3- Mate

CRYSTAL

I'm alright. I'm… okay. I am… in control.

I repeat those words in my head till I'm standing before my mother's room door and finding it hard to breathe. My palm is sweaty and I think I'm having cold feet. I can't even-

"Is that you, dear?" her voice booms like a flower blooming on a hill. It's soft, gentle and inviting. "I know it's you. Come on in. I've been… waiting." She sounds soft like she's being gentle with a fragile child.

I don't blame her. I ran away once and I can do it again.

I hear murmurs behind the door and one of the voices sends a tremor through me. That's… father. He's here too. For the first time in five years, I'll be seeing him and I… I swear I'm not ready for this.

What the fuck am I doing here?

"Crystal," I turn to the familiar voice from behind and hold Kirill's gaze. He's my father's beta. His grey hair has doubled and the wrinkles on his face makes me imagine what my father must look like now.

"Beta Kirill," good thing my voice doesn’t shake. "It's good to see you-"

I'm being pulled into a hug before I see it coming. I tense up in his arms as he hugs me tight, his hand at the back of my hair. When he pulls away, he steps back like that didn’t just happen and I'm shocked to see him wiping the corner of his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Alpha Princess. I just… couldn't stop myself," even though he's smiling at me, he looks sad. "How have you been?"

Alpha Princess. A title I used to bear but… not anymore. "I'm fine. You look as good as always. It's good to see you again."

"You too, Princess. Nothing has been the same-"

"Alpha Princess?" The menace behind that voice makes me tense up with wide eyes as his strong scent floods my nose and the scowl in that voice makes me shiver. Beta Kirill's eyes go wide in fear too as he looks past me to the large man who casts a shadow over me. "You misspoke there. Princess to whose Pack?"

Ah, yes. I mustn't get ahead of myself.

As I turn to him, my heart drops to my stomach and I take a loud gulp.

His eyes are glaring, his brows in a thick frown. He doesn’t look like he's aged in five years. Did he get bigger as he grew older? His hair is dyed black--he's never fancied grey hair especially when he's not ready to hand it over yet. He's a large man so he's practically blocking the door.

"Father," I whisper and his eyes darken so much that I quickly lower my head in fright.

"Y-Yes, forgive me. I was just… carried away," Beta Kirill chuckles nervously as he apologies. The silence is awkward and too hard for me to breathe properly-

"What are you doing here? This is Pack's property," his voice is low and deep, sending shivers down my spine as I stare at our shoes. "You don’t belong here. You need to leave now-"

"What the fuck do you think you’re saying to my daughter!" mother's scream has father and I freezing in shock. I lift my head just in time to see the panic that crosses his face.

"That's the attitude right there! That's the fucking reason why I collapsed the first time-"

"H-Honey, don’t yell," gone is the scary man from earlier leaving behind a devoted and loving husband. He hurries back in and I'm blessed with the sight of my mother in her hospital gown throwing a fit at my father.

I bask in the nostalgic feeling and bless the moon goddess for her mercy. To watch my parents display another extension of their undying and unwavering love makes my heart ache. All my life I've taken them as a sample for what I wanted my marriage to be like but my fate was rather unfortunate as the mirror I looked at them with was now shattered and broken into pieces.

"I'm not letting go of my daughter, you grumpy old man!" Mother yells. "I swear I'll collapse this time and never open my eyes again!"

"You shouldn’t talk like that, mom," I step into the room with a warm feeling in my chest. "You're still too young for death to snatch you away."

Her fingers pause in father's hair and she's looking in my direction. Soon her eyes are glistening with tears and her lower lip, trembling. The sight of my mother crumbling pricks my heart and it wenches like a sheet of paper.

"Crystal," she whispers and lets go of him. Climbing out the bed, she rushes to me with her brown hair swaying as she moves. She's wrapping her arms around me in a tight hug, squeezing me to show how much she's missed me.

"Thank you," her voice breaks in a small sob. "Thank you for bringing her back to me, goddess.'' She's pulling away and cupping my face now. The sight of her tears triggers mine and I can't stop the tears from falling but I try to put up a brave front.

I put my hand over hers and nod, "I've missed you too, mom." I stare at her black eyes and I realise how much I've missed my mom. The wrinkles on her face and the corners of her mouth, her warm hands on my cheek and the tears as they leave her eyes. My heart is simply breaking at the scene.

"You look so beautiful," I huff with a smile.

"Look at you," she says. "You look so matured now. I've missed you… so much. You don't know how long I've wanted-"

"Raven--"

"Don't talk to me!" she snaps at my dad who quickly turns his face away with a sigh. "Come in, love," mom says with a smile and holds my hand. "I'm never letting you go again. What if you disappear again?"

I chuckle nervously, glancing at my father who stares at me strangely before he frowns. I look away quickly, my heart skipping a beat. It still hurts me to think that my father who had high expectations for me- a man who once proclaimed that I was his pride and joy, rightful heir to his Pack-- now cannot stand the sight of me-

"I'll go take a walk outside," father says, ruffling his hair as he walks away.

