Chapter 5

TJ’s POV

He wouldn’t explain anymore and kept trying to change the subject back to how I was feeling when all I wanted was answers to what he had said, ‘what we are’. The words kept dancing in my head, but then again I didn’t know who I was so how the hell was I supposed to work out that cryptic message.

Somewhere inside of me, something had changed, annoyance at Erik’s words had bubbled leaving me frustrated. Deciding I could figure things out for myself and that I didn’t need anyone to do it for me. I glared at him “Please leave” I spat the words out “I want to be on my own”. He looked at me confused which soon turned to irritation at the sudden change in my attitude. Instead of saying anything else, I rolled over and turned my back on him. Erik said nothing but I knew he had left as his scent began to fade from the room. My anger soon turned to tears and I pulled my blanket up over me, hiding my face from the world.

At some point I must have dozed off, when I woke my eyes were puffy, I had clearly cried myself to sleep with tears staining my pillow. There was no time to think all I could see was red, rage was flooding my body and I couldn’t control it, perhaps I didn’t want to control it. My eyes quickly searched the room for Erik but I could tell he hadn’t been back since last night due to the lack of his scent, in some ways I was thankful that he hadn’t been back, another part of me longed for him to wrap me in his arms and take me away from this place, yet there was something powerful inside me that didn’t want him anywhere near me.

Throwing myself out of bed, with a shock of surprise that I was able to stand, I began to throw any thing I could get my hands on across my room almost like my body was no longer being controlled by my brain. Seeing people rush to my door I grabbed my bed and somehow managed to throw it against the door, blocking anyone from getting in or getting near me, those bastards were up to something and if they touch me right now I’m pretty sure I will kill them. As I grabbed more items to throw, I started to yell “PLEASE STOP” over and over, but it was like my body was doing its own thing and I was unable to stop. I continued to throw anything I could get my hands on, destroying everything in my path, it was like a frenzied rage had taken over me, where the only way to stop was to destroy.

Catching a glimpse in the mirror, I looked like a crazed person with dazzling red hair stuck up everywhere, my eyes were a solid black and as I observed myself a smile crept over my lips showing elongated canines and a growl left my mouth as I tilted my head watching myself, clearly pleased at the chaos I was causing.

His scent hit my nostrils, and I knew that this Erik was close, the desire to have him with me was pleasing yet another part of me wanted to rip his throat out and with that, I slammed my fist into the mirror, shattering the metal into tiny pieces and letting it clatter all over the floor with some shards piercing the skin on my bare feet.

My rampage continued, I couldn’t control what I was doing, it was obvious Erik was getting closer and for some reason this made me worse. His delicious scent getting stronger somehow made me stop in my tracks almost like he was controlling me, a weird sensation filled me when the smell of fresh blood hit me hard.

Blood was trickling out of the wound on my arm, it was no longer being held together with stitches and a large pool of crimson had formed on the floor where I stood. Panic took over and I hurled myself on to the floor behind the bed feeling the sudden weakness take over my body. I knew it wasn’t possible to see me from the window and sitting here enabled me to keep the bed in place a little while longer, preventing anyone from getting in. Who knew what the people in blue were going to do to me after this? I needed time to think, I needed to escape, if only I could get out and run.

“LET ME THROUGH” Erik was outside my door, his voice echoed in my ears, his scent filling my room, a part of me wanted him to sweep me up into his arms, the other part seemed to hate him. Why did he have to come?, I told him to leave me alone, he was becoming irritating, with his obvious gorgeous looks and the intoxicating smell that seemed to cloud my judgement, the most infuriating thing though was my own need to be near him all the time. I. Hated. That!

“Sorry Alpha, we can’t get in, that’s why we called you” the higher pitched voice said, “she has somehow blocked the door”. A lot of muttering followed which I couldn’t make out when I felt the bed jolt into my back, it was the hardest the door had been pushed so far causing the bed to move a few inches and leaving a shock of pain down my spine I still didn’t move, whoever this Erik was, I decided he was not going to get me. The side that hated him was definitely getting stronger.

Erik’s alluring voice drifted in through the small gap in the door “TJ, honey, please let me in”. his voice different then yesterday.

For a moment, my gut instinct was to let him in and let the devilishly handsome man wrap his arms around me and kill me if that was his plan, at least this weird feeling of being out of control would stop and I could be at peace.

My brain felt chaotic, when Erik was close I had a sense of calm that I couldn’t, maybe didn’t want to understand because I did not know who he was, and another part of me was so angry with him yet again I was unable to fully comprehend why.

This weakness was draining me, a second pool of blood was forming under my hand that had been resting on the floor, as I raised up my hand I watched the deep red blood oozing fairly quickly out of my wrist. “Damn it, I’ve lost to much” I frown, closing my eyes as I prepared myself in saying goodbye to the world I couldn’t remember.

“You’re bleeding, let me in NOW!” his words rattled through my skull, how did he know, he cant see me from behind the door, and just like he read my mind he responded “I can smell your blood”.

I started wondering if dying would be a better option, I’m quite sure I am bleeding out anyway. I pushed myself up off the floor, not really knowing what I was going to do, still watching the blood seep out of me, I started making my way to the bathroom on very wobbly legs, trying not to fall and climbed into the bath, slowly feeling myself slipping away, it was for the better right?