Road Trip

Diana

My eyes flutter open and I squint slightly from the rays of sun coming through the window. I lift my head and scan the room to see if my bed is still in its place - it is thankfully.

My free hand goes to my necklace which holds a key and I reach across unlocking the handcuffs.

I swing my legs out of bed and look over at my packed suitcase sitting in the corner. Maybe I can get out of going? I could fake an illness? I muse to myself.

My bedroom door swings open and crashes against the wall. Bonnie struts in "Morning bitch! Are you ready to partay?"

"Bonnie, I've just opened my eyes! And I need to do the plants and see my mom before we go" I say wearily feeling like I hadn't slept.

"I'll make you a deal... You get washed and dressed and I'll do the plants, then we can pop to see your mom as we leave...deal?"

"Okay.... I don't know what the rush is though, it's like 6am!"

"Just do it, c'mon chop chop.... Moooove bitch" she says as she claps her hands at me

"Bloody hell your so bossy!" I grumble as I walk to the bathroom.

I take my medication out the cupboard and swallow them down with some water before brushing my teeth. My mind wanders to last night and what I dreamt about. I can almost remember it, like it's at the tips of my fingers just out of reach. I focus and try harder, wanting desperately to remember. Like I need to remember.

Instantly I feel the familiar nausea and burn creep up my neck. I sit on the bathroom floor taking deep breaths. The harder I try to remember the more heat I feel and my head starts to pulsate. Like a migraine. Like my mother. I'm going insane just like her. Slowly losing my mind.

"DIANA COFFEES READY" Bonnie shouts snapping me out of my thoughts.

After quickly washing I throw on some joggers and trainers, pulling my long hair into a high pony tail. I grab my suitcase and head downstairs.

Bonnie is in the kitchen talking to the plants and wiping each leaf at a rapid pace.

" You know you're supposed to do that slowly.... and lovingly" I tease

"You're lucky I'm doing this at all. Now drink your coffee and shut the hell up before I drown your damn plants" she says sarcastically.

"Don't say that, they can hear you!" I whisper yell trying not to laugh my ass off.

Bonnie glares at me whilst holding a jug a to a plant threatening to drown it.

"Okay, okay I'm ready whenever you are" I say holding my hands up in defeat. "Just.... don't murder any plants" I giggle.

"Right then, let's go bitch" Bonnie says as she rushes me out of the house.

We walk the short distance to Bonnie's house and I put my suitcase in the car boot next to Bonnie's suitcase - which was already there waiting. Shocker!

We pull off the drive and make our way over to the small village hospital / nut house. Since there aren't many sick or injured or crazy people in the village, one building covers a multitude of medical issues.

Doctor Thorne had made my mom a private room which is almost identical to her bedroom at home. It even has some pieces of furniture and personal items and he had the walls painted the same colour. Aside from some medical equipment it was eerily similar.

"Do you want me to come in with you?" Bonnie offers.

"No. It's ok. I won't be long"

I get out of the car and walk inside passing the same staff as I do everyday. They always stop and nod their heads to me which I found odd at first but after nearly six years it had become normal practice. I even nod back sometimes.

I push open the door, my mom is sat in a chair overlooking the window. A blanket over her legs. She looks so frail and fragile. I walk over to her and pull up a chair to sit next to her.

I gently take her cold hand in mine.

"Hi mom. How do you feel today?"

The same line I say every fucking day. Hoping, wishing she would just turn and smile at me like she used to.

I rub my thumb gently over her hand whilst looking at her face for any signs of a reaction. Nothing.

"Well....." I say pausing "Me and Bonnie are going on a girls trip to a spa in the north"

Still nothing.

"I won't be gone long, I will be back tomorrow sometime. I'll come see you if it's not to late"

Still nothing.

My eyes sting with tears and I fight not to cry Infront of her. Blinking hard I lift my hand to push some hair behind her ear. Her face is pale and sunken making her look so much older than she really is.

"I'll do your hair for you if you like mom?"

Still nothing.

I walk to her dresser and open the drawer taking her hairbrush out. Memories of us sitting at it together when I was little flash in my mind.

I gently brush her dry lifeless hair. Being careful not to break any off since it's so brittle.

"Well you're all done. You look beautiful" I say as I sit back down next to her. She will always look beautiful to me.

Still nothing.

I look at her eyes and follow her gaze out the window to the treeline in the distance across the surrounding fields.

"What the....." I say not quite believing my eyes. Out in the distance is something moving fast, is it a dog? No, it's too large to be a dog.

I stand up moving closer to the window.

"Is that... A.... Wolf?!" It's disappears into the trees and I stand there bewildered, not believing my own eyes.

Something cold grabs my wrist and I jump as I spin round before realising what it is.

My mother has grabbed my wrist.

"Mom?" I say crouching down to meet her eyes.

Her eyes dart across to meet mine and I'm frozen, not even daring to breathe.

