I could’ve broken his hand. My grip was so hard. I felt sick with every step I took toward the hospital and Mom’s room. It sounded so great and exciting when I first heard about Teddy Starks, most of all the fact that Sam was not related to me at all. But now that reality was setting in, I wasn’t sure how to feel.What if he doesn’t like me? What if I’m not what he expected? What bearing is he going to have on my life and mom’s? There were so many questions going through my head, but surprisingly the one that wasn’t there was, where had he been while Mom and I were suffering all these years?After the story Gabriel had told, I would be an absolute monster if I felt even an inkling of that. In fact, it only made me hate Sam more because of all that he’d taken from us. From what Gabriel had said, my dad had wanted me; though he was young, he’d been ready to do what was necessary to stay in my life as well as my mom’s.Knowing that I’d been robbed of a better childhood has stuck in my cra
She was struggling, and it was doing a number on me. I knew this was going to be hard on her, but I’d underestimated what seeing her go through this would do to me.I wanted to snatch her up and take her out of there, but I knew she had to go through this now or later. It should’ve been simple, really, and a good thing, I thought, but I didn’t think of the implications for both of them.I guess I didn’t realize that the reminder of all that they’d been through, all that would’ve been avoided had Starks not been taken from both of them, would make both women react like this. I’d had it hard as a kid after mom, and I moved, but nowhere near what she went through.Now I realize as I listened to her and her mom talk that they’d both been robbed of what might have been a good life with a man who would’ve loved both of them. Of course, I didn’t let on that I knew where Sam was, but the whole time I was itching to get back so I could plant my hand in his face.When the shadow crossed the door
Since it was Lyon’s last night here, we kind of took it easy and just sat back and relaxed. There was no mention of work for the first time since I met Lyon and his squad, and I got to see another side of them that I didn’t think existed. They actually knew how to relax, though Lyon seemed a bit testier than usual I imagine it was because his precious daughter got herself involved in something without him.All he’d said about the L.A. thing, to me at least, was that some kid had got himself in some shit, and he was gonna go take care of it because the girls were fans. Then he went on a rant about Hollywood being a cesspool of fucknuts. As with most things that come out of his mouth, it was convoluted as hell, but with this guy, you take what you can get. All the same, I realized that I was going to miss the hell out of the guy.Silla was spending time with her parents, getting to know Starks, who was in no hurry to leave, and I half wondered what he was going to do at the end of the ni
I stood in shocked silence for a few seconds as the sound of my hand connecting with her teeth seemed to reverberate in my ears. I hadn’t meant to do that, but now it was too late to take it back. I was too afraid to look at Gabriel, to see the look of disappointment I was sure would be on his face. Now I felt like crying.I’ve never just hauled off and hit anyone before, not since my wild childhood days when the bullies got under my skin. But it was just too much. I’d reached my limit with this girl and life in general. She just happened to be easier to face off with.I’d just left my mother, who’d been bawling her eyes out for the last two hours, broken, hurt, and alone and me, her daughter, could do nothing to ease the pain. The man she thought had ran off and left her to suffer had been left for dead by the man she would eventually marry.Through no fault of her own, of course, but still, those were the facts. Now she has to come to grips with everything that had happened in the la
I knew it was coming. I’m not sure about all that just went down here, but I could see it in her eyes that she was at breaking point and was barely holding on by a thread. I’ll deal with the Nikki situation later, but right now, there were more pressing matters on her mind that needed to be taken care of.It's amazing how well I’ve come to know her in such a short amount of time. But I can read her almost as well as I know myself. It’s almost as if I can feel her without even having to see with my eyes.Right now, she’s in pain, and though I can surmise it has something to do with Starks showing up in her life, I won’t know until she tells me. Dealing with her is like handling a newborn babe. So soft and precious, something to be handled only with care, and for a man like me who has no real experience with such things, I was having to feel my way around.Patience, Gabriel; you need lots of patience here. I’ve been running full speed ahead from the moment I realized and accepted that sh
Hit me, will you? We’ll just see about that. I had to breathe in and out a few times to calm the anger that was still riding hot in my chest. No one has ever laid a hand on me in my life; no one ever dared because of who I am.I was always the one doling out punishments as I saw fit. From a very young age, I knew my worth and who I was, but now I’d been humiliated by someone I wouldn’t even hire as my maid. This is something I will never forgive, no matter how long I live.She has no idea what she’s done or how she’s going to suffer for it. I felt a pang of unease at the thought when I remembered how Gabriel had defended her. I can’t believe both Emma and Gabriel had stood by her side after what she did. After all our years together, Emma had actually threatened and embarrassed me in front of that low-class mutt.I didn’t want anyone to know about my plight, especially Gabriel. I didn’t want him to think once I seduced him that, I was only in it for the money. I never wanted him to kn
