I pop the champagne as Violetta passes out flute glasses. Both Angel Clinics opened today. The Angel Clinic for low income families and really anyone who needs medical care is a true success. The papers even wrote a glowing piece on the Angel Clinic and the positive impact it already has on the community. Meanwhile the Angel of Death Clinic is scheduling patients. The best part of all of this is watching my sweet Little Dove, my Butterfly glow with happiness. She has such a passion for helping people and she chose to do that by becoming a nurse. Knowing my ambitious Violetta she is already plotting to further her career somehow. The clinics aren’t just great for Violetta, they have turned out to be a great place for Erica to thrive as Violetta’s assistance. I also love how they are forging a friendship. I’m proud of Erica and how she has completely turned her life around. She even snagged herself a good man in the form of my best friend. I don’t care if they are together. They seem t
I’m unbelievably happy to be in scrubs again with a stethoscope around my neck. I still can’t fully wrap my mind around the fact that Nico built this clinic for me. Yes, he found a way to do some illegal things with it, however, I actually agree with him on assisted suicide. Obviously, there’s a process we have developed to screen patients and their families to ensure this is truly the patients choice, and that they are sound of mind. Just because we are doing illegal things doesn’t mean that we don’t need to have checks and balances in place. Especially with the morally grey area that assisted suicide falls in. Besides the morally grey area of the Angel of Death Clinic, the legal side of things are also going well. I love that we are able to help a vast amount of people who might not have gotten care due to finances. That’s one of the hardest things I had to process as a nurse was watching people not be able to afford medical care or medicine. I know I come from a privileged backgr
Two days ago Violetta was attacked by an unknown attacker. We thought it might be the Russians finally making a move against the bigger mafia families, but there’s no proof that is the case. We just ended our meeting with the Irish and even they aren’t sure what to make of the attack. The biggest and almost worrisome question is it wasn’t the Russians than who the fuck could it have been? It’s no secret that being in the underworld you are bound to make enemies for one reason or another. Sometimes it’s as simple as having what your enemy desires. We are certainly a target with our success of the cusinos, the Angel Clinics, and control of most of the docks. With the Italian faction being completely united and clearly we won’t be divided makes us a threat. The Russians are clearly making waves with their attack of minor mafia families it felt like they would come for us or the Irish. So the attack made us all jump to the assumptions that it was the Russians, but it might not be them wh
It’s been almost two weeks since my attack. We still don’t know if the man who attacked me was associated with the Russians or perhaps another enemy we aren’t fully aware of yet. This is the downside to underworld life. It’s one of things that made me want to run from this life. For so long I fought against this life and the attack was a reminder of why I never wanted to come back to this life. It was a jolt to reality from whatever fantasy land I’ve been living in. Things were going so smoothly without much incident that I forgot about the dangers that can lurk in the shadows. There would have been a time that the attack would have sent me running for the hills, changing my name, and hiding away in fear. I’d be lying if I said if there wasn’t a part of me that felt that way. I wanted to run far away from the underworld. It was my first instinct to be honest. However, leaving the underworld would mean leaving Anthony and Nico behind, and I can’t fathom my life without them now. They
I’ve just arrived at the casino. Fuck, I swear sometimes I feel as if I live in this fucking place. There are seriously some moments where I would be fine if I never heard the sound of pinging slot machines ever again in my life. I enter my office and set my venti cappuccino on my desk debating if I’m about to make it an Irish coffee. Violetta has her anti anxiety pills, Anthony has his killing and torturing, and I have alcohol as my stress reliever. When you live in the old world you’re bound to have a couple of bad habits. All of us are edgy since Violetta was attacked mainly because we don't know who it was. It’s totally possible it was random, but nothing is ever truly random or coincidental in the underworld. My worry is it’s the Russians. Shit, part of me almost hopes that it is them because it would almost make things easier. If it’s not them then we might have bigger issues at hand. Not knowing shit in the underworld can get you killed. The most disturbing thing about this wh
Violetta slides into the town car we are taking to meet the Russians. The woman is ready for battle with her makeup expertly done by Erica I’m sure, a form fitting dark red wine wrap dress paired with a black leather crop jacket, and black heeled thigh high boots. Fuck, she looks sexy. I notice Nico soaking up our queens sexiness. Usually, we would play a bit with her before we arrived at our destination, but we are all a little unsure what to expect with this meeting. Yes, we know they want a treaty, but that doesn’t mean we will agree with their terms. The Irish are curious as well as to what an alliance with the Russians would like. They certainly aren’t a warm bunch, but then again are any of us? You have to be a bit cut throat and slightly morally compromised to live a life in the underworld. However, the Russians have a reputation for being less of friendly than the rest of us, so for them to out of the blue want an alliance, I’m not sure how I feel about it. I’m skeptical to s
