Chapter 3 - Guilt

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Tory

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“Who is she, really?” Eva asks, stepping up to me before I can reply to her first question, and I swallow hard because, one, I don’t know how to explain the situation to her, and two, it’s not my place. “I thought you said he wasn’t seeing anyone,” she adds, and my heart clenches at the hurt look in her eyes.

“He isn’t,” I start, still unsure what to say. I feel like I owe her since I got involved by telling her he wasn’t seeing anyone. I shouldn't have done that, but I couldn’t say I didn’t know since she already knew he was Anton’s brother; she would have known I was lying. Plus, I was too excited and happy they were mates. I was happy that my best friend was mated to a good man. She’s been through a lot and deserves all the love. So, the whole mess about Stefania flew out the window, and I started rambling, and now I don’t know what to say.

“Don’t lie to me,” she says with teary eyes, and I take her hands.

“I’m not lying. They aren’t seeing each other.”

“Then why did the driver think I was her?”

“What?”

“He called me Miss Ania,” she says, and I’m shocked, but I quickly explain that he was confused. I tell her that many people don’t understand Stefania and Paris’s relationship and think they are together. Also, the driver was probably new and trying to impress. I don’t know what I’m saying, but Paris is the one who has to explain to her what’s going on. I can see she’s not really convinced, and I feel bad that I can’t put her mind at ease, but it’s just what it is— a complicated mess.

When I told Eva Paris wasn’t seeing anyone, I meant he wasn’t in love with anyone. But if I had put it like that, I would have had to explain what I meant, which would have been overstepping. Paris is my friend, but he’s my prince first, so I always have to tread carefully.

Stefania and Paris are betrothed, but they are not in love. Instead, their fathers arranged their union to strengthen their alliance as a token of appreciation to Stefania's father, King Dimitris Andreadis. Stefania's house will become their official second house after their marriage.

Decades ago, there was a great war between dragons and wolves. The Wolves won, but many lives were lost in the battle, including the Lycan king, King Athanasios Iraklidis. Paris’ grandfather and his three elder sons, leaving only Paris’ father, who was still a young boy who had yet to understand what it meant to rule a kingdom.

The great King Athanasios had ruled for centuries, longer than his father. He wasn’t a kind king, which made him feared rather than loved. So when he fell, it was the wolf kings’ chance to overthrow the great house and rule themselves. They weren’t going to give the boy an opportunity to grow up and become a tyrant like his father.

King Athas Ioannis Sarris, the second-most-feared king after the Lycans, led the attack. His house was the second at the time and most powerful, with the largest army. On his right stood King Argo Konstantinos Drivas, second to King Athas. Stefania's father’s kingdom was the third most powerful after King Atha’s, and he disagreed with crucifying a boy for his father’s sins. But he couldn’t stand against Athas alone. So he went to the other kings and tried to speak to them and show them reason. Lycans keep order; they maintain balance, and without them, the kingdoms would collapse into chaos. Greed for power would swallow them, and all would be lost. But the kings were too angry to heed his warnings; only one did, King Argo.

He realized their mistake and joined Stefania's father, but they weren't enough to defeat all the king’s armies. So they pretended to go along with the plan, and when the battle was almost won, they turned on their fellow wolves, and Stefania's father killed King Athas, ending the fight.

The wolves were defeated, and King Athas’ family was put down for the King’s betrayal of the crown. Only his youngest son, Antonis, who was still in his mother’s breast, was spared and taken by our king to raise as his own.

Paris’s father asked Stefania's father to name anything as a thank you for his sacrifice, and he wanted the first King’s son’s hand for his daughter, who was still in her mother’s womb at the time. The Lycan King agreed, and that’s how Paris and Stefania's union came to be. It was decided should they meet their mates since it was inevitable, they would reject them.

Stefania found hers two years ago. Our wolves awaken at eighteen, unlike Lycans who's Lycans awaken at twenty-one. Lycans live longer than ordinary wolves, which is why some things are delayed. Anton says Stefania rejected her mate, but Paris was still to find his, even though he turned twenty-one four years ago.