I was dead on my feet and drained from all the excitement of the day. My chest hurt from holding too much in, and I was confused and afraid. But his words gave me solace. It was so strange having a voice of comfort that it was taking some getting used to, but I was learning to accept that feeling of relief I got with him.Somehow in the pit of my stomach, I knew that I could trust Gabriel. I didn’t realize it until now, but a part of me had been holding back, not yet quite sure or willing to believe that the life he was offering me, a life that sounded too much like a fairytale, could truly be mine.I didn’t realize that a part of me had been secretly doubtful or that I had been holding my breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Life had never been very kind to me, so why should I expect things to change so drastically out of the blue?No wonder my chest hurt. It’s because I’ve been holding my breath all this time in some sort of fear that I’d wake up one day and this would all be
We stood there for a long time, it seemed, until I was sure she’d calmed down. I did a lot of reassuring as she seemed to need it no matter what she said, and when it came time to go to bed, I had a bit of a dilemma. I wanted her, no surprise there, I always want her, but I was very aware that her mother was now in a room down the hall, not to mention the fact that Starks was still in the house, yet another hiccup I wasn’t expecting. I gritted my teeth and prepared to bear it, but she, on the other hand, was needy, as was to be expected after the day she had, and so ensued a night of the most intense passion I’ve ever experienced in my life and that’s saying a lot because I’m no blushing violet.“Your parents are down the hall.” I thought I should remind her.“I’ll be quiet.” Her response made me widen my eyes, a bit surprised, but what was more surprising was the feel of her fingers as they reached for my zipper.There was a feverish look in her eyes that hadn’t been there before and
This is insane. I thought I had it under control, but I didn’t expect the night to be like this. It wasn’t because of all the people that were here in the arena, though it had to be at full capacity, which was around two hundred and fifty thousand people, give or take about ten. No, what was bothering the hell out of me was the fact that my girl was in the middle of this shit. I didn’t think it would bother me this much, especially since I knew that there was no danger here, that the whole tunnel thing was the only thing going on, and the other players had already been taken down, but I couldn’t shake it off. I had this feeling like the feeling you get when someone has you in their crosshairs, but you don’t know which direction they’re in. It could be a case of transferred anxiety because Lyon has been ranting and raving since he got here about some shit going down. It was hell trying to hide my thoughts and feelings from Silla, who was happier than I’d ever seen her. Part
Lieutenant Morgan was more excited about the tickets than even I expected. She was so distracted that that excitement led to her being the one who invited me to tour the tunnels. I didn’t have to use my well-rehearsed speech to talk her into anything. It was so easy I almost grew suspicious until I remembered that this was just like the woman I know. She had no reason to suspect me of anything, and with my clearance, she’d see no issue letting me on site. But as we walked and talked, I couldn’t shake the feeling that someone else seemed to know her as well. Namely Lyon’s daughter. But how was that possible? I’m pretty sure the kid never met her in the flesh. While she talked about how excited her kid was going to be I was looking around for anything that would give any indication that there was more going on here and saw nothing. Not that I didn’t believe Lyon, I did, but that’s how good the operation was. We hopped into a golf cart, and she drove deeper into the tunne
“Where did you go? Did you have fun?” I tried not to sound too much like I was grilling her, but Flanagan and Quinn had me a bit paranoid with the things they’d said about their women and the shit they got up to. Not that I expect Silla to do any of those things; my little innocent is too sheltered for that. But there are other issues at hand. Like the fact that I’d only just started to convince myself that with Sam out of the picture, she was no longer in any danger, plus the fact that the mess I’d just waded through was geared toward kids, so she wasn’t in any real danger here. But I don’t know why I get the feeling that the guys are holding something back. I think Lyon might have told them to ease me into it, which begs the question of just how much worse it can get. I still have no idea what it is that they want me to do in the tunnels or even if I’d actually get the chance. Just because I’m military doesn’t mean they’ll roll out the red carpet, especially if they’re using
