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Chapter 17
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2024-10-29 19:42:56When I enter the bedroom, David is already sitting on the edge of the bed, on his side. He looks up as I continue to the opposite side. These past few nights, we've formed a routine of sorts. I get ready in my room and come over to the master where David will be waiting for me. I get in bed, he turns off the lights and settles down as well. We talk for a little before I eventually fall asleep, not remembering where the conversation ended. This night feels different, however.
Lindsey is tucked away in her private guest house; I thought she would enjoy the extra space and seclusion. So as usual, we are utterly alone. Maybe it was the children then—the talk of motherhood that's throwing me off. Something pulls in my gut as I lay down, and when he shuts off the light, the feeling worsens.
David lowers down and I turn to face him. He lays
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"Lindsey? When did you and Timothy, you know, go all the way? Like, how long did you wait?" She looks up from her plate and says, "How long? I don't know, maybe around two weeks." "Two weeks? Really?" "It's not like I'm unsure about my feelings for him. The mate bond is for life—there won't be anyone else. Why wait when you're with your soulmate?" I poke around at the breakfast Helena sent. It arrived just as I did, so Lindsey and I decided to eat together at her guest house. The windows are open and a near-summer breeze passes through, blowing softly against my skin before drifting throughout the rooms. She has everything bright and open and the morning has never felt more welcomed.
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The sound of the door has me up on my feet like a dog. Lindsey and Helena watch as I hurry to the archway and peer into the hall. David is at the end in the foyer, closing and locking the door behind him. He's home earlier than usual, and I couldn't have hoped for more. "David," I breathe and rush over, "what happened with the man? He's dead, isn't he? Do you know why she did it?" "How do you know about that?" He asks, taken-back. "Lindsey and I were there." "Why were you there? Were you looking for the scene?" He questions. "No, we weren't. We were just walking to the gardens, and we saw it happen. W-We left right after and ran back home."
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"You're going to be dressing for cold weather. I picked up some sophisticated basics but—" "Are you saying my wardrobe lacks sophistication?" I ask Jeremy and turn from the closet with a pair of ripped jeans in my hands. He says, "You can bring jeans, but ones with all of the fabric intact." I switch the grungy denim for pants that better reflect the sort oflookhe's describing. We both move back and forth in my spare room from the closet to my suitcases. He insisted that I would need two suitcases—despite my disbelief—and as it's turning out, from the look of the dresses and outfits and pajamas and other bits, he's right, as usual. Lindsey headed back home a few days ago, but I had little time to mourn her abs
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Part 2 I think I fell in love with the idea of running away when my grandfather was dying and we traveled to see him. All of it was so exciting; the airport, the commotion, the flight. The moment the plane pushed from the ground and that strange floating feeling spiked in my gut, I was hooked. My eyes never left the window. My father was apprehensive about the whole thing, but he wouldn't dare keep my mother from saying one last goodbye to her father. While he was quiet and reserved the entire time, I knew being around humans and pretending to be one of them wasn't his style. Like David, he is prideful in what he is, who he is, and the traditions he so passionately keeps alive. It's our culture, our sense of self, and he liked these distinctions between us and them. Humans were so painfully singular—selfish, h
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I lay on the grand bed as I hear the water turn on in the bathroom. David is taking a shower, so I try to busy myself. All of my dresses and other clothes that must be hung up—as Jeremy instilled in my head and left on a note in one of the suitcases—have been hung up, and all of my dinner has been eaten. I roll onto my stomach and stare at the door. My eyes shift between the bedroom doors and the bathroom door. Surely this place is safe or else David wouldn't have brought me here, so I step into my shoes and slip out of the suite like Alice adventuring into Wonderland. I walk down the large hall, looking into the beyond as the space seems to open up. There is only one other pair of doors until the branch of the hall is connected to the body of the building; a vast space with elegant, stone stairs whose railings are carved and detailed
