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The past is not the past

Author: Simran
last update Last Updated: 2022-12-06 22:41:30

The past is in the past, that's what we think. But is it true?

No!

Because the moment that you think about it, our past becomes our present.

2019, was marked on the journal. This means that she wrote this journal last year. She was having mixed feelings about this journal.

It was going to answer the questions that she didn't even asked.

She started reading...

18 July

Dear diary, today I am happy. After a long time I am welcoming the day with a warm hug. And there is only one reason behind it, Ian.

Since he joined our school in 6th grade, I have been waiting for the day when he will ask me out. But sadly that never came.

I was always invisible to him. He never spoke to me. Well that's only partly true. I mean ones he stopped me to ask the way to hall and the other time... Sorry, there wasn't any other time.

I am not sure if it counts. Let's make it count because that's the only thing I can mention in this list.

I lost all hopes when he started dating that bitch, Ava. It killed me to
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  • The Mafia's Queen   Ava

    "I..." I stammered. I hated myself that moment. I made notes about how I would greet him today. But I ended up stammering so yeah I was on to a good start. "I am just kidding." He chuckled. He was looking so hot. His abs were peeping from his t-shirt. I couldn't help but imagine how it would feel to touch them. Renee joined us. She was smirking, I knew why. "I will see you girls around." Saying so he went inside. I was disappointed. I was looking so beautiful but he didn't even complimented me ones. Complimenting me was far, he didn't even looked at me like I wanted him to. I have seen him looking at Ava. We went inside. Beer bottles were strewn around. People were either making out or getting drunk. Renee's eyes sparkled when she spotted Leon. The sparkle changed into tears when she saw how close he was with some girl. He was taking to the girl but his eyes were on her breasts. He send the girl away when he saw Renee. "Break up with him. You still have time Renee." "He se

    Last Updated : 2022-12-07
  • The Mafia's Queen   I have never been happier

    "So I guess it's Ian and Ariadne", said Ava. I saw that Ava rolled her eyes at me. But who cares now? I was naive to think that if I told Ian that I liked him, he will say it back. My heart was pounding in my chest. "I guess so." Saying so Ian got up. I waited all my life for this moment and now it was finally here. He lead me to the closet. I knew that Renee must be freaking out. He locked the door and looked at me with those eyes. The eyes that had the power to kill me. I gave him a smile. I wasn't sure how else I was supposed to react. if it was on to me I would have hugged him so tight that he couldn't have left me ever.... "So we have seven minutes " He smirked. He had the face of a hero and the smile of a devil. "We have seven mintues." I could have answered better. I could have asked him if he had anything in mind. But no, I just repeated what he said. He walked towards me. "Ian I wanted..." Before I could even complete my sentence he pushed me against the wall.

    Last Updated : 2022-12-08
  • The Mafia's Queen   Home alone

    20th July: Dear diary, Renee hasn't talked to me since we fought yesterday. I didn't meant to yell at her but I did. I wish I could rewind the time. She is staying at her friend's house. She is the only person I can talk to. I can't afford to loose her. Sometimes I can't believe that we both are not real sisters. When I woke up this morning I promised myself that I won't hover over everything that happened yesterday. i will keep that in the past and at least try to be happy. But that thought didn't lasted for long. When I checked my phone earlier today I saw a post from Ava. She posted a picture of me with my dress soaked in wine, thanks to Leon. The photo went viral. Everyone in college was reposting it. I became a joke. They were calling me by names. This was too much. I deactivated my account. So for a while I will cut myself from social media or maybe I will just cut myself off from people. Dad called me in his room. He was reading a book. I knocked the door, "Dad

    Last Updated : 2022-12-09
  • The Mafia's Queen   Date to prom

    Ian was sleeping beside. I started at him all night. I was living my dream. It is hard to believe in love when you come from a broken family. And today I found true love. I never wanted this moment to get over.I caressed his face gently. He rubbed his eyes and woke up. I kissed his forehead, "Good morning, Ian."He took a moment to process like he was expecting me here. He must have had a bad dream or something."Morning" He said."Last night was beautiful.""Hmm."Yeah, that was what he said. I got a little self conscious. Maybe I did something wrong that's why he was acting cold but how is it possible. I didn't do much. It was all him.Wait a minute! Maybe that was the problem. Or maybe he is always cold in the morning. I don't know because it was the first time we woke together."I want you to be my date to prom." He said."What?" I repeated because I was not able to believe my ears. Every year the most beautiful girl of college goes to prom with him and that's Ava. But this year

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  • The Mafia's Queen   Rebound?