Her thin lips part slightly and she takes a raspy breath before trying to talk

"It's time".............

"You need to"..........

"Dieeeeee"

she stretches the last word as she struggles to breath. Her eyes move back to the treeline as she drops her hand back on her lap.

My heart hammers in my chest and I fight my rising emotions trying not to sob right there and then. She didn't mean it, she's ill, she doesn't know what she's saying. I chant over and over.

"Ok... I'm going now mom" I say trying to sound stronger than I feel but even I can hear the tremble in my voice. "Bonnie's waiting in the car. I will see you soon"

Nothing.

"I love you" I whisper fighting back tears as I kiss her cheek. I quickly turn and walk away before they spill down my face.

I close the door behind me and a muffled sob escapes my mouth. I dart into a nearby bathroom and slide down the door sobbing uncontrollably. I sit and let the tears fall for a few minutes before pulling myself up to splash my bright red face with cool water.

I replay the words over and over in my head.

She wants to die

And she needs me to help her do it

The tears start to form again and I splash more water on my face.

I could never - I would never be the person to end my mother's life. How could she ask me to do such a thing?

I take a deep breath regaining my composure and open the door stepping out into the corridor. Walking quickly back to the car, my eyes down not looking at anything or anybody.

I open the car door and get in. Trying hard to keep my face natural and not show the devastation I feel inside. Bonnie looks up at me and I just know. She knows. We've been friends too long and she can read me like a book. She wraps an arm round my shoulder.

"Wanna talk about it?"

I shake my head.

"Well..." Bonnie says "I brought some pre drinks for when we got there but I think you can start now" she leans over into the back rummaging around and pulls out a bottle of vodka. She opens it and takes a swig

"That'll put hairs on your chest" she shudders as she passes the bottle to me.

I smile and take the bottle taking a drink.

"Hey Bonnie"

"Yeah" she says starting the car

"Have you ever seen a wolf?"

Bonnie slams the brakes down and looks at me.

"Why would you say that?" Bonnie says looking startled.

"Ok... This is gonna sound crazy but I swear I saw a wolf across the field from my mom's window"

"Ummmm..... Are you sure it was a wolf?" Bonnie says nervously.

I pause for a second. "Well no, I'm not certain but it was too big to be a dog but....it doesn't matter. I'm not sure what it was to be honest"

"Oh.... Well if you're not sure then it could have been anything. A bear, a panther... You know how similar animals look" Bonnie chatters away almost nervously.

Bonnie's eyes glaze over for a few seconds like she's in a trance. But her facial expressions are like she's having a conversation with herself.

"Bonnie? Are you ok?"

"Yep" she says popping the P... "Now let's get this show on the road... Drink up bitch cos if you could drive - believe me I'd be in the passenger seat getting sloshed"

I take a small sip and gaze out the window trying not to think about my mother but the more I tried the more it bothered me. Looking at the bottle in my hand I took a long drink and swallowed it down with my emotions.

It wasn't long til I felt relaxed by the alcohol and flicked the radio on.

Me and Bonnie sped through the countryside screeching at the top of our lungs, laughing at the wrong words each of us would sing.

***************

Bonnie

I am stunned for a second and let me just say - that doesn't happen often!

Have you ever seen a wolf?

I thought it was a bloody trick question and for a moment I thought she knew!

My shock was soon replaced by anger, anger at the fucking furball prancing around outside in the field. I wanted to know who it was immediately so I could wring their scrawny neck!

"Dad!" I bark out into my mind.

"Bonnie? Everything ok?"

"No! Who's the idiot mutt who was running near the hospital - in plain view from Catherine's window?"

I can barely contain my anger whilst linking my dad and sitting so close to Diana.

"I don't understand Bonnie? There are strict running areas - you know this! The sensors would pick up anyone that deviated"

"Well Diana has just told me she saw a fucking wolf... Hardly a coincidence is it?"

"That's not possible, no sensors were activated.... And the run area is well over a mile away from the hospital!"

"You're sure?" I say suspiciously.

"Yes, positive. I'm looking at the sensors right now! I'm in the control room"

I suddenly have a sinking feeling that I can't ignore.

"Dad....... Is it possible that Diana can see that far and that clearly?"

"Given her strength and half shift last night, I'd say it's a possibility. We may have no choice but to tell her as soon as you're back" my dad replies sounding defeated.

"Shit... I mean is it safe? Hector must have had a good reason"

"I'm afraid we have no choice Bonnie... We've run out of time"

I suddenly felt as defeated as my dad sounded. I had no idea why we had to hide Diana but my dad was right, she was getting too strong we couldn't delay her shift any longer. I just pray that she forgives me for hiding this from her for so long.

"Ok, we'll tell her when we come back"

I look over at Diana gazing out the window. She has had to go through so much and now this.

Im going to make sure this trip is amazing!

"Drink up bitch"