Chapter Five

SIENNA

It had been a few days since the rejection, and it still hurts just the same. Anytime I thought about it, my heart squeezed against my chest painfully like someone had shoved their hands in it and was pressing onto the organ. But I guess that’s what he did, just not literally. Even without getting to know my heart, he ripped it out and stomped all over it.

I thought that as the days went by, I’d feel a lot better but I didn’t. Not even in the slightest. I still felt terrible and I bet that even my looks were just it – terrible. Eating became a problem too, and I found myself gradually emaciating as the days went by.

I could say that whatever connection it was that we had, had started to die out, but I hated that the feeling of hurt didn’t die with it. There were things I wanted to do, the usual I did. But what can you do when you lack the motivation to move a fraction.

The mind should be the first thing to move before the body did. I heard a knock on the door to the room I was staying in and my head whipped in the direction.

“Come in,” I called, my voice coming out coarse.

A head peeked in, revealing a smiling Hailey. She had been my biggest support system since I got hospitalized and I couldn’t thank her enough.

“Hey, girlie. Nice to see you awake and a little active.” She said, glancing over my now rested but frail body.

“I still feel terrible Hailey. I should have felt better by now and I want to but my mind just can’t stop thinking about him. My heart hasn’t stopped feeling either.” I said in frustration, my brows creasing in anger.

“Girl, you know that’s not how healing works. I’m not even going to sugar quote this, but it’s going to take you some time to get over him which I don’t even think will be completely. What you need right now is to focus on your Luna duties. You owe yourself that much.”

I groaned at the thought of that. What I wanted was to be able to know what having a mate felt like. I wanted to be able know what being loved by my mate was. For the longest time since I knew what mates were, I looked forward to having one of my own, hoping that he would love me as much as I knew I would love him.

So why couldn’t he? Why didn’t he like I thought he would? Was there something wrong with me?

I would think that he would have stayed even for the fact that I was an Alpha’s daughter but no, he knew who I was and still flat out rejected me. I let out a sigh and took a glance at my friend whose eyes were already on me.

“Thank you for being here Hailey. Apart from my dad you’re the only one showing up for me. I appreciate it.” I said to her sincerely.

“I would say you’re welcome but you still haven’t given me an answer to focusing on Luna duties.”

She rolled her eyes at me playfully and let out a huff. Something she usually did when she wanted to get her way.

I chuckled, already knowing she would have her way as usual even though it was for my benefit.

“Okay Ma’am, I will do as you have commanded.” I said with a grin.

She laughed at how dramatic I was and we talked for a few more hours. Most about what I’d be getting into and how I would do it.

Talking about it was easy, doing it was the hard part.

When I got discharged from the hospital, my father insisted on picking me up with Hailey joining in. I couldn’t say I didn’t love them to bits for all they’ve done for me but they could be too much sometimes.

When we arrived home I wanted to get right into learning along side my father and having an elder tell me more about my mother’s duties as well. I knew I wasn’t just going to focus on Alpha duties, I would have to take both roles since I wouldn’t be having a mate of my own.

My father however forbade me for the evening, warning me that he’d send me back to the hospital if I didn’t listen to him and got the rest I was supposed to. He wasn’t joking, I knew he’d do it just to teach me a lesson and delay me.

So I listened. I sulked in my room for not having my way and the next morning much to his annoyance, I was up and ready to tag along with him.

“You don’t listen, do you?” he asked, clearly annoyed one morning at his office.

“It’s not my fault I took more of my father’s traits Alpha.” I said sarcastically with a toothy grin. He only chuckled and shook his head.

Around him as we worked over the next few weeks, my father went from being annoyed to having no choice but to get impressed with how much I had improved. I noticed it too.

I noticed that the pain that was like a knife piercing through had now become a dull ache that had become a nuisance. And it too was slowly fading away. The nights that I had memories of being rejected were replaced with reminding myself of a meeting or actually thinking about a meeting we had attended where ideas for improvement were needed.

I forced myself to forget when my brain wanted to remember, just to torture me. I forced my heart not to feel as well. I was going to show everyone just how strong and dedicated I was as the future Luna. And it wasn’t just office work I pushed myself on for, I had to do it one the field as well. I had to train both mind and body.

For what kind of a Luna would I be if I didn’t know how to protect my people?