LOGINShare
Self Hate
Last Updated:
2024-10-29 19:42:56Fiona’s POV
I felt like a lunatic, following Tim around, attempting to get him to speak to me.
Nothing worked. We hadn’t even had an official break up or anything.
“What are you doing here?” Tim groaned.
“I just need to speak to you, please.” I begged.
“Come in.”
I sat stiffly on his couch. “Tim, I’m sorry I lied to you, but...no one knows about Mitt. I need him. But I swear, nothing sexual goes on with him.”
“Is he who’s always calling and texting you?”
“Yes, he’s very clingy. He’s just lonely.”
“And you make him feel less lonely.” Tim rolled his eyes. “You’ve barely paid any attention to me lately and he’s the reason why. You’ve been with another man.”
“Not like that! We don’t have sex and I don’t feel about him the way I feel ab
Related chapters
The Fab FOUR The Fun FOUR
Fiona’s POVI felt like a zombie most days now.I was miserable without Tim and I still hated myself for how things ended between us. But now I didn’t feel like I was being pulled in so many directions. I was now just Fiona. Keyboard player for The Fab Four and broke and struggling college student.No boyfriend.No money.No prospects.I had nothing.~~“Fiona, what’s wrong?” Mitt asked in exasperation.“What do you mean?” I muttered.“You seem sad and you haven’t gone shopping in days.”“Shopping no longer makes me happy. You know, money isn’t the only thing I want! I have other needs in life, you know!”He looked taken aback. “What do you want then?”“To be happy.”“Let’s go,” He grabbed my hand.“Where?” I questioned.
The Fab FOUR Last Year
One Year AgoFiona’s POVI needed a job.We would be starting college in the fall and I had no real idea of how I was going to pay for my tuition. Mom couldn’t help me out and my scholarship wasn’t full ride. My only option was to enter the workforce.But how could I do that with the band?“Fi, break’s over!” Oliva called.“Coming!” I sighed.Rehearsal was great, even though my mind was elsewhere. I tuned into the conversation.“-it’s basically a favor for my mom, I don’t want to date an aspiri
The Fab FOUR Making a Move
Fiona’s POVI had a crush on Mitt.I knew it was crazy. He was eighteen years older than me and literally paid to hang out with me.Still, lately I was seeing a different side to him. He liked movies and roller coasters and making his own pasta. I found him to be so interesting and warm. Living with him was becoming insanely easy. I didn’t even find reasons to leave anymore.I wanted to let him in a little bit more.“Do you want to come see me play tomorrow night?” I asked Mitt after dinner.He looked shocked. “You really want that?”“Yeah, I mean, I guess I couldn’t int
The Fab FOUR Mezmorized
Fiona’s POVMitt’s silk sheets were balled up in my fist.I moaned loudly as he thrusted in and of me while kissing me passionately. I never thought this would happen, but that kiss at the piano quickly led to his bedroom. I was kind of nervous, considering he was older and had so much experience, but Mitt made me feel so confident and sexy.“You’re so beautiful,” Mitt whispered in my ear before kissing my neck.“Mitt!” I whimpered. “That’s perfect,”I wrapped my legs around him as he picked up speed. His stamina was insane. I swear we had been having sex for hours. Maybe it just felt that way because I was so lost in it. I bit down on Mitt’s shoulder as
The Fab FOUR Zora and The FAB Four
Fiona’s POVI looked around desperately for Mitt after the show.I couldn’t find him anywhere!My phone buzzed. It was him.I’m outsideI hurried out and smiled when I saw him leaning by his car across the street. I ran over to him and jumped in his arms.“So? How did you like it?” I asked.“You were amazing, Fiona. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.” Mitt smiled before kissing me. “You really are a star. I’ve never heard anyone play like that.”“Really? You thought I was that good?”
