The shortcut was very short indeed and equally cold and narrow. My heart was in my mouth the entire time we rode on that narrow road, hoping and praying no bandits would pop out and attack us. Eric looked capable enough but he couldn't possibly be as strong as Julien and what if there are more men this time?
I was so relieved when I saw Durnca come into view finally; it was already dark and my body ached from riding nonstop for hours.
"Durnca, my lady." Eric said curtly, gave me a nod and he left! Just like that? How does he expect me to find my way home? Home...? Did I just call Rashord home? With Julien and the children? Ann and Eden? Yes, they are my family now. I just had to get our last family member and we'll all be together.
I kicked my horse forward but slowly as people moved about and some stopped to stare at me. I ignored the stare and kept my eyes forward, wondering what pa and Hailey would say when they saw me.
A crashing sound caught my a
No words passed between us until we got back to my house. Julien went in first to take a look at Pa while I saw to the horses. In a few minutes, Hailey came rushing out, grinning and blushing like a new bride after the wedding night. "Tell me Gwen, is that your captor?" "Yes, that's Julien. Handsome, isn't he?" "Handsome?! I've always thought Albert was the most good looking gentleman, but that man over there looks like... like..." She was struggling to find a word that best describes Julien's looks. "Like the Lord Himself." "Hailey! That's blasphemy." "Oh, forget that. They say the Lord created us in His image but Julien is the exact copy of the Lord." "I'm not listening to your nonsense before I get punished alongside you." I looked away from her and securely tied the horses' reins and took off their saddles. Then I got water for them before turning back to Hailey who studied me. "You seem upset. I was only maki
Hailey came by early as she had promised to say goodbye to us. I couldn't tell how but Julien already had Eric bring his carriage over as pa wasn't strong enough to ride. I really didn't want to leave Hailey again, but we couldn't be little girls forever.I begged her to continue feeding my animals while I'm gone and she agreed, then we hugged before I entered the carriage with pa and Julien.We took the shortcut again and there were no bandits. When we got back to Rashord, it was late and the children were already sleeping in Ann house, all except Arthur.Ann sat with him on the porch and as soon as he saw the carriage, he was already running towards it even before I could come down."You came back!" He shrieked, jumping around until I came down and accepted his tight hug."Of course I came back. Why did you keep your Aunt awake? That's not nice." I said as I carried him in my arms."It's alright, Gwen. Don't scold him." Ann came over too a
Arana was beautiful! It was so beautiful, I wondered why we lived in Rashord when Julien worked in Arana. The entire town was bright and it looked like everyone was well to do, not one house was poverty-stricken. I guess having a young Duke paid well.As soon as the carriage stopped in front of the Duke's mansion and we got down, Alan and Maya ran into the mansion and I would have stopped them but Ann said it was okay. How was it okay? Unless they had been there a lot of times and knew their way around.Ann took Arthur with her and they went in too. I had to forget about the children for a moment, it was my first time in such an environment, I had to blend in. I fiddled with my gown, one of the new ones I made for myself, wondering if it was nice enough for the party."Stop doing that." Julien laughed beside me, taking my hands away from my gown. "Trust me, you're the prettiest lady here tonight.""We haven't even entered yet and I am certain that my gown
It was my happiest night yet! I smiled my thanks to everyone as they congratulated me and commented on my dress. Then I saw Hailey!"Hailey?" She was smiling at me and we hugged."Congratulations, newest bride. You are really glowing." I blushed slightly."How did you...? Everything happened so fast, I...""Forgot about me?" At my guilty expression, she laughed. "I understand my friend, but your husband sent me a horse and a travel guide.""He did?" Julien really couldn't stop amazing me. First Pa and now Hailey; it really was my happiest night. I studied Hailey as she played with her fingers looking down and I knew she had a troubling issue on her mind."Hailey..." I placed a hand on her shoulder. "You really have to tell me what is wrong. Did Sammy harass you? Did you fight with your ma again?""No, it's not that...""Then what? Tell me, I will do something about it." She smiled weakly."I know you can but it is your w
I had just waved goodbye to Pa and I went back into the house to do the dishes when I heard Alan and Arthur arguing by the trees. It did not sound like one of their little arguments, Alan sounded very angry and his temper was a bad one, so I went out to know what the problem was."We agreed and you're breaking your promise. She is not your mama and if you keep saying that, I won't be your friend anymore." I heard Alan clearly as I got closer."But I don't want to go back, I like mama..." I got there in time to see Alan push Arthur hard."Alan!" I rebuked, getting their attention. They both stared wide-eyed at me, then Alan ran away and Arthur followed him, straight to the lake. Were they going to run on the ice? It wasn't strong enough!"Stop! Don't run on the ice, you will fall..." I didn't get to finish as I watched in horror as they fell in, first Alan and then Arthur.I didn't stop to think, I ran after them and into the ice cold water to rescu
