James.All it takes for your entire life to come crumbling down is a second; a deadly truth. I didn’t think Sarah would tell Amara what transpired between us, I had hoped that if she was to know the truth, it would come from me.I thought I could bear anything life threw at me, but that look in her eyes—it still haunted me. The deep seated betrayal she must’ve felt. I hated myself even more because I knew that I hurt her when I’d sworn to protect her.No matter how much drink I gulped down, her tears were still at the forefront of my mind, mocking me.There was a soft knock on the door before Martha came in, concern written all over her face.“I wasn’t sure what to make Ms. Livingston for dinner as she hasn’t returned.” When there was no response from me, she added, “Do you know where she went? I’m a bit paranoid whenever I don’t see her because of what happened the last time.”It was hard to mumble a coherent answer. “She left me. She fucking left me.”She looked confused, as she fi
JamesThe words that came out of Cayden’s mouth sealed my worst fear. “You should tell him.”I’ve tried a million times since the incident happened years ago but I couldn’t bring myself to look at my brother and tell him that I was responsible for our parents’ death. What then would he think of me?“I know.” But it was a hard thing to do. I always managed to chicken out when it was time to talk about it. In truth, I was scared—what if he hates me because of it? Our relationship might never be the same.Considering he was my only surviving family, I didn’t want to lose him. I couldn’t. I cared for him more than I cared for myself, I wouldn’t be able to bear it if the past severed our relationship.Cayden put his hand on mine, “I know it’s hard but it has to be done. The last thing you’ll want is him knowing the truth from another source. He’ll feel betrayed that you hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him the truth. Do it before it’s too late.”Thoughts of how to face my brother plagued
James15 years agoThe rain was pounding heavily on the pavement that night. I was done with my fifth shift for the day and could feel the exhaustion in my bones. But I was doing what I had to do because I needed to take care of my little brother and myself.Considering our parents were not even at home most of the time, it was left to me to take care of my brother. I didn’t want him to suffer like I did, so I worked any job I could lay my hands on, multiple shifts a day.I was saving up to send him to school, and make sure he was always well fed and clothed. The rent was expiring soon and I knew my parents wouldn’t give a fuck if we were all thrown our on the street.The only thing that mattered to them was drugs. If they had their supply then everyone else in the world could go fuck themselves—including their own children.I was past the pity stage where I found myself crying from my bad luck on being born into such a family. I had a goal now, which was to give my brother the best l
AmaraI’ve been in the same spot on Ife’s bed since I made her room my hideout. The window blinds are drawn and the lights out. It’s all dark and depressing inside her room.I managed to turn Ife’s vibrant room to a messy little cave that I don’t ever want to leave. In here, I don’t have to worry about running into James again, or having to face my mother and talk about what she had done.Thank God I’d gotten my hair braided before this, it would’ve been a tangled mess on my hair right now.The music player on her bookshelf kept playing the heartbreak playlist I’d found on spotify. There was something about being sad and listening to sad songs that was very comforting. It made me feel seen and understood in this madness. I never want to get up from here. I was going to lie down here, cry my balls out and hope that someday I’ll become one with the bed. Hopefully, Ife would be very kind and not throw me out of her room.My phone buzzed on the bedside table and I picked it up. It was my
JamesI have never, through all my years of existence, considered myself an emotional man. I moved through everything with the philosophy that I could get whatever it is that I wanted by putting in the hardwork and doing my possible best in every situation.That was how I grew my company from nothing to a multi-million dollar company, opened many branches in the US, and was featured in Forbes. It had worked until now.I wanted to have Amara but all my efforts were going down the drain. I’d decided to give her some space to think everything through and come back to me, but that wasn’t the case and it drove me over the edge.The more she rejected me, the more my desire for her grew. It was hard to imagine a life without her, so I had to keep trying.My alarm went off and I knew it was time for the meeting with the branch managers, but I couldn’t get myself to move from where I sat.All that was on my mind was how to win Amara back, and have her stay at my side. It had hurt when she pus
AmaraIt’s been days and I still haven’t had the courage to leave Ife’s house for fear that I’d run into James. My defenses were beginning to wear down all the efforts he was putting to win me back. I was afraid that I’d finally give in to him.James Mckenna had the power to easily break my heart the second time, and I wasn’t going to let that happen. Which was why I was totally avoiding him. I made sure not to read any of the messages or emails he sent me. I just blocked him immediately and put my phone in Ife’s drawer where I’ll not be tempted to go through them. But, I was done wallowing in self pity, it was time to get up and move on with my life.Everything didn’t start and end with James. Although it hurt to admit that in my heart—it did.I stood up from the bed, showered and joined Ife where she was making breakfast in the kitchen.“Nice to see you up and about,” she said with a smile when I walked in.“I can’t be the sad heartbroken girl forever.”She raised a brow at me. “Wha