The Fab FOUR Four Exes
Fiona’s POVI loved having a boyfriend again.Sure we pretty much only went out at night and I couldn’t introduce him to my friends just yet, but I still had a boyfriend! And a rich one at that! Mitt literally bought me anything that I wanted!I think we could actually be something. “Want to go shopping?” Mitt questioned when I woke up on Saturday morning. “Ooh yes! For what?”“For fun of course,”“Where do you want to go??” I asked. “Actually, I was thinking that you could go with your friends. You take my card and you girls buy anything that you want.”“Are you serious?”“I want to make a good first impression on them. If they see that I treat you well, they’ll be a little nicer when they see I’m…”“Older?” I finished for him. “Among other things..” Mitt cleared his throat. “When will you meet them?” “Um…don’t know yet. Let’s just wait on it okay baby?” He leaned down and kissed me. “Timing is everything.”I nodded. “Yeah, okay.”He handed me a card. I looked down and saw my n
The Fab FOUR Fiona's Birthday Week
Fiona’s POVThe Fab FOUR were good friends for many reasons.We grew up together, we were all musically talented and we were all born in the same week.It sounds absolutely insane that four people born in the same week would find each other and become so close. Somehow we did it. Our birthday week was in mere days and I was so excited. I had never had so much money to spend on outfits for our weekly activities. Usually I would have saved up for months and still felt like I didn’t have enough.This year I had Mitt who was willing to pay for whatever.“Are you sure you can’t come to anything?” I asked.“I want you to enjoy your birthday week without some older guy ruining it. I know your friend wouldn't be thrilled about me. I’ll meet them another time, okay?”“Fine.” I sighed. “But you use that card to your heart’s content.” Mitt smiled as he pulled me to him and kissed me. “I want the credit card company to call me because the amount spent is so egregious.”I giggled. “I’m not sure
The Fab FOUR Olivia's Birthday Week
Olivia’s POVI kind of hated my birthday.So much food surrounded birthdays. Cake and ice cream and fancy birthday dinners. It was repulsive. I didn’t know if it was anxiety and the thought of food, but I was absolutely sick to my stomach leading up to the birthday week. I wasn’t even throwing up on purpose anymore. I had told Riley I had a stomach bug, even though I wasn’t sure if it was true. It at least allowed me to throw up without turning on the shower and limited my food intake. I was currently eating soup and crackers. A perfectly small meal. I was feeling good. I wanted to look perfect in all of my birthday outfits. “Are you sure we should actually do this whole birthday weekend thing?” Riley asked. “Yes of course we should. It’s tradition for the Fab FOUR, you know?”“Yeah, but you’re clearly sick. You should go to a doctor.”“I will after birthday week babe. This isn’t only important to me, it's important to the other girls too. I can’t let them down.”“Fine, but you ha
Latest chapter
The Fab FOUR Loose Ends
Fiona’s POV I loved life. I had more money than I knew what to do with, a loving boyfriend, the best friends in the entire world. Oh yeah, and a record deal. As alway, Uma was right. We won Battle of the Bands and got the coveted record deal. We would be going to California for the summer to finish the album we had luckily already started. I was so excited to go! I couldn’t believe how horrible my life had been before this. Broke, miserable, flunking out of school. I had really turned a lot of things around and I was proud of myself. I had come a long way. “What do you think she’s having?” Mitt asked as we got ready for Olivia’s baby shower. We were originally going to find out after Battle of the Bands but we were so excited and decided the first Fab FOUR baby deserved its own celebration. We were throwing it at our house since it’s the biggest. “Oh boy for sure,” I stated. “I’m sure of it.” “I think so too,” He admitted. “I guess we’ll see if we’re right.” “We’re her
The Fab FOUR The Battle of the Bands
Fiona’s POVUma and Hendrix are so talented!We’ve been in the studio recording the songs they wrote, and it’s such a surreal experience! We might actually be going places even if we don’t win the Battle of the Bands.“Don’t be negative, Fi, we’re gonna win!” Uma insisted. “We don’t know that,” I pointed out. “I’ve seen the competition, it is pretty stiff,” Hendrix admitted. “Though no one’s front man is as pretty as ours.”“See?” Uma asked. “ My good looks are going to get us places.”“Well, we already knew that,” Raquel giggled. She was different now. Not so jumpy and scared of everything. I think the weight of her secret being lifted really changed her life and her demeanor. I liked this new Raquel. “Fiona, where is Mitt with the food?” Olivia whined. “I’m hungry.”“Remember when she never wanted to eat?” Riley joked. “Now it’s like she wants to eat everything.”“Sorry, I’m just trying to grow your child.” “And I worship you for it.” Riley kissed her. “Seriously, Fiona, where
The Fab FOUR Talking Things Out
Fiona’s POVI was ignoring the whispers. I didn’t care what these people thought of me. I was in an incredible band, I had a great boyfriend, and most of my friends liked me.We ended up canceling our meeting to clear the air since Olivia didn’t feel very well, so Uma and I still hadn’t talked. “What do you think will happen when you two talk?” Mitt asked. “I just hope I won’t get slapped again.”“What if she doesn’t want to be friends with you anymore because of me?”“I don’t know, Mitt. We’ve been friends forever, I don’t want to lose that.”“I know and I don’t want you to.”“You don’t want any kind of relationship with her Mitt? Really?”“I feel like it’s too late. Too much has happened.” Mitt admitted. “I don’t think she really wants one with me either.”“I think you two should talk, like seriously. No yelling or excuses. Just talk to her. Maybe then she can get on board with us.”“You still want to be with me that badly? I know you’ve been hanging out with Tim.”“Tim and I are
The Fab FOUR Damage Control