"Uh huh, yeah, you do that," mom narrows her eyes, still leading me to her bed. He carefully shuts the door while I wonder if she won't get in trouble with him later for bringing me into pack lands.

"He'll get used to it," she affirms. "He better. You're my first daughter. No one can take you away from me. If I have to sit at the table with your spouse, I'll do it. As long as I get to see you," she looks back with a smile and I return it painfully.

She climbs back on her bed and I sit by her side after arranging the pillows behind her on the headboard.

The air is cold here but I can't show it since I've taken off my coat and dressed up like I was alright when I just want to cuddle inside her duvet and rub my arms-- it's fucking freezing!

"What happened? Ruby's text got me worried-"

"Ugh!" she rolls her eyes. "It's nothing serious. I've just been overworking, that's all. So that's what it takes for you to return home, huh? I guess I should collapse more-"

"Mom," I frown and she giggles a bit.

"How is John? Why didn't he come with you?" she asks, a little too eager.

"He's not in the country right now. Work. But, what do you mean? He can't come into Pack Lands. You know how father is around humans especially," I trail off. Especially around the human who took his daughter away.

In a way, father respected my decision, he could as well behead John and hide his body somewhere. I mean he always told us the story of how ruthless his father was and how he beheaded a human girl he once liked so he wouldn't ruin his Alpha genes.

The story still gives me nightmares sometimes.

"He'll come around," she squeezes my hand.

I doubt it but I can't tell her that so I nod. "Where's Ruby? It must've been a scare when she saw you collapse. Was she with you?"

She shakes her head, "No. Luckily for her, she wasn't. I was with Silver when I lost consciousness."

Silver? Which one of her plants did she name Silver now?

"He's a fine gentleman now. All grown up. Remember him? Silver Wolsh of Midnight Hunters Pack?" she blinks at me and sighs, "Your betrothed, Crystal."

"Oh!" Now that rings a bell. "Wow. I uh… I completely forgot about that," I rub my neck feeling uneasy. "Wait. You met with him?"

"Yes, I had to. Since Ruby will be Alpha, he has a role to play too."

No, don't tell me…

"Yes," she confirms my suspicion. "Ruby and Silver will be getting married.”

My jaw drops. "Oh My Goodness!" This is all because I got kicked out of the Pack. Now she has to step in line and take my spot including- I slap my hand over my face. "She must hate me. I didn’t even know-"

"No, don't say that," mother coos. "He is betrothed to the successor, remember? Ruby doesn't have a problem with it. In fact, the two of them are getting along-"

I can't concentrate on her words. I'm too preoccupied by the inner conflict going on inside of me. How could I have been so forgetful and unconcerned? To have ruined my sister's life? I didn't even-

A chill runs down my spine and I shiver, feeling a little heat from deep within my chest.

I shouldn't have come here. How can I look at her? And all this time she didn't even say anything. I try to think of the times we hung out. Ruby seemed fine. She wore a smile like the Alpha training wasn't one big fucked up mind game and the pressure of being responsible for over hundreds of people didn’t exist.

All this time she acted like she was alright while she must've been-- I jumped to my feet, feeling like my skin would crawl out of me if I stayed any longer.

This deep feeling in my chest, pushing me to get out of here. My whole body feels itchy and I realise once again how much I've messed up.

"Crystal?" Mom calls in a worried tone. "Crystal, are you alright? You don’t look so good."

Everything is hazy. I widen my eyes and shake my head, trying to clear my vision but the world feels rather slow and heavy. I can hear my own heart beating loudly and slowly.

No, I can't… I can't pass out here. Not in front of my family.

John will be in trouble. Father will kill him if he knows my life is in danger.

Fuck! I have to stop worrying. Doc. Choi was right. My health is deteriorating, I can feel the uneasiness of my wolf. She's pacing like something has piqued her interest.

Is it because we're on Pack lands? I felt the sensation of being surrounded by my rightful land once I crossed the border.

It's also been forever since my last shift and that is only because Simone got really curious. Shifting always left me very horny which could trigger my rut and leave me in weeks of pains and sufferings if John didn’t have the time to dedicate for sex.

I don’t know what's up with me but I can't stay here right now.

"M-Mom, let me step outside for a phone call," I turn away and quickly head to the door. "I'll be right back-"

"I know Crystal is here somewhere," I freeze at the familiar voice of my younger sister behind the door. "Let's ask mom-"

The door opens and instead of Ruby, I'm staring at gold eyes that leave behind a piercing feeling and for the first time in years, I feel a build up in my chest and the relief leaves my lips in a sigh.

"Silver. Good thing you're here. I wanted to introduce you to Crystal-”

I can't take my eyes off him. Not when I finally understand this feeling.

He's staring back at me with a slight shock on his face. Everyone else disappears in the room as he's all that I see. The knowing look crosses his face and I know that he knows.

Why did he have to come now and ruin my already crumbling world?

Who would listen and who would I even say it to that my sister's betrothed is my mate?