ZOMBIE
Kristoff continuously knocked on my door since the moment I entered and banged the door in front of his face.
“Ashanti! Open up, please?”
I ignored him.
“Please! Baby, at least let me explain!”
I rolled my eyes and went to the toilet to shower and prepare myself for the congratulatory dinner. What was there to explain anyway? It is clear that they had betrayed me. They kept that freaking secret from me and now I am torn because it hurts so much.
Perhaps, it’s true that it is hard to forgive the persons close to you. Well, it is harder than those strangers who bump into you on the way.
I felt like I was eaten by my whole being. I didn’t even know what happened. All I know is that I can’t talk to any of them right now.
Dad and Kristoff.
No. Definitely not.
I don’t know when I would be ready to talk to them because I don’t know i
TRUTH HURTSWhere am I? That was the first thing I asked myself when I opened my eyes. I was in this white place with a single window. I am certain that this is not my room. And I swear, this isn’t Kristoff’s.I looked around and saw an IV line connected to me.So I am at a hospital?I looked to my right and saw a figure sleeping in the couch. Seems familiar but I can’t seem to remember.“Ashanti?”I flinched when I heard that voice.Kristoff.I immediately looked away as he began to walk towards me.“You are awake! Thank God!” He beamed as he hugged me tightly. I can’t even breathe. But why is this feeling taking over me once again?I don’t know but I just let him hold me like that. Damn. I must admit that I miss his touch. I miss him badly. But there is this fighting feeling that makes me want to go away.Bianca, th
MAKE UPAcceptance. An easy word to speak, a hard one to do. And what makes it harder is the fact that you don’t want to accept it. You resist that certain force to accept what is presented to you.As for me, that is what is happening.I am trying my best to try to convince myself to accept the reality but it just wouldn’t work. Every time I think about it—every time I think about her—everything in me just repulses. Like every cell in my body hates me for even considering the idea of accepting her into the family.It’s not like Bianca has done something really bad to me. But yeah, she somehow did. When she broadcasted in the whole Chicago that she and Kristoff had this history, she had done the worst thing to me.I just couldn’t get the fact that she knew that we are sisters—half-sisters—and she still came into our house, begging Kristoff to choose her. Well, aside from the
AS LONG AS YOU’RE SAFEIt took me a few tears and tantrums before Kristoff allowed me to visit Hunter. He just wouldn’t budge. I told him I won’t take long, I even promised, but he just wouldn’t blink. He even wouldn’t flinch. And I don’t get why he is too stoic about this thing. He feels so possessive. But hey, he isn’t showing any affection or any emotion about it either.But then, I shot a tantrum and didn’t talk to me and poof! He agreed in an instant.“Three minutes, Shan. I’ll be waiting for you for three minutes.” He warned me as we stand in front of Hunter’s room door.I nodded. “I know,” I replied.He has been repeating that instruction for the thousandth time and I have grown tired of it already.He sighed and gave me my phone. “Take this,” he said. “When that rings, it means your time’s up.”
KRISTOFFI know I have hurt Ashanti. I have crushed her heart. I lied to her. I have stepped on her feelings more than I could ever imagine. I have done the worst things a husband could do.But for everything that I have done, I have a reason.“Kristoff, I want to talk to you.” Ashanti’s dad, came into my office, Monday last week.I was shocked because never have I expected Shan’s Dad to appear in my office, any day of the week. But here he is. I looked at him and led him to the couch. “What is it, Dad?” I asked. He sighed really hard. “Promise me not to tell Ashanti about this. Don’t tell her that we talked. Not even a sound about this,” he told me with a serious face. I was intimidated. So, I nodded. He smiled weakly. For the time that I have known him, this is the first time that I have seen
START OF THE END“Don’t you have work today?” I looked at Kristoff who is cooking something.He looked at me and smiled. “Good morning to you too, Ashanti!” He greeted me sarcastically.I rolled my eyes and walked beside him. “Why are you the one cooking? Where is Lora and Jana?” I asked him.He smiled. “It’s better this way than make you the one to cook,” he told me.I scoffed. “Hey! You really know how to boost my self-esteem in cooking, don’t you?” I pouted.He smiled and wrapped his arm around me while he was mixing his dish with the other. “You look cute when you pout. It makes my morning complete,” he whispered.Suddenly, I felt my lips forming a smile and my face heating up. Damn Kristoff when he is acting like this. My heart is beating really, really, really fast.I suddenly felt his lips on my cheek. Ge
LEAVEI don’t know what to say. I can’t believe I was this close to actually accepting her. I’m relieved I didn’t get to accept her that much. Because if that happens, then I think it might hurt even more now that I have actually given in and submitted.I am walking on the streets of Chicago. I don’t really know where I am about to go.Then my phone rang. I smiled. I almost forgot I got a best friend.“Hello?” I answered Genevieve’s call.“Hey! Where are you?” she asked as soon as she heard my voice.I looked around. “Uhm… walking around?” I replied unsure. I don’t really know where I am. I was walking to a random place again.I heard her sigh on the other line. “Okay. Come to me. I am with some of Chester’s friends. We are at a café near 7th district.” She told me.I smiled and nodded.