    Ava came and stood close to Ian. It killed me to see how close she was standing to Ian. What killed me more was that he was not pushing her away.She checked me out from top to bottom. I knew why she was acting like this. I copied her look. I even tied my hair like she used to do.I am not a copy cat but Ian has been with Ava for a long time. He noticed me for the first time in the party when I was dressed nothing like me. He loved Ava so I figured out that I could be loved by him only if I will look like Ava."So this is who you are replacing me with with." Ava smiled.He grabbed her arm and took her in the corner. Fu** his privacy. I stood behind a pillar, I was close enough from them to hear them."Ariadne, seriously. Can't you find anyone better." Ava smiled."I can be with who ever I want. It is none of your business."Come on you can't be so angry just because I said that I can't go to prom with you.""So that's it?""Fine... I slept with James so what? Why is it even bothering

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  • The Mafia's Queen   Singing competition

    I got mesmerised by the lyrics. They showed his pain that he was trying to hide. He was trying to act like a cool dude who didn't cared if his girl friend broke up with him. They were for Ava. How could she leave him? She didn't deserved him. She cannot do justice to him love. He deserved someone who will give him love as much as he will give her, like me. I will love him even more. All his life he has loved, I want to show him what it's like to be loved. I just stared him play. He called out to me and burst my little bubble. He was looking at me with confused eyes. He was now expecting me of all the people. How do I know? His look said it all. I woke back to reality and greeted him with a smile. "What are you doing here?" He asked me. "Oh I was looking for you." "Is it?" He moved towards me with slow steps. I was feeling nervous, scared, excited, all at the same time. "I never knew you could sing." I made a desperate attempt to change the topic. "My music is my com

    Last Updated : 2022-12-10
  • The Mafia's Queen   Am I not good enough?

    Ian and I had a minor set back or not. Who cares? I know that he will be so glad after I will tell him that I am reuniting him with his dream.Maybe he will happy and hug me. What if he will propose me? He did ask me to be his date to the prom.I was walking home with Renee when a black car honked behind us.I looked back "Hey girls." Ian said. He opened the car door, "Jump in I will drop you."Renee started giggling. Ian rolled his eyes. I know he gets annoyed when anyone teases him. Especially if he is being teased by my name."We can walk, thank you Ian" I said."What are you doing?" Renee pinched me. It hurt me but Ian was in front of me so I had to act cool. "I have to stop at Caitilyn's house. Ariadne you should go with Ian."I nodded along. I sat in. I was trying to not look at him straight away. I have no experience of being in a relationship whatsoever but every time I was with him I had this weird fear in my heart that something will happen and he will burst out at me."Hi"

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  • The Mafia's Queen   Prom shopping

    Ava always went prom shopping with Ian. Not that I wanted him to but me a dress but I wanted to spend some time with him.I was wondering if I could call him after what happened or if I should call him after what happened. He treated me like shit. He forced himself on me.But then I thought that every relationship has some ups and downs. So I kept my self respect at side and called him.The line was busy. I got disheartened but he called me the very next second."I am sorry." This was the first thing he said. I will admit that I was a little hurt because of the way he treated me but when he said sorry my heart melted."It's ok." I was so glad that I called."I over reacted but you stepped on my nerve.""I am sorry.""Why did you call?" He asked me."I was going prom shopping me. I was wondering if you want to come.""Cool." He said."Really?" I was not able to believe that he agreed."I will come to pick you up in an hour." Saying so he hung up the call. Ian agreed to go with me this

    Last Updated : 2022-12-13

Latest chapter

  • The Mafia's Queen   Blame game

    The morning sun next day brought new hopes and desires.John's health was showing improvement"which was a good sign.Doctors said that if he continued to recover this way then he will be able to go home very soon .Olivia was with John.They both were reliving their old days.Everyone was thinking that John will loose his life but no one thought that he will find it.Olivia was taking great care of him"being it his medicines or his food.She was handling everything herself.John was feeling good to see Olivia taking care of him .She was showering her love on him.All the emotions that she buried deep in her heart came to the surface.She was show casing nothing but love to him but when he acted like a child while taking his medicines"she acted like a strict mother .Leon was in the hospital with them .Avawas connected with them by phone.She wanted to come there butLeon thought that it will be better if she stayed back because she was very sensitive and the aroma of hospital made her sick....

