Thirteen

FOR THE LIFE INSIDE ME.

SIENNA'S POV.

I had not only gotten sexed with away from desire but his words stung me. I took the rough sheets where he had just made out with me and brought them to my nose. Not to sniff on them like lust or any, but the smell made my heart clench, tears welled up in my eyes threatening to fall and although I forced them not to, they did. I couldn't help it, I could not have. 

The room went silence once Julian slammed the door shut behind him, and all that hung on was not just eerie silence but cries. He stormed out of the bedroom not looking back or stopped once, and I sat, muffling off cries. 

Not just cause he raped me, but my baby was uncomfortable. Every thrust he gave, it was as though my womb shifted and that made me cry loud but what could I say?

That I was pregnant and didn't know who the father of the child was. I wailed, tears gathering up in my eyes as if the eyeballs would fall to the ground. 

'My child must think I'm already a bad mother.' I let out the thought with another round of tears. This time, I cried them louder, there was no one in the house and even if there was, I did not care. 

My child. 

Just then, a sharp pain tore from beneath me. I stilled, unable to move even though I forced to. 

“Aishhh!“ I let out a grunt that sounded more than a cry. 

It was as if a cut had slit through my uterus.. I released the bed sheets from my tight grip and stood up, very carefully as I felt a watery stuff come out of my vagina. 

I got down from the bed and the liquid… was…

Blood. 

My mind skipped not just a beat as I heard it pounding in my ears. It wasn't just a bit, I still felt it flowing from me never failing to inject me unbearable pain. Slowly, I walked into the bathroom to wash up and then, without looking back, I dashed out for the hospital. 

I shut my eyes, really praying to God that I wouldn't miss the chance to mother this child, she felt like the only string of hope that life had gifted me to hold onto and I couldn't let loose of it. 

I rushed into the hospital not hearkening to the call of the nurse at the reception who claimed appointment before doctor's presence. 

“This is more of an emergency, you bitch!“ I cursed with gritted teeth as I yanked her grip off my shoulder aggressively. 

“Doc.“ I yanked the door open..

Issshhhh.. someone was there.. I should have listened to the doc. But protocols didn't matter right now. With shoulders high as I fought to hide the pain I felt in my bowel, I waited outside for just a minute until the gynaecologist was done with his earlier appointed patient. 

“Doctor.. I.“

“It's an early stage. You should not be having sex for now, it's quite dangerous and threatening to the baby's position and balance in the womb. I suggest abstinence, let your husband know.“

I didn't care about that as I mouthed in stutters. 

“But…” my breath hitched. 

“My baby… Is she.. is she fine?“ I heard my voice break but that was all I needed — The answers. 

“Yes she is. But please…” I didn't wait one more second to hear the gynaecologist as I stormed out of her office, mouthing a 'thank you.' 

That was all that mattered, right? 

Dashing out of the hospital, I made my mind, I wasn't going to settle for bullying of any kind of act. 

The house was quiet once again just as I had left it but the only difference was — the stung. It was no longer there. It had changed and renewed to a mind, a new person that would stay resilient just to protect this child. 

Consciously, I wrapped my hands around my belly, just below — my bowel to feel my child's movement and as if reading my thought, she moved. My face lightened up as a wide smile spread across my face. 

That was it. Motherhood felt like a level of achievement. I let my mind drift back to that cold night at the Celeste when I had let my guilt and judgement cloud my mind about this pregnancy as I let Harper's words replay in my head. 

“None of that matters. Sienna….nothing else matters if not you and your child, just because it is going to be you both in the future and forever.“

And since that night I had accepted it, I always felt new and even now, with the doctor's instruction, newness was the thing. I was going to embrace it. 

I smiled, all teeth revealing when it dashed off, replaced with a glint of showdown? Intimidation? Just when Julian walked through that door. 

I gazed at him, shooting daggers once he mouthed, 

“Did you… did you go to the hospital to get drugs cause your infections doubled up?“ His voice was hoarse and even his appearance rough and gruffly. 

“You didn't do that right? Why should you when you spread legs out for men out there willingly?“ It sounded more like a question but he'll no! No one regarded that as a question but taunts. 

I tried not to let those words pierce me but somehow they did. I turned my back against him and walked up from where he was, he was drunk, I saw that, but it was less my concern. 

Just one step at the stairs and I felt his grip on me trying to throw me unto the floor. 

My child. My mind drifted to the child in my baby, I needed to protect her and in that act, I twisted my wrist, confusing him so he fell instead and shoot!!

That was it, he tripped over to the floor and even when he stood up, I saw the bruise on his chin and the only different was his eyes; they were much clearer now and seeing that just made me laugh dryly. 

“You bitch!!“ He cursed while raising his hands up to my face once he found his feet firm to the ground again and when he met my gaze that were flaming, I saw him stagger and then replace that vulnerable moment as if to mouth. 

“Is it not infection? Did You go to abort a pregnancy after sleeping with a couple of men?“ Those words were taunting. I got provoked but wouldn't answer. 

“Or are you…?“ He trailed off as he suddenly was punched over across to the floor by…

Dominic. None of us knew when he entered but at that moment, I let out a shaky breath. 

That was close. He could have gotten clue that I was pregnant if not for Dominic. 

However, for the latter, he winked at me, curving his lips into a wide smirk as if to remind me of that one reckless night with him and saying.. 'you owe me one.' 

I shaked my head as if to disagree but it dawned on me — I had to keep my stance or be pressured. 

Just a choice that had to be made.