RIGHT THINGSI pushed Kristoff away from me. I don’t like it when he is like this. I don’t like him begging me to stay. Because I know that he will be fine without me by his side.“Stop,” I told him as I panted. “Let’s stop this.” I repeated. “Kristoff, I don’t want this anymore.” I concluded. “Let’s just end this,” I told him while looking in his eyes.He looked shocked. And hurt. And broken.And…I can’t even get myself to look at him anymore. Because if I do, I’m afraid I won’t be able to do what I want to.I want a divorce. I’m tired. And I don’t know if I am doing the right thing. Should I really leave the person I have loved all my life because of someone who just appeared out of the blue?Should I leave Kristoff because Bianca needs him?I don’t even know what’s
MOVE ON“So where do you plan to go now?” Genevieve asked me. We are still at the café and I am still sulking over this decision of mine. Which, I am trying to convince myself that I am right.I shrugged. “I don’t know. I actually plan on taking a leave from work because I don’t think I can handle working with this kind of situation,” I replied, lifeless. Honestly, I feel like a zombie.I haven’t even been working now because of all the things that has happened to in a span of a single month. I can’t believe there could be tragic things happening all the way.Genevieve sighed hard. “Yes. I think you should relax first and free your mind from everything that bugs you right now.” She agreed. Of course, she would agree. She is my best friend in the first place.I nodded. “Although, I don’t exactly know where or when to start moving on,” I r
ASHANTI“I can’t take it anymore,” I told Kristoff as we were in the labor room. This morning, I had several Braxton-Hicks that made Kristoff panic. The contractions had been intensified from then up to now.“Baby, just hold on a little longer.” I don’t know who Kristoff is telling that—me or the baby.He gripped onto my hand as before planting a kiss on my sweaty forehead.I’ve known how painful it is to give birth but the ones I have read never really made me feel this way. This is—by far—the worst pain in my life. I have never even imagined feeling this excruciating pain.Dr. Johnson, my OB, with a nurse came towards us. The nurse explained that the doctor will be checking my cervical dilatation.“You’re fully dilated now, Mrs. Marx. You can push now.” Dr. Johnson told me and encouraged me to bear down.Kristoff was holdi
ASHANTI“I want to eat ice cream.” I raised my brow at what Kristoff told me. We are cuddling on the couch while watching the closing ceremonies of Asian Games, and then, there he is, pouting at me and hugging my body tightly.It was such an awful sight, to be honest. Kristoff and pouting should never be used in one sentence.“But it’s the middle of the night,” I replied and he pouted even more.I almost scoffed when I saw his face like that. Is he kidding me? Why is he acting like this right now? It was as if he is a baby or what.Truthfully, he was like this for the past few days. It’s too extreme to the point that I think he’s the pregnant one. He’s the one with raging hormones and not me.It’s too funny to even think about his expressions when he tells me that he likes pizza, ice cream, twin bananas, dragon fruits and what so ever.I’ve searche
ASHANTI“Are you alright?” Kristoff asked me as I paled when I was looking at the calendar. I was looking at my normal cycle before realizing that I am delayed. Three weeks delayed.I looked at him and nodded.He narrowed his eyes on me and sat closer to me. “Come on. You can’t fool me with that face of yours,” he beamed. “Tell me. What’s wrong, baby?” he asked in the sweetest voice that I have ever heard in my whole life.The way he calls me baby! I can feel my intestines coil with each other and the butterflies are flying all the way up to my throat. I want to throw up.I gulped when I realized that it’s true. I want to throw up. I immediately ran to the toilet and vomited on the bowl. Kristoff came running behind me, panicking about my condition.“Hey, what’s happening?” he asked me as he caressed my back. “Come on, I’l
ASHANTI“Please come to the bridal shower party!” Genevieve beamed at me as she just barged into my office like this. It’s her wedding in two weeks. Finally! We worked our butts off for this wedding because Genevieve wanted a different theme. She wanted a horror theme. According to her, marriage is scary. Hence, horror theme.I looked at her. “You know Kristoff won’t approve that kind of idea,” I replied.She pouted then walked to my desk. “Well they have this thing called Bachelor Bash and I think Kristoff told Chester that he would come,” she told me as she sat on the chair in front of my desk.My eyes widened at her. “What?!” I asked in disbelief.Genevieve nodded at me.I shut my eyes and contained my cool. How could he do this? He told me he wouldn’t go because he doesn't want me to go!I sighed hard.Genevieve looked at me. &ldqu