We didn't leave the house until late in the day after four more rounds of love making. We would have stayed in more but I wanted to be sure the boys were alright.I changed into a different gown and headed out of the house, unlocking the door. Arthur was right on the porch stairs, sitting and looking really sad."Ar...""Gwen." Julien called, cutting me off and I turned around to him. His eyes were on Arthur's back and they seemed to be brooding over something."Yes?" He pulled his eyes away from Arthur to me."I need to talk to you." He trailed off."Alright? What is it?" I encouraged."It is about the children and this house... I mean, it is about me. I thought you would be like..." The sudden sound of hoof beats interrupted him and we both turned to see a man riding towards the house."Work." Julien muttered. "It won't take long, I will speak to him and then we shall talk." With that, he left to meet the rider halfway and th
The carriage took us all back to Arana and to the Duke's mansion; I had no doubts anymore, Julien was really the Duke.After he left, while we waited for the carriage, An... Martha tried to apologize to me, but I took Arthur into the house and locked the door. I couldn't believe my own childhood friend, my cousin would do such a thing to me. But why? What did she stand to gain? If she's married to Julien's brother, then her husband must surely have a title to his name; that means they're well-to-do. So, why would she need to drag me away from Durnca to deceive me?"My Lady?" I paused between putting my few clothes in a bag and turned to Arthur. My lady?"Don't call me that, Arthur. I am your mama." He looked down at his fingers. "Come here." I instructed, sitting on the floor, the same floor where Julien and I... I shook my head to clear the thought. I loved every bit of our lovemaking, but now I know it was all a lie, I felt foolish for giving myself away like
I remained in my prison for six days, only letting in Eliza and Arthur. After the third day and I grew tired of the boredom but still so stubborn to leave my room, I asked Eliza to get me things for sewing, I needed to make presents for the children since it would be New Year soon; so I thought of making a doll for Maya, not that it could compare to the ones she had or that a gift from me was necessary... And for the boys, I planned to make bow ties for them.Now, I was done making the bow ties and was still on Maya's doll... Sitting and sewing alone in my room on New Year's Eve; not that I didn't miss being with everyone, but I wanted to stay away until I decide on what to do. It was painful, crying myself to sleep every night and always wondering Julien was...A knock on the door jolted me away from my thoughts, it was either Arthur or Eliza, so I asked whoever it was to come in."My Lady!" Hailey grinned at me with mock curtsey. Hailey! I've been dying to see
I was tormented by thoughts.It would have been easier if Julien left like that, but he just had to say those words to me, making me restless with tormenting thoughts. I had to wonder if I was doing the right thing by denying my love and refusing to be with Julien, I couldn't decide.I thought by the time Julien returned from his trip, I would be ready to get on with my life without worrying about my feelings; but now, I wondered if I should forget my worry and accept to be with him.Yes, he was Gwen's husband but now she's dead, I am in charge of the children as she wanted and now I'm really in love with Julien, also as she wanted.Did she somehow see the future? Did she know I would eventually fall in love with Julien and she gave me her permission beforehand? That sounded like something Gwen was capable of, she was always after my happiness. Why then was I still denying it and refusing to be with Julien? Maybe I needed some kind of reassurance that I was doing the right thing, or m
He looked surprised at me, unable to say a word."But I can't be because you are Gwen's husband.""Alexa...""I can't blame you or myself because it was bound to happen, Martha thought so too. The only way we can help the situation is to avoid each other and my feelings will naturally die.""Why is that the only way? Why can't we nurture it and let it bloom?" I stared at him, what was he saying? "I am no longer Gwen's husband, we all lost her but that doesn't mean we can't move on with our lives. It would be wrong if Gwen was still here, but she's not and to be honest, she did give us her blessing. So, why should we shy away from our emotions?" Was he talking about Gwen asking him to marry me? Has he really been thinking about that all these time? When he says 'ours', does he mean he feels the same way too? No, probably not."I can't... it's not right.""Alexa..." But I didn't listen, I left him there and went to my room.I spent the rest of the day thinking about Julien's words, Mart
Arthur avoided me for the rest of the day, he always looked away when I was close to him and he walked away before I could say a word.He barely even touched his dinner and insisted that Julien tuck them in for the night. It really made me sad and uneasy.I had to wait in Julien's study for him to tuck the children in. We still had to talk about Cecilia and I had to thank him for finding her.I sat on the soft couch in his study and waited, lost in my thoughts, wondering how I could get Arthur to talk to me again. I couldn't let them call me mother, I just couldn't. No matter how much I...The door opened and I straightened. Julien looked a little surprised to see me there."I thought you went to bed." He said as he came in, shutting the door behind him."I wanted to talk to you first." He nodded and came over to sit next to me on the couch."What about?""About Cecilia... Thank you for finding her, I didn't know you were searching for her at all...""I have, ever since you told me sh
