Chapter 4 - Insignificant

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Stefania

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"I’m sorry, I-I will come back in the morning," Paris stutters for the first time in his life, turning to walk away, but I grab his hand, causing him to stop.

"It’s okay; I wasn’t sleeping." I gently pull him inside, and he enters, the look in his eyes scaring me. I ask him if he would like anything, closing the door behind him, and he says he’s fine. We head to the living area and sit down.

Paris and I are not mated yet, but we’ve been friends for so long I can almost feel his emotions. I can tell when he’s deeply troubled, and right now, he is. I’m not going to let him leave here until I’m sure he’s okay.

He and I are getting married in ten months, and the kingdoms have begun to rejoice over the long-awaited union. Everyone is in high spirits – everyone except me. I’m dead inside, and every day that passes takes a piece of my heart with it.

Our marriage is not out of love. Well, at least not on his part. Our fathers arranged it for different reasons. His father agreed to it to secure alliances between our houses, but mainly as a token of gratitude since his family doesn’t need to ally with anyone, not now. They are too powerful.

On the other hand, my father is an ambitious man with his own plans for us - plans that keep my eyes open at night the moment I allow them freedom in my head. I wasn’t supposed to; my heart was supposed to remain a rock, but it couldn’t. So I let him in, and now dread fills my heart as judgment day creeps closer.

My father is hailed as a hero for standing up for what was right and saving the kingdoms from ruin. But he’s no hero. He’s just a power-hungry wolf that will stop at nothing to get what he wants.

Decades ago, the Lycan Kingdom was attacked. The king that had ruled for centuries had fallen, and the wolf kings saw that as an opportunity to break free from the Lycan’s grip, and my father was one of those kings.

While the other kings saw an opportunity for freedom, he saw an opportunity for power. But he was at the bottom of the food chain and stood no chance against the ones on top, so he devised a plan.

King Athas Ioannis Sarris, who was leading the attack, was the most feared king and was known for being stubborn. No one could persuade him once he set his mind to something, and he didn’t get along with my father. My father couldn’t manipulate him. King Argo Konstantinos Drivas stood to his right. He was the second-most feared king, and he and my father were allies.

He married my aunt, my father’s younger sister after his first wife died. My father went to him and tried to convince him that ending the Lycan family was a terrible move. He said all the right words, and King Argo agreed to join my father and turn against the other kings. He was mainly driven by his jealousy of King Athas, which my father knew and used to his advantage.

Before Paris’s grandfather took over, King Argo’s house was the second house, but that changed when Paris’s grandfather took over. If they killed Athas, his house would be left for the taking, and my father promised he’d ask the king to give the house to Argo alone.

My father and King Argo betrayed King Athas and saved the Lycan family. Unfortunately, King Argo changed his mind in the middle of the night. No one knows why, but he was discovered by my father, making an attempt on the king’s life, and he was killed. My father says he was overwhelmed by guilt after seeing King Athas' family put to the sword. He said he had a weak stomach.

King Dimitris, my father, negotiated for my aunt’s life, and she and her children were spared but exiled.

My father's plan is finally coming full circle after all these years. In ten months, he will be one step closer to realizing his dream, and if the gods are kind, a year from now, he will get his throne.

When I marry Paris, I will be blessed with a male heir on our mating night. I will die and resurrect as a Lycan after giving birth to him. Lycan Queens are the only ones with the power to turn ordinary wolves into Lycans; my father wants to be the first one I turn. It’s the reason he asked for Paris’s hand. He wants me to turn him and my brothers into Lycans. And I was all for it in the beginning, but everything changed. I came to know Paris and fell in love with him; now, my blood gets cold whenever I think about it. I can’t do it. I can’t kill him.

Finally, after years of keeping it to myself, I confessed to my father two years ago. I begged him to come up with another plan, to spare his life, but he didn’t even want to listen. He wasn’t surprised that I had fallen for him. He knew it would happen, but wouldn't matter. He knew he would still force me to carve out my own heart. I begged my mother to help me, to talk to him, but she couldn’t do anything. I wasn’t surprised, though; I was just desperate.

So, after many sleepless nights of deliberation, I have come to the blood-curdling conclusion of killing my father. He and my brothers will be asleep for three days before they wake up as Lycans, and I’m going to make sure my father doesn’t wake up. I will sabotage the procedure, and my brothers will wake up as themselves. But I can’t do the same for my father. He’ll see through me, and he’ll never stop. Unlike my father, my brothers won’t go after the throne if he’s dead. They are happy just as they are. He’s the greedy one that’s filling their heads with poison.

My mother will be a widow, but I have no choice. I love my father, and I die inside every time I think about what I’m going to do to him, but I was a child when I agreed to this. I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know I would fall for him. All I could think about was making my family proud. It was the only thing I understood — love for my family. But now I know so much more, and I’ll never be able to live with myself if I kill Paris—nothing will be worth anything without him.

"Talk to me." I take his hands in mine, scooting closer to him as I do, and tears gleam in his eyes.

"I love you," he says, placing his hand on top of mine, and the look in his eyes as he says that doesn’t give me the comfort it should. Instead, it terrifies me more.

"You are my best friend and very important to me. I care for you deeply, and I always will," he continues, and my heart starts drumming against my ears, his words sounding like he’s about to tell me he can't do this anymore and leaving.

