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Chapter 23
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2024-10-29 19:42:56I take my pajamas into the bathroom to change and prepare for bed. After I do so, I notice a crack in the door. I position myself so my eye sees right through it, right at the bed where David is sitting against the tufted headboard, reading something on his laptop. The artificial light of the screen glows on his skin, and I hold my breath, leaning closer into the sliver of space, seeing he is bare from the waist up. My eyes widen and my brows tug together. When he mindlessly glances at the bathroom door, I spring away and make no sudden movements.
I look at myself in the mirror, reconsidering my decision to wear a snug-fitting shirt with a thinner fabric. If he sleeps like that—which I'm assuming he is—then when he holds me—which he always does—I'll almost feel his bare skin. This stupid shirt will be the only barrier between our skin. It's not just our hands touching; it's plains of bo
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"What are you suggesting?" An Alpha projects from the back. I glance over my shoulder and see the man standing with his hands on the desk—his eyes aimed directly at Nicodra. "I am suggesting we slow our conformity into human society before we lose our sense of self," Nicodra dramatizes. "Because it is quite obvious that we are not humans. Our ancestors embraced the heritage we are so quickly sacrificing—I think it's best we start doing the same." David speaks, surprising me. "There are many factors that are at risk of being overlooked. Packs are larger, and our people desire modern luxuries that ourancestorswere unable to utilize. Structuring pack land as humans structure their towns has proven to be beneficial for everyone. There is no need to spend the majority of our time shifted and hunting, not to mention the
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I crash onto the bed and let my limbs fall limp and helpless, tired of holding the weight of conversation with Alphas and Lunas for far longer than I thought. Yet there's only a short break before we have to get ready for the ultra-fancy dinner tonight—another commencement since one is not enough. I swear the first day is to welcome us, the second is to work, and the third is to say goodbye; two whole days wasted. I'm sure Aurora and Bonny could secure our daughters' place as Alpha in the time spent mingling. David stands before me and I lift onto my elbows. My lazy smile falters when his face shows concern. "I've been thinking about sending you home early," he says, his words causing me to overlook his questionably dismissive tone. "After today I'm sure you'd rather go back and bother Jeremy than sit through boring meetings and dinners."
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I secure a heavy towel around my body then peek through a slit in the doorway. The bedroom is empty, but I hear David's voice coming from the living room. He must be on the phone with Tarlo; maybe David is updating him. Tonight Jeremy planned for me to wear the emerald green dress. It's long with a sophisticated cut, not too young or too old. He calls themmydresses, but I feel as if I'm borrowing costumes for a ballet performance. I smile, twirl about the room, and put all my recently-learned knowledge on our politics to use. David says that shape-shifting, people-pleasing person is me. If he's right, then I have never been so fractured in my life. Funnily enough, I have never felt so whole. I leave the bedroom in the dress so David can zipper me in. My hair tumbles down my shoulders, still partially damp, and I g
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"I'm not leaving," I protest. "Get your things together. We're flying back tonight." "I'm not leaving, David. I mean it. I'm not done." "I don't care," he says, looking from our bags for a moment between his frantic packing. "I knew this would happen. I knew I shouldn't have let you come." I sigh and sit on the edge of the bed, watching him. "They're making Nicodra leave—you saw what happened. He's probably already gone." "I don't care." "I'm not leaving." "Yes," he says louder and shoots upright, "you are. Look what he did." He motions to my neck. "What he could ha
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David's fingers dance around my bruise as light as feathers tickling my skin-a skater spinning around a frozen pond. His other hand is in my grasp, massaged and felt by my own mindless fingers and anxious movement. The results of my speech sit on my chest, and I know the weight won't budge until the majority opinion is heard tomorrow. "You did very well," David tells me for the seventh time since I finished this morning. I spoke the final, improvised word, stepped off of the podium, returned to him, and it's the first thing he said in a proud hush. "I think I'm ready to go home." I rest against him on the loveseat in our living room, my back to his chest, my head just under his chin. "Well, I'm sure Jeremy can arrange something in a week or two," he says, sighing.
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David speaks to me about our return trip home as we wait for the meeting to begin. We sit in the same seats as we have the past two days: bottom row, nearly center, important-feeling. He rambles to distract me and calm my leg as it relentlessly bobs, but no matter how hard I try to pay attention to him, his details of our travels do not compete with the looming results of my last-minute plan. Alpha Leloup-Nicodra's replacement-takes center stage at the podium. He nods to the crowd before beginning. "First, I will announce the surveyed results of the first issue: Luna Amin's and Luna Godoy's call for females of Alpha blood to be eligible for the Alpha position. I clench my fists. This is it-whether or not Nicodra's crushing grip came to good use. "At this time, we are willing to cons
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"Let's go through things, alright? You need to get back into routine after being gone and taking a...break," Jeremy says, and I nearly forgot how quickly he speaks. "It was only two days," I drawl. "First, most importantly, Alpha Nicodra will be coming at the end of the month-" "David called? Nicodra said yes?" Jeremy insists, "It's what I received. I receive the information, and I structure your schedule, that's all." "I thought you knew everything?" He holds my gaze for a moment before he takes a breath and sets down his papers on the dining room table. "Yes, Nicodra agreed to come and speak with you. The Alph
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The first thing she says to me when I open the door is, "So it's true," as her cat-like eyes survey my bruise. "I didn't get to see it. I was escorted out so quickly." I glance at Tarlo behind her. He doesn't look like he wants to step further than this. In the few seconds we have, Tarlo and I communicate through stares. He seems to ask:Will you be alright?And I say:Yes, you don't have to stay. "Please, come in," I tell Aurora. "I'll be close by," Tarlo insists then turns the other way, being a good Beta and friend to David. I know he wouldn't let anything bad happen-the same promise David makes to me. Aurora walks inside but we don't spend a moment too long in the foyer. I take her to the first living room; the one with a grand window that overse
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"Do you have the agreement?" "I got it," David says. I look from my reflection in the mirror over the dresser to see the folder clamped in his hand, hanging at his side. It seems like just the other day that I attended my first Union meeting here, but I don't mind the travel. Besides, the heavy snow outside reminds me of the winters at my old pack, minus the mountains, of course. David scans my body as if something will suddenly be out of place. I turn to him with my hands holding the underside of my rounded belly. "I know," I tell him, "I'm getting big." He approaches with gentle eyes and spreads his palm to feel my belly with a cautious touch. "Twenty-two weeks today—over halfway there." "Do you think you can make it?"
