My heart sank. The street was still warm from Aunt Rebecca’s tires whisking Nana away, and my mother was already defying her orders. I’d thought, perhaps foolishly, that I would finally be able to keep my baby—that I would be able to take care of her and make her truly understand that I was her mother rather than the babysitter who came by.
My voice was small when I spoke. “But…Nana said she could stay.”
It was the wrong move. Mom whirled around, getting me right in the jaw. The blow sent me staggering until I grabbed hold of the table for support. The woman had had her fill of being told what to do in her own house and wasn’t about to have the likes of me further add to her mounting fr
Blinded by my preoccupations, I didn’t see Jonie until after she slammed me into a nearby locker. It took my eyes an extra second to focus and my brain another minute, but I could see by her creased brows that she was upset.“What the hell’s wrong with you?” The girl had never been one for small talk and didn’t think that day would be a good time to change that.My own brows creased as I took in her frustration. “What…are you talking about?” I’d been at school for barely 10 minutes. In that time, it was unlikely I’d manage to do anything of consequence to the often-elusive girl.“Why did you break up with Jayden? Have you lost your ever-loving mind?”I eased her away from me, not in the mood to deal with something so comparatively trivial when I’d likely arrived at the end of my life and had only hours to live. While I cared for Jayden and was still hurt by the events of the previous night, they paled in comparison to the mortal danger that stared me in t
The bell rang and the others filed in. My only hope was that the responsible student body president would choose to skip the class, but he appeared at the door with a few friends shortly after the teacher did. When he arrived at our workstation, Jayden brought with him a suffocating silence. I couldn’t remember a time I’d ever felt so uncomfortable, not even when we first met.Some part of me understood it was the new normal I would have to acclimate to. However, like everything else, it wouldn’t matter soon.I snuck glances at him through the class, actively fighting the urge to say something. He’d already started on the road to getting over me—no matter how small the progress. Reintroducing myself into his space would only force him to start over. I would have to be strong for both of us.He never looked back. For the entirety of the lesson, Jayden’s eyes remained firmly fixed on the chemistry teacher. He broke his gaze only
At the end of the day, Jayden sat out on the steps with me to wait for my mother. I’d poured my heart out to him during the lunch period, and he was as anxious as I was for what might be waiting for me upon her arrival. He wanted to follow me home and stay for as long as he was allowed but I knew my mother would never go for it.While not shy, she typically preferred to go without an audience when the devil took over.Jayden’s phone rang.I watched his brows furrow as he tried to read the ID but nothing came up. It was an unknown number. Confused, he answered it. “Hello? Uh…yeah, she’s right here…” I shot him a curious look but there was no need for questions. In another second, he handed his phone to me. “It’s your mom.”I hesitated a moment before placing the phone to my ear. “Hello?”“Hello, darling.” The sing-song cadence of her voice coming through the phone
Agitated, I took off at a sprint once more. It was too difficult to stand and wait for someone else to make them safe. There were three people in the building who had my heart, and the thought was enough to propel me toward that peril. However, before I could get far, I was tackled to the ground by a burly fireman who’d put his weight into taking me to the ground.I coughed, both from the smoke and the wind that had been knocked out of me.“You can’t go in there!” he said. “It’s too dangerous; you could die in there. Let the fire department handle it.”I…could die…A few of the men ran by me, rushing toward the burning building without a moment’s hesitation. They beat the front door down then disappeared into the thick, grey clouds of doom. While those on the outside worked at putting down the flames, those on the inside began their desperate search for the people they’d heard screaming m
“Is he going to be alright?” I asked.“His condition’s stable but he’ll need to go to the hospital for the smoke inhalation,” one of the medics explained. “I wouldn’t worry too much; the guy seems like a fighter.”I knew his latter words were meant to assuage my fears but they scarcely registered. My focus was on Jayden as they loaded him into the back of the ambulance. He was in pain despite his best efforts to hide it and there was nothing I could do to make him better. He’d run into that burning building so I wouldn’t have to and for that, he’d earned himself a trip to the hospital.There seemed no end to the hurt I continued to cause the boy and a voice inside my head taunted me for it. Had I stuck to my guns and stayed away from him, it would’ve been my burden to bear alone, and his lungs would be soot-free.“What about the other two?” I asked in the hopes the m
Uncomfortable and uncertain, the nurse returned to her desk. Seeing her whisper about me with her colleagues brought the laughter to the next level. My insides hurt from how hard I laughed, and I could feel a pressure building inside my head, but even then…I couldn’t stop laughing.Those around me grew unsettled by the persistent nature of my unprovoked laughter. One by one, they rose from the chairs closest to me and made their way to stand at the wall at the opposite end of the waiting room or by the nurse’s desk.Their evasion tickled my insides until they screamed. Those people had nothing to fear; I wasn’t the murderer.By the time I was allowed to see Jayden, the laughter had died. It was replaced by a subdued silence that stood in stark contrast to the boisterous half-cackle half-wail I’d carried on with earlier.I didn’t have the energy for it…didn’t have the energy for anything. I’d been dra
I considered writing him a note asking that he take care of them, but much like everything else, it didn’t matter. What would I care if he ripped through my room like the Tasmanian Devil after I was gone?The air inside my mother’s room was still. It was the first I’d been in there—the first I’d been in any of her rooms since my father left. Matt was welcome to cuddle and watch movies from time to time, but never me. There was an air of reverence that came with the subtle warning I shouldn’t have been there. I was walking on holy ground as a tainted sinner. Such a transgression would normally fill me with fear but that particular feeling couldn’t have been further away.I took the time to sweep my eyes across my mother’s room. How foreign it seemed, as if I’d been transported to another world. Nothing was out of place and the bed had been well-made. The blinds were half open, allowing light into the room while blott
“Hey, Kai.” Madelyn stopped me on my way down the hall. “Wait up.”Reluctantly, I brought my feet to a halt then offered her a forced smile. “Hey.”She began rummaging through her bag as she drew closer before pulling out a pastel pink toddler shirt with a crown printed on the front. Madelyn extended it to me with a sheepish smile. “I saw this when my mom took me shopping and I thought…you know…it’d look really cute on your daughter. It’s probably a little big; we didn’t know her size, but she’ll grow into it, right?”I didn’t think I had any heart left until I felt another piece of it break off. She wasn’t wrong, Emily would have looked amazing in it, but she would never have a chance to grow into it, nor would she ever wear it.The strained smile I’d been forcing dissolved. A lump lodged itself into the back of my throat requiring me to take several m