Hi guys,Thank you so much for liking and reading my very first BL book. Writing this is kind of nerve-wracking for me because I constantly keep thinking that I'm making some kind of mistake or that my voice in the story is getting too feminine...however, I have decided to just...quit my fears and go for it. And that you so, so much for your support on this story. This is getting more views than my exclusives.However, I'm not always able to update these BLs on time because I'm mainly focused on my exclusives and matching my word count. I try my best to update as frequently as possible...which, I admit, isn't as much as I want to. Sometime I lack motivation and sometimes it's health issues or a combination of both. But I'll try to finish both my BLs by June, Pride Month...I hope!And, now comes the important part! First and Ben!Yes, First and Ben's story is going to be separate and it's going to be toxic and filled with SA. I think we've established by now that First isn't exactly a n
Chapter 23: Alone With YouKim:Kim held onto Kit’s hand tightly as he got them out of the warehouse.Outside there were several cars waiting; men stood on alert in black suits, guns drawn, ready to attack at any given moment. They were all his men. If P’First had thought that he’d come without backup, then he had been gravely mistaken.But Kim hadn't wanted the situation to reach a bloodbath. So he had taken only a few with him inside the warehouse…a decision he was now regretting as he saw Kit turn back to look at his friend several times, until the doors to the warehouse were shut on his face.“P’Kim…” Kit’s hand tightened on his, his head still turned towards the house still. “Ben…”“Will our friend be alright?” Earth came forward to ask Kim, even though he was scared himself after watching all the bloodshed. “He’s not going to…P’First won’t…”Earth tried to say the words but he wasn’t able to continue. He just couldn’t get the words past his throat.“Let’s get out of here first.”
Chapter 24: SurrenderingKit:Kit watched P’Kim drive into yet another compound that evening. It wasn’t the same compound that he had brought him to the first night they had been together, but this one appeared even bigger, more expensive than any place he had visited before.How many condos do you own? He wanted to ask P’Kim, but decided against it.He was a rich man with connections in the criminal underworld. Kit had no doubt that he owned plenty of places and he hadn't even been to half of them yet.P’Kim stopped in front of one of the larger buildings and they both got out of the car. He was escorted to the elevators through the main lounge area. Everything in this apartment building screamed expensive. From the automatic glass sliding doors to the huge chandelier in the main waiting room. Kit was in awe of everything he saw, especially the polished marbled floors that shore bright in the overhead lights.This time, the elevator stopped at the fourteenth floor and P’Kim took him
Chapter 25: What Did we Get Into?Kit:Kit rolled over in bed, his hands stretched along the space next to him, searching for the warmth of the bigger body that had held him all through last night. However, now, the space beside him was cold, isolated.He opened his eyes with a start, his eyes instantly roaming around the humongous bedroom for the familiar face of the man that had brought him here the night before.Was this some kind of payback? His mind instantly thought the worst. Was he gone because the last time they had sex, he had been the first to leave?But all his thoughts were dispelled when he found a tiny yellow paper stuck to the pillow next to his.Sitting up in bed, he took the paper into his hands and wiped the sleep from his eyes so he could read the note in the clear handwriting that was clearly left for him to find.‘Had to leave early. Will make it up when I get back.’Kit furrowed his eyebrows, reading the note once again before sitting up in bed and going through
Chapter 26: AliveKit:“Earth!” Prem’s voice forced Kit to open his eyes as Earth’s hands were ripped off of him.Kit found Prem standing between the two of them, blocking his attack with both hands before he pushed Earth back hard enough that he stumbled to the ground, falling onto his back.“Get the fuck away from us, Prem!” Earth hissed, his anger no longer under his control. “You have no idea what this son of a bitch has done! Don’t come in between us!”“Stop it already!” Prem hissed back, standing in front of Kit like a shield. “Anything you want to solve or fix can be done in a civilized conversation! Do not make a scene here!”It was only then that both Earth and Kit looked around at the crowd that had suddenly started forming around the stone tables. People stopped on their way to class to look at all the fuss going on and it had drawn other curious souls to the ground as well.Earth hadn't realized it, but their conversation hadn't been as quiet as he had wanted it to be.“Co
Chapter 27: Better Left UnknownKit:Right as the bell rang for class, both Kit and Earth all but jumped out of their seats, but had to wait until the teacher left before they could hurry over to Ben’s table.“We need to talk.” Kit told him urgently. “Let’s go to the terrace, so we can talk in private before Prem gets here.”Ben closed his textbook on a sigh. “Did you guys have breakfast? I’m hungry.”It was only then that he realized that not only Kit himself, but all three of them had skipped breakfast.“Let’s text Prem to get us lunch from the cafeteria on his way here.” Kit suggested. “It’ll be better if he comes in late. It’ll buy us more time to talk.”“I agree with him.” Earth sighed, looking at Ben. “Let’s get to the terrace first?”“Alright,” Kit took out his new phone. “Does anyone have his number memorized? I…think we all lost our phones yesterday.”Much to their surprise, Ben took out a brand new phone himself before he texted Prem and let him know about the change of plan