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I take my pajamas into the bathroom to change and prepare for bed. After I do so, I notice a crack in the door. I position myself so my eye sees right through it, right at the bed where David is sitting against the tufted headboard, reading something on his laptop. The artificial light of the screen glows on his skin, and I hold my breath, leaning closer into the sliver of space, seeing he is bare from the waist up. My eyes widen and my brows tug together. When he mindlessly glances at the bathroom door, I spring away and make no sudden movements. I look at myself in the mirror, reconsidering my decision to wear a snug-fitting shirt with a thinner fabric. If he sleeps like that—which I'm assuming he is—then when he holds me—which he always does—I'll almost feel his bare skin. This stupid shirt will be the only barrier between our skin. It's not just our hands touching; it's plains of bo
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"What are you suggesting?" An Alpha projects from the back. I glance over my shoulder and see the man standing with his hands on the desk—his eyes aimed directly at Nicodra. "I am suggesting we slow our conformity into human society before we lose our sense of self," Nicodra dramatizes. "Because it is quite obvious that we are not humans. Our ancestors embraced the heritage we are so quickly sacrificing—I think it's best we start doing the same." David speaks, surprising me. "There are many factors that are at risk of being overlooked. Packs are larger, and our people desire modern luxuries that ourancestorswere unable to utilize. Structuring pack land as humans structure their towns has proven to be beneficial for everyone. There is no need to spend the majority of our time shifted and hunting, not to mention the
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I crash onto the bed and let my limbs fall limp and helpless, tired of holding the weight of conversation with Alphas and Lunas for far longer than I thought. Yet there's only a short break before we have to get ready for the ultra-fancy dinner tonight—another commencement since one is not enough. I swear the first day is to welcome us, the second is to work, and the third is to say goodbye; two whole days wasted. I'm sure Aurora and Bonny could secure our daughters' place as Alpha in the time spent mingling. David stands before me and I lift onto my elbows. My lazy smile falters when his face shows concern. "I've been thinking about sending you home early," he says, his words causing me to overlook his questionably dismissive tone. "After today I'm sure you'd rather go back and bother Jeremy than sit through boring meetings and dinners."
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"Do you have the agreement?" "I got it," David says. I look from my reflection in the mirror over the dresser to see the folder clamped in his hand, hanging at his side. It seems like just the other day that I attended my first Union meeting here, but I don't mind the travel. Besides, the heavy snow outside reminds me of the winters at my old pack, minus the mountains, of course. David scans my body as if something will suddenly be out of place. I turn to him with my hands holding the underside of my rounded belly. "I know," I tell him, "I'm getting big." He approaches with gentle eyes and spreads his palm to feel my belly with a cautious touch. "Twenty-two weeks today—over halfway there." "Do you think you can make it?"
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The sweet smell of cooking blackberries wafts in my face as I stir the fruit over the stove to make jam. Helena places the proofed dough loaf in the oven, and we function seamlessly, chatting through our work. "Do you think they will like jam? I hope they aren't picky." "Children are picky, but they will grow out of it. You know, my daughter was a very picky eater at first, so I would eat the food she feared and act as if it was the most wondrous tasting thing. She would see my reaction and immediately want to taste it. Most of the time, she would act the same way—smiling and sayingyum-my. She was a precious little thing." "I can't wait," I say. Helena comes to my side. "Here, dear. Let me take over. Sit down for a bit, won't you?"
