FINLEY POV
Dad's sick.
The biggest strongest wolf I know is sick. He is never sick. He is like a mountain. He is always standing tall. Nothing shakes Dad. He is my hero. He has always been the male we can count on for everything. Every problem we have ever had has been solved by Dad. How can he be sick?
Lewis whines from beside me as he senses my mood, but I keep my muzzle pointed straight. Getting to the Northern pack will take us all night and I don't have the energy or patience to address anyone.
I just want to run. I can't take anymore. I feel as if my body is constantly anxious. It has been one blow after another... Adam killing his mother and abducting Samantha and Angelica, Lauren betraying us and killing David, Mariah losing her son, Grace and Andrew dying, Stanley coming back from death, and Darcy showing up married. Now Dad is sick, and I am losing my composure.
I have tried to remain positive. I have been the one to offer support to the others. I have tried to keep my emotional cracks hidden, but I can feel those cracks widening. I am at my breaking point. The humor I once saw in the small things has vanished. I used to take it easy because I was the baby of the Gray family. I didn't have to worry about being Alpha. My dad has two older sons for that spot. Now he only has Daniel as a shifter and Stan is human. Emma is talking about not mating so... I could end up being the Alpha of the Northern Gray pack.
My pace slows for a second as that possible future smacks me in the face. I don't want to be Alpha. I have never wanted that responsibility. Helping the Alpha and calming the emotions of others, sure. But being the Alpha...
"No Fin. Snap out of it. Dad will be fine," I yell inside my head to shut the thoughts up.
I pick up my pace and the rich soil crumbles as my claws dig into it. With each stride, I spray the ground behind me with overturned earth. All while the little evil voice inside of my head keeps saying, "If it doesn't happen now, it will soon."
*****
"Finally. I can not wait to charge my phone," Killian grumbles as we pull our clothes from our packs.
Lewis tenses expecting me to react, but I don't. My mind is too jumbled. I don't care how whiny or disrespectful Killian is. I need to go check on my mom and speak with my dad.
"Lewis, take Killian to the guest house we normally use, then meet me at the main house," I mumble as my fingers slip my pants' button through its hole.
I forgo putting on a shirt or grabbing anything else out of my pack. That can wait.
"Got it," Lewis replies as he looks over my expression with concern in his eyes.
Killian looks over at me too, but I ignore him. I give Lewis a nod to reassure him I am okay and sling my pack back on my back before walking off. I take the quickest route to my parent's main house and walk right in. The sad atmosphere instantly hits me, and I close the door softly before looking around.
No one is sitting on the couches and the normally busy room is silent. I take a deep breath and call out with my most cheerful "Finley" voice.
"This isn't the welcome I was expecting," I say trying to coax my mother out of wherever she is.
Within seconds, my beautiful mother comes hurrying into the room, looking exhausted but happy to see me.
"Oh, Fin. My baby. You are here. I am sorry I was making breakfast in the kitchen," she says as she comes toward me with her arms wide, and I force an easygoing smile onto my face.
Her arms wrap around me, and as I bend to accommodate her shorter frame, I detect a slight tremble in her embrace. I quickly realize she is putting on an act just like I am. My strong mother is just as broken as I am.
Forest Gray might be my father, but he is her mate. She is taking this harder than any of us.
"Where is the troublemaker," I ask after I give her a quick squeeze and she steps back.
She glances at the hallway leading to their bedroom and tears fill her gentle brown eyes.
"He is lying down. He got up for about an hour, but he said his head hurt again... He is exhausted, Fin. It's as if he aged thirty years," Mom whispers while keeping her gaze on the hallway leading to her bedroom.
I swallow down the sick feeling and keep my distress off my face. I came to help not act like a frightened child. My mother needs someone to help her with the pack so she can look after her mate. She doesn't need to worry about me. All my bullshit about Darcy and not wanting to be an Alpha needs to stay hidden away.
"You go finish the grub. I will go talk with him. Then I will get in the office and answer all the calls he is probably missing," I say, sounding more confident than I feel, and Mom gives me a megawatt smile.
She pats my arm and disappears in the direction she came looking ten years younger. It's as if I lifted a boulder from her shoulders. When I am sure she can't hear me I let out a long exhale.
.I don't know why I am scared, but I am. I keep picturing him sickly and strange, but I know that is impossible. I just saw him not that long ago. He was doing good. He was the same tall and strong man that I remember from my childhood.
