Is it really so bad if it feels so right?His body is lean and hard, the muscles taut like I’d felt them during our combat training, but his lips are soft and gentle; a stark contrast to the intensity of our need. He lazily teases and explores the inside of my mouth as though we had all the time in the world. I couldn’t deny the heat that spread through me, and my usual instincts were silenced by his touch.I demanded more. I was being weak and pathetic, but I didn’t care.Then without warning, the intensity heightens. Pure, unadulterated magic simmers between us and it is like adding gasoline to fire. The secret parts of me roar to life, tingling, and I gasp against William’s mouth. He hadn’t been hard a moment ago, but now he was, poking my hip. It felt as if we were feeling what the other was feeling, seeing what the other was seeing. His desire swept through me. The sensation was ecstatic and disorienting, and along with it came a flicker of both hope and fear.I became completely
I awake the next morning without my alarm screaming in my eardrums. The whole day had been declared class-free for the students to rest and adjust to the new changes they’ve experienced the night before. Even the Juniors and Freshmen were allowed to enjoy the one-day holiday.If only one day was enough for me to adjust to all the fuckery of last night.I sigh and snuggle deeper into my blanket, turning my head away from the sunlight and hoping to fall back asleep. Evin’s bed was empty. She’d no doubt gone to the art lounge to paint, since her art supply backpack is nowhere to be found, and knowing Evin, she’d probably gone there to escape any awkwardness between us as well.It’s not everyday that you trauma-dump on your roommate and admit that you blame yourself for your twin brother’s suicide. I sigh. Last night, I not only felt guilty for unintentionally triggering her, I also felt compelled to tell her the reason why I locked myself in the bathroom.And maybe I also overshared a bi
I should've anticipated the stares I’d get once I stepped outside. I didn’t.I wish I’d brought along my sunglasses, but the idea of going back to the dorm, facing Bibah and Wilma again discourages me from going back. The sun doesn’t decide to shine brightly on Acadia until this morning when I’m feeling the complete opposite of the weather. A little fog and a gloomy atmosphere mightve been more appropriate.I keep my face blank and bored as I cross the garden areas where most students are lounging; reading books, having picnics or just simply hanging out. I’m sure they’re only taking advantage of the suitable weather and the class free day, but it feels as if they’d come outside for the sole purpose of staring at me.Whispers follow me as I walk, but I don’t pay them any attention.I already know what they’re gossiping about; there goes the queen bitch who has lost her dearest prince charming to none other than the senior year’s beloved princess Jenny. Wonder who’s her mate now? D
I follow William back into his room. He grabs a faded gray t-shirt that has definitely seen better days, off the back of his chair and shrugs it on. Now that he’s wearing a shirt and I have less to ogle at, my attention moves around the room.On the mahogany table he’d been hunched over minutes ago, are half-finished sketches and about seven different charcoal pencils sprawled on the otherwise freakishly-neat study table. The bust of a dead philosopher stares reproachfully at me. A single face from the unfinished sketches catches my eye, mostly because it’s the only one not in black and white. I squint at the bright ginger hair and freckled face.It kinda looks like…William pulls a large sheet of cardboard paper over the sketches.“Is that me?” I ask, moving to take a closer look.He blocks my path, crossing his arms with a small frown. “No, it’s not.” He answers curtly, and I get the feeling he’s lying.“I’m pretty sure it looked like…”“Why are you here, Isabella?” He cuts me off i
Have you ever experienced that emotion that feels like a ball of thorns in your chest, so painful it makes you want to choke? Has it ever been accompanied by so much annoyance that you’re sure any second now you’re going to combust. Bitterness makes my jaw tight.I’m trying really, really hard not to notice the public display of affection going on between Jennifer Rooney and Ben, but they’re making it so damn obvious, I have to check the class again to make sure they’re not performing for a camera I can’t see.Ben whispers something into her ears and she giggles, slapping his chest lightly and cooing. She fucking cooed. I think I just puked a little in the back of my throat.Death, I’m ready, just take me.A few seats over, Bibah mirrors my look of pure disgust.I really wish we were sitting next to each other right now, but Mate 101 requires students to sit with their mates, so next to Bibah is Akio. They make a really cute pair, and Akio seems to be in heaven, contented with staring
The cafeteria is bustling with activity today. Most of the students cramming the large space aren't here to eat, but to gossip and chat with their friends, introduce their mates, and swap stories about how the mate night party went for them.Opposite me, Bibah and Akio are having a childish argument on something that has to do with ancient depictions of the color spectrum. Now and then, Akio would try to sneak a croissant from the delicacies laid out on the table thanks to Bibah’s baking skills, and I’d do my best to smack his hand away.Despite that, I’m not really paying attention to the present.I haven't been paying attention to the present for the past hour since we passed the two truths and a lie exercise in Mate 101. William’s last statement; his last truth, had invaded my mind like a parasite. I’m obsessive. What belongs to me stays mine. He had said it with such conviction, such grimness that I couldn’t decide if when my heart skipped a beat, it had been out of fear or fancy.
