6. Destination

Amber Brown

 

The next day I got out of bed feeling all crushed, I cried for countless hours thinking about what I was going to do to get by, I searched all over the room that Mom used, in the vain hope of finding the ring that she had managed to save during the robbery, maybe I wanted to delude myself with the idea that she might have screwed up and forgotten it.

But of course, I was fooling myself, nevertheless, hope is always something very strong in us, I wanted to believe, maybe force myself to look so that I wouldn't feel as abandoned as I was feeling at the moment.

After exactly two hours of looking for nothing anywhere, I decided to go downstairs, I couldn't stay in that situation any longer, I needed to find solutions, and looking for that damn ring was turning a blind eye to my current reality, and it wasn't favorable for me at all, I needed a job, and that's what I would do from today onwards, I wouldn't stop until I found one, no matter where or where I would only stop when I got it.

I left the house that day, and for the next thirty days, absolutely nowhere I left my CV would call me, I ate very little, but now I officially had nothing left to eat, the situation was very delicate, I felt that someone was deliberately harming me because nothing and no one anywhere would hire me.

How was that possible? I was practically begging for a job, I almost barely offered to work just to have food, and even then it wasn't possible, this is America, and jobs aren't that hard to come by.

I was controlling myself so as not to fall into despair, but the situation in itself was already quite desperate, completely desperate, I had already been to all the shopping malls, snack bars, and make-up companies, and I didn't know what else to do, or where to look for a job, I was sitting on the living room floor because I still hadn't got used to that disgusting sofa, thinking about what I would do to get out of this until I heard someone knocking on the door, I slowly got up and went to it to open it.

"Bob!" I felt like crying at the humiliation of letting him see me in that position.

"Can I come in?" He asks me politely, and I nod, then he comes in and sits down on the kitchen stool, and I go to the other side to make him something to drink.

"Would you like some coffee?" I ask and just then I notice that the powder has run out, I swallow back the tears, and they come down like stones in my throat "Or water?" I changed the offer in the hope that he won't notice the situation I'm currently in.

"I'm just stopping by to see how you're doing! My daughter told me she didn't get the job, I don't know if she's got anything..."

"Not yet, but I'll get it soon Bob, I'll be working soon" There was such a clear distress and desperation in my voice that Bob's expression immediately softened.

"You don't have to go through this alone Amber! Take the job! Clara told me that the position is still open and asked me to let you know that if you still want it, just show up at the company with your documents as soon as possible, ready to work, and you'll be hired!" I looked at him feeling like crap for depending on his benevolence. - Don't be proud!

"I'll get a job," I said insecurely, clinging to my pride, I didn't want to give in.

"Are you sure?" The skeptical tone in his voice didn't go unnoticed "You're an adult and you know what's best for you, but be aware that this job won't be available forever, if I were you I'd think about it carefully and make a positive decision about it, think about it!" He spoke calmly, there was a veiled mercy in his voice, something very close to pity, and I had to make the greatest effort of my life not to collapse right there in front of him, it was too humiliating.

I hadn't noticed, but in his hands there was a supermarket bag, which he put on the counter as soon as he got up to leave, I followed him and opened the door for him, Bob waved to me and left, without further explanation, he must have deduced that I was in a situation like this, I can only think that accepting to work for him is the best option I have at the moment, as much as I didn't want to, I already knew what my fate would be.

I locked the door of the house feeling like crap, went to the counter and opened the bag, in it there was a ticket card so I could use public transport, and there were some groceries, some meat, bread, cheese, canned beans and a bottle of milk, enough for at least a week without going hungry, I spotted a pot of yogurt and that was the end of me, I started crying again, opening the pot and devouring it with a pleasure that I had forgotten what it was like.

How long had it been since I last drank a miserable yogurt? I opened the can of beans to eat, I was hungry, I hadn't eaten all day, I took out all the food and put it in the cupboard, feeling how miserable I was, even without meaning to Bob was rubbing it in my face, I had nowhere else to run, surrendered I went up to my room to lie down and try to sleep.

Tomorrow I'd have to get up early, and I'd have to go through another humiliation with Dylan when he returned to ask for the job I'd spurned last month, but tomorrow I'd be going there knowing exactly the hole I was in, aware of my situation and the need I had to start work almost immediately, I prepared my mind for our inevitable meeting.

There were no choices for me, fate was already set in stone and I knew it. This awareness was frightening and disturbing, which caused me to have a bad night's sleep rolling from side to side trying to understand how life was being so unfair to me. Of all the things I could have imagined for myself, definitely, none of them were even close to the situation I found myself in. The frustrating feeling of knowing that there was nowhere to run still ran through my bones, bringing me great regret.

To my relief, I fell asleep quickly that night, but I had erotically hot and disturbing dreams about my future boss.