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Chapter 45

Author: Naomi D.
last update Last Updated: 2022-08-01 20:28:26
Trigger warning. Depression. Suicidal thoughts. Self-harm.

Leia’s pov

I feel like shit. It’s the only fucking way to describe it. Some of it was the pain, my ribs, fingers and wrist hurt at first. But when I started to heal, I missed the pain. The pain distracted me from my fucking thoughts. And they were getting darker every fucking minute.

The only way to stop myself from thinking these things, was to sleep. I was so fucking tired anyway and sleeping was like disappearing for a while. Everything was too much. I wasn’t paying attention at school, but mom and dad were forcing me to fucking go. I couldn’t concentrate, I could barely fucking function.

When I did have time to think I would replay every fucking thing in my head. I would think about hurting myself, anything to stop myself from feeling so fucking bad. This whole fucking mess was my fault. I stayed with Mark. I didn’t fucking see what he was, even when everyone warned me. I made that stupid fucking pact to begin with.

An
Naomi D.

I had some extra time to write, because my kids are very lazy this monday. I might force them to go to a playground later. Chapter is a bit longer than usual. Hope you like the chapter. I have no experience with depression myself, but many people in my family have. i felt a bit depressed when my dad died, but that is different. I hope I described it in a way that feels familiar and you can relate to. I loved writing Asher like this big teddy bear that just wants to help Leia. Leia won't be cured immediately. this is a proces. But i think Asher made a start here. And Kate ofcourse, because she brought Leia here.

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Comments (2)
goodnovel comment avatar
Ariel Reneé Minor
I think you were spot on. I have ptsd from an abusive relationship. I have depression and anxiety that come from that. during the worst of it, I felt exactly as Leia does. it's different for everyone, but I think you nailed it for not having it outside of your grief. I do think that counts.
goodnovel comment avatar
nicety jerk
way to go Asher.... love it
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