Four: The weight of an alpha

Lucien’s POV

The heavy oak door of my study clicked shut behind me, sealing me in blessed silence. I exhaled, leaning back against it for a moment, allowing the weight of the day to rest on my shoulders. The decision to take Cara Wylder as my mate had been a strange one that surprised even me. I'd spent the entire journey trying to figure out why I'd done that. I still didn't exactly have the answers, nor could I particularly defend my decision before any of my people, but it had been done and I was damned if I was going to go back and forth on it.  

Straightening, I crossed to my desk, the intricate patterns carved into its surface barely visible beneath the stacks of correspondence, reports, and council summons. I ignored the bulk of it, reaching instead for the sealed letter sitting on its own. Breaking the wax seal with a sharp flick of my wrist, I skimmed the contents.

It was another reprimand from my beloved council. Their disappointment in my failure to forge a political union with the Darthrow pack through marriage was thinly veiled behind flowery language and formalities. Now that I had ruined all chances of that with my newly acquired mate bond, I wasn't at all eager to see how they would react. 

I crumpled the parchment in my fist and tossed it into the fire beside the desk watching the flames devour the letter, reducing its words to ash and smoke.

“Lucien!”

Sean’s voice broke the quiet, and I looked up to see my Beta standing in the doorway, his expression hesitant. It was a testament to my great distraction that I hadn't even heard him knock.

“If this is about her,” I said sharply, cutting him off before he could begin, “don’t bother.”

Sean stepped inside, closing the door behind him. He folded his arms across his chest, his brow furrowed with a mixture of concern and frustration.

“You should have at least run this by me first ” he said and I rolled my eyes. 

“Why? It wasn’t your decision to make,” I replied, turning back to the papers on my desk.

“While that might be true,” Sean countered, “this decision of yours affects the pack, Lucien. The council’s already breathing down our necks about you mating with the Darthrow girl. At least she brought the promise of new men and lands. This… Cara girl doesn't even have a WOLF.” 

A mystery about her that intrigued me if we were being honest. Cara Wylder had no reason to be wolfless. Her bloodline was supposed to have made certain of that. So why on earth was the golden Luna herself, a stale who couldn't turn? Had her father done anything to find out why?

When I didn't answer immediately, Sean hesitated then sighed and settled down on the chair opposite me. 

“At least tell me you have a plan on how to go from here. Are you going to make her Luna? Will you take another mate? Are you hoping that there's something you can do to bring out the golden Luna in Miss Wylder?”

For the goddess sake, I didn't have the answers to any of that and I resented the pressure he was putting on me to manufacture one. 

“If she's my mate, obviously she's going to be Luna. I'm not entirely sure about the specifics of that, but we can figure it out.” I said and Sean groaned. “The Council’s gonna kill us and replace you with Luke.” He whined and I rolled my eyes “Luke isn't an Alpha. And neither are they. I know this isn't ideal, but their choices are either to accept my decision, or challenge my position as Alpha.”

As weak as the rumors painted me to be, none of the cowards who grumbled about my ‘apathy’ towards pack affairs would dare challenge me. Not the council elders and certainly not my younger brother. 

“Alright well can we try to get something from her folks aside from a wolfless girl? Some land perhaps? A dowry?”

I thought back to Alpha Wylder’s cold demeanor as he regarded his daughter and shook my head. “Forget about it.”

“But—” He started and I cut him off with a hard glare. Sean was a pretty good Beta. He was loyal, brave and smart, and had used all these skills to help me maintain my power after my mate died. However sometimes, he just didn’t know when to shut up. 

“Cara Wylder is my mate now,” I interrupted my voice like steel. “The decision is made.”

Sean was silent for a moment, his gaze heavy on me. Finally, he said, “The council won’t be pleased.”

“When have they ever been?” I shot back, tossing my quill onto the desk. “Let them stew. I don’t need their approval to lead.”