His twenty-fifth birthday is in ten months, and if he hadn’t found Eva, he was going to marry Stefania. I was ecstatic when I discovered he and Eva were mates, but later, after everything had settled down, I remembered what it meant, and I was scared for my friend.

Humans don’t know about our existence, but they feel the bond when mated with us. They don't understand it. They think they are lusting over the person, not knowing it’s deeper than that. But that’s not what scared me. When wolves reject wolves, they go through soul-wrecking heartbreak, but they heal, and if they are lucky, they are even given second-chance mates. But that’s not the case for humans.

Humans are weak, and the rejection collapses their minds, and they go crazy. They are seldom mated to wolves, and the wolf council presides over their rejection, unlike wolf-to-wolf rejections. It’s against our laws to reject your human mate without informing the wolf council and stating your reasons for the rejection. They try to protect the humans, and you are punished if found guilty of breaking that rule. But in Paris’s case, it would not be the same.

He doesn’t abide by wolf laws, he's above that, and his mate’s fate was predetermined a long time ago by a higher council.

Anton disagreed with me bringing Eva to the party, but I had to try to get them together. I wasn’t going to let my best friend go crazy. I brought her here. If I hadn’t, chances are she wouldn’t have met Paris and activated the bond. Paris would have married Stefania in ten months, and the bond between him and Eva would have been severed when he marked Stefania. But now I’ve brought her here. I wasn’t just going to sit back and do nothing.

He had often told me in secret that Paris regretted agreeing to his union with Stefania, and that gave me hope. I cried after she ran out of the hall; my heart was shattered, seeing what fate awaited her if Paris rejected her. Anton’s words rang in my ears, and I wondered if I had done the right thing. But before I could do anything, I saw Paris get up, and the look in his eyes told me where he was going. I was on top of the world when they both didn’t return.

Stefania, on the other hand, was so confused when Anton told her Paris had to go because they had just arrived together, and she knew he was done for the night. But it wasn't Anton's place to tell her.

Anton said I mustn’t get ahead of myself. He reminded me of Paris’s responsibility and that no Lycan or royal has ever been mated to a human, but he could have rejected her on Thursday. He could have ended it there, but he didn’t, so I refuse not to be hopeful. They spent the night together, which I consider a good sign.

“I’m going to go take a shower,” she says, and I tell her to make it quick because I have questions, making her beet red. I know they didn’t have sex, but I have to pretend like I don't since I can't tell her how I know. Plus, I'm still curious. She looks back at me and smiles, asking, “What?” Seeing me still standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking at her, and I open my mouth to say “nothing,” but the smell of burning meat sends me running to the kitchen.

“Shit!” I mutter, getting inside, and I hear her laugh. At least I’ve got her laughing again.

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Antonis

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“Here,” I place a glass of whiskey in front of Paris, and he takes it and throws it back while I take a seat in front of him. I’m worried about him and wish I knew what to say, but I don’t. Paris called me this morning, freaking out after he spent a night with his mate instead of rejecting her as he should have done. I knew he accepted her when they didn’t come back.

“My heart broke when I followed her outside. I saw what the bond was doing to her and felt her turmoil. I hated myself for what I was about to do, but I was still committed to getting it done. There was no other way. I was about to condemn her to a fate worse than death, but it was our fate. It didn't matter how shitty I felt or how regretful I was, but when she looked at me, I couldn’t. She was a mess and didn’t know what was happening, and seeing her like that weakened me.

I gave in to the urge to comfort her and lost sight of what was important, and now I’m fucked,” he says, taking his face into his hands, and I place my hand on his shoulder; my heart broken for my brother.

This is a messed-up situation, and I can’t even begin to imagine what he’s going through. I don’t know if I’d be able to be as strong as he has been if I had been forced to marry someone who wasn’t my mate and reject my mate. And now, on top of all that, his mate is human. That has never happened before, and humans are frowned upon. They are regarded as weak, and he isn’t just any royal. He’s thee prince, and when they marry, he’ll be king, and she’ll be thee queen. So, even if he decides to marry her and breaks the promise he made to his father of honoring his wishes, she would never be accepted. Even if his father somehow does, the council would fight it. Her life would be a living hell.