The meeting with Misha went smoothly. I don’t know what came over but when he offered the alliance with the condition of marriage between our children. Well, his son and our future daughter I wanted to refuse. I wanted to scream at him and ask him who he thought he was to ask something of a child not even born. I felt everything my father shoved down my throat came rushing back. All the hard work I’ve done to undo the shit colored lenses that he put over my eyes seemed to temporarily disappear. It was when I heard Nico say we couldn’t agree to it that something in me snapped back to reality. The reality that I have control I’m not a fucking pawn and neither is my future daughter. I’m a damn queen now and I have a say in how the game is played. The truth is, we need this alliance with the Russians for a variety of reasons. We benefit greatly from it. I also don’t want sex trafficking to become something that this city tolerates. We can’t stop it all, but we can at least stop the main
The next morning things feel surreal as the last night's events replay in my mind. I’m beyond proud Violetta. She is emerging out of cocoon beautifully and in ways I didn’t see coming. The fact that she agreed to an arranged marriage for our future daughter still shocks me especially how dead set against she was to marry me for years. Technically, we had an arranged marriage. It helped that we were friends because it softened the blow. With Anthony, Violetta was promised to him too so technically they too had a type of arranged marriage it’s just Violetta didn’t know about it due to her father being a sneaky fucker. I understand wholeheartedly why she agreed. In the underworld it’s not uncommon for marriages to be arranged in some fashion. It’s perhaps medieval thinking to secure alliances with marriage, but when the rules of the regular world don’t necessarily apply to you there has to be a way to hold accountability. Arranged marriages are a way to hold that accountability. Having
Max and I have been married for a little over five years now. We have two sons who are Irish Twins because they are born less than twelve months apart. After my miscarriage, I was so devastated. Thankfully, I had an amazing support system that came around me. I was so angry at myself because I was focused on getting pregnant because that’s where I thought my issues lied. I was wrong, but thankfully with my mom on top of everything we quickly resolved the issue. When I got pregnant a couple months later with Misha, I was a wreck of emotions from happy to full on anxiety of losing the pregnancy. With careful monitoring from my doctors I carried to thirty eight weeks and gave birth to Misha Anthony and then about when he was about two and half months old I found I was pregnant with our second son Dimitiris Nico. I thought it was a fucking joke when I got pregnant with Dimitris. It was not a joke, and I was very glad to have not only Max to help me, but Nat as well. Nat has turned out to
It’s been about six months since we officially took Chatworth down. The media ate up his suicide. It was a satisfying victory and with our revenge satiated Toni and I focused on starting our family. We had a good surprise about four months ago. Toni got pregnant with what felt like so easy, considering we were expecting a battle to even get pregnant. Turns out that getting pregnant wasn’t the issue Toni was going to face, but her challenge comes with keeping the pregnancy. In the wake of her miscarriage, I felt fairly helpless to help her, which is why I was thankful for Nat living with us because she help me care for Toni after her procedure. Toni was only nine weeks old, but she needed a procedure to clear out the failed pregnancy. Violetta, Lucy, and Roxy have been helpful with Toni’s recovery. With testing they were able to figure out that Toni needs progesterone supplements during her first trimester minimum possibly the whole pregnancy. At least we have an answer, but even then
This is a surreal moment in time. Max sent proof of my father’s dead body a mer minutes ago and I’m still staring at the picture with a bag of mixed emotions. Relief is the biggest emotion coursing through me. My whole life my father has forced his control over my life. I’ve never even known what it was like to embrace my own self because I had to bury it deep down to survive. When my father sent me to cozy up to Max, he was supposed to be just a target. A means to end. My father was promising me freedom, but I know now it was all a lie of manipulation. I don’t know the full story behind my father and Misha, but they were friends at some point. Then one day they become more enemies. I’m sure it was my father who did something he shouldn’t have against Misha. The first moment I saw Max, I was attracted to him and it made sex easier. It’s hard to have sex with someone you don’t find attractive. I ended up keeping coconut oil or unscented lube to make myself easily wet so the men I was
