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58: Disappointment

I use the spare key Devon gave me to get inside.

I can't believe that happened. I feel like I just stepped out of some kind of nightmare. I had sex with Damien Keller, right over his desk. God, this has taken a turn for the worse. Before it happened, I thought I had lost control. It's nothing compared to how I feel now.

What was I thinking? I'm convinced that if I hadn't had that wine earlier, none of this would have happened. I clearly wasn't sober, but I wasn't that drunk. I knew exactly what I was doing, and I enjoyed every miserable second of it. I wanted it, fully aware of who he is, what he does. That he'd have me killed if he ever discovered my true motives for wanting to work for him.

I'm relieved that Devon isn't here to see me in this disgraceful state. I don't know how I would react if I came face-to-face with him right now. I run straight to my bedroom and put my bag down. I thread my fingers through my hair and take a deep breath. First things first, I have to clean up. M
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