“What are you going to do?” I ask as he suddenly gets to his feet after pouring another glass.

“I don't know. I'm tired,” he says, causing me to get to my feet as well.

“You are my brother, and I will stand with you no matter what decision you take, but I have to ask, if you decide to marry her, will you be able to handle what will come with it? Will she?” I ask, and he says he doesn't know; all he knows is he can't reject her. I pour for us again, we drink one together, and he leaves.

I pray the gods help him. They made this union. They chose to bring her here now, surely they must know what they are doing.

Tory thinks I want Paris to reject his mate, but I don’t. I don’t think anyone besides Paris wants this union more than I do. I resent Dimitris Andreadis for stabbing my father in the back, and I think he's a greedy traitorous fuck.

I know what my father did was treason, and it would still hurt, but I would have lived with it if he had been killed by the Lycan armies, not stabbed in the back by one of his own. I was a baby when it happened, but Paris’ father sat me down and told me everything when I came of age. He didn’t want me to hear it from other people.

I was shocked when he told me. Up until that day, I thought I was his son. Even after I had noticed he had started to groom Paris for the throne instead of me, the older son, it still never occurred to me. I was seventeen when he told me, and he chose to tell me then because I was getting my wolf the following year. If he hadn't, I would have gotten the surprise of my life when I got a wolf instead of a Lycan. My world collapsed when he told me. I wanted to die.

Even though they’ve never made me feel unloved, finding out I was a prisoner of war broke me. It took me a few years to come to terms with it, and they were there the whole time, loving me still. The pain never completely disappeared; I don’t think it ever will, but I’ve learned to live with it—to make it part of me. But I will never forgive Stefania's father. I will do my duty to my house and King, but my heart bleeds every time I look into his eyes. So, I would give anything to have the serpent booted out of this palace.

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Paris

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I glance at the time while stopping in front of Stefania's place; it looks dark, understandably so since it’s 10:45 pm. She is an early sleeper. I sigh, running my fingers through my hair, not even knowing how I got here. One minute I was on my way home, and the next, I was coming here. I stare at her door, my heart breaking at the thought of breaking her heart, and I’m scared of how she will react. She can’t force me to marry her; no one can, and that’s not what I’m afraid of. I’m afraid she will resist the breakup, and I will have to force her. I don’t want to. Our marriage was arranged, but we formed a real connection, and I know it turned into love for her.

She's in love with me and has been for years now, but because of the selfless person she is, she's never confessed it or made it a factor because she didn't want to put me under pressure. I love her too, but not in the way she loves me. I love and care for her deeply but as a friend.

She’s been there for me through a lot of shit in my life and loved and supported me with all she is. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t see myself falling in love with her, and that’s what hurt me the most about our relationship.

She’s given her all and only wants one thing from me, and I can't give it to her. My heart froze the night my Lycan woke up, and I realized what it is that I had done. I was a young boy when my father sat me down and told me about the alliance he had made with Stefania's father. He started by telling me what he did, and I was already willing to give anything to the man who saved my father’s life when he proposed marriage.

I was honored to do what was expected of me. Sacrificing a mate seemed easy enough. But I didn’t know what I was talking about. When my Lycan awakened, it felt like a nail had been drilled into my heart and left to rot. I didn’t know how it felt to have a mate, but the feeling I got just thinking about it made it clear I was never going to be complete without her, so my heart shut off, and that made me so guilty because Stefania didn’t deserve that.

She made the same sacrifice I did, but she wasn’t whining and complaining about it. She pushed through and opened her heart to let me in. And now all her sacrifice is going to be for nothing.

Now I’m about to rip her heart out and force her to watch it bleed. But what choice do I have? I have to be a monster to someone, and it has to be her. She stands a chance to recover one day, but Evaki doesn’t. If I reject her, I’ll kill her.

I look at myself in the rearview mirror for the last time before stepping out of the car, my legs turning numb as I walk up to her doorstep. The lights come on on the third knock, and after a moment, the door opens.

“Hey, what are you doing here? Is everything okay?"