It’s interesting the kinds of secrets we keep, the hypothesized shadow self we hide from the world, and the nature of the skeletons we hide in our closets. Some secrets -some skeletons, are nothing but dust, some are rotten, with the flesh still clinging to the bones, and some sit in the shadow of their secrecy, sharing the darkness with ghosts of what they once was.Secrets points to us where our shame lies, and makes us understand the shame of others. I believe that nobody in this world is truly an open book. You might meet people that seem like an open book, but have burnt pages. You might meet people that seem like an open book, but written in a language only they can understand. We all have our secrets, we all have our shame; some more disturbing than others.I zoom in again on the files Wilma sent me.I’m pretty sure my sister’s stalking skills rivals that of the FBI, the CIA, and the KGB combined.This is solid proof. Screenshots of chats, blurred photographs of them caught in
I drop my backpack on my bed and sigh. It had felt like a good idea to come back to my dorm room and ditch the rest of the classes that I had for the day, so I could finish up on my assignments, but now that I’m here, I feel completely drained.“Don’t crawl into bed, don’t crawl into bed, don’t crawl into bed…” I mutter to myself like a mantra even as I pulled the blankets and prepared to dive headfirst into the pillows.My ringtone stops me.What perfect timing.I groan and yank open the zipper of my bag, rummaging through the books and makeup to pull out my phone. The picture of my mom doing the fish-pout selfie pose pops on my screen like a jump-scare. It’s uncanny how much Wilma is an exact replica of her. I tap the answer button, knowing it’s either answering right now or getting a thousand missed calls and an earful later.“Hi mo-““Bella, You missed my Skype!” My mom’s sharp voice stabs at my ears. “I skyped you this morning!”“I was in class, mom.” I reply, running a hand thro
I can't help the grin as it stretches across my face. Even when I tone down my teeth display for the camera, my giddiness makes my grin return to its full glory.These are the kind of joyful moments in life when everything aligns perfectly, and the future gleams with a brilliance that outshines the sun.Similar to tiny fireflies, the fairy lights surrounding us emit a soft glow in the approaching evening. My gaze shifts to the rows of people smiling and mingling, the white roses gathered in their transparent vases, the band playing an old classical melody that Akio Kamio has cherished for most of his life, and ultimately to Bibah's radiant smile, outshining even the stars in the sky.Bibah stands gracefully in her wedding gown, a vision of elegance and modesty. The gown's creamy hue complements her radiant complexion, and the intricate lace patterns and delicate beadwork trace enchanting designs across the fabric.Her head is adorned with a delicate hijab, carefully draped to frame her
The idea of dying... it's like staring into a dark abyss, wondering what lies beyond. Am I ready for it? Is anyone ever truly prepared to let go of everything they know? It's as if life is this intricate tapestry, woven with memories, experiences, and dreams, and death is that final thread that could unravel it all.I've heard people say that death gives life meaning. That the inevitability of our mortality forces us to seize the fleeting moments and savor them. Is that why we laugh, love, and strive to make a mark? To counteract the impending darkness?But what if it's not about the mark we leave, but the mark we've made on ourselves? Like, how every heartbreak, triumph, and mistake molds us into this intricate sculpture of a person. And maybe death is the moment when we step back and see the whole masterpiece.It's terrifying, though. The unknown. The thought of losing consciousness, of the world carrying on without me. Will I be forgotten? Will my laughter fade into the wind, like
The mountain top stretches out before us, bathed in the silvery glow of the moonlight. Jagged rocks and hardy shrubs dot the landscape, offering scarce cover. The air is crisp and thin, carrying with it a sense of anticipation. A veil of darkness conceals the treacherous precipices that lie beyond the edges.My heart races as we stand on the precipice, the night sky a blanket of twinkling stars above. The wind whispers of secrets yet to be revealed, as William's gaze scans the vast expanse. This was the kind of place he used to love—a rooftop under the sky.His eyes narrow, a flicker of recognition passing over his features, like a spark trying to ignite a long-dormant memory. I hold my breath, hoping that this moment will be the catalyst, the key to unlocking the past he's lost.Before my thoughts can fully settle, a guttural shout splits the air, shattering the tranquility. My head snaps towards the disturbance, and my heart lurches as seven figures emerge from the shadows, armed wi
“Are you sure this is the place?”“Absolutely.” I whisper back at William, uneasily glancing around the empty expanse of the beach. It feels like we’re about to break into a bank and steal cash. “Unless she invited me for breakfast in a friend’s apartment, then I guess we’ll be knocking on a strangers door.” I add in a rush of huffed out breath.William looks skeptic. “Isabe-”I step forward and press the ringer, cutting off William’s words. Time had passed us by while on the boat, and now it’s past the normal curfew of the resort. The demarcated areas outside the resort -including the mountain we’d impulsively decided to go to- were now closed off for the day. Since Tamie has been here her whole life and her family owns the resort and I somewhat feel as if we’re friends now, I thought that maybe asking for her help would be a good idea.Silence continues to answer me.“Mochi definitely came out of here.” I mutter, frowning at the whole modern shack like it had personally offended me.
