4 Indigo

We had been dating for almost a year when I started to see signs that where big red flags, I should have taken them as a warning to run while I still could but I didn't.

The way he would look at other girls and openly flirt with them with me by his side was one or how he would get up and leave with out saying good bye after getting a call or text should of been another one but he would find away to make me believe that it was for work or school, once he even said it was a family emergency, he was always so smooth with his words making me naively fell into his traps.

Then there were times I wouldn't see or hear from him for days at a time after we moved in together and when he would finally show up or call and I'd ask him were he had been.

He'd say it was none of my business and I'd get hit as if I was the one who had been gone for days doing only he knows what, with only god knows who.

I still remember the very first time he hit me. It was at a frat party I had been invited to by my study partner.

All anyone did was stand there and watch no one stoped him or tried to that just gathered around and watched him smack me around most likely to drunk to even realize what was going on.

He was drunk and got mad because I told him I was leaving after I had caught him kissing some blonde bimbo with barely any clothes on.

A long story shot it was my fault because I wouldn't 'put out' so he had to get it from someone else. I know I should of left him after that after all of it but my dumb ass thought that what he showed me was love because I didn't have a healthy version of it growing up, all I knew was what I read in books and watched on tv.

After that night it was always my fault or at least that's what he would always tell me as he let out his anger on my broken body.

Looking in the mirror while cleaning myself up I get a good glimpse of myself, I've lost the girl I had become once I got to college.

I lost the carefree fun easygoing girl I was, the girl looking back at me isn't me she's someone I've become because of him.

I'm a shell of the girl I used to be, I'm nothing more than a husk of the girl I once was.

I used to have friends and go out, I used to love adventure and be daring but now all I do is hide out in the house until I know longer have black eyes or the swelling in my nose has gone down enough it's not that noticeable but I can't keep doing this I can't keep loosing what little bit of me is left.

I can't stay in this relationship anymore because eventually he will kill me.

I've been doing my classes online and working at a small bookstore down the block, thankfully the owner lets me just show up and work on the days he's not here. It's nice that the owner helps me out like that and it keeps me from getting yelled at or beat up because I'm not home or have my small paycheack taken away because I somehow belong to him so what's mine is his.

I had been saving as much money as I could over the last few months because I wanted to buy a car before I left but I'm going to use the money to get as far away from him as I can.