.

I made it just in time for my appointment, sighing as I approached the desk. "Can I help you?" The front desk woman asked, her voice higher than usual. "Uh, evening, Melody. I have an appointment with Dr. Maxwell at 5-"

"Dr. Maxwell went out. Had an emergency. We have an on-call therapist in his place if you would like to do that." This sudden revelation dumbfounded me. Why hadn't someone contacted me so I could reschedule, or even that he wasn't here right now? Why didn't someone call me to tell me he was out?

"What- why didn't someone tell me?"

"It was sudden. I understand your frustration." She gave me a once over shyly. I groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose. If I say no and go home, my Aunt will question why I didn't go to therapy. Then there would be an argument that would last all night. If I do it this one time, I could get it over with and save the week of dramatic sighs and eye rolls. But, at the same time, this person didn't know me; for all I know, they're just some sort of weird undergrad looking for some extra brownie points or someone much, much less knowledgeable than my therapist. I did not want to talk to someone new, and I just wanted to go home.

"I'll just reschedule. I've had a busy day and I would really like to just get home." She looked distressed for some reason, "Oh- oh ok. Let's see here...."

After spending 5 minutes rescheduling my appointment for two weeks out, I left. Groaning with realization, I made my way back to my car, feeling a surge of annoyance and irritation. I know that the impending argument would be nasty, but I didn't want to talk to some fill-in therapist. I wanted to speak on my own, which I paid for. Somehow, it'll be my fault or my Aunt will twist it into some long scolding about how I needed to insist to see him sooner or something that would be literally impossible. It just seemed like she didn't understand how the world worked, and it was so annoying. She had these expectations of things that were very unrealistic, even for me, she wanted me to be the best at everything I ever did. It was hard, and I tried my best. But I guess that's how every parent is anyway.

I sighed, sliding into the driver's seat and resting my hands on the steering wheel. Things happen, I understand that. I just hoped my Aunt would too.