Chapter 28: The ReasonKim:“Sire…are you sure this is a good idea?” Aawut asked Kimhan for probably the thousandth’s time as they got off their private helicopter at the shores of Pattaya city, right outside The Paradise Resort, which was one of Kimhan’s many legal businesses.“Aawut…” Kim sighed, rubbing at his temples as the helicopter blades finally stopped their rotation and the ear-splitting noise finally came to an end, giving everyone instant relief.“Kit and Kaya have a right to know, I understand that.” He told his right hand man. “But how do you expect me to tell them that I came here to look for their father, who has just robbed another Jao por (mafia don) and run away with the money?”“But what if he contacted either of them?” Aawut insisted. “Wouldn’t it help us find him sooner? Pattaya is filled with all kinds of thugs. He could easily be taking shelter at any of the organized crime groups in the city or forming a gang of his own right now.”“Forming a group isn’t as ea
Chapter 29: Enemy’s EnemyKim’s P.O.V“The Russian’s aren’t locals,” Kim cursed out. “How the hell did they come in contact with him?”And when had the Russian mafia made base in Thailand without the knowledge of any of the Chao Pho families?Some traders now and then weren’t unheard of. In fact, some of the suppliers that came from overseas to trade weapons and drugs were members of the Bratvas. But an entire clan with a don residing here in Pattaya? That wasn’t something Kimhan had expected to hear.“At the south of the Central Market area, the Russians have set up their base in one of the warehouses.” Aawut informed Kim. “The base didn’t exist until about two months ago, but according to the locals here, one of the gang leaders was killed in an open fire between the gangs and they had taken over both the gang’s members and their hideout as well as their remaining stash.”“And now they’re operating out of that base while using their men to do their dirty work.” Kim grit his teeth to
Chapter 90: Unexpected NewsKit:Kit stood in his room, clothes, and essentials sprawled out over the bed. Packing had started casually enough—he’d just been grabbing a few shirts and some toiletries, tossing items from his closet onto the mattress. But as his suitcase began to fill, the reality of the trip hit him hard.What was supposed to be a light-hearted vacation to celebrate finishing his second year of college had taken a dark turn. He was going to Chiang Mai, but it wasn't just for the sights or the fun. It was to find his father, the man he once looked up to but now blamed for everything that had gone wrong in their family.Kit’s fingers paused over a stack of neatly folded shirts, and his mind started spiraling. How was he supposed to confront the man who had caused so much pain? The thought twisted his stomach, and he realized he hadn’t taken a full breath in a while. Slowly, he forced himself to inhale and exhale, trying to shake off the anxiety that was creeping up on hi
Kit:Kit could only nod, agreeing with Ben’s words, even though a part of him still ached. Knowing now that Ben had carried these feelings silently for so long — all those years of friendship, support, and sacrifices — it weighed heavily on Kit. The guilt flared at him, and before he could stop himself, he reached forward and wrapped his arms around Ben in a tight hug.“I’m so sorry, Ben,” he whispered. “I had no idea… everything you’ve done, the sacrifices you’ve made… even dealing with P’First for my sake. You didn’t have to do that.”Ben chuckled softly, his arms resting comfortably around Kit as he returned the hug. “It’s true that, back then, when I volunteered to stay with P’First that night, it was because I wanted to protect you. I thought it’d keep you safe, and I’d have done anything for that.” He pulled back slightly, a gentle smile on his face. “But now, I don’t regret it. I made my choices, Kit, and I don’t feel sorry for them.”Kit studied Ben’s face, the steady warmth i
Chapter 88: Didn’t Want to Change AnythingKit:Kit adjusted the strap of his vest, the unfamiliar weight pressing down on his shoulders as he stood in the shooting range. The gear felt strange, heavy, and bulky, but he forced himself to get used to it. Ben was by his side, moving around to check on his positioning, adjusting Kit’s stance and lightly pressing his shoulder to correct his posture.Any other time, it would’ve been calming, having Ben here. But, now there was an unspoken tension that Kit needed to sort out. Ben seemed to take everything in stride, unbothered by the pressure that Kit constantly felt bearing down on him."Relax, Kit," Ben murmured, stepping back and giving a warm smile. "You’re too tense. You need to be steady before you can shoot."Kit nodded, swallowing hard as he fixed his eyes on the target. He tried to breathe slowly, following Ben’s instructions, but every time he saw Ben’s easy grin or heard his laugh as he explained something new, an odd feeling set
