Chapter 4

I tried to open my eyes, but it hurt, so I closed them again. Actually, everything hurt. The smell of disinfectant and medicine filled my nose. So I wasn’t dead? That fact disappointed part of me somewhat.

“Yes, her throat is healed,” someone with a muffled voice said in my ears.

As my head cleared, the voice or well voices became clearer. Once more, I tried to open my eyes. After a moment, I adjusted to the lighting. I was in an unfamiliar rectangular room with several empty beds. Where was I?

I turned my head to the other side and saw an unfamiliar man next to me and behind him was Kalen. So many nights I had dreams like this. I couldn’t believe it. It wasn’t a hallucination. Kalen was alive! He came back! I knew it. Tears ran down my face and I struggled to get up from the bed. I didn’t care about anything else but him being alive. I rushed to him, throwing my arms around him.

“Kalen, You’re alive! You’re really alive,” I said, hugging him. My voice was hoarse and shaking from whatever Lena and Carl forced me to drink, but my heart danced. “They said you were rogue and dead. But I knew you weren’t. You wouldn’t leave like that.” I greedily looked at every detail of him, his hair, his eyes... a scar I’d never seen before ran down from the corner of his eye to his cheek.

He looked at me, without saying a word or a trace of temperature in his eyes, as if I was a stranger. The smile on my face froze.

“Kalen, what’s wrong…”

“Your job is done, doctor. Leave,” Kalen told the other man coldly.

“But-” he started to say, but when Kalen glared at him, he stood and left.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” My heart felt as if an invisible hand gripped it. Pain filled my chest. I didn’t know why…Then what happened before flashed back to my mind.

Carl… anger boiled through me, but fear soon replaced it. Kalen must have misunderstood me. He believed Carl’s nonsense. “Kalen, listen to me. I didn’t do that. Everything Carl said was not true. I didn’t seduce him, I didn’t...”

“You didn’t marry him, right?” He shook his head and gave me a wry smile.

My heart sank. I stood there, with my mind blank. I didn’t know what to say. Never in my life had I regretted anything more than I did marrying Carl. I was afraid to meet Kalen’s eyes. I couldn’t stand his disappointment and anger.

“Why didn’t you wait for me? Why did you run off and marry someone else?” His voice remained cold, and the sharp tone told me this wasn’t some heartfelt plea, but a cold, angry demand.

“I had to, but…” I told him anxiously.

His expression hardened. “What do you mean you had to? You had to drag Carl into your bed? Do a strip for him?” Anger ignited his voice, and it grew louder. I cringed, hating that he believed Carl’s lies. “Marry him, in just 6 months since I left” With a sudden burst of rage, he slammed his fist against the mirror by my side. The glass shattered, shards scattering everywhere.

I flinched, for the first time afraid of Kalen. “I had to because…” I started, then stopped, tears spilling down my face and I couldn’t help but start shaking.

“Because what?” He stared at me, and the fire in his eyes was enough to burn me.

“Because…” I stammered, with the picture of my son appearing in my mind. My sweet little Caden. Pain hard and fresh tore through me. How could I tell him? How could I tell him I trusted Carl, believed his false promises, and that got our son killed?

I buried my face in my hands, and the tears continued to flow ceaselessly. “Because…” I gripped the necklace tightly, hopeful it could give me enough support to say the truth. But I couldn't. Telling Kalen would make it all real again.

I stepped away from him, hoping to find a little space so that I could escape such a nightmare. I turned my head to the other side when I saw a symbol painted on the wall. Shock washed over me. The full moon with a wolf’s head, howling all in dark blue. My blood ran cold. That was the symbol of rogues, which meant that this was rogue territory. So Kalen was the rogue. Carl was actually telling the truth. Why? Why did this have to be the one truth Carl told me?

Kalen followed me closely and seized my arm. “Let me tell you the reason.” He pinched my chin and forced me to look into his eyes. “Because you are a flirtatious slut. You are a liar.”

“Liar. I was the liar.” I murmured, unable to believe what he just said to me after he lied to me about who he was? A bitter smile forced itself onto my lips as I glared at him. My anger grew, remembering the nights I couldn’t sleep because I was so worried about him. The months of telling Carl I wouldn’t marry him, because I was sure Kalen would come back to me. My little one who should have been alive if he were not rogue and hadn’t left without a word.

“How dare you question me? It’s you who lied to me and left me. It’s you, the bastard rogue, who caused this. Why didn’t you tell me your identity? Why didn’t you stop the war? Oh. maybe you are the one who wanted this all. Did you even care about me or did you want me all tied up for you so you could use me against my father? You are the liar. You bastard rogues are all irresponsible liars.“

“So your loyalty to me isn’t strong enough to last a few months on your own? I only deserve your love and devotion when you thought I was a member of a pack? As soon as you find out, I’m a rogue though I am not guilty or I’m no longer watching you, you run off to marry the first man you can find!” As he spoke, his voice rose into a shout.

“You have no idea what I’ve been through,” I told him and started to explain myself, but Kalen growled at me.

“What you have been through?” He laughed bitterly. “Yes, I can imagine sitting at home, having Carl at your feet was so hard. When you were busy with another man, I went through hell,” he said through gritted teeth. “Hell, Alyssa,” Kalen said, his now dark eyes never leaving mine.

“I’ve been through literal hell, and I finally get to come back and I find you married to that asshole. Instead of explaining, telling me why the hell you would do this to me, all you do is justify your fickleness by claiming that I tricked you because I didn’t tell you who I was? Who I am, beyond the fact that I was in love with you shouldn’t fucking matter?”

His eyes got darker as his anger rose. My heart pounded in my chest, remembering how easily he had killed those soldiers and how easy it would be for him to do the same to me. Was this the real Kalen? Had everything we went through just a facade?

“Won’t answer? Fine. Have it your way,” Kalen said. “Well, guess what? Tonight we’re celebrating. Who you called bastards is on the winning side of this war. Your pack has kneeled before us, begging for mercy, begging to be our bitch. Tonight, you’re going to be the entertainment.”

My head shot up, and I looked at him wide eyed in horror. What did he mean by that? Kalen grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the bed. “Wait, stop,” I cried, terrified of what he was going to do. Kalen didn’t stop or even look at me as he dragged me to the door. “Let me go!”

Kalen jerked on my arm. “Why? The party is just getting started. You want to whore yourself around, give men a show, Alyssa, then that’s what you’re going to do. Tonight you’re going to entertain the men!”

My breath froze in my throat. No, he couldn’t be suggesting that I… Clawing at his hand, I tried to free myself from him, but Kalen was so much stronger than me. Goddess, help me.