Fiona’s POVI feel like I was getting so much information all at once. Olivia never really recovered from her eating disorder, Uma and Raquel were together, Raquel is an actual lesbian! I would have never guessed that. Of course it now made sense why she was so infatuated with Uma. “Who would do this to you guys?” J.T. asked. “I don’t know,” Uma sighed. “I mean I know that Cassius spread it around, but he got it from someone else.”“This person has to be a hacker or something right? Otherwise how would they even know where to look for my profile or find out what Olivia was doing online?” I asked.“Maybe it’s another band,” Henrdrix suggested. “I mean Battle of the Bands is right around the corner. A lot of people want the opportunity to get a record deal.”“I don’t think it has anything to do with the Battle of the Bands,” Raquel whispered. “Since everything is pretty much out now…I was being blackmailed about my sexuality.”“Someone was blackmailing me too,” Olivia said. “They kne
The Fab FOUR Exposed
Fiona’s POVI couldn't breathe.I swear everyone was whispering and laughing at me. “Slut.” A girl muttered as she walked by me. “Whore!” Another once cackled. I had never felt so judged and hated my entire life. I didn’t think I could actually stay on campus. “Fiona!” Someone called. “Leave me the fuck alone!” I screamed as I turned around. It was Tim. “Did you do this?”“What? No, of course not! I would never do that to you Fiona. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”“Am I okay? After someone exposed that about me and now I’m being called a slut by people that I don’t even know? No, I am not doing okay!”“Do you want me to take you somewhere? We can go talk or something?”“I can’t,” I shook my head. “I just want to be alone right now.”“Maybe that’s not what’s best.” Tim suggested. “What do you care? You dumped me Tim! For this exact reason!”“Fiona, did you forget that you lied to me several times? That’s what made me upset, that you lied to me all the time. I felt like I
The Fab FOUR The Bulletin Board
Fiona’s POVI was quiet on the whole drive home.I coudln’t actually believe what happened. Lied to by my boyfriend, yelled at by one of my best friends, slapped by the other. How the fuck did this happen?When we arrived, Mitt and I went up to our room. We sat on the bed and stared at each other for a few moments. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I whispered. “I didn’t know how to, Fiona. I loved you so much and I didn’t want to lose you.”“Have you known the whole time we’ve been together?”“Kind of. The moment you mentioned Uma’s name for the first time, I knew she was my daughter. I mean how many Uma’s are there in this area? I just…didn’t know what to say. And then I saw you play for the first time and I just knew it was her. She was so beautiful.”“You have nineteen kids Mitt? Are you in any of their lives?”He shook his head. “I never wanted things to be like this, but I had goals and ambitions and all those women and children didn’t really factor into that. I paid child support tho
The Fab FOUR Disaster
Unknown POVThis was a disaster.I don’t know how I let things get so out of control with The Fab FOUR. I wasn’t being as diligent as I should have been. I had to figure things out in my own life and let myself get distracted and I shouldn't have done that. The girls clearly couldn’t handle life without me!Fiona had been dumped by Tim and I had to know what had happened. It was hard to get Tim alone. I wasn’t sure if he remembered me or not, but I had to at least try right.“Hey, Tim. How’s it going?” I said, sitting at a table with him. “Oh hey, how are you?” He grinned. “It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?”“Yeah, it has been. How are you and Fiona?”I felt like if it seemed like I wasn’t up to date on their relationship it would make me more disarming. “Oh um..Fiona and I actually broke up.” He muttered. “I’m sorry to hear that,” I frowned. “Was it because of the way she makes money?”His eyes widened. “You know about that?”“She accidentally let it slip once,” I lied. “I didn’t agr
The Fab FOUR Who's Your Daddy?
Fiona’s POVZora would not ruin this for me.I didn’t know what was wrong with her! Who did she think she was telling me that I couldn’t bring my boyfriend to meet my friends? Why the hell was it any of her business anyways? I was a grown woman and I could handle myself.“Maybe she’s right,” Mitt suggested. “No!” I exclaimed. “She’s barely even my friend, I don’t care what she thinks! The girls really want to meet you and I can’t back out now. It’s tomorrow baby.”He sighed. “You’re right, and I promised. I never want to lie to you, so I will do it.”“Thank you, babe,” I kissed him. “They’ll think it’s weird at first, but then they’ll see how much I love you and how good you are to me. And then we can quadruple date.”“Fiona, honey you are getting ahead of yourself, my love. You have no idea what will happen. We should prepare for the worst.”“And what is the worst?” I questioned. “I…I don’t know, Fiona, but I just have a bad feeling about this, okay? But I will do it because I can’
The Fab FOUR Announcements
Fiona’s POVZora had been strange to me.Meeting Mitt definitely made her see me differently. I didn’t think she’d be so judgy with me, honestly. I thought we were friends now. “I’m so excited to meet Mitt on Friday!” Uma smiled as she sat down in Hendrix’s lap.Olivia and Riley had invited us over to celebrate him getting out of the hospital. I still wasn’t sure what had happened, but I was glad he was okay. “I’m excited too!” I smiled. “Zora already met him.”“I sure did,” Zora muttered. “Well, what was he like?” Uma pressed. “Was he super hot?”“You wouldn't think so.”“Why not?” I asked. “You don’t think Mitt is hot?”“I like girls, what the hell do I know?”“What?” Uma asked. “Did you just come out to us?” Raquel asked, almost in alarm. “Just like that?”“I didn’t mean to, but it’s true. Zach and Fiona know.”“Why does no one tell me anything?” Uma asked. “But that’s kickass, good for you sis. I can see why it didn’t work out with Tim.”“So you’re not bisexual?” Raquel asked.
