Chapter Four

Later that night, sorrow whispered my name, the weight of my sorrow felt like an anchor, dragging me down. My world had shattered. The marriage I had fought So hard and sacrificed So much for had finally come to an end.

Harrison was sound asleep, like he had achieved his long life dream. Looked at the man who once promised to give me the world, shattering the one I had created. How could he be this selfless? What’s the reason he changed so much?. Did he even love me!. The more I thought, the more questions I had but still no answers emerged. I felt like I was drowning in the sea of uncertainty.

Being a person born in a broken family, growing up was like navigating a minefield. It really messed me up mentally, maybe that explains why I have always had attachment issues with Harrison.

My childhood was filled with numerous challenges, from low self esteem, anxiety and depression, social isolation, low academic achievement to identity confusion, and So many more. Thinking about Mia having to go through all these one day breaks my heart to pieces.

However much I want Mia to have a complete family, I also want her to always be happy. If her happiness isn’t in having a complete family, then we rather not have one, maybe that wasn’t written in our fate.

Nothing hurts more like knowing my daughter may go through whatever I went through. Having experienced how much it hurts, I can’t help but cry every time I think about Mia.

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“Good morning little princess, it’s already morning”, I said as I brushed my hands through Mia’s hair.

Her eyelids fluttered open, she stirred, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

“Good morning too mummy, why are you So early today?”she asked, her voice full of curiosity.

“Isn’t it obvious uhhmm…, I missed you So much last night, I barely got any sleep, that’s why i'm here to see you”. I said as I massaged her shoulders.

"So you didn’t miss me haa.., Miaaaa.., don’t break my heart”, I said as I put on a sad face.

“Ha-ha Mummy no”, She giggled, I didn’t mean that. I missed you too. She said as she hugged me once again.

“I love you baby, and I will forever love you okay, never forget that, You’re a princess and you deserve all the love in this world”. You hear me.

“Okay mummy, I love you too”. Her sweet little voice melted my soul.

“You can now get ready and leave for school before you get late”. i helped her get out of bed.

“And yes Mia", I continued, “today I will be the one picking you from school, okay”.

“Why mummy, what’s wrong with the school bus”. she asked with a curious tone.

“Nothing baby, I just want to give you company, that’s all”, I replied without lifting my gaze.

“Okay mummy, let me go freshen and leave before I get late". She said as she left for the bathroom.

As the hours slipped away,I had to pack all my belongings as well as Mia’s. It was the worst day of my life. I couldn’t help but wonder how different things could have been if I hadn’t chosen to keep Mia.

My mind ran back to the day we found out we were having a girl. I was so happy to finally get a little version of myself, unfortunately it wasn’t the same for my husband.

“I don’t want that baby, you have to abort them”. Harrison’s words still echo in my mind till date. He had promised he would never love her and I promised I would always love her. He stood on his word and I stood on mine.

My hands trembled as I packed, Each item felt heavy with emotion. I cried with every fold and every box. Sobs caught in my throat with each item. All that is left now are the memories of what was once a marriage.

As I closed the last box, a sense of finality washed over me, the house seemed to whisper goodbye. I had to call up my mother and inform her of my return home.

I pulled out my phone and dialed her number.

***Phone ringing***

“Hello”, her voice was warm and soothing.

“Hello mother” I hesitated before I replied.

“How are you Emily?”she asked.

I burst into tears barely uttering a word.

“Emily…Emily”, she called out with a voice full of concern.

“I am coming home mama”, I murmured.

“What, what’s wrong?”, she questioned.

“I…I…”, I stammered, tears overwhelmed me making speech impossible.

“Okay, I will be waiting for you”. She replied as though she had sensed something was wrong.

I nodded in agreement and hung up the call.

As I sat on my marital bed, the silence seemed to grow thicker and heavy with grief. My eyes gazed and fell upon a lone photograph on the wall, The smile of my daughter, vibrant and full of life stared back. Tears streamed down my face as I whispered, “my baby”.

I recalled the laughter, the tears and the joy we shared within this house. My heart ached , weighed down by the memories. The house once a home full of life now felt hollow.

My heart wretched, but my resolve remained firm, “I have to”, my voice barely above a whisper, “For Mia”, I raised my gaze at the photo that hung on the wall. The wedding photo ,once radiant with happiness, now hangs dulled and faded.

My mind raced with worries, My hands trembled as I recalled Mia’s words, “Let’s always be a complete happy family”. I felt a pang of guilt, I had tried my best to shield Mia from the fallout but it seemed I had failed at last.

The divorce, the arguments, the tension. It was all going to take a toll on Mia. Tears pricked my eyes as I realized I failed to mend our broken family for Mia’s sake.