"Did you see that?!" I nodded to Arthur's question, he was pointing at a spot where a hawk had swooped down to grab a prey which appeared to be a lizard."It was so fast!" He said, running to the spot and looking up as if he could still see the bird. I only smiled.Arthur seemed happier now, he could smile and play with his brothers again; he didn't cry in his sleep anymore. In fact, it's been two months since I've heard him mention his mother or cry for her.It's been seven months since Gwen's demise and I missed her so much, I was getting used to my everyday life with the children and Julien; our pretend family. I call it pretend because no matter how many functions I attended with them, being their stand-in mother, I was still Alexa and not Gwen. I could never fully be their mother, no matter how natural I was with them.Sometimes I would be lost in thought and wished Gwen could see her boys grow and it would bring tears to my eyes, but I would remind myself that no amount of cryin
It was morning and we had just said goodbye to Papa Benjamin and Papa Ramsey, now it was time to say goodbye to the dowager duchess, Frederick, Martha and their children.Arthur was upset, so he refused to say goodbye and stayed in bed. We couldn't force him, the child was hurt.Julien was carrying Eliott and the sleeping Eric was in my arms as we watched them get on the carriage, but then Martha suddenly came down and came to me."Can I speak to you briefly?""Of course." I followed her as she led me all the way to the library. "What is wrong?" I asked her when she finally stopped."I didn't want to say anything but I couldn't bring myself to leave without saying it.""Saying what?" She stared at me for a moment and I waited."Gwen loved you a lot, so much that I believe she loved you more than she loved the children.""That is not possible.""But it is. She always spoke so highly of you and when she got sick, she was always saying strange things that I couldn't understand.""Strange
"What will you do now?" I was sitting at the garden alone when Pa Benjamin joined me, sitting next to me. Gwen and the baby were buried two days ago, but it did nothing to soothe the ache in my heart; it still didn't feel real to me. I keep expecting her to jump out behind me and tell me it was all a joke.The funeral was a big ceremony and even Robert and his wife had to come with their children, as well as Gwen's acquaintances and the entire population of Arana... after all, their Duchess just died.Papa Benjamin and Papa Ramsey came immediately we sent a letter to them. Of course, Papa Benjamin was furious that we hid the truth from him and he missed Gwen's last moments, but he managed to calm down after a while.Julien didn't know how to go about explaining the situation to Arthur, so I went with him. As expected, he child was devastated and he reminded me so much of Cecilia. I wasn't going to let him feel alone, not ever. I assured him that he still had Julien and I would be wit
I sat there, crying my heart out, not even minding the stares and whispers of the people around me.I couldn't move.The little pieces of my heart that was still in place just got shattered by Cecilia. How could she leave me? And worse, how could she join the bandits? Those murderous band of thieves? The thought of that little girl, going around, hurting and stealing from people made my heart ache. She was just so young, not even nine years yet."Alexa!" I heard Papa Benjamin call but I didn't move, I didn't even look up."Alexa, what are you doing on the ground? Did you find Cecilia?""She left." Was all I said. He reached for me and pulled me up."First get up. We can still find her, she mustn't have gotten far.""Pa, she didn't just leave. She joined the bandits.""She what?" I looked at him then. His eyes were wide in shock and he looked tired. But of course he was, Christopher left abruptly, Cecilia couldn't stop crying and now she has disappeared with strangers. "Joined the ban
Cecilia couldn't stop crying.As soon as Christopher got on his horse and rode away, Papa Benjamin must have seen him leave and sensed something was wrong because he came running out of his house to find Cecilia in my arms, crying.Of course he had a few words to say about Christopher after I explained what had happened, but the truth was that there was nothing any of us could do. Cecilia wasn't his real daughter, I was barely even his wife; he had no real bond in Durnca and now he has left for his real home.Fate had a way of giving me the worst all the time. I was barely above a toddler when my mother left me, my father just had to abandon me too and just when I was finally opening up my heart to love someone... he leaves me too.But I had to be strong, for the little girl that needed me.Yet, she wouldn't stop crying. Not even papa could distract her; she just hugged herself and cried even more.I sat by her bed, begging her to stop crying and eat something at least, but she wouldn
"That would be me." I turned sharply to Christopher."You? You are Gideon?" He came closer and took the letter from me."Yes.""I... I don't understand. You're Chris...""My real name is Gideon." I suddenly began laughing."You're jesting. You can't be Gideon and be Christopher at the same time." He didn't smile, his eyes were sad."I am Gideon Griffiths, from...""No..." I said, shaking my head."Alexa, you have to listen...""No...""I'm not really a Hallewell, Mr Hallewell only took me in and called me his son. I know where I'm from and I've always known I will go back one day, that is why I never wanted to get close to anyone.""No, it's not true." My heart ached and my throat felt on fire. This was much worse than an ex-lover coming back, he was part of a whole different world."Alexa, it's all thanks to you. If I hadn't met you, I probably wouldn't have finished my last test. Meeting you, changing the way I look, marrying you, that's what helped me pass and now I can go home.""