This had been a bad idea, Meredith realized as soon as she made her way out to the packed main room of the clubhouse. It hadn't been hard to get up the hallway that led to the dorm rooms where most of the other members slept. Some of them had homes. Those who didn't made their homes here. It was important that their private space be respected, so not a lot of people congregated in that tight spot. The main room, however, was a completely different story. Everything had been pushed to the side – except for couches, where she could see a lot more people congregating than she was comfortable with.The party was in full swing, and there were a ton of bodies packed into a very small space. She couldn't even bring herself to wear a costume, but a part of her had wanted to be amongst the action. She wanted to see what she was missing out on. Her eyes scanned the sea of bodies and locked with William's, who smiled warmly at her and saluted her with his beer. She smiled back, thankful that he
Meredith breathed heavily as she did her second lap around the Heaven Hill compound. The kiss the night before had opened a flood of emotions within her, and she hadn't been able to sleep very long once they'd made their way back to Tyler's dorm room. She'd lain there tossing and turning most of the night, thoughts racing through her head. Usually running helped, but not even the steady pounding of her shoes on the ground cleared her thoughts today. Stopping when she finally had a stitch in her side, she bent over. Panting, she crossed her hands above her head and began slowing walking around."You okay?" Denise asked as she walked up beside the other woman."Fine," she panted, although her eyes betrayed her. "You?"Her friend decided to let the obvious lie go and smiled dreamily. "It was an amazing night once we got home. Have I mentioned how hot Liam is? How much I love him? How we decided to maybe try and have a baby?"The water that Meredith had just taken a sip of spit for
I am a hot mess. I completely went off on Tyler and Denise yesterday. I embarrassed myself beyond belief, and the truth is, I'm not sure whether it did any good or not. I still have so many emotions and thoughts running through my head. I just don't know how to get them all out, how to let go of these feelings that keep eating me up from the inside out. I had a breakthrough though. I realized I need it. I need human touch. I want Tyler to hug me, his finger to brush my cheek, I want him to hold me while I sleep.Meredith put down her journal and bit her thumbnail thoughtfully. Last night had been the first night of real sleep she'd gotten since this whole ordeal had started. Why, she wasn't sure, but thought maybe she'd reached a turning point, and perhaps the emotions of the last few days had finally gotten to her. For the first time when she'd woken up this morning, she believed that she would come through this on the other side. Not unscathed, but possibly able to enjoy her life.
Meredith couldn't help the smile that spread across her face as she and Tyler made their way north up I-65. Being with him on a bike was quickly becoming her very favorite place to be. As he wove in and out of traffic, she enjoyed the scenery. A few years before, a major ice storm had destroyed most of the brush and trees along the interstate, but they were beginning to make a comeback. Given the time of year and the fact they'd had plenty of rain, the colors were beautiful. Gripping his waist, she took the moment to lean her head against his back and just breathe.It felt like this every time.She could breathe with him around. She could let down her guard and not worry that someone would hurt her. It was nice, relaxing, and freeing. His presence seemed to be the only relief she could get from the jittery, nervous feelings that constantly resided in her stomach.Watching the miles tick away, she glanced at the next green sign that indicated how far they were away from certain de
An hour later, the two of them pulled up to an old farmhouse that she'd never seen before. It was charming, with a tin roof that looked like it'd been recently replaced, but the paint peeled off the sides of the weather beaten house. He turned the bike off and threw his long leg over the side."What's this place?" she asked."It's mine. It's my refuge when I need time to myself."That was news to her. She'd never heard anyone talk about Tyler having a home of his own, and he'd sure never said anything about it. Her reporter's mind had a ton of questions. Inquisitive for the first time since the attack."I can see the questions in your eyes, but can you respect that I really don't wanna talk about it right now."He'd respected everything about her situation, and she realized for the first time that she wasn't the same person she'd been before. The types of questions that sprung to her mind now weren't the ones she'd had before. These were much more humane, they were more about
She had to give it him, he lay on the bed with his arms behind his head, never once flinching as she walked towards him."Whatever you feel comfortable with," he reminded her.She'd taken the time in the shower to shave and do all the things she'd hadn't felt the need to do in the past weeks since her attack. She'd found some girly shampoo and body wash and had treated herself like she'd been at a spa. It had been on the tip of her tongue to ask if the girly stuff had been for her or if he'd had another woman at this place before, but she didn't want to ruin the mood.Her hands shook as she made her way over to where he lay. Her brain screamed at her to run the other way and never look back, but she knew that she had to do this. She knew that she couldn't let this defeat her anymore."You're beautiful," he whispered.The smile that came to her face was so genuine it made him want to cry. It seemed to give her the push she needed. Without hesitation that he had suspected, she
Tyler felt the warmth of the tears that Meredith continued to shed on his bare chest. She had immediately collapsed against him and had snuggled up so tightly to him, he didn't want to let her go. Even though she still cried, it had slowed considerably and her breathing had evened out, matching his."Thank you," she whispered, running the back of her hand across her nose."Hey," he caught her chin, tipping it so that he could look into her eyes. She felt his hand come up behind her head and tangle in her hair to keep her steady. "The pleasure was all mine. You are one hot piece of ass," he teased.She gave a very unladylike snort that caused a smile to spread across his face. "I can still feel how hard you are," she wiggled against him."Doesn't matter," he shook his head. "This has been the most pleasure I've ever had. You let me worry about how hard I am."That didn't sound fair to her, almost like he was taking something away that should be hers. "What if I wanted to help
I took back a major part of myself today. The part of myself that had been missing. I let Tyler touch me in ways that I've never let a human being touch me before. Both physical and emotional. It feels like a part of me has healed. That gaping hole that was once in my stomach – causing all those jitters – it's gone. I'm happy and ready. Ready to move on. Ready to find my rapist. I just need to figure out how to tell other people. What if they try to talk me out of it?"You warm enough?"His deep voice caused so many feelings in her now. He wasn't just the man who protected her now. He was her lover and it felt so right. The mere fact that she was writing in her journal – in his arms – and trusting him not to be nosey, said an awful lot about how far she had come."Sure am," she assured him lazily.It had started raining, and she told him how much she loved the rain in the country and how it sounded against the tin of his roof. He'd suggested they go out back where he had a cove