Her watch showed he was late. Tyler was never late, especially to pick her up from her appointment. Tucking her lip in between her teeth, she contemplated if she should call him. Would that be too similar to her acting like a girlfriend? Putting her thumb over his number in her contacts, she was about to press dial when she heard the roar of his bike.As he came to a stop in front of her and turned the engine off, he was apologizing. "Sorry I'm late. I was boxing with Layne, and I didn't realize what time it was.""Boxing?" she asked as she came down the steps of the front porch. Now that she was closer, she could see that his hair was wet. It looked like he had taken a quick shower before he came to get her."Yeah. Kinda like you going for a run. Layne and I box. He has the same kind of temper as me."Layne, she knew, was a Prospect who had been over in Iraq as a member of the armed forces. He probably did have a lot of aggression to get rid of. "I understand, I was worried."
I went to the grocery store yesterday, and I was scared to death. Some kid dressed up for Halloween and looked just like my attacker. I had a complete meltdown in the middle of the store. What does that say about me? Even I can tell I've been shaken ever since. I don't think I've been this fragile since the actual attack. Last night I barely slept at all. I even heard Tyler come to bed. I've never heard him come in the room before. I'm so on edge, I don't know what to do. I feel like I need to reclaim some piece of myself, but I'm not sure how to do that. I want to feel like I can protect myself and hold it together. I need some kind of outlet besides writing because I feel rage beginning to overtake my personality. I'm starting to get angry and I don't want to take that out on Tyler. He admitted to me that he's been boxing with Layne. That they beat the shit out of each other and that's the only way he can come to me without the anger. I'm not sure that it's healthy, but it's got to b
"Meredith, it's been a week since our last session. How have things been going?"She looked at the doctor, avoiding her eyes. This was supposed to be helping her, but it would never help her if she didn't come clean. That was something she realized now more than ever. Especially after the events of the last seven days. She took a deep breath and began talking to Doctor Jones."I've had an interesting week. I finally went out and about with someone besides Tyler and it was a complete disaster.""Why was that?""Denise took me to the grocery. Well, the grocery also has Halloween costumes for sale. I nearly had a panic attack because of the number of people in the store. Then at the checkout, some guy bumped into me. I looked behind me, and he was dressed exactly like my attacker was. He was so excited that his Halloween costume scared me, and I took off running. It brought back everything and I damn near passed out in the parking lot. I also had another nightmare that night."D
"Oh my God, this is the grossest thing ever," Meredith squealed, causing Tyler and Liam to laugh.The group of them were in Liam's kitchen, preparing to honor a time-tested tradition."I'd have to agree, and I've had children," Denise squealed along with her, causing the guys to double over with laughter."You think it's so funny, you two do it."Tyler sighed, taking pity on Meredith, and stood up from the kitchen table. He took off his cut and his shirt, obviously not wanting it to get dirty. Meredith's mouth went dry as the Sahara as he walked over. Funny as it sounded, she'd never seen him without a shirt on before. He was very careful with his nakedness when it came to her. She gawked appreciatively. It was obvious he worked out, the man had what looked like an eight pack on his stomach, and his arm muscles bulged as well, veins showing in his forearms. While she had seen the tattoos on his forearms, she'd never seen the full sleeves or the ones that marked his back and che
This had been a bad idea, Meredith realized as soon as she made her way out to the packed main room of the clubhouse. It hadn't been hard to get up the hallway that led to the dorm rooms where most of the other members slept. Some of them had homes. Those who didn't made their homes here. It was important that their private space be respected, so not a lot of people congregated in that tight spot. The main room, however, was a completely different story. Everything had been pushed to the side – except for couches, where she could see a lot more people congregating than she was comfortable with.The party was in full swing, and there were a ton of bodies packed into a very small space. She couldn't even bring herself to wear a costume, but a part of her had wanted to be amongst the action. She wanted to see what she was missing out on. Her eyes scanned the sea of bodies and locked with William's, who smiled warmly at her and saluted her with his beer. She smiled back, thankful that he
Meredith breathed heavily as she did her second lap around the Heaven Hill compound. The kiss the night before had opened a flood of emotions within her, and she hadn't been able to sleep very long once they'd made their way back to Tyler's dorm room. She'd lain there tossing and turning most of the night, thoughts racing through her head. Usually running helped, but not even the steady pounding of her shoes on the ground cleared her thoughts today. Stopping when she finally had a stitch in her side, she bent over. Panting, she crossed her hands above her head and began slowing walking around."You okay?" Denise asked as she walked up beside the other woman."Fine," she panted, although her eyes betrayed her. "You?"Her friend decided to let the obvious lie go and smiled dreamily. "It was an amazing night once we got home. Have I mentioned how hot Liam is? How much I love him? How we decided to maybe try and have a baby?"The water that Meredith had just taken a sip of spit for
I am a hot mess. I completely went off on Tyler and Denise yesterday. I embarrassed myself beyond belief, and the truth is, I'm not sure whether it did any good or not. I still have so many emotions and thoughts running through my head. I just don't know how to get them all out, how to let go of these feelings that keep eating me up from the inside out. I had a breakthrough though. I realized I need it. I need human touch. I want Tyler to hug me, his finger to brush my cheek, I want him to hold me while I sleep.Meredith put down her journal and bit her thumbnail thoughtfully. Last night had been the first night of real sleep she'd gotten since this whole ordeal had started. Why, she wasn't sure, but thought maybe she'd reached a turning point, and perhaps the emotions of the last few days had finally gotten to her. For the first time when she'd woken up this morning, she believed that she would come through this on the other side. Not unscathed, but possibly able to enjoy her life.
Meredith couldn't help the smile that spread across her face as she and Tyler made their way north up I-65. Being with him on a bike was quickly becoming her very favorite place to be. As he wove in and out of traffic, she enjoyed the scenery. A few years before, a major ice storm had destroyed most of the brush and trees along the interstate, but they were beginning to make a comeback. Given the time of year and the fact they'd had plenty of rain, the colors were beautiful. Gripping his waist, she took the moment to lean her head against his back and just breathe.It felt like this every time.She could breathe with him around. She could let down her guard and not worry that someone would hurt her. It was nice, relaxing, and freeing. His presence seemed to be the only relief she could get from the jittery, nervous feelings that constantly resided in her stomach.Watching the miles tick away, she glanced at the next green sign that indicated how far they were away from certain de