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The sweet smell of cooking blackberries wafts in my face as I stir the fruit over the stove to make jam. Helena places the proofed dough loaf in the oven, and we function seamlessly, chatting through our work. "Do you think they will like jam? I hope they aren't picky." "Children are picky, but they will grow out of it. You know, my daughter was a very picky eater at first, so I would eat the food she feared and act as if it was the most wondrous tasting thing. She would see my reaction and immediately want to taste it. Most of the time, she would act the same way—smiling and sayingyum-my. She was a precious little thing." "I can't wait," I say. Helena comes to my side. "Here, dear. Let me take over. Sit down for a bit, won't you?"
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Lyde and I sit together in the back seat of the SUV that picked us up from the airport. The sun is setting, and I am entirely exhausted, but my excitement to see David keeps me awake. Bonny flew home to Argentina from Germany, so without Jeremy, it is only the two of us returning. The decision to leave without Jeremy was out of my hands, but my guilt lingers and sours in my stomach. He left us, yet I feel the opposite. David is still unaware of everything—especially regarding Maybe Baby—but any moment now I'll be free to tell him each and every detail. We're nearing our territory, only ten or so minutes away. "Lyde," I say, looking from the window, "I just want to thank you for coming with me." Her eyes open and shift to me before closing again. She adjusts in her seat. "Of course,
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The very moment my eyes open, I remain completely still. My fingers twitch, my throat swallows, and I soon realize that nothing happened last night. For some reason, it feels too good to be true. In just over four hours, I'll be giving my speech, and no one has tried to sabotage me. No one broke into my room and knocked me over the head and dropped me in the middle of the woods. No one drugged me and tied me up in the basement of the hotel. And thank the goddess above that I'm not dead. "Maybe Baby?" I call softly then glance under the sheets in search of blood, but there's none of that either. My unease sits on my shoulder as I work through my morning routine, kicking its feet into my chest and grabbing at my hair. I stand in front of the mirror and brush my teeth, but my eyes drif
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Sunlight is diffused into a soft glow by the sheer curtain pulled over the large window in my room. I have been awake for a while already, yet I haven't left the bed. I lay on my back with my head propped against two pillows, and I rub my flat tummy as if casting a spell. The incantation is a murmur on my lips. "If you're in there, just hang on. We're only here for one more night, and then we'll get back home to your Daddy. I just need you to work with me, okay?" It's almost eight o'clock. Jeremy will knock on my door any moment now to make sure I'm getting myself ready for the day. There are meetings in the late morning all through the afternoon, then tonight we have a formal dinner which I packed a very sophisticated dress for—clean edges, all business. Without David, this is no more than a business trip, but maybe next time we can come together and explore Germany for an extra few da
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"They're drawing my circle." I stand at the back doors in the kitchen. It's pitch black outside. We've either launched ourselves into the night sky or have stumbled into a place we are not supposed to be. "It's time," David says as he comes up behind me. His hands reach under my arms and caress my bump. Something moves inside of me, and my eyes shoot down to my round, ripened stomach. I gasp and swiftly turn to my love. David kneels before me and looks at my very pregnant belly. Fear strikes my core. "I-I don't remember—" "It's coming," he tells me. "It's time." I jolt and wake in my seat, submerged in the strange atmosphere of the airplane. Bonny is in the seat beside me, and i
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"I think it's done." I lift my eyes from my computer screen to look at both Bonny and Jeremy as they sit at the dining table with me. Jeremy says, "Let's hear it." "Okay," I mutter and straighten up in my seat. Bonny watches with encouraging eyes, and I loosen up my shoulders. "Here it is." We've been working for the past two days since Bonny arrived. We leave for Germany the day after tomorrow, and the final piece of our preparations is my speech for the main discussion. And I think I've done it. "Hello, good afternoon, I am Luna Amin of the Amin Pack in North America, but please, call me Brigette. It isn't a secret that I am new to the Union, to leadership—I haven't been a Lun
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Part 3 "Good morning, dear. How was your sleep?" "It's was fine," I tell Helena as I enter the kitchen, clad in a robe and shrugging off the mental residue of lovemaking. "Did David get something to eat before he left?" "He did," she assures me. "And I've got some stuff for you as well; the things we talked about yesterday." Yesterday I told Helena that I may be pregnant soon. I couldn't help myself, with all that's been happening, it wouldn't be a complete surprise. I sit at the counter island as she displays some pregnancy-related goods in front of me. "I've got the teas, the salve, and I even found the necklace I told you about." She holds up a dainty metal ch
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"What did you do with the body," I ask, my back to my mate, the spray of the shower falling down on us like rain. "Aurora asked us to dispose of it," David says, rubbing up and down my shoulders. "How?" He sighs. "We burned it." "I'm starting to understand you were gone for so long." He leaves a kiss on my nape, and I turn to face him. "I have to speak with her after this. Tarlo is bringing her to the house, and you're welcome to sit in on our discussion. Maybe she'd appreciate your presence. You're her friend, after all." "How much did she see of it?" "Nothing. She stayed i