AmaraSpending time with my family helped me get out of the mental dump I’d found myself in. It was nice to sit down in complete laughter, enjoying the laughter and the food the cook had put her magic touch in. I slept over and went back the next morning to Ife’s place, only to find her sitting through a couple letters.“Have a secret admirer?” I teased, hanging up my jacket.“As if. These are for you?”I looked over her shoulder at the pink flowered envelopes she was holding. “I can’t think of a single person on this damn planet that’ll be sending me letters.”“Well, I can. They’re from James, maybe it’s time you give him a listening ear. I’m beginning to feel bad for him.”“You can do whatever you want with the letters.” I walked straight to the door and shut it after me. I sat on the floor, head hung between my knees. Why was he making it so difficult to move on from him? It wasn’t that I couldn’t forgive him, I just wouldn’t be able to trust him again. Going back to him would be
AmaraIt was finally here; the day of my grand reveal. I was well within my rights to be nervous, everybody else would.I’d been worried that people would not show up for the exhibition, why would they for an artist they didn’t even know what she looked like. But boy, was I wrong? The gallery was fully packed save for the small makeshift stage that was situated at the far corner where my name was put up in a banner.Ife was with me, but the more she tried to calm my nerves, the more nervous I grew.My family was not here yet and it made me worried. What if mum changed her mind about supporting me and saw the exhibition as a waste of her time?It was unfair doubting her like this. But, when you’ve been burned many times in the past, it becomes hard not to grow weary that it could happen all over again.“What if she didn’t get the invite?” I asked Ife.“Who?”“My mum, they’re not here yet. Do you think she bailed?”“You need to have more faith in the people around you, Amara. I’m sure
AmaraIt was finally the time for the election results to be announced. The election ended an hour before.Everyone was tense, our little family gathered in the dim lit study that was crowded with campaign materials and posters.We’d done interviews, appeared in shows as a family. This time we weren’t reciting the words that my mother’s publicist had written down for us.Everything that was said, all the laughter that was shared, came from a place of warmth deep in our hearts. One of the show hosts had commented on how lifely we seemed, had called it an election miracle and we’d all laughed over it.My mum said we’d celebrate, whether she won Mayor or not. But I knew deep down that she wanted that seat, and without being biased I knew she was the right person for the job. I listened with all focus, at the edge of my seat as the announcement started. We all waited, a sword could’ve cut through the tension in the room with ease.And that hell broke loose when mum was declared the winner
AmaraI was pretty sure anyone within a mile from me could hear how hard my heart was beating against my chest. It’s been forever since I had James near me. The feel of his lips warm against my cold skin sent my senses into a frenzy.Even as I waved him goodbye and watched him pull out of the curb, I could still feel him on me. I stood there longer than I should have, rooted to the spot, because I couldn’t quieten down my own heart or get my feet to move.I heard the door open before Ife’s shrill voice followed. “What are you doing outside in the cold? I didn’t think you were going to come back.”That snapped me out of my reverie and I followed her inside. “Why did you think that?” I hung up my coat and sat down on the couch. I wasn’t quite ready to call it a night.“I thought you’d be too busy making up in his sheets.”The image flashed through my head. I put my palms over my eyes. “Ife!”“I saw the way you were looking at him Amara, like you want to tear his shirt off and mask him
JamesWe had our dinner in complete silence, each of us consumed by their own thoughts. I wish Amara would just tell me what was going through her mind so I would know how to fix the problem between us.I drank all of my wine, and so did she. I could tell she was warming up to me from the way her gaze lingered too long on me, or how her eyes drifted to my lips when she thought I wasn’t looking.“Thank you for having dinner with me,” I told her when we were done.“I only agreed because of my mother, I don’t want to ruin the new relationship I have with her.”I wanted to call her bluff. Amara wasn’t the type to do something just because others asked. I’ll let her get away with the excuse because it brought her closer to me.“You can drop me off at Ife’s house, I haven’t cleaned my apartment yet so I’ll be staying there longer than planned.”I helped her with her coat. “The night is still young, and there’s somewhere I’ve been dying to take you to.”Her eyes narrowed at me. “You’re not t
