The F.O.U.R.

Fiona's POV

This gig better pay well. 

I'm pretty sure my phone is getting shut off tomorrow. I have to pay the bill tonight. Oh crap, did I just miss a note? No, no I don't think so. Who would even notice anyways? All anyone actually pays attention to is Uma anyways. 

I looked up from my keyboard and saw Uma on her knees leaning back as she belted the chorus. I hated to say it but she's a freakin star.

The crowd was eating this up. Which of course meant an encore and someone will definitely throw an after party so I won't have time to do my homework and will fail yet another assignment. 

Why was I so worried about being able to pay for school next year when odds are I'll flunk out? I mean who gets on academic probation their first semester at a performing arts college?

Me, that's who.

And who sets up a gig on a Wednesday night?

Uma, that's who.

But what does she care? She's rich and acing all her classes. She's perfect. She's the main show. The rest of us are just the audience.

I rolled my eyes as she jumped off the stage and started crowd surfing. I looked over at the other girls. Olivia was delivering a flawless drum solo and Raquel was watching Uma in awe. She looks up to her so much.

The crowd finally got Uma back to the stage. As she stepped back on the stage a guy in the front row grabbed her ass. 

Uma quickly turned around and kicked him in the face. The crowd cheered loudly. 

"Don't touch people without their consent." Uma said into the microphone. "Or you get kicked in the face like this jerk!"

They cheered again.

I swear if we don't get paid because of this I'm going to kill her. 

If I don't pay my phone bill, I'll have to call him. 

And that's the last thing I want to do.

~~~

We still got paid! I think even more than we were supposed to. I had to get this money into my account. I hurried over to Olivia.

"Hey, is it okay if I give you my part in cash and then you send me the money on your phone?"

"Why?" She asked. 

"Um, there's this killer pair of shoes that I need to buy and there's only one left."

Olivia's eyes widened. "A shoe emergency. Of course."

"Thank you so much!" I ran to the bathroom for privacy.

I stared at myself in the mirror. How the hell did I look so put together when I'm a mess?

Broke, failing school, no boyfriend, constantly overlooked.

Being Fiona Simmons was not a walk in the park.

But at least my phone was on for another month.

Olivia's POV

I love being behind the drums. 

No one could see my body behind all the equipment. I felt like a complete cow today! I couldn't believe I ate that whole foot long!

I had to do better tomorrow. Only salad and water. Salad with no dressing of course. 

Maybe I should start smoking again. That really helped me lose weight before. And Uma smokes so I won't get flack from other people about it. 

I could also try some diet pills.  But those make me feel absolutely horrible. 

I had to figure something out. I had gained fifteen pounds in the last year. It was horrific!

Of course no one else sees it like that. They see it as me getting better and healthy. But how could I be healthy when I didn't feel beautiful? When my clothes were getting tighter? When I look in the mirror and feel disgusted?

Oh snap, my drum solo is coming up! I cleared my mind and just focused on the music. Drumming is the only thing that silences the constant rumbling of my mind. Maybe because they're so damn loud.

I glanced at Fiona. She looked upset. I don't know what's been up with her lately. She's been so strange. 

I tossed my red hair out of my face before twirling my purple drumsticks and finishing my solo. Uma was back on stage. She turned around and kicked a guy in the face, causing me to laugh.

Serves him right.

~~~

Who the hell decided there would be cake at the after party?

I was trying to avoid it. Maybe if I drink, I'd feel less hungry. 

"Shots?" Uma asked as though she could read my mind. 

"Yeah sure." I forced a smile to my face, my eyes still on the cake.

The shots didn't work. I still wanted the cake. I checked the time. 11:47pm. 

If I scarfed down a few slices it wouldn't count for tomorrow. Today is already shot to hell. It can't get any worse.

I went over the cake, but just stared at it. 

"Want some Liv?" Raquel asked me, causing me to jump. "I made it."

So it's her fault. "Yeah, just a small piece." I smiled.

Even just the smell was intoxicating. Oh, it was so good! Raquel sure knows her way around the kitchen. I went back for two more slices.

At first I was fine and then I felt disgusted. Why had I eaten so much? I had to get rid of it. 

I ran to the bathroom and made myself throw up. I already felt lighter, better. No more cake. 

I washed out my mouth and looked in the mirror, wiping the tears from my blue eyes. 

Olivia Holland, tomorrow you will do better.

Only salad and water.

Umas' POV

What if he's at this show? 

What if he's in the crowd watching me and I had no idea? What if he had been watching me my whole life? Would he be happy or disappointed?

Maybe I would never know.

It's hard going through life not knowing who your father is. Not knowing if you've walked by him or smiled at him on the street. If he's known where you've been all along but hasn't said anything. 