I walk down the hallway and push open my parent's door. The bright room and familiar furniture instantly make my fear disappear. Unlike the Layne house, my parent's home is bright and painted in light colors. There isn't an area that light doesn't reach. It's always so refreshing to be in their space. Mom even left the window open so Dad could rest in the fresh air.
I walk across the room slowly and quietly wondering how to go about waking him. But just as I stretch my hand out toward his shoulder his nose twitches. His restful face shifts to one of confusion and I know he smells me. I drop my hand and wait.
"Hey old man," I say cheerfully as his eyelids lift and his blue eyes drill into me.
He smirks as his vision clears and his mind confirms it is me.
"Hey, Fin. Get here okay," Dad asks as he moves to position himself in an upright position.
I nod to answer him and try to keep my face as neutral as possible.
He looks the same as I remember, but there is definitely something off. His normal aura is somehow less than it normally is.
"Sorry to have to call you up, but your mom needs help. She has been beside herself with worry and unable to handle everything," Dad says and I nod again before grabbing the reading chair mom keeps next to the window.
I sit it next to their bed and sit down in it before looked directly at him.
"What's wrong, Dad? I can't recall you ever taking a sick day before," I ask smoothly trying to sound as if I'm not worried.
He chuckles a little and shrugs.
"Beats me. I was fine a week ago and then exhaustion just hit me. Every day, I wake up ready to go, then after breakfast, I get a headache and need to lie down. I can't seem to concentrate without my head pounding. The doctor can't explain it. I know he is worried I have some kind of cancer, but I just feel like there is something we are missing," Dad says and my eyebrows draw together.
"Who makes your food," I ask and Dad looks at me as if I have three heads.
"Your mother. Just like always," he answers and I nod while feeling silly.
Mom always cooks for us. She likes to do it. She uses it as her thinking time.
"Right. I was just thinking maybe someone was slipping you something," I say and he nods.
"I know... I have tried to piece together what's going on too. I have just decided I am sick," Dad says and I look at his tired face.
I am hearing what he is saying, but my mind just won't accept it. Something else has to be happening. Forest Gray can't be sick. He just can't.
"I will figure it out. In the mean time you need to rest and I need to caught up on your duties," I say and he smirks again.
I look away from his mocking face to hide my smile. I know how odd it looks. I know my personality doesn't match the job I have to do here. But that doesn't change the fact I need to do it. I also need to learn it for when he isn't around to do it anymore. Stan can't... When he passes it will be up to me.
My smile falters and the queasy feeling in my gut returns.
"My carefree, easy-peasy, go-with-the-flow child is going to handle paperwork and annoying phone calls... I am either dreaming, or you all really believe I am dying," Dad says, and my eyes snap to his.
His facial features appear light and airy, but there is a spark deep in his eyes that holds that serious tone that made me listen as a kid.
"Being an Alpha is never something you wanted, Finley. I know that. I wouldn't put that on you. Don't worry. This won't be your fate," Dad says comforting me from his bed.
Emotions choke me and my throat becomes scratchy. I want to tell him he is wrong. I want to say I can take care of his pack if he leaves this world. I want to tell him he can depend on me.
"Mom needs me... I," I say before he places his big warm hand on my shoulder.
"This is temporary. I will get over this, Fin. I am still in good shape for my age despite this illness. Emma will find her mate and she will accept her destiny here long before I go to my grave. You are meant for other things. You are Dan and Stan's heart. They need you there. They always have. I will get better, and then you can return to them," Dad says, and I am unable to look away from his determined gaze.
This is why he is my hero. Mom and I are best friends. We are two sides of the same coin, but Dad. He reads me. He sees the inner workings of my mind without trying. He knows me.
"I'm counting on you... Oh, and I can't promise your office will be organized when you get back to it," I mumble to add humor to the tense moment, and he pats my shoulder before laughing.
"Good. Now go get your mother out of that kitchen. She is going to cook up every scrap of food in there," he says before allowing his eyes to close and I stand up.
