Back in the locker room, I found my reprieve. The others had run themselves tired and were noticeably more subdued than when we’d first walked across the field. No one cared about past schools and old rumours; they were covered in sweat and achy from the run they’d been made to endure. With another class before lunch, they sought to conserve their energy to make it out the other end.
One by one they filed out, heading to their next class until only Madelyn and I remained. A wall of awkward silence wedged itself between us, creating a barrier that kept us at great distance. With the dust settled and all cards laid on the table, it was evident things had gone beyond the point of recovery. The girl had revealed what she thought about me and my misfortune. She’d made her stance very clear.
“So,” I said, breaking the silence when it grew to be unbearable. “I thought I asked you not to tell anyone.” I kept my words simple and was del
I was already in danger of being late for history and would do better to mind my own business. It was every bit as likely the boys were innocently waiting around to escort her to class, and I was only seeing monsters everywhere.Madelyn wasn’t a victim. That sort of bad luck was reserved for people like me. Her castle would never crumble, and no real danger lurked in the shadows cast by her brilliant light.I needed to calm down and avoid overthinking to avoid creating an unnecessary predicament for myself. Jayden wouldn’t appear if I found myself in trouble again and Jonie had asked me to keep my head low while she sorted out the mess of the prior day. Try as I did, I couldn’t get Madelyn out of my mind through my afternoon of classes. I’d already gone through the process of tearing down my apprehensions with sound logic and understood the unlikelihood of her ever having been in danger but, stubbornly, my mind clung to the idea th
In that moment, what she’d done didn’t matter. The things she’d spread, the people she’d turned against me, it was easy to forget in the face of the girl who sobbed so heartbreakingly.“Kai.” Her voice broke with my name. “I—I feel so…dirty.”“I know,” I said, whispering to maintain the delicate atmosphere that surrounded us.It was a feeling I was well acquainted with; one that never strayed too far lest it be unable to barge back in when I least required it. The knowledge of such unpleasantness made it easier to comfort Madelyn despite my own feelings of hurt and betrayal. In my own time, I wished I’d had someone willing to sit with me and wait until I felt better.Madelyn had only just received her initiation. The girl had a reputation that proceeded her. It wasn’t nearly so prolific that she could give the student body reps a run for their money, but it was solid. She
As expected, my proclamation brought on a wave of whispers and mutters. I could see their eyes grow hungry, intent on learning more in light of the revelation I’d brought forth. It was difficult to imagine one person blowing up as much as I had in the span of two days—it was almost inconceivable.That only made it all the more outrageous and, thus, sensational.The girl who’d come out the gate swinging with plans to change the school landscape and snag the president was proving more problematic than her upbeat persona ever alluded to and there were few things an audience loved more than to watch the deterioration of a once untainted saint. The demolition of innocence and the slaughter of the meek; it was their bread and butter.In the absence of any real role in the disaster that had happened, I found it easier to keep my head high. I didn’t flinch away from their scrutiny, meeting their prying eyes head-on. I’d taken on the charact
“I’m sorry, Kai—really, I am. I should never have said what I said to you,” she said, shaking her head in meek submission. “You were right. I didn’t know how difficult or devastating it was and even though I didn’t deserve it…you still tried to help me. Can you forgive me?”I smiled, hoping to lift her from the abyss she’d already begun to spiral down. “I wouldn’t have helped you if I didn’t. I won’t call what you’ve done a mistake, but I get the feeling you’ve already been punished enough. I don’t need to add to that.”The faintest of sardonic smiles graced her lips for the fraction of a second before she thanked me then excused herself. Much like Carmen months before, Madelyn had been defeated by the work of her own hands and would have to take the time to work through the chaos of emotions that came with that.I watched her go, her head no longer held
“They should’ve asked me to help with this year’s Day of Drama,” one of the girls said. “I’d have been a better actress than Madelyn—definitely better than Kai. I was made for the stage.”“I always knew something felt off about the whole thing,” her friend replied.“Shut up; no, you didn’t.”“I’m telling you! I don’t know who she was trying to fool with that ‘rape’ act. She didn’t even know what to say when people asked her about it. The least she could’ve done was make something up, cry a few tears. I don’t know—but I knew it was fishy from the start.”I smiled to myself, amused by their astounding level of ignorance. The word ‘rape’ wasn’t enough to spring open the flood gates, nor was I likely to fall apart the moment someone began spreading my name. Over the years, my skin had thickened, a
Briefly, I considered asking to spend the night at Lilia’s under the guise she’d mentioned needing me, but it was a school night and where Mom wouldn’t have cared, Nana certainly would. Her granddaughter would never be used as free labour for the benefit of an irresponsible woman at the detriment to her sleep and school performance. She would remind me I had homework or otherwise studying to keep up with. There would be enough time to take care of my own children when I had them. The woman would need to sort out appropriate childcare like the adult she was.We pulled onto our street and Mom slowed the car. Once again, her gaze found mine through the rearview mirror and it was every bit as malicious as it had been when she promised to send me to join my father on the other side.“Listen, you little shit. I better not hear a word about Emily before they leave. Tara never fucked around and got herself knocked up so neither did you. God knows neithe
“Your sisters are in the kitchen; make sure to say hello before you lock yourself and away to pout until we leave!” Nana called after her.In a move so childish she may as well have been her son, mom stuck her head back down the stairs and yelled a brusque “Hi!” before continuing on her way.“It’s nice to see you, too, Anna!” Aunt Rebecca called after her. Both my aunts exchanged knowing glances. They’d grown up with her and had learned to ignore her erratic moods a long time ago. Sometimes, I marvelled at their interactions. The woman who brought me little more than fear and dread was someone’s little sister. They’d watched her grown, had fought with her…had loved her. Mom didn’t frighten them, nor did they feel the need to tip-toe their way around her.By dinner, Mom had gotten into higher spirits, courtesy of the secret stash of liquor she kept hidden up in her room for occasions such as
The lines of make believe and reality blended seamlessly. My mother and I shared jokes and laughter between us like old friends. It was a world I’d always wanted to be let into; one I’d dreamed so long of but had accepted I would never see. I’d fallen into a beautiful dream; it was the kind I would give anything to never wake from.When I first heard they’d be coming, I dreaded the very thought, but sitting there on the couch nestled into my mother’s side while she threw an affectionate arm around my shoulder, I found myself wishing they would never leave.The doorbell rang.“I’ll get it,” I said, springing from the couch in a better mood than I’d been in for perhaps years. I hopped over my brother who’d been sprawled on the carpet and all but skipped to the door.My blood ran cold at the sight of Lilia and Emi when I opened it. My mouth went dry. “What’s…is everything alright?