  • The Mafia's Queen   As long as we are together

    Ava started to think that he won't show up.She kept on checking her phone if he left any message but he didn't.It was already 12.She thought that there was no point in waiting any longer.She got disheartened.She typed to him that"HiLeon"where are you ? I am waiting for you." She was about to press the send but then she thought what if he decided to back off from their wedding.YesAvatold him that she didn't wanted to marry him but none of these words were true.She knew that he will beg her to not leave him.But what if Jessica made a mistake by saying that ? What if the space that she gave him made him realize that he was better without her and that he deserved to be with someone better.Someone who won't leave him .She blew off the candles"she decorated the room with .She looked outside the window it was drizzling.She sniffed .She went to close the window.And there she sawLeon .He was sitting alone in rain."Leon !"She didn't say it out loud but he heard her .He stood up and looke

  • The Mafia's Queen   Lover's spat

    Ari drove to Cloud Wave hospital.According to Dr. Cooper's neighbor"he worked here now.Ari hated hospitals"the sickening smell is nauseating.And she was a germaphobe.Blood creeps the hell out of her and there was one more thing that she feared about the hospitals.It was less scary and more weird.In the same place some start their lives and some lives end.Some start their stories and some have to put an end to theirs.Some cry and some laugh.Some find hope and lose all they own ! All of this in a single place !It is weird right ?And more over she had some harsh memories with the hospital.Not this"but all in general.It was in a hospital her life shattered .oA man walked in with an angelic face but an arrogant personality.His face was rough but still a delight to watch.And his abs peeped out of his white shirt.He rolled his shirt up.His hands looked so firm"wonder what will it feel like to have them round your waist .He was the kind of guy every girl will fall for. He bumped against A

  • The Mafia's Queen   toxic

    Ava was trying to manipulate Leon to blindly obey her.When she thought that he was getting more inclined towards Ari she moved out of his house.She knew it very well thatLeon will do anything to get her back.He needed her and he could not afford to let go of her.She was chilling at her house withAvawhileLeon was guilt ridden because he thought that he sabotaged their relationship.He was feeling like a failure because he thought that he failedAva. He failed to stand on her expectations.How different was the definition of love for both of them ?~~~Leon knocked the door . Ava went to open.She knew it wasLeon.But then she thought that if she opens the door it could seem like she was waiting for him and she had nothing better to do that sitting and missing him and waiting for him to come to her door.So she signed Sara to come to her.She whispered her to open the door and tellLeon that ever sinceAvacame from his house she has locked herself in her room and she is not letting any one in.Th

  • The Mafia's Queen   Flashback

    Flashback:Dear dary,It was already hard enough for me to cope up with the fact that my dad was no longer with me but then I found out that he wasn't even my real dad.My mum had an affair he was just kind enough to keep me. It is stupid o expect Claire to be quiet after this.~~Claire walked in the room ;Claire:"What are you still doing here ? I thought you left."Ari:"I will leave in a short while , I just wanted to feel his presence for the last time."Claire:"Well I guess you are done now because it's time for a clean up."Ari:"What do you mean ? "Claire:"Come on in."Claire called in two men that were waiting outside the room to be called in .Claire:"You can start packing from the book shelf then you can do the cupboard."Ari:"Wait, what is happening here ? Who are they ? "Claire:"They are from a charity house they have come to take Kevin's stuffs with them."Ari:"What? no , who called them ? "Claire:"I did.Isn't it obvious."Ari:"Why will you do that to dad ? "Claire:"He

  • The Mafia's Queen   You can’t leave them

    The darkness creeped over. The blue sky was turning grey. The light breeze was taken over by storm.And Ari was lying helplessly in the car.“Ari” She heard a whispered. She forced her eyes open.She parted her lips to say, “Dad?”“You are not alone.”“Look at me dad, I am a mess. I have no one. I know I am dreaming but I don’t want to wakeup.”“What about your daughter?”“Maybe she will be better of without me.”“They need you.”“Who they?”“They all rely on you.”“Who are they dad?”“You can’t leave them.”

  • The Mafia's Queen   Darkness crawls

    What the hell was happening? She drove as fast as she could. The car was chasing her.She was loosing her mind. She thought that maybe she was hallucinating or something. The road was quiet with only two cars racing with each other. The car came and hit her.That son of a bitch.But Ari ignored that. She was a little dizzy so it was getting very hard for her to drive. And suddenly the car banged against hers, she lost control and her car hit a tree.She was not wearing seatbelt. Her head hit the steering wheel and blood oozed out of her forehead.

  • The Mafia's Queen   The dead returns

    Ari was so confused she had no idea what was going on. But it was driving her crazy. She felt like for a second she found herself in a totally different world.A world where she was not like how she used to be. She sat in her car to drive away. She just wanted to get out from this place. For a while she thought that maybe this place was haunted. There was something different in its aroma. She was feeling like something was trying to get onto her. Maybe a truth. A car was honking behind her. She looked at it. “Wh..?”It was the same dead guy.

  • The Mafia's Queen   Someone

    What was happening? It was so confusing for Ari. She was not able to process it. And suddenly she got a head rush. She swayed from side to side. Her body was not able to hold her weight. She fell on her knees. She was feeling like someone was hammering nails in her skull.And suddenly she saw a faint vision. It was her but only by face if that even makes sense. She had a guj in her hand and she shot someone. What worsened the situation was that the someone was Leon. What was going on. She was panting.

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