I guess Flanagan was wrong after all because the places the women drove to just seemed to be the usual tourist traps. They did take a little detour on the way back, but it seemed to be a more scenic route, something anyone might do when visiting a new place. It can’t be overlooked the fact that the mountains here are some of the most beautiful in the country. “I guess they did only go for a joyride after all.” I made the distinction out loud when I saw Flanagan and Quinn mapping the route they’d taken. “It’s good that you think that.” “What do you mean?” “Not sure yet; I’ll let you know when we figure out what they’re up to. I have to get this information to Lyon.” He reached for his phone while I went back to what I was doing, feeling at ease for the first time in hours since she left. Every once in a while, one of my boys would make a sound of disgust from across the room, but since I’d already given them the option to bow out, which they all refused, I saw it a
“What’s wrong boss? Something bothering you?” Mace asked me quietly as I watched the door where the women had just left. “No, it’s not that.” I couldn’t give him an answer because I didn’t know what it was that was making me twitchy about the whole thing. I wasn’t sure if it was my natural sixth sense or my new overprotectiveness where she was concerned. It didn’t help that Lyon’s men didn’t look too settled either at the idea of their women going joyriding in the middle of an Op. Maybe that was it. This whole situation has left me feeling more bereft than my first firefight. I’d rather dodge bullets in the desert than deal with this evil shit that I’d been pouring over for the last few hours. How anyone could deal with this shit day in and day out and not lose part of themselves is beyond me. It's only been a few hours, and my skin is already starting to crawl. Now, I’ve always known that men can be evil monsters; I’ve seen some of the worst they can do to each other, or
Shit, blast and damn. How do I leave her behind without hurting her feelings? She’s so dang innocent; I was sure a rebuff, though not meant to be one, would hurt her feelings. Was I ever this innocent? No, but some of my new sisters used to be when we first met, so I know the signs. I was thinking hard about a plausible excuse when she clapped her hands across her mouth and looked at me like she’d committed a crime.“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean… I just got so relaxed with you two; it’s like we’ve known each other forever. I didn’t mean to overstep; I’ll just go back to the room and leave you two alone.” She rambled off the words before starting to walk away, and both Kelly and I had to stop her. Okay, this one might be more sheltered than the others, and it almost broke my heart. Over the last couple of years, I’d come to recognize the signs of past trauma in women, and she had a boatload. “No, you didn’t overstep. I was just worried about how your man would r
This is happening. Things have been moving really fast in the last few days and the honeymoon was over. True to his word, Lyon had sent in a crew, or squad as he calls them. Two couples, the men seeming just as anxious as I was, having their women close to this shit. I wasn’t sure how we were supposed to do this, keeping the women in the dark, I mean. But I needn’t have worried because Quinn and Shane knew exactly what they were doing when it came to that part of the Op. Silla, I was happy to see, was only too happy to make two new friends, and these women must’ve taken classes or something because they had her hooked in no time at all. I’d barely seen her interactions with Chantal back at the house, but it was good to see that she played well with others. There was no cattiness among these women and I couldn’t help but notice the difference between these two, Arianna and Kelly and Nikki. It’s been days since I even thought about her, but I guess I figured one headach
I looked these people up when I had a chance, and I have to say, Lyon and his kid do get around. I wouldn't have pegged him for the type, but then again, what do I know? Silla was all but jumping out of her skin with excitement ever since I mentioned their names, but I have to count that as a plus since it kept her even more in the dark about what was really going on. I brought my boys up to speed on things later that night once she'd knocked herself out after playing Rodeo Queen on my dick. At least the news knocked the disrespectful smirks off my team's faces, and they switched gears from sticking their noses in my shit and got down to the business we were there for. "I'm only telling you now because it's been finalized on their end. When Lyon called earlier, it was just an idea they were playing around with, but now, apparently, it's a done deal. Here's the thing…" I filled them in on what Lyon had shared in his latest phone call, i.e., the fact that this Ryder person's past con
Penance, it has got to be. I can't come up with any other reason for me to be dealing with this mess right now. I've always prided myself on being at the top of my game in any given situation, but this shit has thrown me for a loop. For what has got to be the first time in my adult life, I find myself in a situation that I'm not completely in control of. Right now, I should be focused on the job; nothing is more important than that, at least there didn't used to be. But now, even with the danger I was sure was here, given the Intel we'd collected so far, all I could think about was her. And not even in a sexual, I wanna jump her bones every time I see her kind of way, but more like how can I put her in my pocket and keep her safely away from all this shit type of thing. It's not something I expected, not to this degree anyway, and no one ever told me that these things could happen, and if they had, I'd have said not to me. But I am living it, so it's real, and that brings me back t