“Good morning, Toni.” Nat greets. We decided to only use our nicknames when we are playing. Except for Max and I because we are married and clearly in a romantic relationship. “Morning, Nat.” I reply, flipping the french toast. “Is that French Toast?” Nat questions with a smile as she walks over to where I’m cooking on my built in skillet that is next to the stove. “It is. You earned it.” I wink at her. I told her last night that her reward for pleasing us like a good girl that I’d make her favorite breakfast. She earned it all right. “Good because I was really hoping I’d wake up to it.” She says as she moves over to make herself a cup of coffee. I giggle at her as Max walks freshly showered from his work out. He strides over to me and kisses me on the lips. “Morning, Princess.” He says breaking our kiss. He glances over at Nat. “Morning, Nat.” “Morning, Czar,” I reply, flipping a couple of pieces that need it. “Morning, Max. So, is today the day you think?” She questions as sh
It’s been a couple of weeks since Natalia essentially moved in with us. She is staying in one of the spare rooms. Our house has six bedrooms, and while I do want kids, I do not want more than two. Maybe three, but that’s my limit. Of course, all of that depends on how easy it is for me to get pregnant. Although, I’m glad I have the option to even try. As a woman, I’m outraged at what Chatworth did to Natalia. He had no right to take her womb for her. He stole her chance to be a mom and he did it in such a dirty way too. However, Natalia is at peace with the fact that she can’t have children. That doesn’t mean I won’t make sure Chatwroth doesn’t pay for his crime. No one has the right to make that choice for someone else.Natalia picked the room she wanted. I made sure she got a new wardrobe and she was happy to get a new one. Turns out, Natalia isn’t terrible in her taste in clothes, but clearly her father is. She’s also a pretty nice house guest or she might be trying to kiss my ass
“Alright, Czar, what is going on?” Toni demands when she stops in front of me. “Mona asked me not to kill her, and I realized I can’t be her executioner.” I confess. “Why the fuck not, Max?” Toni aggressively questions, tossing her one hand on her hip. “Do you love her?” “What? No! It’s not like that at all. I promise you, Antonia, you are the only I love. I care about her. I hate to admit it, but I did get to know her a bit over the two years. It just happened naturally in platonic friendship way. That’s the best I can explain it. I hate myself for even saying these words to you, Princess. When I told you she meant nothing before we got married, I meant it. I truly believed it until I was faced with holding her life in my hands. I’m so sorry, I’m sure you feel betrayed and I wouldn’t blame you if you did. However, I promised I’d be honest with you, so that’s what I’m doing.” I honestly explain, hoping we can somehow work past this. Toni’s demeanor softens and the hand that was on
I can’t believe Mona is between Leo and I as we ride to stash house, and it’s the type that houses drugs. No, we have integration stash houses that we take people to integrate them. Some make it out alive, and others not so much. It’s not surprising Mona went after Toni since she’s looked at Toni as her enemy since day one. Toni is of course well trained in defending herself, it makes sense given who her parents are, but especially her bio dad, Anthony. Those two are some dark horses. Sometimes I think Toni is more morally grey than me and that just only makes her hotter. In all our scheming to take Chatworth down we never really discussed what to do about Mona. In the end she wasn’t the enemy that threatened us the most. She has always been this weird side show on her own. I spent two years fucking her, and while I never developed romantic feelings for her, I hate to say it but I got a soft spot for her. Maybe it’s because I saw the vulnerable side of her that no one else did. Mona
Once I’m done checking on everyone I head toward the kitchen and double check things. Lucy and I have hired trustworthy bakers that hold up to our standards. As much as Lucy and I would love to bake everything ourselves like we did when first opened, it’s no longer practical. However, that doesn’t mean we don’t get our time in the kitchen. After I check the kitchen, I finally head to my office to go over the next couple of weeks donut flavors since we do rotate some of the flavors, but always keep the classics. I used to the schedule for the kitchens and the front, but thankfully I was able to pass that duty to my managers who got a raise for the extra work. Lucy and I make sure our employees are fairly treated and that they are paid what they are worth. I don’t always love going to my office because of the drab behind the scenes stuff. Some of it isn’t too bad, but the office is still not my favorite place to be. I like to move around. It’s probably why I enjoy the bounce around I d
A couple of weeks ago a news article was published by a disgraced journalist on Chatworth that was only the beginning of a trail of news stories coming out to disgrace the Senator. Chatworth’s PR team is working overtime trying to save his ass, but every time they put out fire we start a new one. They are struggling to keep up and it’s starting to show, which is good for us because if we set him a blaze long enough he will have no choice but to resign. I can only imagine the spiral Chatworth is on and it makes me happy that he’s suffering because he murdered Misha. Misha was a third father to me. I adored him for treating me like I was already his daughter in law. I pictured him being a grandpa with my two dads. Max and I might be freshly married, but our families have been entwined for decades. Misha’s loss will be felt forever. I enter the bakery from the side entrance where all the employees, vendors, and other services we have like washing for all the towels, aprons, and various