ASHANTIKristoff walked me inside his office and he led me to his couch. I looked around and wow. His office is really big and neat. It’s not like mine.His office is like those offices I see in dramas. All leather and all made of expensive woods.He let me sit on the couch and he sat beside me. Really, really close. I can feel my heart beating really, really fast.He always had that effect on me. He always had that power in me. He makes my heart beat faster and slower at the same time.“Are you sure you're okay?” he asked me as he looked at me.I smiled and nodded. I can't even talk because I am too nervous I would stutter because of all the feels.I just can't get enough of Kristoff and his grease. He would always make me feel nervous. No matter how long we’d stayed together.He smiled at me and wrapped his arm around me. “I missed you,” he told me as he kissed m
ASHANTI“What are you cooking, Ashanti?” Genevieve asked me as she leaned on the table while I am cooking something. She sounded really awful though. Oh. I can’t blame her though. I am not a goddess in the kitchen, okay. I acknowledge that.None taken.Instead, I chuckled at her. “I’m cooking something for Kristoff,” I replied as I continued to slice the onions.Genevieve wrinkled her nose. “That? You’re cooking that for your husband?” she asked me as she pointed at the onions.I looked at the onions then blinked at her, nodding. “Why? Is there something wrong?” I asked her.She sighed hard and rolled her eyes on me. Really now, Genevieve? What in the heavens did I do wrong?“Sissy, you won’t make a circle-shaped onion when you cut it that way. Cut it cross-sectional!” she told me.I looked at her confused. “Cro
ASHANTIThey say happy endings don’t just exist in fairy tales. They also exist in reality. One has to be happy and fulfilled to say that it’s the end. So, if one is not yet happy and fulfilled, it’s not yet the end. One has to learn to have faith. Keep the faith, as they say.I had my share of ups and downs. I even think there are more downs than ups. But that’s okay. At least I am happy right now. I am contented.Everything’s back into place. Everything’s going well again.Mom and Dad just celebrated their Pearl Wedding Anniversary, which means they are married for thirty long years. Who would have thought that married couple would reach that, especially nowadays when couples tend to break up? I even laughed at one quote I read that couples of today break up more often that one takes a bath.Is that even serious?Well, my parents are the living proof that marriage can be long-
CHANGE“Are you sure you’ll do this?” Hunter asked me as I am walking to Bianca’s hospital room.It’s been about a month when I last saw her in person. That was when Dad was hospitalized. Now, Dad already recovered. He’s at home and resting like a king.Kristoff and I have been better. He visits me every day in my unit. He’s trying to convince me to move back to our old house but I declined and refused the offer. Somehow, I loved what and where I am now.But what difference did it make? He comes home to me every day. His clothes got piled up in my place and it seems like we are living in one house again.Hunter, well, he is still Hunter Looney, the jerk with the inspirational messages from time to time. Nothing has changed with our relationship. He’s still my closest guy friend. And I am still his hot topic friend. I don’t know. He told me that one time.And no
RECONCILIATION“Dad.”I am watching Bianca hug Dad so tightly with tears brimming in her eyes. She was so broken and now she found her strength again.“My dear Bianca,” my dad hushes her as he patted her head.Kristoff came over and comforted her once again. I must admit that I am jealous. Not of Kristoff but of Dad.He looked at her with so much passion and concern. I don’t know what else. He has never looked at me with those eyes ever. Was it because Bianca’s sick? Or was it because I rebelled and I was too stubborn that I defied him because of my childish cries?I don’t know. And now I am standing near the door of his hospital room, numb and dumbfounded. Frozen. Stoned. I can’t move. I don’t know what to tell him.Should I just leave? Would I aggravate his condition when I stay here longer? The last time I talked to him was the day before he was rushe