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Lyde and I sit together in the back seat of the SUV that picked us up from the airport. The sun is setting, and I am entirely exhausted, but my excitement to see David keeps me awake. Bonny flew home to Argentina from Germany, so without Jeremy, it is only the two of us returning. The decision to leave without Jeremy was out of my hands, but my guilt lingers and sours in my stomach. He left us, yet I feel the opposite. David is still unaware of everything—especially regarding Maybe Baby—but any moment now I'll be free to tell him each and every detail. We're nearing our territory, only ten or so minutes away. "Lyde," I say, looking from the window, "I just want to thank you for coming with me." Her eyes open and shift to me before closing again. She adjusts in her seat. "Of course,
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The very moment my eyes open, I remain completely still. My fingers twitch, my throat swallows, and I soon realize that nothing happened last night. For some reason, it feels too good to be true. In just over four hours, I'll be giving my speech, and no one has tried to sabotage me. No one broke into my room and knocked me over the head and dropped me in the middle of the woods. No one drugged me and tied me up in the basement of the hotel. And thank the goddess above that I'm not dead. "Maybe Baby?" I call softly then glance under the sheets in search of blood, but there's none of that either. My unease sits on my shoulder as I work through my morning routine, kicking its feet into my chest and grabbing at my hair. I stand in front of the mirror and brush my teeth, but my eyes drif
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Sunlight is diffused into a soft glow by the sheer curtain pulled over the large window in my room. I have been awake for a while already, yet I haven't left the bed. I lay on my back with my head propped against two pillows, and I rub my flat tummy as if casting a spell. The incantation is a murmur on my lips. "If you're in there, just hang on. We're only here for one more night, and then we'll get back home to your Daddy. I just need you to work with me, okay?" It's almost eight o'clock. Jeremy will knock on my door any moment now to make sure I'm getting myself ready for the day. There are meetings in the late morning all through the afternoon, then tonight we have a formal dinner which I packed a very sophisticated dress for—clean edges, all business. Without David, this is no more than a business trip, but maybe next time we can come together and explore Germany for an extra few da
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"They're drawing my circle." I stand at the back doors in the kitchen. It's pitch black outside. We've either launched ourselves into the night sky or have stumbled into a place we are not supposed to be. "It's time," David says as he comes up behind me. His hands reach under my arms and caress my bump. Something moves inside of me, and my eyes shoot down to my round, ripened stomach. I gasp and swiftly turn to my love. David kneels before me and looks at my very pregnant belly. Fear strikes my core. "I-I don't remember—" "It's coming," he tells me. "It's time." I jolt and wake in my seat, submerged in the strange atmosphere of the airplane. Bonny is in the seat beside me, and i
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"I think it's done." I lift my eyes from my computer screen to look at both Bonny and Jeremy as they sit at the dining table with me. Jeremy says, "Let's hear it." "Okay," I mutter and straighten up in my seat. Bonny watches with encouraging eyes, and I loosen up my shoulders. "Here it is." We've been working for the past two days since Bonny arrived. We leave for Germany the day after tomorrow, and the final piece of our preparations is my speech for the main discussion. And I think I've done it. "Hello, good afternoon, I am Luna Amin of the Amin Pack in North America, but please, call me Brigette. It isn't a secret that I am new to the Union, to leadership—I haven't been a Lun
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Part 3 "Good morning, dear. How was your sleep?" "It's was fine," I tell Helena as I enter the kitchen, clad in a robe and shrugging off the mental residue of lovemaking. "Did David get something to eat before he left?" "He did," she assures me. "And I've got some stuff for you as well; the things we talked about yesterday." Yesterday I told Helena that I may be pregnant soon. I couldn't help myself, with all that's been happening, it wouldn't be a complete surprise. I sit at the counter island as she displays some pregnancy-related goods in front of me. "I've got the teas, the salve, and I even found the necklace I told you about." She holds up a dainty metal ch
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"What did you do with the body," I ask, my back to my mate, the spray of the shower falling down on us like rain. "Aurora asked us to dispose of it," David says, rubbing up and down my shoulders. "How?" He sighs. "We burned it." "I'm starting to understand you were gone for so long." He leaves a kiss on my nape, and I turn to face him. "I have to speak with her after this. Tarlo is bringing her to the house, and you're welcome to sit in on our discussion. Maybe she'd appreciate your presence. You're her friend, after all." "How much did she see of it?" "Nothing. She stayed i
