171: Staying

I feel a lot better. I woke up without any pain at all, but maybe it's just the effect of the painkillers I'm on.

I've been trying to convince myself all morning that I had that conversation with Damien in my dreams. It was some terrible nightmare and most importantly, it never happened. He would never say such things to me. Why would he want to end us when this war barely started? But there's a dull ache in my chest that tells me otherwise, that the sooner I acknowledge that he practically broke up with me, the better.

I can't accept that. I can't sit by idly as he ruins us, ruins what we have. He's scared and I get that, but we can't give up now. There's no point in me leaving now. What's done is done. I already lost our baby. If we can't get through this, we can get through anything. What's the worst that could happen?

What could they possibly do to me that hasn't already been done?

All morning I tried to keep myself from falling asleep because I have to see him. I can't miss him t