LEWIS POV"Finally. I can not wait to charge my phone," Killian grumbles as we pull our clothes from our packs and I freeze. Finley is radiating so much emotion and any slight comment could set him off. I glance over at him to find his usual cheerful face drawn into a deep frown. The skin between his eyebrows looks like mountains it is so scrunched. He must be focused on his dad. Killian's negative attitude doesn't seem to matter to him anymore. "Lewis, take Killian to the guest house we normally use, then meet me at the main house," Fin mumbles in a low unfamiliar voice as he finishes buttoning his jeans. "Got it," I reply trying to sound light and agreeable. He needs me to comply right now and I have no problem doing just that. Killian is shooting daggers at him for some reason, but I won't add anything to his plate. If he wants me to drop the brat off at a separate location I will. Fin gives me a single nod before walking off in the direction of the Gray home and I turn my at
FINLEY POV"I hate to break this up, but Forest's condition needs to be addressed before you can properly get to know one another," Mom says, as Killian stares at Darcy's look alike like a deer in headlights. Marcie leads Bella away, and I am slow to follow behind them. My instincts are telling me this is a good thing. Killian has found his mate and Darcy should be free. My wolf feels content and happy, but my heart feels as if there is a wall. After that barn conversation with Darcy, my feelings toward her seem cold. She chose him over me. Nothing else really matters at this point. No matter what Killian decides, my mate already chose and she didn't choose me. "Stay out here, boys," Mom says quietly as we approach her bedroom and my head clears a little. I stop right outside their door as concern for my Dad returns full force. The issues with my mate and her husband can wait. They don't concern me anyway. Lewis comes to a halt beside me, looking anxious, and Killian stays back a
DARCY POV "Fin sounded so worried about his mom and his dad. The Doctor has all but confirmed Forest has cancer. Now we are just waiting to know the specifics from the blood tests," Sam whispers to the other females and I feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. My senses are on high alert. It's been almost 24 hours since Lewis sent a message saying they had arrived in the Northern Gray pack, but Killian has yet to call or message me. I have left him a dozen voice-mails and texted countless times. Lewis and Finley have been checking in and calling the others with updates, but Killian isn't responding to me. "I am sure it is hard accepting that Forest is sick... Are we sure we can help with the treatments? I mean, yes, a few doctors know about us, but a specialist. That is someone who will be hard to find. What if they are out of the country," Mariah asks in a gentler tone than usual. Trevor touches her cheek, and her attention turns from Samantha to him. I look her ove
FINLEY POV The gentle neighs from the horses around me filter through my sensitive ears as my brain continues to drift through thought. Food, water and reproduction, those are the only things wild animals care about. The horses we tend to and the cattle we raise have no drama in their lives. They live every day as if it were their last. They learn from their pasts, but they do not dwell on their futures. They do not plan. Their lives are lived day by day. If only I could shut that part of my brain off too. If only I couldn't dream or wish about the things I want for tomorrow. If only I were a wolf all the time. "Fin? You in here man," Lewis calls and my head snaps in the direction of the tack room door.I don't know how long I have been standing in front of the manure shovels and wheelbarrels, but it must have been a while for Lewis to come looking for me."Yeah, just putting up," I say in an easy going tone to bypass any suspension about why it's taking me so long to come inside
FINLEY POV For three solid days, I have listened to Killian mope about running the cameras or brag about his council missions with Darcy. It is at the point where each time he opens his mouth, I want to tear my ears off. I can no longer eat or sleep. I am just seething. His ego is the size of Alaska and I just want him to shut up so we can complete our job. Today alone has been particularly bad. "Hey Fin, you good," Lewis asks as we walk into the cave we are calling home for the night. I nod without meeting his concerned gaze and he sighs. "I haven't heard a wisecrack in over 48 hours," Lewis says, digging deeper, and I grind my teeth. Usually, I disguise a bad mood, concern, or give advice through light-hearted jokes, but I feel too sick to my stomach to laugh about anything right now. Even a fake laugh would make my mouth fill with bile right now. Killian just finished describing how much he is looking forward to returning to his wife for some much-needed sexual time, a
DARCY POV"We are all fine... It's dad. He's sick. Pack doctor can't figure it out. He can't fulfill his duties right now. Daniel is needed here. I am basically human. Emma is enjoying her first semester at a college across the country. It has to be you, Fin. You need to go home and help mom," Stanley says as Tabitha rubs his back.He is keeping his tone even for his younger brother, but we can all see his face. He looks practically ill as he relays the news about Alpha Forest to Finley.Marcie called four or five hours ago and Stanley has done nothing but plan. He immediately started emailing the Northern Gray pack's doctor and corresponding with Emma, who sounds like a brat."Yeah....""Yes, he is okay.""No, Dan said for all three of you to go. It gets dicey in those woods so you need the backup, Fin. Once you get there Lewis and Killian can return. Grab your packs and head that way tonight. Mom needs you now," Stanley says as he brings his hand to his forehead.My heart twists a l