CHAPTER 4: Submission

My clothes and other needed things are packed and ready. I swing my bag to my back, sidle my way through the hallway, then stop at my parents’ bedroom door. I wanna see their faces before I go, but my hand twitches before it can even nudge the doorknob. 

If I enter their room, they will question why I’m wearing a coat and a pair of boots with a bag on my back in the middle of the night. And if they’re asleep, I may wake them up. I don’t have the heart to tell them what Alpha Allen and I are planning to do. It’ll hurt them and I don’t wanna witness that pain. I’m sure they’ll understand why. And I’m sure they’ll forgive me. They’ll support me, like they always do. 

My desire to see my parents for probably the last time surrenders against my wimpiness. I move away from their shut bedroom door and head down the stairs. Then, I tread out of our house with both the guilt of not saying goodbye to my parents and the determination to start a better life with Alpha Allen hovering all over me. 

I quickly look at my wristwatch as soon as I arrive in our pack’s garden. It says, two minutes before midnight. I hope Alpha Allen doesn’t come here late. And I hope nobody tails him here. 

When my wristwatch strikes at twelve. Alpha Allen is still nowhere. I can’t even smell his scent anywhere near. My heart joggles in my chest when unwelcome thoughts colonize my mind.

Oh please, don’t tell me he’s ditching me again! 

I’m desperately knocking the thought out of my head to allow calmness to creep instead. But no matter how much I ignore the possibility that he might be lying, I can’t. My memory of our disastrous wedding keeps haunting me. 

Five minutes, which soon becomes ten, pass and my patience is petering out. I draw a stiff breath, then murmur,

“Ok. I’ll wait ten more minutes. If he doesn’t come, I will…”

“What will you do?”

A low, hostile voice reaches my ears. The hairs on my arms erect as the air around me turns so rigid and becomes impossible to breathe in.

My knees judder as I’m pivoting towards where the voice comes from. Alpha Primo is standing tall at the entrance all by himself. His face is clenched and so do his eyes. I search for a good lie to tell him, but my mind is so disorganized that I can't even think of a single word to say.

“Allen won’t come. He can’t betray me for you. You should’ve known that,” he says.

So, he knows that we’re eloping? How? Did Allen tell him? Or did he just find out? I wanna know the answer, but asking him won't make any difference. I’m caught and I’m doomed! 

“Your refusal to the mission I offered to you and your attempt of stealing the next Main Alpha from his pack are proof that you’re not worthy to be a Luna.”

My widened eyes squint at that. My distaste towards his claims finally heaves the words out of my mouth. I counter, “First of all, it’s my right to refuse a mission fit for an Alpha or a Beta. If I’m already a Luna, then sure, I’ll do the mission. But the fact that I’m still a Delta means that it’s not my obligation to get killed for a mission that isn't aligned with my responsibities.”

Alpha Primo’s wrinkles deepen as his glare darkens. Even so, I press on standing my ground.

“Second, eloping is your son’s idea. I just agreed. Therefore, I didn’t attempt to steal him from the pack.”

Alpha Primo’s lips pinch to one side, an indication that something insolent is about to happen. Before I realize how devious he can be, different scents from all directions loom while screeching noises fill the unwished-for atmosphere. The vibration of my chest strengthens when pairs of heavy boots plonk behind me. Before I can budge, pairs of big hands grab my arms. 

“No! Let me go!”

The Gammas inconsiderately squeeze their arms around mine while settling their collectively enormous weights on me. Pain twists on their grips. I wiggle my body while waving my arms as aggressively as I possibly can to free myself. However, the more I move, the more painful their grips become.

“Bring her to the Alpha’s residence. Someone who’s as stubborn as she is must be punished,” Alpha Primo commands.

My movements give up against their grips. Fear gyrates through me, congealing beads of sweat on my skin. I don’t know what kind of punishment I’ll get, but the accusation that I attempted to steal Alpha Allen from his obligations to our pack, makes me think that what awaits me, if not close to death, is death itself.

The noise we’re creating as I’m being dragged to the Alpha’s residence seizes the attention of my packmates. The sudden burst of lights from the array of houses brighten up the dim surrounding. When my packmates’ curiosity amplifies, they either peek their heads through their windows or they bust off their doors. Some eyes are inquiring, while others are blazing with anger - anger at me for disturbing their peaceful night.

I’m so fixated on freeing myself that I don’t notice my parents rushing towards me. Dismay ripples through me when I hear mama’s trembling voice.

She asks, “What happened?” 

Not only that she’s given a cold shoulder, but she’s also shoved by one of the Gammas when she tries to get closer to me. She moves back in staggering steps while papa catches her from behind to give her some balance.

“How dare you push my mother?!” 

Anger coats my voice as I pitch my glare at the Gamma. He doesn’t respond, let alone glance at me, which escalates my anger to fury. I wiggle my arms again and more aggressively than before. But just like the last time, instead of freedom, it’s pain I’m acquiring. 

