Chapter 4

One of the Alpha's men knocks on the door of one of the few guest houses as I stand behind him with my bag of things my mother threw together. I stare at the ground between my feet, thinking over the conversation I had with my parents after dinner. All I had to say was "the Alpha is my mate," for my mother to nearly enter cardiac arrest. And as usual, my father didn't say much.

I sat on my bed as my mother packed some things to stay the night. I'm sure I would have been arguing with her, but my mind was consumed by everything-it still is. There were a couple things I could focus on as she rummaged through my drawers and bathroom: the Alpha is my mate, he's going to make me leave, and I have to escape-somehow.

The door of the guest house opens. I look up and sigh. The Alpha dismisses my handler and brings me inside. I've never been in the guest houses before; they are only for important people.

"You have everything you need?" He asks me.

He's shed the formal clothes he was wearing earlier. It feels strange to see a foreign Alpha so casual.

"I just want to go to sleep and wake up having realized this was all just a dream," I say. "So please, just tell me where my bed is."

"You know, I am your mate. You're welcome in my bed."

I nod slowly, one single motion. "That's okay. Keep your bed, David. I like to take up a lot of space, really stretch out."

He watches me as hints of curiosity begin to show on his face. I've called him by his first name. "Besides," I add on, "I don't sleep with men I've just met."

Without an argument, he leaves me in the spare room.

I change out of my dinner clothes and into the pajamas my mother grabbed from home. My body lowers onto the guest bed after I shut of the light. Moonlight hardly shines through the curtains closed over the windows.

I can feel him through the walls, as if his heart beat vibrates against the floor beneath me. All my ridiculous mind can think about is how close he is. My arms wrap around the spare pillow with a deadly grip, wishing that life would bloom from the feathers stuffed inside, wishing I wasn't as alone as I am for a girl so painfully close to her mate.

How can I try to play the game if he's already seeping through my barriers? I need to get a hold of myself before he does.

Morning comes for me, but I refuse to welcome it with open arms.

I can't leave the bed. I don't want to face what's on the other side of the door. Instead, I continuously fall back asleep, ruining any sense of a sleep schedule I may have had. My mind tilts back and forth between waking and sleeping until my body refuses to shut off one more time. My eyes watch the ceiling then, and once I've traced every inch of crown molding twice, I turn to the wall, then the next, and the next, and the last.

A firm knock sounds against the door and I freeze, contemplating if I should pretend to be asleep or not if whoever it is attempts to open it. The handle squeaks and turns, so I quickly turn on my opposite side and hold my breath.

The door glides open. Two footsteps enter then suddenly cut off. "Brigette, what on earth are you doing?"

My mother.

"It is four in the afternoon. Why are you still in bed?"

"I don't want to do this right now," I mutter, keeping my back to her.

"The Alpha may be too kind to get you out of bed, but we both know I am not. You are creating a bad impression, Brigie. Imagine what he must think."

"I don't care what he thinks."

She scoffs and sits on the edge of the bed. Just when I think she's about to speak, she doesn't. I wait in silence, waiting for her to scold me or yank the blankets from my body. But when she does finally speak, her voice is raw, free from attitude or judgment. My mother says, "I know this isn't what you wanted, I really do. I always heard you, Brigie. Maybe I thought once you found your mate, you'd warm up to the idea of it. You-you really don't want this? Even now?"

"I-I don't know," I murmur. "This is all just too much. I don't want to think about any of it."

"I'm afraid you don't have much time to wallow. You'll be packing your things today-whatever you want to bring with you."

My chest tightens. "So he wants to-"

"Leave tomorrow," she finishes. "Yes. But, that's understandable. He must get back to his pack. You know how these things are."

"So you're fine with this? You don't care that he's taking me away?"

"Of course I'm not fine with it. You're my daughter. But your mate is an Alpha, and that means you'll have to go with him just like I followed your father here."

I sit up. When I catch sight of her face, I also see the tears welling in her eyes. "I suppose his pack isn't as far as it could have been."

"So I'll come see you," my mother tells me as she rests her hand on my blanket-covered knee. "And you'll come visit us, won't you?"

"I will," I breathe. "If the Alpha allows it."

"Oh, stop it. I've spoken with him, Brigette, and he seems lovely. He doesn't want to steal you away from me, but his position leaves him no choice."

"He told you that?" I question.

She nods. "He did. He's just downstairs."

"I know he is. If I'm in here, then I don't have to see him."

"So you're hiding then?"

I press my lips together. "I'm not hiding. I'm avoiding."

My mother takes one last breath before standing up. "Well, you've got to face the music. I need you home unless you want me picking out what things to send with you."