James“Alright.”For a complete ten seconds I stood there without registering her response. I’d been so sure she was going to turn down my suggestion that I found it hard to believe that I was hearing right. “You’re going to give me a chance to talk things over?”“I just said yes James, don’t make me change my mind.”It’s a good thing I’d kept the reservation I made in anticipation for tonight. Cayden and Henry had tried to talk me out of it, that she’d clearly rejected me many times and I needed to give up.But I’d held onto the hope that I had. That she would remember the good times we had and give me a chance. Looks like luck was on my side. I wish I could flip my middle finger in their faces.“I made a reservation at a restaurant, just the two of us. If that’s okay with you.” I needed to play my cards right so I don’t upset her and have her banging the door in my face again. “I’m already having dinner with my family, we can just talk in your car. I think—”“Oh, Amara.” My mother
AmaraIt was finally here; the day of my grand reveal. I was well within my rights to be nervous, everybody else would.I’d been worried that people would not show up for the exhibition, why would they for an artist they didn’t even know what she looked like. But boy, was I wrong? The gallery was fully packed save for the small makeshift stage that was situated at the far corner where my name was put up in a banner.Ife was with me, but the more she tried to calm my nerves, the more nervous I grew.My family was not here yet and it made me worried. What if mum changed her mind about supporting me and saw the exhibition as a waste of her time?It was unfair doubting her like this. But, when you’ve been burned many times in the past, it becomes hard not to grow weary that it could happen all over again.“What if she didn’t get the invite?” I asked Ife.“Who?”“My mum, they’re not here yet. Do you think she bailed?”“You need to have more faith in the people around you, Amara. I’m sure
AmaraSpending time with my family helped me get out of the mental dump I’d found myself in. It was nice to sit down in complete laughter, enjoying the laughter and the food the cook had put her magic touch in. I slept over and went back the next morning to Ife’s place, only to find her sitting through a couple letters.“Have a secret admirer?” I teased, hanging up my jacket.“As if. These are for you?”I looked over her shoulder at the pink flowered envelopes she was holding. “I can’t think of a single person on this damn planet that’ll be sending me letters.”“Well, I can. They’re from James, maybe it’s time you give him a listening ear. I’m beginning to feel bad for him.”“You can do whatever you want with the letters.” I walked straight to the door and shut it after me. I sat on the floor, head hung between my knees. Why was he making it so difficult to move on from him? It wasn’t that I couldn’t forgive him, I just wouldn’t be able to trust him again. Going back to him would be
AmaraIt’s been days and I still haven’t had the courage to leave Ife’s house for fear that I’d run into James. My defenses were beginning to wear down all the efforts he was putting to win me back. I was afraid that I’d finally give in to him.James Mckenna had the power to easily break my heart the second time, and I wasn’t going to let that happen. Which was why I was totally avoiding him. I made sure not to read any of the messages or emails he sent me. I just blocked him immediately and put my phone in Ife’s drawer where I’ll not be tempted to go through them. But, I was done wallowing in self pity, it was time to get up and move on with my life.Everything didn’t start and end with James. Although it hurt to admit that in my heart—it did.I stood up from the bed, showered and joined Ife where she was making breakfast in the kitchen.“Nice to see you up and about,” she said with a smile when I walked in.“I can’t be the sad heartbroken girl forever.”She raised a brow at me. “Wha
JamesI have never, through all my years of existence, considered myself an emotional man. I moved through everything with the philosophy that I could get whatever it is that I wanted by putting in the hardwork and doing my possible best in every situation.That was how I grew my company from nothing to a multi-million dollar company, opened many branches in the US, and was featured in Forbes. It had worked until now.I wanted to have Amara but all my efforts were going down the drain. I’d decided to give her some space to think everything through and come back to me, but that wasn’t the case and it drove me over the edge.The more she rejected me, the more my desire for her grew. It was hard to imagine a life without her, so I had to keep trying.My alarm went off and I knew it was time for the meeting with the branch managers, but I couldn’t get myself to move from where I sat.All that was on my mind was how to win Amara back, and have her stay at my side. It had hurt when she pus
AmaraI’ve been in the same spot on Ife’s bed since I made her room my hideout. The window blinds are drawn and the lights out. It’s all dark and depressing inside her room.I managed to turn Ife’s vibrant room to a messy little cave that I don’t ever want to leave. In here, I don’t have to worry about running into James again, or having to face my mother and talk about what she had done.Thank God I’d gotten my hair braided before this, it would’ve been a tangled mess on my hair right now.The music player on her bookshelf kept playing the heartbreak playlist I’d found on spotify. There was something about being sad and listening to sad songs that was very comforting. It made me feel seen and understood in this madness. I never want to get up from here. I was going to lie down here, cry my balls out and hope that someday I’ll become one with the bed. Hopefully, Ife would be very kind and not throw me out of her room.My phone buzzed on the bedside table and I picked it up. It was my