I know Paris is not in love with me yet, and I know it won’t be easy marrying someone you’re not in love with. But, as he just said, we care deeply for each other. So surely he’s not thinking of running away from his responsibility.

"What are you saying?" I whisper, scooting even closer to him, but my heart stops when a tear trails down his cheek.

"Paris? I know this marriage isn’t easy for you, but I promise I’ll be a good wife to you. I won’t pressure you into anything; you know that. I-" I start to say, but he cuts me off, saying he can’t reject her, and, this time, it’s not just my heart that stops; the world comes to a standstill. He can’t mean what I think he does.

"I can’t reject her, Ania," he repeats, the tears he held back now pouring, and I jump to my feet. I must be dreaming. "I’m sorry, Stefania. I’m so sorry," he adds, following me to my feet, and I shake my head in disbelief, feeling dizzy suddenly.

"I rejected my mate for you, Paris."

"I know, and I’m sorry."

"I don’t need you to be sorry! I need you to do your duty to me, to your father, and my father. You agreed, Paris."

"Don't you think I know that? I know what this means, Stefania. But I can’t reject her. She’s human, and she'll-"

"-What? That’s impossible. You will never be mated to a human. It’s never happened! The gods would never do that!" My voice comes out bitter, stepping up to him again, convinced this is some fucked up nightmare. No royal, Lycan or not, has ever been mated to a human. It’s simply impossible.

"I am, Stefania. I’m mated to a human, and she’ll die if I reject her," he says, and I step away from him, taking my face in my hands, unable to process what’s happening. I start pinching myself and slapping my face. "I have to wake up; I need to wake up," I whisper, suddenly struggling to breathe, and I run to the kitchen.

"Stefania?" I hear him calling me, but I ignore him and run straight to the sink. I open the tap and wash my face. This can’t be happening. I have to wake up now. "Wake up, Stefania; please wake up,"

"Ania, you are awake," he says, grabbing my arms to stop me from slapping myself, but I push him off of me and bury my claws in my thigh. My eyes widen as the pain shoots up my hip, and I realize he's right; I’m awake. He says something, but I don’t hear it as I take a long stride up to him and grab him by his jacket.

"Listen to me. You are Paris Athanasios Iraklidis. You are the Prince of Gelurion, and even now, if you listen, you will hear the cheers of your people celebrating your crowning. Do you know why that is? It’s because they respect you, they love you, and the trust caused that love and respect. They trust you; they believe in you, Paris because you have always done right by them. You have always prioritized their needs, even though you aren't king yet. You cannot let some weak human ruin all that. The gods are testing you, and you cannot let your people see you fail. I know it’s not easy. Rejecting your mate turns you inside out, but you have to Paris, you have to. You have to remember what’s important. Humans hold no importance to us. They are nothing.

The gods truly favor you because this is the easiest test yet. They gave you someone of no significance so that it could be easy. If you fail to do this, you will be weak in their eyes—in the eyes of your people. You will break their hearts, Paris," I tell him, holding him tighter and more tears escape his eyes, causing me to hug him. But I freeze before pulling back from the hug, horrified. I’ve been so busy trying to process what he’s saying that I ignored it. I didn’t pay attention to the other scent on him.

"I’m sorry," he says, and I step back from him, staggering. The other scent is weak; it's a human scent —it's her scent.

"No," I whisper, recalling how he disappeared on me last night. I remember how Antonis couldn’t look me in the eye as he told me he had business to take of, even though I knew he was done for the night. He was going to see her. Antonis knows; they all know. I shake my head in denial, gutted by the betrayal, and my hands move to my stomach while a lump rises in my throat, blocking my airway. The thought of sharing him with a human is nauseating, and I don't know if I can do it.

"She is human, Paris." My tremulous voice comes out soft, desperate to get through to him. But his reply knocks the air out of my lungs. He says she's his mate. Human or not, she’s the other half of his heart.

"What are you saying to me?" I step up to him and grab his jacket again. Is he choosing her over me? Is it what he’s been trying to tell me all this time? While I’m busy thinking, he wants to take her as his mistress?

"I’m sorry."

"What are you saying, Paris?! Stop telling me you are sorry! What have you come to tell me?!"

"I’m going to make her my queen," he says, and my knees give in, and I collapse to the ground. He’s choosing a human over me?

"Please–why are you doing this to me?" I ask, grabbing him with my trembling hands as he kneels before me. “This is me," my voice breaks as I look into his eyes, which are unrecognizable for the first time in my life.

"I’m sorry," he whispers again, his own voice breaking, and my hands fly to my stomach, feeling my strength draining. After everything we’ve been through together and everything I’ve sacrificed? This is it? He's turning his back on all of it for a weak human? I love him. I was about to kill my father for him. I was about to turn on my family, and this is how he does me?

"The gods know I never meant to hurt you, Stefania," he says, trying to touch me, but I repel, for the first time in my life, disgusted by his touch.

"I need to be alone." My voice comes out softer than I intended, but he hears me.

"I’m sorry," he says, getting to his feet, tears still coming out of his eyes, and I look away, unable to continue looking at him. He exits the living area, and I collapse to my side when the door slams shut, breaking down.

"Who is he?