Everytime I perform I imagine my dad is watching me, and based on how good my performance is will determine if he'll want to be in my life. It's a little crazy, but it makes me put on the best damn show I can every single time.

He probably wouldn't be thrilled about my outfit. Leather shorts, fishnets and a torn up Rolling Stones shirt. I don't think anyone wants to see their daughter like that. 

That's why mother never came to any of the shows. She's wildly supportive of the band, but she said she didn't want to see her only daughter acting like a sexual deviant in skimpy clothing.

She also hated pop punk.

I was not the ideal front woman for a pop punk band. Fiona fit the bill physically. Long blonde hair, green eyes, pouty lips. 

Then there's me; brown skin, hazel eyes, wild curly hair. No one ever thinks a Black girl can front our band. They give me skeptical looks and then we start playing and I see on their face how shocked and impressed they are.

I was a force to be reckoned with.

~~~

We played such a good show! I was on a high at the after party. I was taking shots and signing autographs and taking pictures. I felt like a star!

Someone's hands slipped around my waist. "Hey my little rockstar."

I turned and saw my boyfriend, Cassius. "Hey babe."

"You killed tonight. You looked so hot up there." He kissed me. "Anyways lets get out of here, its crowded."

"No can do. I promised them a song."

He groaned. "Why do you have to be in rockstar mode twenty-four seven?"

"I'm just very serious about my craft."

"You're such a diva, Uma. I'm gonna go get a drink."

My phone buzzed. I saw I had a message from a name I didn't recognize. 

Zora Washington

Hi, this is going to sound crazy but I've been looking for you for years. My name is Zora and my father's name is Demiti Leonidas. I think I'm your sister.

As my phone screen went black I saw my reflection. 

Uma Leonidas you finally got your wish.

You always wanted a sister.

Raquel's POV

Stop looking at Uma!

I couldn't help it, she's just so stunning and intoxicating. How was someone so perfect?

I pried my eyes away from her suddenly worried that someone would notice my staring. If they noticed, they might wonder why I was staring at her and then they might realize that I was attracted to girls.

And I cannot be attracted to girls, that just doesn't work in my family. It's probably just a phase. I mean I dated Elaine and it didn't work so obviously that means a relationship with a woman was not possible. Besides, I have a boyfriend now. Me being attracted to women was a phase.

But if that's the case, why had I been in love with Uma since we were nine years old? Is a nine year phase a thing? I sure hoped so.

Pining after Uma was extremely hard because I wasn't the only person who knew how special she was. I watched as she dated bad boys and strange girls who were obsessed with her and yet didn't treat her right.

The most recent being Cassius Graham. He's so pretentious and vile. I didn't know what the hell she was doing with him. He clearly only wanted her because of her status.

She was the daughter of a famous fashion designer and destined to be a star. It was a good idea to hitch his wagon now while they were young. I hoped she realized how much better than him she was.

God she's a dream. I watched her crowd surf in adoration. She's like an angel.

An angel who will never be mine.

~~~

Over the years I've tried to convince myself that maybe Uma could love me back. I mean she's bisexual, I could be her type.

But then I think about how we could never actually be together. My family would completely disown me and then I would literally have nothing. So I love Uma from afar and pray no one ever finds out.

I stared at her so damn much though. It's like I'm begging to be caught.

"The cake is delicious!" Uma exclaimed, dipping her finger in icing and licking it.

"Thanks...um it's your favorite." I smiled.

"That it is. You're amazing Raquel!" She kissed my cheek before flouncing off. 

"Hey babe." My boyfriend David approached me. 

I think if I was more attracted to men I would really like David. He's handsome, funny and a very talented artist. He drew the most beautiful drawings of me. According to my parents, he was the perfect Vietnamese husband.

"Hi," I said. "Did you like the show?"

"Sure, but what are you wearing Raquel? Your parents would kill you if they saw your stomach out like that."

"That's why I don't invite them. And Uma said it was cute."

He rolled his eyes. "Of course she did. You see what she's wearing?"

"I think she looks great." I admitted.

"You need a new role model, babe."

"I'm in a pop punk band. Showing my stomach is basically a part of the culture."

"What about your real culture? Our culture?"

"It's kind of outdated," I pointed out. "Do you really not like my outfit?"

David sighed. "You do look cute." He kissed me. Every time he kisses me I try to like it. 

I never do.

"So you wanna get out of here and...you know?"

"David, come on, the party just started."

"Well then spend the night at my place tonight. I promise I won't keep you up too late."

"Sure," I nodded. "But not too late, I have class in the morning."

"Well I can teach you a thing or two." He kissed me again.

Get used to this, Raquel Vo.

Hopefully one day I'll actually like kissing boys.