20. Poems That Come From Deep Longing

Several students were seen passing by carrying trays of their lunches looking for a seat, meanwhile I was still playing with my cold food with a spoon and fork—still with the headset attached to the ear with the song from the boyband infinite.

I don’t have an appetite after Kim Sae Hee’s ghost told me the truth about what happened in the case of Renatta’s death. At first I didn’t really care about who Renatta was and what her relationship with Yuta was, however, after being terrorized by nightmares every time I wanted to sleep—forced me to think about this. Slowly I put down my spoon and fork and then touched the back of my head, I felt keloid-like lines on my scalp.

From a young age I was also confused about where the scar came from but, every time I ask my mother, she always replied that it wasn’t a wound but a birthmark that used to be in the form of a mole but, because I’m not comfortable with its existence I always scratch it until it bleeds and becomes a keloid