Chapter four

Sigh. This is pretty fucked up. I'm pretty fucked up. I take a drag, inhale and exhale. I hate him, jealousy is not an excuse for what he said. Problem is, i can't hate that stupid fucker, i…..i s–still love him. I fist my hair in my hands and grunt, i want to shout but what if they here me. This is so so fucked up, it's not even possible, we've been apart for 4 years, this feelings shouldn't be here anymore, it should have died. It should've but it didn't, it didn't die because you didn't heal. You pushed the pain, buried it all, you refused to acknowledge it, you believed your heart was barred from any hurt any pain. You could've prevented this, could've healed but you didn't. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Ughh. Be composed Nov, don't have a break down now. Ughhh, “are you okay babe” Eliza says as she and Jade stand in each side of me and hold my arms, i remove Eliza's hands from my right arm, take one last drag and put off the cigarette before letting it drop to the floor, “yeah i'm fine, just thinking” “look we're sorry for what Kayden said, he was way outta line” “nah it's cool, he was only looking out for his twin” or he was jealous you were touching his twin, Shut up. “no it's not cool and you know it, he's lucky i didn't sink my knees in his balls that would have shown him” jade mutter, eliza and i burst out laughing while she smiles shyly. “Sorry to burst your bubble babe but you won't be kicking any one's balls tonight, not while i'm around anyway” i say admist laughter, “come on lets go inside and see about those cocktails” i say putting my hands on their backs and steering them into the house.

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“What are you guys having” i say settling behind the bar,trying to get familiar with positions of the liquor and fruits, i turn around to check the top shelf for a strainer, in the process my jacket came up a bit, showing a little of the tattoo on my back. “Oh my God Nova, is that a tattoo” Jade exclaims, drawing a little attention to me, “can i see” Eliza says her eyes alight with excitement, i laugh awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck, “umm, i don't think it's necessary babe, it's just a little tattoo” i say nervously when i see Dan and Jay heading towards the bar at Jades exclamations, i curse the fact that the music wasn't loud enough to cover Jades voice. “Come on please, we promise not to judge” “it's not you that's the problem, it's them” i say nodding towards the boys that are already close to the bar “don't worry about them, if they judge, they'll lose their balls” we laughed. “Okay” i said unzipping my jacket to reveal the black v–neck crop top with laces holding the back together that i was wearing underneath and my tattoo. I have a black rose tattoo at the top of my back, and one of a dragon that took up the remaining space on my back, “cool” the boys say while Liz and Dee stare at my back with their mouths open, “here goes nothing” i mutter to my self before turning around so they could see the piercing on my belly button and the tattoo of a bleeding heart with broken wings being suffocated by vines and thorns on my stomach. Dan whistles while draping his hand on Jades shoulder and i see her struggle with a big ass grin, i smile and wink at her and she blushes. Eliza laughs making her blush deeper. “Enough about me, what are you guys having” “what do you mean, where's the bartender” Jay says lifting one of his eyebrows up in a questioning manner “he's on his bloody bathroom break, i'll be making whatever drink you guys want” Jay narrows his eyes at me, acting like a detective he asks “you sure you can make a cocktail that's up to my standards” he says doing another one of those eyebrow raise thing making him look like a sexy detective, “i don't know your standards but i'm sure i could do better” i say seductively, Eliza coughs slightly making Jay's ears turn red while Jade glares at me for embarrassing her, i laugh and wink at Jay before asking again “what will you guys have, girls before bros so Liz, Dee, what will you be having?”. “I'd like a Appletini please, easy on the vodka” Jade says quietly,“i'm only gonna oblige your request just because i it'll probably send you to an early slumber” i say smiling, she laughs and Liz says “yup, you're right about that one” not like it's a bad thing but i'm guessing Dan would like to stare at her for a little while longer” i say smirking, Dan blushes a bit and Jade flushes beetroot red. “Okay, Appletini for Jade, what about you Liz?“, “umm, i'll have Cosmo” “okay, not too bad girls, coming right up”. I'm making Jades drink first so i take out the shaker, open it and fill it with ice cubes before pouring in 40ml of vodka, 50ml of cloudy apple juice, 1tsp of lemon juice and 1tsp of maple syrup. I cover the shaker and start shaking, and twirling and throwing it around making my friends gape at me in surprise. When the outside of the shaker gets cold, i stop the shaking,strain it into a martini glass,take one apple from the fruit bar, cut one slice out and wedged it on the side of the glass before placing it carefully in front of Jade with a smile, “one Appletini served and one Cosmo coming right up”. “How'd you know how to do that” Jade said “well, i saw a bartender do it when i visited the bar that day so i kinda….“, “oh God don't tell me you learnt those tricks simply because you liked it” “something like that” i say sheepishly. “Give me a breather would you?, at least until i finish making the drinks” “fine, but then i'll ask my questions, and you'll answer them” Liz said sternly, “yes ma'am” i say and five her a mock salute and we all laugh. I start with the Cosmo,rinsing out the residue of the Appletini before filling it up with ice cubes again,“Extra vodka for you Liz?“ I ask, “yeah, sure” she answered distractedly, looking at my hands as i mix 60ml of mandarin vodka with 1tbsp of orange liqueur, 1tbsp of lime juice and 50ml of cranberry juice before shaking it hard and straining into a martini glass and garnishing with a slice of orange zest. “Done”, i set in front of her, “Jade, stop your phone a drink your's so you'd give me a feedback, you too Liz” “oh, right sorry” i gesture to her to hurry up making her take a sip, she takes another one and another one before i hold the glass and smile, “feedback?“ “Oh, it's amazing Nov” she says prying my hand off her glass so she could drink some more, i let her and turn to Liz for her own opinion. She takes a sip, making slushy sounds with the drink and comforting her face in a funny way that makes Jade and i laugh and the boys chuckle before giving me a wide grin with a thumbs up “perfection” she says but Jay butts in and says “hold on missy, i'm be the judge of that, your're gonna make me one the most complicated cocktail in th world” he says dramatically, “bring it on” “wait, wait, make mine first please” Dan says with a pout, Jay rolls his eyes and i laugh “ok cutie, what do you want”, Dee and Liz laugh at what i called Dan, Jay chuckles and Dan scowls at me. “I'll have Sea Breeze”, i nod and start with his drink.