SIENNAI stared at my reflection in the mirror, but I was not so sure that I would like what I saw. I closed my eyes and sighed as exhaustion threatened to weigh me down. That was all I had been feeling lately. That was all that had been taking over my life these days. My attention drifted away from me criticizing myself in the mirror and I turned away almost immediately. I heard a knock on the door and sighed with relief. These days I was looking for anything, anything at all, that could act as some sort of reprieve from my thoughts. They were suffocating me to the extent that I was convinced that it would be impossible to breathe. I thought about Benjamin and Sylvester too. I spent the whole day thinking about them and how best I could salvage the situation, or even the tension, and yet I came up with nothing. I had promised Benjamin that I wasn't going to regret it but like the coward that I was, and had always been, I was running away. It was the only thing that I could think
SIENNASo many emotions coursed through me that I didn't know which exact one to pinpoint, and they overwhelmed me so much that I couldn't even come up with the right word to say that would have made sense at this moment. I was breathless and speechless at the same time. My palms were clammy with sweat and I could feel a fluttering sensation in my stomach. It wasn't as intense as when I was with Sylvester but I couldn't just ignore the fact that it was there. It was there and I couldn't do anything about it.“So how long were you planning on putting yourself through the torture of being locked inside your room?” he asked, smiling slightly as he raised a brow at me. He was right. I couldn't stay in my room for long. The thought of not occupying my mind with something had made me almost go crazy and yet I did it just so that I could avoid him. I did it just so that I could avoid Sylvester too.“Don't do that,” I said, narrowing my eyes at him.“Don't do what?” he questioned, shooting
SIENNAI don't know if it was because of the rage or all the malice that I kept bottled up within my chest – I was still holding the card in my hand and it felt so weighty – but I was almost tempted to do something irrational, maybe drag her by the hair as she was about to walk in but I just decided against it as I was painfully reminded of Benjamin's presence. So I closed my eyes, just for a short moment to at least calm down my racing nerves. The anger I was currently feeling could be termed as unhealthy and the last thing I wanted to feel was that anger. I didn't want to feel angry at all. If it could even be possible, I didn't want to feel anything at all.“Bitch,” I muttered under my breath. “I don't mean to be disrespectful towards women but on this, I agree a hundred percent,” Benjamin drawled and his reply made a very small smile come to my face. “I don't think we should go to the garden anymore. I think we should do something else instead,” he suggested but he seemed almost
SIENNAMy heart was pounding frantically within the confines of my chest. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. Inhale. Exhale. Those were the words I kept chanting to myself.Benjamin told me he loved me again. He didn't mind that I didn't say it back. He went about checking the condition of his motorbike to see if it was in good shape. I just stood in a spot reeling from shock. “It's all set and ready for use. Just don't kill us before evening.” He chuckled as he cleaned his hands with the rag that he held. His eyes glistened with amusement. I was beyond tired and really exhausted as he looked at me, and then his brows furrowed almost immediately. “What's going on?” You look a bit pale” he commented. It was easy to spot the worry in his eyes as I looked at him. “Was it something that I said?” he questioned as he came closer to me. “No, I'm okay,” I replied and yet my voice was oddly higher than it should be. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously on me. “Are you sure?” he asked, rai
SIENNAFor a moment, he said nothing. It was as if he was thinking deeply about what I just said. “I've always been grateful to you but I don't think that's why I love you, Sienna. But the truth is that I don't think you would like to listen to me drone on and on about why I love you. I also don't think I'm looking forward to you telling me no after I do,” he said and yet there was no contempt in his voice. “You can't be sure that I was going to say no,” I said and he shot me a look. “What?” I questioned.“I already know that, Sienna. There's no need to drag this out” he replied.“What are you even talking about?” I asked as I raised an eyebrow at him. He remained silent for a while and then he turned back around to face me. I was taken by the hurt that I saw in his eyes. “I already know that both of you are mates,” he said. “It's the only thing that made sense, and the only thing that I could think of. It's the only explanation that made perfect sense for why you love him so muc
SIENNA “I was waiting for you,” Sylvester said softly after a stretch of uncomfortable silence. He didn't seem bothered to be on the receiving end of my intense glare.“What do you mean, waiting for me?” I asked as I shot him a look before I raised an eyebrow at him in question. All I could think about was who might have seen him as he walked into the room. I closed my eyes and sighed, and I could already feel the pounding in my head intensifying.My wolf was quite delighted by his presence, but let’s face it, she always was. All I could think about was how much I wanted him here and how much I wanted him to leave at the same time. I was conflicted to the extent that I really didn't know what was right anymore. I closed my eyes and smiled because I was feeling really exhausted. I wish that I could go to sleep and wake up to find out that my problems had mysteriously disappeared, but I knew that the universe didn't work that way. I would wake up and my problems would still be there
SIENNAI wanted to die rather than feel this pain that was making me suffer. It was happening gradually and that was what I hated about shifting. It was too slow and gradual. “Sienna,” Sylvester called out again as he made his way over to me and crouched down in front of me. His face was contorted in pain, and it was just as if he was going through something similar. I didn’t think it was possible for him to feel whatever I was feeling. It just wasn't possible. I closed my eyes and sighed. Then I started to breathe in and out. I kept breathing in and out again and again. Maybe that was going to help.But I knew that I was deceiving myself. Nothing ever helped when this was happening. All I could hope for, all I could wish for was for the pain to go away. But all I did was internally count as I looked forward to the time that it would be dawn again. “I'm here,” Sylvester said softly. His hands went through my hair in tender soothing motions and I found myself leaning into his touch
SIENNA“What do you mean you were running out of options?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at him. My hands were starting to become clammy with sweat. I was beginning to become more and more conscious of my panic as I looked at him. So I pressed my finger against my temple just to calm myself down.He dropped the cup of tea against the bedside table as he looked at me. I didn't know what to do. “I just wanted us to be alone. The two of us needed some alone time,” he replied.“What alone time are you talking about? How do you think it's possible that I could stand to be in the same room with you, knowing that you're going to be married in less than a week!” I snapped. I was trying to let the anger and rising panic not take over me. But this was Sylvester I was dealing with. No matter how I tried to escape from my emotions, from my feelings, he sure did have a way of invoking them and they always came rushing back, no matter how much I tried to escape them. “I'm not getting married," Syl