Chapter Five

VETTA

If you're going through hell, keep going. That's all I can say to motivate myself. You won't find a way out if you stop to wallow in self pity. I don't know what I feel. Is it sadness? Is it rage? Maybe it's both.

 I should have walked away from my father when mum died. Took Olive and disappeared. Mum told me to, begged me to. It was the last thing she asked before she died. She knew how this would turn out, but I didn't listen. I couldn't bear to leave my father alone. I love him too much. I knew if I left, he wouldn't last a day in these streets with all that debt. Sooner or later, he would be killed. My heart couldn't bear it. I just couldn't do it. How do I leave him at his worst? Now I feel like a fool. A big fat fool. I've gotten myself trapped with no way out. 

As I speed walk back home, I'm overly conscious of my environment, taking in every movement and motion, every flicker of light and imprinting to memory, making sure nothing is off. They could be watching. No, they're watching. I know they're watching. From the shadows, undetectable. I distract myself and focus on the pressing the stress ball in my hand. I read in a book that it eases tension, and it's been very effective for me. 

I get home and I'm about to insert the keys when I notice something isn't right. I take a step back and look around. The windows are black, the house is dark. There's splatters of blood on the floor. I stop dead, my palms turning clammy. 

  Oh my God!

  Olive!

I rush back to the door and push it. It's open. Someone broke into the house. Did they hurt her? Or worse, take her. As I enter and flick the lights on, I stumble over a beer bottle and look down to see a trail of blood leading to our worn out sofa. My mind conjures the worst. Slowly I walk to the sofa, armed with the taser I always have in my bag, only to see my father, passed out on the couch. Much of the blood seems to be from a deep cut in his left leg.

What the hell happened?

Seeing him eases me a bit, but doesn't repel the emptiness, or sick feeling rushing up my throat. I want to check if he's okay, but I'm more concerned about Olive.

Where the hell is she? 

I check the rooms and the bathroom. No one. I step out of the house and lean on the wall, trying to collect my thoughts. The silent hum of electricity and crickets serve as a good distraction. I squeeze my ball, thinking of where she might be. Lightning rips through the sky, the sound lashing out a beat later.

Mrs Lee. It's a wild guess, but I want to believe she's with Mrs Lee. Mrs Lee isn't exactly the best hands to leave a child in. She runs a brothel and has a very uncanny way of doing things, but she was mum's close friend, and honestly the only person I can trust right now. 

I remain alert as I go, staying under street lights, my steps purposeful. The brewing storm dissolves, taking with it the rain and giving me one less problem to worry about. I'd already been praying for it to hold, I can't afford to catch a cold. 

The walk to Mrs Lee's is about 25 minutes. I'm scared an exhausted from all the work I did today. I couldn't get any of my old jobs back, but I was able to secure being cleaner at the local diner. Worry over my sister outweighs the fear and exhaustion. 

Olive never leaves the house. She never has reason to, except for when she used to go to school. If she's at Mrs Lee's, then something went wrong.

I can't shake off the gnawing feeling that Dinero may have a hand in her disappearance. Men like him are dubious, cunning. But I can't blame him, he can't trust us too. Tomorrow is the awfully awaited day. He may want to make sure there's no funny business.

There's a scrawny looking man lying in the corner. I can't tell if he's dead, or just passed out. It's none of my business anyway. Every man for himself. I've got too many problems.

As I get to Mrs Lee's house, I hesitate before knocking on the door. 

Please let her be here.

It's flung open and Olive tackles me with a tight hug. Relief spreads over my body like warmth, down to my toes.

    "It's okay honey" I say, rubbing her head. "It's okay, let's go inside." I'm talking to her, but also myself, willing myself to relax now that I know she's safe.

Mrs Lee's house feels like home, smells like home. Like spicy food and peaches. My nerves calm down instantly the moment I step in.

    "Vetta?" She calls from the kitchen and steps out wearing and apron.

    "How many times have I told you not to leave that poor child at home alone? What is wrong with you, you wanna get her killed?"

    "I... It's not-"

    "I keep telling you, she can stay here." She bats out, pointing her spatula at me. I laugh nervously and rub my neck.

    "I just don't want to be too much of a bother, you already do so much for us."

    "What nonsense! You could never be a bother sweetie, and I love Olive too much." The smell of smoke fills my nostrils.

    "Are you roasting something?" I ask. 

    "Oh my goodness, my chicken!" She shrieks and runs back to the kitchen. I chuckle and shake my head. 

I turn to Olive. "What happened?"

    "Dad came home drunk, with a big wound on his leg. I was looking at it, trying to clean it up when there was banging on the door. He told me to run, so I did. I jumped through the window, but I waited a while and listened. It's some men from a casino. He owes them a lot of money".

I take a deep breath to calm my nerves. I didn't think they'd actually come to the house. I mean, I knew there was the possibility of it, but I hoped it wouldn't happen. And now I know there'll be more of that happening soon.

    "Did you tell her?" I asked, signaling to the kitchen with my head when Olive gave me a confused look.

    "Oh, no. When she asked, I just told her I was lonely and hungry. I really am hungry."

    I take her hand in mine and stare intently at her. "You're a strong girl Olive. Stronger than you ever know. And I'm proud of you." She gives me a small smile and engulfs me in a tight hug. Just then Mrs Lee walks back in and it's my cue to leave. I need to go make sure dad is okay. I was so worried about Olive, I didn't even care about the terrible shape he was in. 

    "Mrs Lee I'm so sorry but I can't stay for dinner, I've got some errands to run, but can Olive sleep here tonight?"

    "No, no, I'll come with you." Olive cuts in.

    "Oh come on now honey, give your sister a break. Let her get things done. One night wouldn't hurt, would it? Plus, I could really use some company." Mrs Lee really is a life saver. I know Olive wants to come with me because she wants to see Dad too, but I need to have a conversation with him and Olive is too young to hear and witness some things. I'm trying my very best to make sure she's shielded from all the rubbish, but so far, it's not been so good. I really wish she could have a normal life, like a normal kid.

    "Thank you so much Mrs Lee. Olive I'll be back in the morning, I promise." I tell both of them and leave the house. I remember the sweet meal I would me missing and groan. I hate this.

I don't know what we're going to do about all the money we owe, but we need to do something somehow. I wonder just how much and how many people my dad actually owes, it's sickening. He's so selfish, putting all of us in danger like this. I feel tears sting my eyes, but I blink them back rapidly. I'm not going to cry. Tears don't fix anything. 

This night could have been worse. It could have been Dinero's men who came for us. Lord knows they would have done worse than beat the crap out of my dad. They could have taken Olive, or even shot my dad just because. Dinero isn't really one to trust when it comes to making deals and offers. He's the devil himself, very cunning.

I haven't been able to get him off my mind since. All the while I had pictured he would look like a monster, but seeing his face literally sucked all the air out of my lungs. I was shocked. How can someone so beautiful be that evil, carrying so much darkness. His beauty can fool people who don't know him. But his eyes, those eyes don't lie. There's no light in them. It's the eyes of one who has seen and done so many things. The way he looked at me sent shivers down my spine.

I don't know what I was thinking when I said I was going to pay. It's impossible, downright impossible, but I had to try. It was either that, or he would kill my dad, or all of us even.

As I get home, dad isn't in the living room anymore. I check round the house and he isn't anywhere to be found. "Where the fuck did he go?" 

Frustrated I sink to the floor and let the tears I've been holding in spill. I'm so confused, I'm scared, I'm tired and I don't know what to do. If there's a God, I need his help right now.