Forced Choice

“Bu..but I thought you said you were going to wait until you found your mate.’’ I let out, finding the words even though my mind was a storm of emotions.

“I am going to be alpha. That responsibility falls on my shoulders, whether I want to or not. I would want to avoid it with everything that I have, but I just can't. Everyone is looking up to me…’’

“And I believe in you, Weston. You are my best friend, but I just don't think this is the right step for you.’’ I thought out loud, meeting his eyes for a split second. “A mate should be someone destined for you. you can't just choose one.’’

“And you think I don't know that?’’ he let out, as he slowly walked away from me. His fingers found his hair, as he paced around. We were only a short distance away from the garden. “Alondra, all I want is to become a good Alpha, and if that means that I would have to sacrifice my own happiness for the bitterness of the park, then, so be it.’’

“But you don't have to. You can be happy and the pack would still be happy as well. It doesn't take a long time. All you have to do is wait until the moon goddess gives you a mate.”

“And how long do you think that will be?’’ He asked, raising his voice. I stared up at him, reading the emotions behind his eyes. “I have been looking for her for more than six years now. My sister found her mate the second she turned 18, and Aria and Jake found each other two years after Aria’s eighteenth birthday. I assumed that I would be late, then I probably found her at 22. But it has taken too long, Alondra, and I am afraid I see reason with what my parents are saying. I cannot be an unmated Alpha. It is a sign of weakness.’’

“Then what happens… you choose a mate for yourself, a woman you barely know?’’ 

“Mates are people we barely know.’’ He argued, placing his gentle hands on my shoulders as he rubbed them. 

“It doesn't have to be. It can be someone you've known all your life. It can be a friend. It can be an acquaintance. It can be a neighbor, a citizen.’’ I rambled, feeling frustrated and panicked. The truth was right there at the tip of my tongue. I just didn't want to admit it. it was a prayer that even the moon goddess could not answer. It was a miracle that she did not have the power of fulfillment. My best friend and I were worlds apart. His destiny had nothing to do with me. He would live his life differently. But oh, how I had wished that I would be the woman for him.

“I mean, come on, does it not bother you that you haven’t found your mate either?’’ 

I looked up at him, his words sinking into me like a hanger left on the shore. 

I shook my head, no, and he stared at me intensely, as if trying to decipher me. I was not in a hurry to find my mate. Sometimes I quietly go to the moon goddess that she would give me someone as good as my best friend, and that he would allow me to love them just as much as I love him. But my feelings for Weston could never die. I love him more than I love myself… more than life itself. How can I get over that? How can I watch him grow and find a mate and be left behind? 

“It bothers me a little.’’ I confessed, hoping it would get him off my back. 

“There it is… and it bothers me too. It bothers me that I have been alone for all this while; that I am going to be the leader of this wonderful pack and I have no one to share it with.’’

His words stung. I bit my lip, trying to arrange my thoughts. Three full moons from now was such a small amount of time. and I was unprepared for whatever changes would come my way. 

“I'm not going to forget you.’’ He let out, snapping me out of my bath before I looked up at him.

“Where did that come from?’’ I asked with a playful tone, forcing a smile. I stepped back before walking right into the garden.

“You know that, don't you?’’ His voice echoed in the empty space, as he followed behind me. “I made a promise to you, Alondra, and I intend to keep it. You're my best friend and I'm not going to forget you.’’ 

I turned to look at him. 

I dreaded the feeling behind his eyes. I dreaded the coldness between us. It felt as if there was a thousand miles between us, yet, he was just right before me. He felt unreachable, like he was slowly slipping from my fingers.

“I am not going to forget you.’’ He repeated again, this time, slowly working towards me. Those who have ignited a storm inside me. I could feel tears peeking at my eyes, yet I didn't want to cry. An intense look flushed across his face as he held back a grimace. I wanted him to smile. He was beautiful and mild. But he was beautiful with whatever he did.

“This is the moment I've been waiting for all my life, and I have always believed that I am ready to lead this park, but now that I'm here, I just don't know if I have what it takes.’’

“You do.’’ I answered in the flash of a second. “ You have always been more than qualified, Weston. You will make a wonderful Alpha. This pack is lucky to have you, and you're right. You have spent your life preparing for this, and you're going to do just great. There is nothing you should be afraid of.” 

 I knew exactly what I was saying, and I knew that slowly by slowly, I would have to accept that he wasn't mine to begin with. 

“And I am lucky to have you as my best friend.” His words almost made me cry. And when I tried to hide my face from his, he gripped both my cheeks in his hands, before kissing the top of my head. He lingered. He took me in. I inhaled his scent, and the wolf inside me was excited. 

A best friend.  

My smile left my face. Realization that was all that would ever settle fast inside me. 

“Then I suppose I’ll also try to find my mate.’’ I spoke, forcing a smile. 

“Hmm,’’ he hummed as he pulled away, “I thought you weren’t interested in finding a mate any time soon.’’ His tone was void of emotion, his eyes however, were the real puzzle. 

“I wasn’t going to. But you’re going to choose a mate, and soon enough, you may forget about me,”

“No I won't,’’ He argued, but I looked at him with a stern expression. 

“It’s going to be okay, Weston. You’re going to be busy. The responsibilities of an Alpha are a lot.’’ 

“And how would you know?’’ He chuckled, hitting my arm playfully. 

“Why else would you be required to have a woman at your side, helping you?’’ I answered, and his laughter slowly died. Sadness filled his eyes as he stilled himself. 

“But hey, come on, we’ll still hang out here pretty often, right?” I asked, trying to rid his sadness, “Just like before, just like we always do. You won’t get rid of me that easily, oh mighty Alpha,’’ but he did not seem to get the joke, and neither did it lessen his burden. 

“Everything is changing so quickly.’’ He let out, faking a smile. 

“It is.’’ 

“But you, you’re the only thing in my life I want to remain constant!’’