SIENNAI wondered how my teeth hadn’t fallen out yet from the amount of sugar that I had taken. And yet somehow, I couldn't seem to get enough. I was beginning to feel as if my life was about to be snuffed out of me in the minutes to come. I couldn't think about anything. I didn’t even want to think about anything. The only thing that I was aware of was Sylvester's presence and how he sat beside me, staring ahead into the distance, and all I could think about was how I just wanted it to be like this, how I wanted more days like this. Him sitting beside me while we both stared into the distance, secretly smiling at the little kids playing in the distance, both of us at peace with each other’s presence.I was certain that a part of us wished to join them, to run around without a care in the world. It would be a really nice experience to have as the breeze would blow through our hair, while our faces would be flushed with sweat, and we would have bright and wide smiles on our faces. I t
SIENNAWe had to switch seats and I had to continue driving. Eventually, Sylvester got out of the car and disappeared into the darkness of the night. Nobody could know we were together. I sighed and leaned against the driver's seat in exhaustion. Somehow, I came back home feeling even heavier than how I left. I was beyond tired and really exhausted. I managed to force myself to get out of the car eventually.My shoulders sagged heavily and having dinner was the last thing on my mind. I had no intention of having dinner at all. I was beyond tired and exhausted. I finally got out of the car and headed into the house. I had finally decided that I would make my way into the dining room. I closed my eyes and sighed before I placed my hand on the door handle. “Where have you been?” I flinched in shock and then I relaxed when I saw Benjamin leaning against the wall opposite where I was. From the looks of it, it would seem that he had been watching me for quite some time. I inhaled deeply as
SIENNAI tried to get the words to come out but for some reason, I was unable to. I didn't know what I was supposed to do next. His gaze was still on me and the hurt was evident in his eyes, and I was almost positive that the hurt in his eyes was there to hurt me. It had to be.“I'm sorry.” My voice was so low that it could almost be considered as a whisper. I wanted to tell him that it wasn't my intention to hurt him but at the back of my head, I knew that would be plain stupid because even if I was making that claim, I was already doing it. I was already hurting him. I was very conscious of the tears that stung my eyes. Even when he turned around to walk away, I couldn't go after him. For some reason, I was still transfixed in a spot, staring into the empty space after he had gone. There was a possibility that he was never going to see me the same way. Perhaps this was the part where our friendship crashed to the point of no return and this time, there was no possible way that I co
SIENNASomehow, his words lifted my heart and the pressure that I thought was suffocating me eased a little. Maybe it was one of the reasons I liked to keep him near. It was probably one of the reasons I had to keep him close regardless. I was really exhausted and suffocated, and I had no idea what to do. What was it that I was supposed to do? My mind traveled over to Benjamin and the argument we had last night, making the anxiety return. I knew eventually I would have to be honest and tell Sylvester about Benjamin. But for now, I was a coward who was content to keep it hidden. I didn’t think that I had developed the courage to talk to him about it yet. And I didn’t even think the time was coming anytime soon. I blinked when he said something I didn't quite catch because my disturbing thoughts had pulled me under again, and all I could think about was how much I wanted to feel sane. I forced myself to revert my attention back to Sylvester. “What is it you were saying?” I asked. “
SIENNA“Like what?” I questioned breathlessly. “Like you'd rather be anywhere but near me and it hurts,” he replied.What hurts is that you are getting married to another woman and I know that I can’t do anything about it, I thought.If Tamara wasn't even a problem, that didn't mean that we were free to be together. There were other problems to solve. Like my father. And then there was Benjamin and even Clara. I wondered if I could beg the universe to give me a break. A really small break. I deserved it. I deserved to be happy, didn't I? I just wanted to be happy. “I always want to be near you,” I told him.It hurt even as I said it but it was nothing but the truth. He deserved to know the truth. I closed my eyes. Somehow, even with my eyes closed, I could sense his proximity. I knew that he was close to me. I could feel him. I could feel his presence. When his hands circled my waist, I was left breathless by the intensity of the shudder that ran down my spine. “Maybe we need a bre
SIENNAI stared at my reflection in the mirror. The red dress clung to me in all the right places and I was certain that I looked gorgeous. I looked really beautiful. I closed my eyes and sighed.My nerves were certainly not calm anymore. I knew that it was only going to be a matter of time before I started panicking again. I convinced myself that there was no way that I was going to this engagement party. I was doing more harm than good to myself and yet here I was because I couldn't do anything else but go. Somehow, I just couldn't let my uncertainty claw at me and stop me from going. My blond hair looked even more blond than usual and my makeup was as minimal as it could get, but the eyeliner made the color of my eyes pop. If anything, I was almost convinced that I looked amazing. Key word. Almost. I closed my eyes and smiled, and at the same time, I was tempted to burst into tears. I wondered if that even made sense. My heart was clenching and unclenching. I didn't know what to
SIENNAHe looked away just as quickly as he glanced at me. “We should get going. You don't want to be late,” he said. I didn't miss the slight spite in his voice. I blinked in surprise when I met Clara in the hallway. Her hair was fluffed up to perfection and the waves cascaded down her back perfectly. The red color of her lipstick brought out the paleness of her complexion. Her strapless cream dress complimented the tone of her skin. I hated to admit it, but she was beautiful. She had always been. “What do you think you're doing?” I asked, raising a brow at her. It was obvious that she was dressed for the occasion. “Don't be silly. I'm going with you guys to Sylvester's party. You didn't take I'd stay home alone, did you?” She smiled sassily and tilted her head to the side slightly, taunting me with her eyes. How she even knew that he was hosting a party today was beyond me, and I couldn't even find the energy to worry about what she might be scheming. I knew the night was alread
SIENNAI tried to keep it together. I really did. But the last thing that sent me over the precipice was when I watched him kiss her on the staircase. They claimed to have nothing going on and yet he fucking kissed her. I watched as Tamara looked at him with love in her eyes. Was it love, adoration, or something else entirely? I couldn't put a name to it. Putting a name to it would make me feel nauseous. But it was too late. I already felt nauseous. My head was already spinning, my wolf was already breaking apart and all I could think of was not cracking into two. I didn’t want to crack open and crumble, shattering in the dark abyss of insanity. Something inside of me was withering, dying, crashing, and burning, and all I could think about was how intense the pain I was feeling was. “You're going to be okay,” I felt the need to tell myself over and over again, but it meant that I was a pathetic liar. I would be lying that any of it made sense. My gaze seemed transfixed on the scene