Sean sighed again but nodded, clearly recognizing the futility of arguing.

“Fine,” he relented then hesitated, something else clearly on his mind to talk about. 

“What is it Sean?” I asked trying to keep my irritation out of my voice, but it was hard. 

“Er… well, you said I should let you know the update as soon as possible so… it’s about the knife.” The shift in topic was abrupt, and I stilled. My chest tightened, the familiar pang of grief and rage coiling in my gut.

“Any progress?” I asked, my voice low and anxious.

Sean shook his head. “Another dead end. The jeweler couldn’t identify the maker. He said the craftsmanship was unique, but without more to go on...”

I leaned back in my chair, pressing my palms into my eyes. The knife. The one thing left behind when they’d taken her from me. My first mate, my love, my everything. The blade had been buried to the hilt in her chest, her blood still warm when I found her.

For years, I’d hunted for answers, following every lead, chasing every shadow. And for years, I’d come up empty-handed. This final lead, a jeweler in a far away pack who was rumored to recognize the make of any steel with magic. He too, seemed to have failed. I bit back a sigh and shook my head, promising myself that I could fall apart when I was alone. I still had a pack to run and despite how little attended to it these days, I couldn’t ignore them forever. 

“What about our border problems with the poachers?” I asked, changing the subject before the weight of memory could suffocate me.

“We caught two on the southern border this week,” Sean reported. “They’re from the Shadowpine pack. We’re seeing an increase in their activity lately, and it’s putting pressure on our hunting grounds. Game is running scarce.”

“Any skirmishes?”

“Just a few for now, nothing we couldn’t handle, but they’re escalating,” Sean said grimly. “The other packs are getting bolder and bolder and we’ve lost too many men to stand any real chance in a full-blown war. The council is anxious to address it.”

“Of course, they are,” I muttered, pinching the bridge of my nose.

“Shall I call a meeting? They requested for one on your immediate return.” He added carefully and my jaw tightened. “Call the meeting,” I said reluctantly. “But make it clear I won’t tolerate insubordination.”

Sean hesitated before asking, “Do you really think she has what it takes to be Luna?”

I didn’t answer immediately, my mind wandering back to the girl. There was something about her, something I couldn’t quite place. True, she didn’t have a wolf. But there was an undercurrent of power beneath her timid exterior. It was faint, almost imperceptible, but it was there. 

“I don’t know.” I said finally and Sean nodded, though his expression betrayed his unease. “Understood.”

When he left, the silence of the room closed in around me once more. I sat back in my chair, staring at the knife lying on my desk in front of me. It was a cruel reminder of the vengeance I still sought, the justice I’d been denied. The peace I could never find until my dept was repaid. 

My thoughts drifted to Cara again, to the way she’d looked at me with a mixture of fear and defiance when I’d announced her as my mate. There was something in her gaze that unsettled me, something that didn’t quite fit the narrative of a girl beaten down by life.

The golden luna.

I knew the fables well enough. A she-wolf blessed by the moon goddess herself who possessed a hidden power in her blood that could turn the weakest of males into the strongest of Alphas. She was a coveted bride and I never would have thought I would be the one to have her after my fall from power. She was practically useless without a wolf but if I could solve that problem, would that mean the gift of the golden luna would be mine? Was it even a problem that I could solve? Surely her father would have tried, all these years. His reputation would have taken a huge blow now that everyone knew he had produced a wolfless wolf. If there was a way to fix her, he would have figured it out by now. 

I shook my head, pushing the thought aside. There was no time for fantasy. My pack was on the brink of war, my council was restless, and my past was still a shadow at my back.

And yet, as I sat there in the quiet of my study, I couldn’t shake the feeling that Cara Wylder was more than she seemed.

Perhaps, when the dust settled, I’d find the time to unravel her secrets. But for now, there was work to be done.

I picked up the next report from my desk and forced myself to focus, burying my thoughts beneath the weight of duty.