“Maybe we should call it a win win and stop here.” I suggest, leaning back as the last few chuckles escape me, my laughter finally subsiding.William raises a triumphant eyebrow as he rearranges the chess pieces back to their normal starting formation. “Giving up already?” He taunts, smirking.“You wish.” I reply, rolling my eyes before sighing. “I’m just tired of staring at the pieces.”We have been playing cheating chess since after breakfast when I got back to the suite from my conversation and walk with Tamie. William had brought his chess board along from the pack estate, and had suggested we play it, in hopes that he might remember something again. There has been no luck in that area, but at the very least, we’ve had an unexplainable amount of fun as the hours flew by. We fixate on morals of the game, creating new rules, and finding more ridiculous ways to justify breaking the classical rules of chess.The sun is setting now, painting our beach-side view of the window a brillian
The very next morning, I wake up early, get out of the ball dress I ended up sleeping in, and took a quick shower, changing into more comfortable beach shorts and a loose tank top.When I leave the bedroom, William is still curled up in the sheets, sleeping. I call the room service and other an elaborate breakfast, hoping to return the heartwarming gesture he had done to me when we got here.Out of the breakfast of waffles, fruits, and a jug of a fancy cocktail blend fresh from the Island’s own produce, I only manage a single waffle before leaving the suite and closing the door softly behind me.Now, where the heck do I start looking for Tamie?I go out to the beach, taking the trail where William and I had first seen her walking her Pekingese dog. Well, more like where we saw her dog about to drown and rescued him.It’s a sunny day, the sand warm as the soft, fine grains slip in and out my flip flops. The ocean’s waves laps eagerly at the shore, and I squint into the far distance, in
Leaving the chaotic ballroom behind, we retreat to the quiet safety of our room. The tension of the night still lingers between us, though now it's wrapped in a cocoon of slight awkwardness.William doesn’t say anything, still steaming with remnants of his anger, and neither do I, as we enter the bedroom and he shrugs off his jacket. I notice a few specs of blood staining the front part of his white shirt.“You shouldn’t have done that.” I sigh, retrieving a first aid kit from a nearby drawer, sitting him down at the edge of the bed and gently begin tending to the cut on William's lip, my touch both soothing and reproachful.He winces at the disinfectant that touches the small split flesh where the silver rings had made impact."Oh, now you can feel pain?" I chide softly, dabbing the wound with an antiseptic swab. "Stop being such a baby. I know you were defending me, but there are better ways you could’ve handled the situation."Like poisoning the bastard.Or gutting him in a dark al
We spend the rest of the night and the following day simply talking and exploring. William asks a lot of questions about our time in Acadia Academy, and I try my hardest to answer him to the best of my ability, although none of my answers end up triggering his memory.Soon, the night of the ball arrives.Preparing for the ball is a whirlwind of anticipation and excitement. The vibrant energy that courses through me is infectious as I carefully choose my attire for the evening; my makeup already done and my hair painstakingly pinned up into an updo. The dress, a delicate masterpiece of flowing midnight blue silk, shimmers with an iridescent glow in the soft light of our suite. Its off-shoulder neckline adds a touch of elegance, and the intricate lacework along the bodice and hem hints at the craftsmanship that went into its creation. With every twirl in front of the mirror, I feel like a character from a fairytale.I don’t even remember when I bought the dress.The air is electric as I
I gradually stir from my peaceful slumber, the room cast in a gentle twilight as the sun dips below the horizon.I yawn.How long have I been asleep?As I stretch and sit up, I notice a beautifully arranged plate of dinner on the nearby table and a goofy smile overtakes my face. William must’ve kept it there for me. I glance around the bedroom and the living room for the second time, looking for him, but I don’t spot him anywhere.Where did he go?My stomach rumbles in response to the inviting aroma of the garlic butter stake and potato skillet, and I find myself savoring the delicious flavors as I sit at the edge of the bed with the tray and devour the food.Sated and content, I decide to take advantage of the cool evening air and to also look for William. I change out of my t-shirt and jeans into sleeping shorts and a bralette, despite the cool weather. The sliding glass door leads me to the terrace, where the world is adorned with the soft glow of moonlight. My gaze is drawn to the