My parents plod with us, while maintaining their distance from me. I can barely look at them out of shame. I can’t accept that I put them in this distressing situation for, again, trusting a man who can’t settle on a plan of action. 

I try to gather even the tiniest courage to glance at mama and papa, but before courage comes to me, I’m hurled through the Alpha’s residence’s wrought-iron gates, where the lower ranking lycans aren’t allowed to enter unless the Main Alpha says so. With that, I can only listen to my parent’s cry behind the towering gates and let my broken heart break more. 

Instantly, when we set foot in a cube-like shade located in the massive property’s backyard, I gasp in disbelief as my faltering eyes land on Alpha Allen’s sweaty and wounded, n.aked, upper body. His arms are manacled up on the ceiling while his mouth is gagged with a cloth. His eyes are half-closed and his breathing is dangerously weak.

I swing my view to Alpha Primo who’s striding next to his son. His face isn’t moving again. His eyes are empty. There’s no remorse, not even a regret.

He looks down at me, then declares, “I want that woman to receive worse punishment than Allen. Hang her to death.”

Fright squirms through me. That fright refuses to allow the Gammas to lay a finger on me again. 

“Stop!” I yell. “I’ll do whatever you want just please release Alpha Allen and please don’t kill me!”

“There’s nothing I want from you,” Alpha Primo says.

“There is,” I swallow hard to ease the dryness of my throat while trying to relax my rough breaths. There's nothing I can think of but that 'one thing' to hopefully save us. Accompanied by reluctance, I continue. “The mission we discussed at the garden,... I accept it.”

That silences Alpha Primo, making me assume that he’s considering my submission to his authority. The mission is deadly, but at least, I still have a chance to survive if I succeed. That mission is better compared to the punishment I’ll be receiving.

His silence is taking longer than I’m hoping it will, so I press ahead. 

“If you allow me, I’ll leave before sunrise.”

Alpha Primo hunkers down, then whispers, “That’s a deal. I expect you to not fail. If you do, it’s either the enemies will kill you or I will. But if you succeed, I’ll forget what happened tonight and I’ll let you be Allen's future Luna.”

Tears moist the corners of my eyes. When the heaviness of my heart becomes too much, those tears carry on its weight, they fall hard. 

Not long after, Alpha Allen is released from the manacles. He’s too exhausted and weak to carry himself that when he’s freed, he flumps to the wooden floor. I crawl towards him, but stop when Alpha Primo gestures for me to go away.

“My son isn’t yours yet. Don’t even bother to act like it,” he says. “Go home and sleep. Before sunrise, the Gammas will escort you to the borders of our pack’s teritory, then two of them will send you to where your mission will begin.”

He’s right. I don’t own his son, but so does he! I pity Alpha Allen for having a selfish, heartless parent like him. My parents aren’t able to buy me branded clothes and shoes or shelter me in a big house or afford expensive meals, but they’ve never and will never hurt me or force me to do things against my will. 

I may appear firm on that belief, but my tears fall harder when I realize that I’m as pitiable as Alpha Allen. If I fail on my mission, I’ll die. And even if I succeed, Alpha Primo will be my future father-in-law. Both aren’t good in any way.

Just like Alpha Allen, I’m freed from the Alpha’s residence. But unlike him, I don’t get a single scratch or bruise. My vision is blurry, my nose is clogging and my head is spinning when mama and papa meet me at the door of our house. They usher me inside and into the kitchen.

“Why did Alpha Primo bring you to his residence?” papa asks, while pouring a pitcher of water into a glass. 

The only way to lessen my agony is to liberate some of it. Plus, my parents have all the rights to know what happened. I quaff the glass of water first to soothe the heat in my chest and after several heavy sighs, I grant my agony to flow through my lips.

Mama and papa’s attention doesn’t depart from me the entire time I’m telling them what happened. Their faces, though worried, are proclaiming great understanding. However, when I get to the part where I have to talk about my mission, their faces wrinkle and their shoulders rigidy. 

“I won’t allow it!” papa grunts, slamming his fist on the table. “I’ll ask Alpha Primo to give that mission to me instead.”

“I appreciate that, but it’s best if I do it on my own,” I reply. “The success of the mission won't only make Alpha Primo pardon me from his accusations agaisnt me, but it'll also prove how worthy I am to be Alpha Allen’s Luna.”

I clasp my fingers into theirs, then squeeze theirs tight. 

“I know it’s hard and scary for all of us, but I have to do it. Otherwise, our packmates and our Main Alpha will only continue to look down on me even after my death.” I pause to draw a heavy breath, before adding, “I promise I’ll do whatever it takes to come back alive.”

Knowing that we’re all powerless against the Main Alpha, mama flops her face to her palms and cries while papa confines us in his stretched arms. 

I can’t lose against my fear. I’m stronger and capable than what others think of me. I swear, when I come back after this mission, I’ll gain every lycan’s respect.