…Isabella POV…
I am twenty-eight weeks pregnant now.
I am feeling all the best parts of being an expecting mother. I have not stopped counting how many times Clayton rubs my belly. But which is even more precious is when we go to bed in the evening, if he manages to keep his hands to himself, he finds the time to read 'The Cat In A Hat' to our little baby boy. I wish that he did not read that to him, for I find a cat wearing a bow tie and a hat very disturbing.
But apart from this, he nearly has the nursery to the way that he wants it to be, though what I am surprised about is that he has not used as much blue as I thought he would do. But I can almost say that there is nothing that our little baby boy will lack, for he has gotten him every little thing you can think of that a baby will need.
So, after not being able to keep his hands to himself and splashing around in the bath, we are now officially late for our appointment at the Doctor to
Watching Isabella is she is about to say the very word, there is a crippling fear that is settling over every bone in my body. Yes, I have done this without telling, yet saying it was because I was mad is not an excuse. So, I have put tension between us again, and we are not even married for a full day.There is only one thing that is consuming me now…and that is…FEAR.Why? Why must such an emotion come to bring you down in moments when you should feel happy.Well, guess what?I have known fear fo a very long time. My whole life, to be precise. We've been together through everything, the good times and, yup, definitely the bad. Looking back, I wonder why it was there when I've been happy, why it questioned my happiness, but I guess it just didn't want to feel left out of the party. It just wanted to keep reminding me that it was there, like a security blanket, promising to never leave my side.So as I have to
...Isabella POV…I have a rather excited Marine in front of me that can barely contain the smile on his face. It gives me great pleasure that I am the one that has put it there.But he has got one condition, which will come after we have lunch."Soldier we are meeting Anna at the pub, no buts.""Boo, I am in shock; I need to recover." He looks at me with pleading eyes, "Can we not make it another time?""No, you can recover on the way there.""But…"" Clayton Jackson, you are not getting out of this. If you want any, then you will come now."He gasps as he gets into the car, "That is called bribery, and we both know I am not.""Well, maybe I will change my mind.After much convincing, he finally agrees to have lunch with the girls. I love that he would do absolutely anything it is that I ask.Yet, "I am going to strangle you for making me come to this girly thing.""Stop complaining and
To say that I am not feverishly mad shall be an understatement. I want to lay waste to all that I see in front of my eyes. I want to rip everything by the seems apart. God forbid the one that shall cross my path, I shall tear their skin off, each layer by layer until they are but only bone. Now, I find myself furious and pissed off. Yet Isabella has no idea, and I am not giving her one either. So much to her irritation, I ignore her very questions and rise to my feet, and head for the door. I hear her snap after me, "Where are you going?" "I have something I need to sort out." With that, I leave the room, shutting the door with such great force that the paintings along the wall vibrate. As I head towards the lounge, the tears that have been threatening to consume my eyes and edge their way down my face come rolling with s
What was a scuffle between gentleman, which I had the upper hand, has now led into a stand-off. As I take a gentle spin on my heels, all that is staring me in the face is the barrel of Ruger. This leads me to advise him of only but two things, “If I was you, and god, I am glad I am not, for if you do not drop your fucking hands, you all will be finding yourself where the ray of the sun doesn’t reach.” For but a few seconds, I watch as he hesitates, yet, “I need not remind you who is the one better with the gun.” Yet he does not seem to take heed of my warning. So with only but a smirk on my face, I take my stance and step but two steps back. But as I make that single step, I see the fear creep into his hesitating face, though only but short-lived for a moment as he raises his voice, “Now, I suggest that you drop your gun while you are still able to walk
..Isabella POV...Clayton has left the room; he seems angry and is about to burst out in a fit of anger. I know the truth needs to be revealed, but he is scared beyond compare, and right now, I am the last person that he wants to see.So as he leaves the driveway, I grab a comfy blanket and my notebook to start planning for the arrival of our little Jackson Junior. But I soon find myself writing him a letter."My dear Clayton,For days I've been looking for the right words to express my feelings to you. To the man I love.And I hope I won't disappoint you because there is so much I would like to say to you, and there are not enough words to explain my deepest thoughts about you.Thank you for entering my life when I least expected it and when I most needed it.Thank you for regaining my hope when I'd almost given up on my dreams to find someone with whom I'd share my laughter and tears and with whom I won't be afraid to be who I truly
The silence has suffocated the room; you can hear a pin drop. The anticipation that I am about to lose my restraint is a possibility that lies high in the tense air of the room.I have yet not even listened to what Isabella has to say, but the mere fact that the man was in my house is enough to set my blood aflame.Does this woman not understand the concept of a boundary, the whole idea of not letting people into our home that is not welcome here? How am I supposed to trust her when I get deployed?God knows I love her, but sometimes she drives me insane. Can she not think? Can she simply not put together what is right and what is wrong?So as she still tries to speak for what I think I do not want to hear, I make my way to our room before I completely blow up. The raging anger that is suffocating every corner of my body lets loose like a beast. As far as my feet take me, every single object that finds itself in my path shatters in pure brute force agains
As the shadows grow longer, I exhale deeply. Night is coming, and it feels both a shelter and an interminable hole where I find myself.Wherever I turn in my life, it seems that all the exits are blocked, the options for freedom or choice dwindling or limited. The drumbeat and drone of a persistent hopelessness play out their mournful rhythm. Life is closing down on me.All throughout life, I get these rippling tidal waves of doubt, fear, and loneliness. I tend to put myself down more than I can get myself up. I see the world with a grain of salt because I have been dangerously walking through a road covered by fog.There is the tendency to give up rather than push on until the fog has cleared. The worst part of it all is when a fork comes in the road, and both paths fill me up with crippling resistance.With the uninvited feeling comes the darkest moments in my life.What is my purpose?That question haunts and taunts me l
Monsters come in all shapes and sizes. Some of them are things you are scared of. Some of them are things that look like things you used to be scared of. Sometimes monsters are people that you should be scared of, like take me, for instance…A crazy Marine with a gun.Fear isn't so difficult to understand. After all, weren't we all frightened as children? Nothing has changed since Little Red Riding Hood faced the big bad wolf. What frightens us today is exactly the same sort of thing that frightened us yesterday. It's just a different wolf.Just a different man.It's true; I am afraid. I am afraid of the world moving forward without me, of my absence going unnoticed. Is it selfish? Am I such a bad person for dreaming of a world that ends when I do? I don't mean the world ending with respect to me, but every set of eyes closing with mine.It is as if the world needs to stop and take stock with me of what I have done wrong.I am afraid.