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Chapter 116
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The Heaven Hill Generations Series Chapter 117
MandySitting across from Dalton is worth everything I've done to get to this point. Seeing him again is my present for all this pain I've endured, for the work I've accomplished, even when I haven't been sure if what I'm doing is working."You look really good." I smile, holding his hand tightly across the table.What I wouldn't give to lay in his arms right now. "You do too, babe. God I've missed you."Those words make my soul feel lighter, they get rid of some of the doubt and punishment I've put on myself. "How's Walker? I wish he could have come with you.""He's good, doing much better since you wrote him that letter."Our conversation flounders, and I know it's not because there isn't a lot to say. It's because we're nervous. Which makes sense; the last time we saw each other, wasn't good for either one of us. One of the things I've realized in my therapy is I need to be the one to start the conversation."I'm sorry." I tilt my head to the side, pulling my
The Heaven Hill Generations Series Chapter 118
DaltonAfter the amazing day I had yesterday, I didn't expect this one to be such shit. I overslept, was late to work, got Walker to school late, had to run back to the clubhouse to get something he left, and ran out of gas on my way to the school.Which is why I'm sitting here on the side of the road waiting for someone to pick me up. I'm in a foul as hell mood when a little sports car speeds by but then brakes and pulls a U-turn in the middle of the road, coming back to where I wait."Who the fuck is this?" Already I'm on the defensive, and I don't want to fuck with anyone today. Scratch that, they don't want to fuck with me. They come to a stop in front of my bike and get out. Tennis shoes cover the feet of the person getting out. Nothing I recognize, but then again unless they're popular sports shoes that my son asks for, I'm not noticing them. Those fucking pansy ass skinny jeans are tight against their legs, and as they get out, standing to their full height, I see
The Heaven Hill Generations Series Chapter 119
WalkerThere are so many things about home I miss. My bed.The smell of breakfast cooking in the morning when I get up.The scent of Dad as he comes in from working on his motorcycle and it's cold outside. The familiarity of everything.But most of all, I miss my mom.How we all used to be together as a family. I haven't felt togetherness like that in months. At first I thought it was hard not having my dad around, but now trying to sleep without my mom? It's even harder. Especially when she isn't here to do the stuff we enjoy together."You ready for bed?"I've told Dad over and over again he doesn't have to check on me like this. I'm not a little kid anymore, and honestly, I've been taking care of Mom while he hasn't been around. I don't need anyone to take care of me, but I know he looks forward to this. "Yeah, can you hand me the remote?"For as long as I can remember I've fallen asleep to the TV. It's always been my comfort. This one isn't as big as the on
The Heaven Hill Generations Series Chapter 120
MandyIt was a miracle I held it together until I got off the phone with Walker; hearing him tell me about how this has affected him killed me. So often when you're in a situation like I am, you have to focus on your own recovery, but there are so many people in the background who get hurt.My heart is pounding, tears are running down my face. I did this to him. Me, and no one else.Looking at the bedside clock, I notice I still have a few more minutes of phone time. I pick it up and dial Dalton's number."Babe." His voice is hoarse, damaged like mine is from holding back the emotions threatening to sweep through us. "The pain he's in…""He needs to get to Doc Jones' as soon as possible," I whisper into the phone. "We'll be doing him a big disservice if we don't get him in some type of treatment.""I'll make sure I get him there in the morning. I guess I just didn't realize how fucked up he is about all of this, although I should have. He should've been my first worry."I
The Heaven Hill Generations Series Chapter 121
DaltonSomehow I'm more nervous as I pull up to Magnolia Behavioral Health than I was last time. Before, it was just about seeing Mandy, making sure she was doing okay. This visit?It's about confronting demons. Mine and hers. Walking in is a blur, although I'm sure I do the same song and dance I did before. "Mr. Barnett, we'll be going right this way."I follow the woman in front of me, almost telling her Mr. Barnett is my father. I'm not used to so much formality. We walk down blank corridors. No pictures grace these walls. There's no fake-ass family portrait of smiling people who have no clue who the other person is. There aren't cookie-cutter couples pretending to be so in love it's sickening.These are bare; much like my emotions have been for the past few months. It's a way to survive, but it's also a way to kill yourself slowly.It happens little by little.Until you realize there's nothing left for anyone else. Not even anything for yourself.We
The Heaven Hill Generations Series Chapter 122
Mandy"Do you really think I'm ready?"Dr. Crawford looks at me, her gaze intense and strong, almost feeling like it sees through the clothes I'm wearing. "Doesn't matter what I think, Mandy. Do you think you're ready?"But it does matter what she thinks. She's the one who's given me the tools to try and live my life the way it's supposed to be lived. I'm no longer dwelling on the past and wondering about the what if's. Instead, I'm enjoying the right now's."I think so, but I've thought this before too. What if I get in a situation I can't handle?""Then you do all the exercises we've discussed. Your deep breathing, writing things out, thinking things through before you speak, and if that still doesn't help, then you call me. I'll be here whenever you need me, Mandy. I don't give up on my patients, and I don't expect you to know all of the answers when I set you loose. We work through this together - sometimes for a year, sometimes for the rest of your life. This isn't a one
The Heaven Hill Generations Series Chapter 123
DaltonWho knew I would be this nervous? Driving Mandy's SUV to Magnolia Behavioral Health, my hands sweat as they grip the wheel. It's warm today, warmer than it should be and the sun is shining brightly. Maybe I should have driven my bike.I'm happy.Happy that her coming home day is bright. Unlike the day she left. Such darkness overtook all of us, I had worried we wouldn't be able to come out the other side of it, but we have. It hasn't been easy and I don't think it ever will be. As I get older I'm beginning to learn life isn't meant to be easy. It's messy, full of things that don't make sense, but all of that stuff turns into beauty if you're willing to wait. If you're willing to let it marinate and become entrenched in itself. Just like we've let Mandy have the time to become the person she's always been. With a little help and some direction, I'm feeling more optimistic about our future together than I ever have.Pulling into the parking lot, I take a deep breath,
The Heaven Hill Generations Series Chapter 124
MandyI'm sick to my stomach with fear and excitement as we pull into the parking lot of the clubhouse. There aren't a lot of vehicles parked, so I'm pretty sure my coming home is low-key; exactly how I wanted it. "I think the only people here is your family and Caelin." He puts the SUV in park, shutting off the engine. "Good, I don't know what I would do with a whole group.""Well, I mean, your family classifies as a whole group," he laughs."True, but I'm comfortable with them.""Hey," he says the word softly. "If at any time you need to leave, whether it's your family or not, you just leave. You don't owe anyone anything."I pull my lip between my teeth and nod. "Why am I so nervous?"He grabs my hands, pulling them over the console. "I was nervous to come get you because I didn't know how you'd feel about coming home. I suspect you're nervous because you don't know how they feel about you coming home. It's all the same nervousness. We just gotta get through it."
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