She knows my triggers just as I know her's.

"You get up and get yourself together. I'm going to head back home, but I'll see you in a bit, right?"

Having few options, I run a hand through my tousled hair and say, "Yeah, okay. I'll see you in a bit."

Once she leaves the room, I collapse back on the bed and groan, hating the fact that he's down there. Do I play the game, or do I run? Could I even escape him and my mother? It seems that I'm leaving his watch and entering hers.

I wonder what Lindsey would think of all this. I have to see her before the Alpha whisks me away; I have to keep my promise, no matter the circumstances.

With my flannel pajama bottoms and loose hair, I saunter down the steps and restrain my feelings of romantic anxiety. It's difficult to be nice to him. All of my strict control over thoughts and feelings and desires annoys me. I hate that I have to do it. I hate that I'm experiencing such things. But, if I want to go home, I have to get through this part. When I reach the bottom of the staircase, I walk down the hallway to the main room. My eyes scan the living-room on my right then they turn to the kitchen on my left. I jump a little at the sight of him. He's leaned against the counter with crossed arms, expecting me.

"So you got my mother," I say and ease into the room. The front door is just beyond.

"I thought you would rather have her get you out of that room," he says.

"I heard that you're leaving tomorrow."

He nods. "We're leaving tomorrow, yes. I have to get back."

"I guess that's fair." I move closer. "Alphas have a lot of responsibilities. You're busy, aren't you?" He watches me. "We'll hardly see each other. It'll be like I'm not even there."

The Alpha smiles slightly while peering to the floor. "I can make time for you, Brigette."

"That's funny. I swear my father said the same thing to me once, and he's only a Beta." I breathe in. "Anyway, I'm going to go pack my things. Don't worry, my mother has been making sure I don't run off ever since I was a little girl. I won't be going anywhere."

When I look back to him, his eyes are already on me. "I'll be walking you over," he tells me, almost regretfully.

"You're kidding?"

He shakes his head and walks out of the kitchen.

"I can't even walk to my house on my own?" I question, my voice growing louder. "What am I going to do? Run into the woods like this?" I motion to my pajamas.

"Come on," he says and opens the front door of the guest house.

I stand still. "Is this how it's going to be? Even when we're at your pack? If it is, you're going to have to drag me out of this town because I won't be coming willingly."

"Brigette," he says, "let's go. It's almost five."

I clench my jaw and storm forward. As I walk through the door, I mutter, "What? No leash?"

Before I can get far enough, he grabs my arm, halting me. My eyes shoot back to his face then to his hand on me. "What did you expect?" He asks. "Did you think you could just say the things you said with no consequences? Do you think I want to walk you around so you don't run off?"

"I'm not going to run off," I dramatize.

"I don't believe you," he says as his eyes bore into my own.

The game it is.

"Let go of me, David."

Once he does, I take a step back. He closes the door and together we head in the direction of my home, and I try to stay two or three steps ahead of him, but it doesn't seem to help the suffocating feeling bubbling in my stomach. I try to breathe without catching his air, but I can't help it.

When we reach a more populated part of pack land, we gain the attention of anyone who may pass. I can't tell if it's because of his authority and beauty or my attire, but either way it is unwelcome. I suppose my days of going unnoticed are over.

"You know, they say people shouldn't have pets if they don't have time to care for them," I mutter just as three familiar girls walk by. I try to ignore their lingering gazes.

"So are you worried that I won't have time for you?" He asks from behind. "Or are you trying to make me feel guilty for being an Alpha?"

"Like that's even possible. As if men could feel guilty for being above everyone else."

"It's the first, then?"

I glance back at him. "I don't need your attention, David. I would say that I could live happily without you, but you might actually put a leash on me."

He gives a breathy chuckle as if he finds my words to be nothing but empty promises. "You know, you could actually convince me if it weren't for the bond."

"So the bond is telling you otherwise? It gives you the ability to read my mind?"

"No. I don't have to read your mind to know how you feel."

I roll my lips together and power on all to keep from screaming. When my house appears in the distance, some relief comes to me. As we near, I say, "Looks like you're off watch duty."

"Your mother will bring you back to the guest house after dinner," he reminds me. "We will be leaving early tomorrow."

I turn and face him before making my way to the front door. "So I just have tonight to say goodbye?"

The Alpha nods.

I swallow and straighten my neck. "I'm a person, you know. I didn't start existing when you met me last night; I had a life before you."

He exhales and breaks away, turning to walk back.

"Believe me," he says, "I know."

I cross my arms, watching as he heads off, noticing the sadness as it pools in my gut because a part of me wants him to stay. A part of me wants this to be easy.