Chapter 87: Hitting Two Birds With One StoneKit:P’Kim was sitting next to Kit in the back seat as P’David drove them back to the mansion. His mind was still stuck on the events that had happened earlier. He was no longer afraid because the moment had long since come and gone, but now, he could only think about how… inhumane his father had been.It seemed that he truly had no love of any kind for his own family. He was way too eager in threatening his life, as if he was not Kit’s father, and much more invested in what he wanted to get from Kit rather than listen to what Kit had pleaded for.And he even had the balls to threaten his pregnant daughter!Well, truth be told, Kit didn’t expect anything from him, so he was not hurt. Rather, he was just… surprised that any normal human being could do something as heartless as what his father had done. Then again, clearly his father wasn’t just any normal human being. Perhaps he was not even human anymore…“You did a great job,” P’Kim said t
Chapter 86: Unwanted ConfrontationKit:In the couple of days that followed, Kit did not dare let P’Kim out of his sight; he stuck to his lover like a shadow. He feared that if he looked away for even a second, something might happen to him or everyone else.Even though he had managed to talk himself out of being convinced his nightmare was a premonition, the fear was still there.When P’Kim had to go out for work, Kit would usually stay in the living room or his own bedroom and refused to leave the mansion. He wasn’t foolish enough to keep following P’Kim around, of course. He was satisfied with keeping his eyes on him while they were at home, but the outside world was a different story.Kit had called and talked to Earth later on. Their conversation had not been anything out of the ordinary as they hadn’t fallen out or anything, and in a matter of a few exchanges, they had already sorted out whatever differences they might have had the last time they met.But Ben… He was a different
Chapter 85: Use It Against HimKit:Kit stopped himself from spilling more of the truth to P’Kim. He shook hishead vigorously—he could not. If he slipped up more than he already has…god only knew what would happen next.“Ah, actually I couldn’t see their face,” he blurted out dishonestly. “Y-you know how dreams are, your brain either shows you a blurred figure, or some guy you saw briefly at the grocery three weeks ago.” Kit hoped it was a convincing lie, but he couldn’t meet P’Kim’s eyes, fearing they might give him away.“And… and anyway, you were right. It’s just a nightmare. It doesn’t matter anymore.”Kit released a deep exhale, before trying to return to the solace of his covers, only to be stopped by P’Kim, who held him by the shoulders, his hands firm and demanding not to be crossed.“Kit.”It was one single word. His name. And yet, his entire body became rigid.“Listen…” Kit started to say, “I’m really tired, so I should go back to sleep…”But P’Kim wasn’t listening. Instead
Chapter 84: A Terror in the NightKit:Kit was screaming before he even woke up, and by the time his consciousness took hold, his voice was hoarse, but he could not stop. He rose quickly from the bed, heart pounding frantically as though he had been running a marathon.He frantically looked around, searching for any signs of life. The room was dark, but the sound of shuffling footsteps outside and the low hum of murmurs was unmistakable.Relief and desperation washed over him in waves, and it was all that had been holding him back from crumbling right then and there. Curling in on himself, Kit let the tears fall, unable to stop the cries that left his lips, as if it would ease the pain in his chest.Even P’Kim’s immediate presence next to him couldn’t calm him down. He put a comforting hand on Kit’s back, pulling him into his embrace. “Hey, it’s alright. I’m right here. It was just a bad dream…”When Kit still wouldn’t look up from hiding his face in his hands, Kim went to give him a
Chapter 83: An Eerie SilenceKit:Kit woke up with a gasp, cold sweat dripping down his back. He had been trapped in eternal darkness, as though he was drowning and suddenly being pulled out of the water Ironically, even though he had woken up, he still felt like he was being suffocated even though he just escaped the hell of his subconscious.Cold sweat dripped down the side of his face. He looked around his room, trying to have his bearings back. It took a while for his disorientation to wear off. His head was spinning, and his heart refused to settle to a steady rhythm.“It was just a dream,” he whispered to himself, hearing his voice echo around him as though he was in a cave, but also muffled like he was underwater or hearing himself talk from a different room. “You’re fine.”But as much as his ears strained to listen to himself, his heart just wouldn’t cooperate. Still, it didn’t seem to matter because he was slowly starting to lose the dizziness that had held him hostage earli
Chapter 82: Now More Than EverKim:As Kim went back to the main mansion, he let his feet move on autopilot, his mind wandering and wondering how best to handle the situation and produce the most favorable outcome.While he didn’t feel bad about the subtle deception he performed to get to the truth of it all, he was very much bothered about Kit’s entire situation. He was worried about his teerak—it was clear he was going through a lot, burdened with the fact that his father was threatening him and all his loved ones.What’s worse was that he was also forced to endure a severe scarcity of confidants, so much that he resorted to seeking the help of the person he was least comfortable with.Kim couldn’t help but feel partially responsible for bringing Kit into the dangers of this world. If he hadn’t dragged Kit and his sister to this life, would they have been safer now? Would they have been happier?But then he started to rethink these notions. If he hadn’t taken them under his wing, Ay